Forum menu
Sons have just been...
 

[Closed] Sons have just been accused of shoplifting

Posts: 0
Free Member
 

I’d be in the shop and I’d make them wish they’d never been born.

And we have our first clear crime, that would be on cctv, and would be taken further.

I think everyone needs to calm down, there are 2 very clear points, 1. parents(and other parents listening to parents) who automatically believe their kids are always innocent because they said they are cannot be trusted, the police have a special blank face for this.
And 2, everyone here should try standing behind a till during school lunchtimes, staff have to try and limit the chaos and groups of kids filling their pockets.


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 11:19 am
 poly
Posts: 9136
Free Member
 

In Edukator’s world if your mum is a credible and reliable witness and says she can’t believe for one second that you would lay a finger on anyone you would be found not guilty of murder.

It doesn’t mean Saxon’s not 100% sure about his conviction, but I thought Edukator was a (former?) teacher and would have met many a parent who was adamant that their offspring would never do anything of the sort despite having seen it themselves? Of course nobody is saying the kids ARE lying - just make sure you don’t make a tit of yourself if it turns out the kids did something stupid or out of character for once. FWIW if it were my son I’d be absolutely astonished (he is as rule following a teenager as I have ever met - to the extent I worry about him!) but then I remember when he “accidentally” saved my credit card details on his computer then “accidentally” bought some games without meaning to!


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 11:31 am
Posts: 8332
Free Member
 

Does the shop sell frozen sausages? If so, you have your answer …

Also this..

Make a counter claim against the shop owner of touching their front bottom and bribe them into free sweets for life.


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 11:42 am
Posts: 3136
Full Member
 

Hope the kids had the sense to only shoplift the expensive sweets 😉


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 11:43 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

I’d be in the shop and I’d make them wish they’d never been born.

Ah, the internet.


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 12:37 pm
Posts: 1185
Free Member
 

I’d be in the shop and I’d make them wish they’d never been born.

Brilliant. Currently in first place for me, just above the Don Logan one.


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 12:40 pm
Posts: 7449
Full Member
 

everyone here should try standing behind a till during school lunchtimes

I'm going to do that today. What should I tell the nice shop lady when she asks what I'm up to?


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 12:41 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Brilliant. Currently in first place for me, just above the Don Logan one.

Someone's got their panty-girdle in a twist...


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 12:54 pm
Posts: 11605
Free Member
 

You can’t throw doubt at Saxonriders account of events without implying he’s a liar.

Yes you can, if you imply he is possibly naive as many have already done.

Point the thieves make is don't be so sure you know your own kids. It's absolutely relevant to the thread.


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 1:07 pm
Posts: 1185
Free Member
 

Someone has been making insinnuendoes against those poor boys.


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 1:08 pm
Posts: 6859
Free Member
 

Is this whole thread a metaphor for Israel and Palestine?

I enjoyed this.


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 1:11 pm
Posts: 10336
Full Member
 

I enjoyed this.

So did I. I can't remember what the original thread was that did it but it was still great


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 1:15 pm
Posts: 7135
Full Member
 

It was about a dispute with a neighbour encroaching on the OPs garden iirc? Google-fu is letting me down though


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 1:22 pm
Posts: 17848
Full Member
 

leffeboy

I enjoyed this.

So did I. I can’t remember what the original thread was that did it but it was still great

Wasn't it something about an allotment & putting a fence up because of a squabble, which was a descriptor of the Israel/Palestine situation? Quite amusing....


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 1:32 pm
Posts: 33197
Full Member
 

So has the shop reported this to the school or the Police, or are we all going nuclear for nothing?


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 1:33 pm
Posts: 46087
Free Member
 

or are we all going nuclear for nothing?

Point of order. Some people are going nuclear.

I'm just grandstanding and wondering why the thread feels like a Twitter thread...


