[Closed] Stand-in engagement ring

A whole bagful of spares
[img] [/img]

5.99 from argos. 99p care plan

bargain. if she's the right person she'll love it anyway (mrsconsequence has kept her argos ring)

*does a double take at Stoner's suggestion

Stonor.

Does that vibrate !

Hula hoop.

Or an onion ring if she's a big girl.

I made one out of some pipecleaners; seemed to go down well.

I think Geoff and Neal have different uses for Haribo than most people... 😛

I made one out of teased-out brake cable and a ball bearing, detailed with some copper wire out of a standard electrical cable. Spent a fun afternoon in the making and she loved it. Keeps it in the box for the 'proper' ring.

I went with the Haribo option - it was a bit fluffy as it had been hanging around in my pocket for a couple of weeks, but it did the job.

I just went without, my significant other didn't seem to mind. I proposed in a busy public area and she would have been mortified if id have done the 'one knee/ring box' thing in the middle of everyone.

I've often wondered about the logistics of a proposal. My girlfriend and I have been together for over 8 years now and it's going to have to happen eventually.
I've already made it reasonably clear that I'm not fussed about it, but I think it'd mean a lot to her. But that's a whole other issue...

Anyway, what's the general "procedure" as it were? I've had mates who've spent up to £2k on an engagement ring then had to buy a wedding ring as well, which just seems a bit silly.
Are the two rings supposed to match up? My dad proposed to my mum with a fairly nice ring, which matched up to a simpler wedding ring so she wore them together.
After they split up, my mum re-married my now step-dad, who proposed with a similar (albeit, nicer) setup.

It's all a bit confusing...

yeah you deffo want the two rings to match so get them from the same place ideally and think about it carefully before you go for a vintage or unusual engagement ring. Wedding rings are generally v simple and plain bands and are much cheaper. My gf was spoiled by both rings from the same place, same material but engagement about 8 times more expensive 😯

*some women are 'different' and dont wear engagement rings or some other variation

Depends on your missus’ tastes. I have a one stone engagement ring, and a simple plain wedding band that’s of a similar width that I wear together. On the other hand, my sister-in-law had a £2k + engagement ring with huge stone, and fancy wedding band that she traded in for an even flashier one on one of their anniversaries. I’d be too sentimental to do that, it’s not the bling or aesthetics that matter to me, it’s the meaning behind it. Although the sparkles are quite nice. 😀

German tradition is to transfer the engagement ring from one hand to the other in the wedding ceremony, where it becomes the wedding ring, so I've been told.

I think Geoff and Neal have different uses for Haribo than most people...

Ahhhhh, is [i]that[/i] what it is 🙂

Must be a posh one, mine don't come in presentation boxes 😉

Go back far enough in tradition the Engagement ring should cost one month's salary. Net or Gross tradition does not specify.

If the time ever comes for me it will be "Would you like to get married, or would you prefer we had food and heating this month?" 😀

"I've often wondered about the logistics of a proposal. My girlfriend and I have been together for over 8 years now and it's going to have to happen eventually.
I've already made it reasonably clear that I'm not fussed about it, but I think it'd mean a lot to her. But that's a whole other issue...
"

you are me and i claim my 5 pounds.

I just went without, my significant other didn't seem to mind. I proposed in a busy public area and she would have been mortified if id have done the 'one knee/ring box' thing in the middle of everyone.

Do you really need the ring? Isn't a proposal enough?

[i]Go back far enough in tradition the Engagement ring should cost one month's salary. Net or Gross tradition does not specify.[/i]

Actually dreamed up by.....wait for it.....the people who sell rings!

[i]The idea that a man should spend a significant fraction of his annual income for an engagement ring originated de novo from De Beers marketing materials in the early 20th century, in an effort to increase the sale of diamonds.[1] In the 1930s, they suggested that a man should spend the equivalent of one month's income in the engagement ring; later they suggested that he should spend two months' income on it.[1] In 2007, the average cost of an engagement ring in USA as reported by the industry was US$2,100.[11][/i]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Engagement_ring

Just get her pregnant. Worked for me.