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 1:41 pm
Posts: 9112
Free Member
Topic starter
 

Thanks to all of you for your responses. Yes, even to those of you who think I might not recognise if/when my children are lying to me! 😉

I wrote nice email to the school last night (asking that it be forwarded to the respective heads of year or form tutors), briefly explaining what had happened, with the sole purpose of making them aware and asking them to let me know if anything further happened.

I got a nice email back from the younger son’s head of year (cc’ing the other), saying that they know both boys, and that he would be happy to find them and have a quick supporting (but also advisory) word with them later today.

I wrote back to say ‘thank you’ and to confirm that I trusted him and the school’s discernment as well.

So hopefully, that’ll be the end of it.

As for those who wondered if I might be being naïve with respect to my kids: I have always made it clear to all of them that they will be trusted, but they also have to earn that trust by making good decisions or at least owning up to bad ones. They also know that their parents will not automatically take either side in a dispute, but that we will do our best to discern what is right and true, and that they will be loved either way… even when they do mess up.

Hopefully, then, they know they can be honest, and I know, when I look into their eyes, if there is even a flicker of dishonesty. That said, I do NOT believe that my kids are right above all. They definitely aren’t, but we try to meet each situation as it comes up.

Finally, the thanks I started by offering, I really mean. I knew I could come on here and get good advice - and a range of opinions!


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 1:49 pm
Posts: 628
Full Member
 

I'm not saying you are likening this thread to the wrong social media, I'm saying you could be likening it to the wrong social media.
I'm 100% sure that this is more like a mumsnet thread, and my kids would agree if they weren't at school and if anyone disagrees with what they agree with, I'll make them* wish they never logged on, (unless they had CCTV evidence of not logging on).

*a person in a shop


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 1:56 pm
Posts: 3193
Free Member
 

well..... I'm very disappointed. Did you make ANY freedom of information requests at all?!?! Did you even go and fight the shopkeeper for besmirching your Sons honour??

Pah - terrible parenting!


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 2:04 pm
Posts: 6940
Full Member
 

If anyone wants to chill, there’s another thread about biscuits featuring an actual biscuit scientist. Only that went a bit shit with the whole biscuit vs cake thing.


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 2:16 pm
Posts: 13811
Full Member
 

I'm still struggling to see what this has to do with the school, other than they had clothing on with a school name on. Going by that if I steal something wearing an Endura top on from tesco will they contact Endura?

The shop man has no right to get the school involved, he sounds a dick. I would awaited the school to contact me and question why they are even involved.

My youngest had a "handbag fight" over nothing  with his best friend* after school on way home, a teacher became aware of this and put him and his friend on behaviour monitoring in school for a month. When I found out I asked why when it had nothing to do with school all happened out with the school grounds, neither of them reported it it anyone. Got a wishy washy reply that school standards etc. after a meeting with HT were they really couldn't give me  reason why this should be happening they removed the monitoring and all record off his school file.

*They are still best friends 10yrs on


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 2:25 pm
Posts: 7766
Full Member
 

Oh the irony of Edukator calling somebody a troll when he ACTUALLY had troll put next to his name by STW instead of free member to warn everybody!


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 2:36 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Wait, what's this? 😀


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 2:42 pm
Posts: 8100
Free Member
 

When I was little my mum drove past the owner of the local newsagent with us (me at 12 years old with twin brother) in the car while on the way to school. He leaned in the open window and said, "the next time you're in I need to talk to you about your children", and then walked off.

My mum spent the next thirty minutes demolishing my brother and me, before kicking us out of the car near the school, 15 minutes late.

Turns out when she went in later to apologise he told her that we were the politest children he'd ever had in the shop. I believe my mum still feels guilty.


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 2:48 pm
Posts: 13554
Free Member
 

What were the accused of lifting? If sweets you should get all 1970’s on them and make them eat their own body weights in said sweets. Just like when your dad caught you smoking and somehow thought the best course of action would be to make you chain smoke a 20 pack of B&H.

Ooh, even better one along those lines. Threaten to disown them both until they have lifted circa sixty percent of the stock in the store without being caught!