I went to the jewellers [28 years ago 😯 ] and the nice man simply suggested I took a reasonably priced one to do the deed and come back later with the lucky girl to choose something that fit and she liked and exchange the first one

I didn't bother with a ring when I asked on the basis that I wanted to make sure she got to choose The Ring that she wanted (in the right size as well)..... that and I proposed after turning up by surprise behind a huge bunch of roses at her place in Australia (flying out was the longest most nervous 36 hours of my life!) so I figured it would be special no matter what.

We didn't get a ring for a while (mainly until she finished the year out in oz) and then went to the jewellery quarter in Brum and made a special day of it, looking at rings til she found the "perfect" one. That way we could go back for the wedding rings to match later.

Re: one knee.... of course you should be on one knee - you're trying to convince her that she's so special you want to spend the rest of your life with her, if you think asking in a traditional way is going to be embarasing then you're not exactly committed are you?

Embarased? no way; scared witless and a nervous wreck before, certainly.....and then when she said yes (or in my case "of course I will you daft sod") I wanted to jump up and down and shout and tell the world!

Anyway, what's the general "procedure" as it were? I've had mates who've spent up to £2k on an engagement ring then had to buy a wedding ring as well, which just seems a bit silly.
Are the two rings supposed to match up? My dad proposed to my mum with a fairly nice ring, which matched up to a simpler wedding ring so she wore them together.
After they split up, my mum re-married my now step-dad, who proposed with a similar (albeit, nicer) setup.

It's all a bit confusing...

General procedure is quite simple.
Engagement ring signifies that she is engaged. This is generally the flash ring that has one or more diamonds or other stones in it. Then when you get married she has a simpler (usually plain band) wedding ring that goes on the same finger as the engagement ring, usually worn together so they ideally should match.
Usually the man will have a wedding ring, but no engagement ring.

To the OP, personally I think proposing with a stand-in ring is an enormous cop out and you should MTFU and do it properly.

Down on one knee? Absolutely. As Badger says, if you're worried about a bit of embarrassment when asking the woman you love to be with you for the rest of your life then you're not exactly committed, or you are a pussy. Suck it up sweetheart.

Hopefully you will only ever get engaged once. Best do it right eh?

In my opinion, the tradition of how much a ring costs is rubbish and as recently posted, from the ring makers themselves! As mentioned earlier, choose a ring cheaper and upgrade it if she wants something different, or do what I do and get something designed and made that you think she might like! Because my wife is a seamstress as a hobby / money maker and likes mountain biking and the great out doors, I got her something quite simple and plain that wont snag material, trees, rocks etc!

She was more than happy with it, because it was my gift to her showing my Love for her and my commitment. It wasnt something she would then go and show off / lose because it was so flashy!

And you have to embarrass yourself to propose - it shouldnt be easy! or you do what I do and go somewhere sentimental to the lady, and not have to worry about anyone else!

Just to be clear id be perfectly happy to propose to my now fiancee in a crowded place however SHE would be mortified. She isn't the sort of person to want that attention on her. I would suggest that that is not totally unheard of in the fairer sex

Right,

I have probably had more experience at this game than most (clues in my forum name)

You spend what you want or can afford, the engagement ring is a token of your love

However as said before personally I would not get a stand in ring, as you can only make 1 first impression plus girls get very attached to things and she will also take great pride in flashing it about to all and sundry

Don't take any notice of the 1 month salary idea, just buy the very best item available for the money you want to spend

Okay so my engagement story:

I got back from driving home from a riding holiday in Chatel at 3AM on Wednesday morning. We were booked to go to Lake Garda with a 4:30 check in on the Thursday so we had to go Manchester (From Newcastle) on the Wednesday night.