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 2:59 pm
Posts: 3032
Free Member
 

Whoever it was throwing accusations around and threatening to report my kids to the school on the word of another gang of kids. I couldn’t care less how much that person earns and its irrelevant anyway. I didn’t realise being on minimum wage makes it ok to threaten kids. If you don’t think defending your kids on things like this is the right thing to do you shouldn’t be a parent.

Ascertaining facts might be the best approach - or were you an angel as a kid ?


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 2:59 pm
Posts: 5909
Free Member
 

My youngest had a “handbag fight” over nothing with his best friend* after school on way home, a teacher became aware of this and put him and his friend on behaviour monitoring in school for a month. When I found out I asked why when it had nothing to do with school all happened out with the school grounds, neither of them reported it it anyone. Got a wishy washy reply that school standards etc.

Unfortunately quite a lot of parents actually expect (and/or need) schools to act like, well, parents.


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 3:18 pm
Posts: 7449
Full Member
 

They also know that their parents will not automatically take either side in a dispute, but that we

will ask on the internet first 😛


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 3:41 pm
Posts: 117
Full Member
 

My two lads (aged about 13 & 14 at the time) were accused of shop lifting (sweets and biscuits). We were only told of this by mother of one of their friends who got caught by store security. When we spoke to the lads they said they were completely innocent.

When we contacted the store they said they had CCTV that proved otherwise and while we didn't see the footage they described the lads and what happened. Armed with this, we had another conversation with the lads and funnily enough they changed their story.

We also had a look at their phones and conversations they had with their friend after the event and that proved beyond doubt they were guilty as hell.

Taking their phone, PlayStations and grounding them was their punishment (and the shop banned them).


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 4:43 pm
Posts: 7214
Free Member
 

Taking their phone, PlayStations and grounding them was their punishment (and the shop banned them).

But they still got pudding?

You're soft.


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 4:59 pm
Posts: 6991
Full Member
 

OK, I'm done being an internet hard man. Today I'm an internet lawyer.

It's important to remember that GDPR isn't a needless piece of legislation the EU forces us to follow. In the digital age it is very necessary, especially when it comes to children. And it's doesn't just apply to asking for details online.

The shopkeeper was completely wrong to take your children's names and school without asking your permission first. In addition, they coerced your children into giving their names with the threat of it being worse for them if they didn't. It's an accepted fact that children are vulnerable to coercion because they have't had time to fully understand what their rights are.

You might say, 'but this is harmless and the shopkeeper is under a lot of pressure' and you'd probably be right. However, it's not a problem if a single kid steals a Mars bar for the shop It's a problem if every kid starts stealing a Mars bar. That's why shops have policies to prosecute no matter how little is stolen. It's the same with data security.

When most of us were at school it would have made no difference if the shopkeeper had our name or not. These days though, having the name and school of a child is much more risky.

Lets say a child molesting shopkeeper uses this method to screen potential victims. He says to a child, 'Those kids told me you were shoplifting. Give me your name and school and I'm going to call the headteacher.'

If the kid said, '**** off. Do that and I'll tell everyone you tried to touch me. Now give me all your Mars bars and a packet of Marlboros. Nonce!' then that it a child that is best left unmolested.

If, however, the child immediately bursts into tears and gives their full name, their address, and everything else including the name of their first pet then this child-molesting shopkeeper has found himself a potential victim.

With the name and school it's fairly easy to find whatever social media account the child uses and from there send them a message to say, 'Sorry about earlier. One of the boys confessed so there's no need to get in touch with the school. Sorry you were so upset, why don't you come by the shop tomorrow and you can have some free sweets to make up for it. No need to worry your parents about this, eh?'

I think the shopkeeper ****ed up big time and left themselves open to all kind of accusations. I would be thinking about mentioning this to the school and asking them to make sure local shops understand what they can and can't do if they think some of their pupils are shoplifting.