My(then) GF left for work expecting me to sleep until lunchtime and then spend the day sorting the laundry/bike/car. However I was on the computer with a big pot of coffee at 8Am - looking for rings.

I couldn't find any jewellers with decent online catalogues in Newcastle so I broadened my search - (actually I was looking for someone who could send the ring to the hotel at Manchester airport). I ended up on the site of Cavendish'e Jewellers in York.

I found a really nice vintage ring in the right size (we'd had a go of a ring sizer a couple of years ago while I was waiting for a watch being resized). It fit none of the criteria we'd previouslly discussed (trilogy ring, smaller side stones, not vintage/haunted) nor indeed did it fit the salary formula. 🙂 I then also noticed there was a further discount - result.

I envisioned this might be a stand in ring (most place have a decent returns policy so doing a trade in with the first month is pretty easy) but it turned out to be so good that this wasn't necessary.

I rang the jewllers who were exceedingly helpful and within an hour I was on the train to York (bought a single ticket in my haste, but the ticket collector changed it to a return for me 🙂 )

I spent an hour trekking around York looking in windows but nothing else stood out, so I went and bought the ring I'd seen online - it outshone lots of rings I'd seen at nearly twice the price.

Managed to get home and get the car pretty much unloaded, and some part of the way fit for human habitation, before the GF got back from work. 🙂

The Garda holiday wasn't originally planned as an engagement holiday (just an apology for disappearing on a 8 day biking trip) and I'd spent the week in France been gently chased by the holiday company who had overbooked our hotel and needed to give us an upgrade 🙂

At this point I didn't have a plan - i knew the resort we we're meant to be staying in had some emotional resonance (we watched a beautiful wedding there a couple of years previous) and had nice little bars/gelaterias that might fit the bill.

It turned out the hotel was fantastic and there wasn't any real need to head out after dinner - I proposed on the second night while watching the standard hotel keyboard player under candlelit canopies by the pool. There were a few people around, but it wasn't like I made the singer stop or anything - it was just our moment.

My fiance loves the ring - but getting the setting and mood right was probably just as important.

I'd had the ring hidden in my sock all evening - ring boxes are in no way stealth.

In conclusion
Know your Size
Do your research
Set your budget (if it makes you wince without crying, or having to worry about being able to heat the house all winter that's a sufficient commitment)
Go somewhere nice

really nice story Oliver, out of interest what's the lake guarda hotel? I love it round there but only slummed it so far.

@ STUEY01

Firstly, how is using a stand in ring a cop out?? the commitment is exactly the same.

Secondly, I fully intend to get down on one knee and propose in a place that is right for us, be that public or not.

I think you should go back and read the OP properly before calling people a "pussy".

I suppose all input is welcome on an open fourum, just amazes me how some people have time to write such dribble on them.

Massive thanks to everyone else who took the time to post!!

I got engaged in a Travelodge in Leith, Edinburgh. Beat that for romantic!!

In fairness, we were in Edinburgh for a long weekend and I had planned it. I had a small bottle of fizz hidden in my daysack, we'd walked all round and about 30 mins before dusk i suggested a walk up to Arthur's Seat to see the sun set and the lights over the town.

But my wife to be responded (and I quote): "**** off, my feet are knackered and I want a sit down"

Hence deed was done the next morning in bed, and toasted with warm champagne in tooth mugs.

My stunt engagement ring was a plastic thing from a shop in Luxor.

The real one was bought in a back street in Addis Abeba- Ethiopian Silver, cost was 150 birr. £6.

Joanne loves it, and her wedding ring was a copy of the design by a local silversmith.

It's not about cost. It's about love. Love does not mean expensive.

I have the perfect solution,

My friend Katerina is a jewellery designer and had so many chaps ask this question she designed a "pop the question ring"

[img] [/img]

This ring looks the business but only costs £50 and it comes in a box that turns it into a permanent keepsake, the idea is that you then go and choose a ring together.