I'd be angry with the shop too, but I absolutely guarantee that a middle aged mountain biker coming into the shop and ranting about bombers, frozen sausages, and demanding the staff hand over their shoes will instill nothing like the same level of fear as the school calling up and saying, 'We've had reports you may be grooming school children. Can we check that you are operating in accordance with GDPR?'

Yes, the child molesting shopkeeper is an unlikely scenario in the same way stealing a single Mars bar is unlikely to lead to a shop going out of business. The problem comes when it becomes common for adults to ask for children's names and schools if they suspect them of committing a crime without the proper safeguards in place.


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 5:19 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Jesus christ. Are you serious?


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 5:53 pm
Posts: 6991
Full Member
 

Which particular part are you finding triggering?


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 5:58 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Wow....


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 6:09 pm
Posts: 5171
Free Member
 

I'm very much afraid he is. Clearly child protection was inadequate in times past, but like a lot of things these days the pendulum has swung completely in some people's minds & has gone as far as completely barking.


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 6:12 pm
Posts: 7214
Free Member
 

Which particular part are you finding triggering?

I think the bit where you weaved an elaborate fictional Paedophilia back story into a grumble about a misunderstanding with a shopkeeper.

(...and I just googled Paedophilia to find out how to spell it so that's gonna look great in my browsing history.)


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 6:12 pm
Posts: 20982
 

How many of you tut when you hear news stories of kids that slipped through the nets designed to protect them? It’s often lots of little things going unnoticed, rather than one big thing.


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 6:16 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

BruceWee
Complete Member
Which particular part are you finding triggering?

The bit where you come across as a complete psycho....


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 6:35 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

 
Posted : 07/10/2021 6:36 pm
Posts: 5171
Free Member
 

How many of you tut when you hear news stories of kids that slipped through the nets designed to protect them? It’s often lots of little things going unnoticed, rather than one big thing.

My God you’re right! I’ve just realised that shopkeepers up and down the country have been guilty of enticing children onto their premises & providing them with sweeties. Why has nobody noticed this before? If that isn’t paedo behaviour then I don’t know what is.


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 6:42 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

"Two pin DIN plug"

😀

I've got to lie down now. Genius.


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 6:52 pm
Posts: 13554
Free Member
 

We’ve had reports you may be grooming school children

Can he do mine? The youngest ones hair is a right mess!


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 7:01 pm
Posts: 2367
Free Member
 

Reading this thread has reminded me why I'm no longer a scout leader.

The kids were mostly fine. The parents however...


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 7:11 pm
Posts: 6991
Full Member
 

The bit where you come across as a complete psycho….

OK. Good talk.

I see in true STW fashion the point has been completely missed.

The point is not that this scenario is particularly likely or plausible. The point is that if you normalise members of the public taking children's details because they may have been involved in a petty crime you are giving people access to these children in a way that was unimaginable 20 years ago.

If an old man suspected 12 year old me of knocking over his bins and took my details what was he going to do with them? Was he going to come into my room in the evening to have a chat? Any contact he had with me was going to have to go through my parents or the school. That protective barrier no longer exists.

Even without getting in touch directly, you can still find out a lot of information about people online. What sports they like, what clubs they go to, what their parents do for a living, etc.

I know in Brexit Britain we're getting rid of the red tape and sticking two fingers up to Brussels but let's maybe consider for a moment that this law wasn't brought in just to annoy you when visiting a website. Let's consider why it was deliberately made to be medium neutral and applies to however you gather and store data.

Let's also consider why it specifically mentions the risks to children.

But yeah, if you reckon it's just a stupid piece of Brussels bureaucracy then you should definitely go ahead and ignore it. However, if you're quite happy to ignore the rules you don't like, can you really complain that much when the kids ignore the rules they don't like and steal all your Mars bars?


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 7:17 pm
 LAT
Posts: 2405
Free Member
 

i was wondering why the **** i was still reading this. then i got to the last page.

though, sort of agree with Bruce and definitely agree with Tom.


 
Posted : 07/10/2021 7:21 pm
Page 3 / 5