Some people have the pop ring turned into a different piece of jewellery.

James

@pictonroad

That's great!! Do you have the details please.

Many thanks

http://www.popthequestionring.com/

(stolen from the image properties)

Thanks

doh, knew I'd forgotten something!

[url= http://www.katerina.co.uk/ ]Katerina Jewellers[/url]

[url= http://popthequestionring.com/ ]Pop the question[/url]

FWIW,

I proposed last December to my girlfriend of 4 years. Leading up to popping the question I was really nervous, not about if she would say yes but if she would like the ring.

I was in half a mind to get her to pick it with me as I didnt want to stuff it up. HOwever I went into the local jewellery shop, that all her fmily have got their stuff from, and looked through the options of what they had and what I could afford. I knew she was quite a traditional girl and that she would want something classic so looked at a simple single diamond solitaire rings and basically looked for the best one I could afford. I had been saving up for a while as I wanted to get her something really nice.

When I spoke to her dad about asking her to marry me I asked him what he thought about the ring and he said he thought that it didnt matter what I picked, she would love it anyway so to just go for the one I thought she would like. After all I am going to marry her so I should have a good idea what she likes and doesnt like by now!

Anyway, bought the ring. We went to Boston in America for a long weekend in December, so I managed to hide it all the way out there. I proposed in Boston Public Gardens on our 4th anniversary (yes i got down on one knee....which she loved), and the rest is history. She loves her ring and loved that I had been into to do the research and pick it myself.

Now we are planning the wedding which is going to be eventful I am sure!

I guess what im trying to say is that I know its stressful and youll be anxious about not getting to it right, but trust yourself and she will love it anyway and love that youve put the effort in to pick one you think is best for her.

If it is wrong then just take it back and buy the Nomad frame! 😆

Secondly, I fully intend to get down on one knee and propose in a place that is right for us, be that public or not.

I think you should go back and read the OP properly before calling people a "pussy".

gj78,

That wasn't really directed at you, just a general comment. Apologies if it came across that way.

I stand by the comment about the stand-in ring. If you choose the ring yourself, she will love it and appreciate the effort.
Why wouldn't you want to choose it yourself?

but, a day out choosing a ring together and making a weekend of it could be a lot of fun too...

I Always wonder about the lovely nice bits of handlebars I trim down....

Stuey01

It's something we have spoken about loosely, as most couples do, and I know she would love to help design the ring as she is very creative and has hinted at that.

I also think it could be quite fun to do together.

(thinking of just getting the frame at the moment, hahaha)

Regarding purchasing the ring itself, the biggest piece of advice I could offer would be to avoid the high st chains, such as Ernest Jones.
I did a reasonable amount of research and found that they were offering smaller and lower quality diamonds for the money than you could get at independant jewellers in places such as Hatton Garden.
If you are going custom then you probably won't be shopping on the high street anyway.
I'd find a jeweller with whom you can choose the best specific stone, based upon your budget, size, clarity, colour requirements and have them make it into a ring for you.

A website I found that has a good feature for viewing their different designs, is www.cooldiamonds.com
They have quite a few different designs and you can rotate the images to look at them from different angles, might give you some ideas.

edit: good luck hiding that frame in your sock before the proposal 😉

Also, good luck fella. Scariest, most exciting and best thing I ever did was proposing to my missus.

Exciting times.

[IMG] [/IMG]
i made one!

I don't know if this will work for you but when I mentioned to future mrs sid's father that I was going to pop the question I had the thought that she was incredibly close to her late grandmother so I also asked him about the possibility of using her engagement ring. He agreed and my fiance loves the ring. Its a small and thin wartime ring with a bridge of 5 diamonds on the top and some engraved patterns on it. It looks really nice, a little bit different and it has a lot of personal meaning to my lady.

Stuey01

Cheers dude! Thanks for the site.