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another thing to bear in mind is that if you do talk to her and she's a bit off with you/grumpy, don't take it to heart it could just be an ovary action
Righty... twenty years of dating has been an experience. I'm no expert on women, but I know what's worked for me in the past and what hasn't.
Firstly, don't try to impress. Just don't. Be you. Chat to her and ask if she enjoys biking. If she does, ask her if she'd like to join you sometime.
Getting further than that is a can of worms I'm not going into. Just try to get the first goal out of the way before you attempt to level up.
I struggle with long sentences, just ask her out, the worst she can say is no. She's a person, just like you, not an alien species.
tazzymtb what a corker 😆
brycerw,
Your thread prompted me to have a look at my organisation to see if there is any fit female species that want to help me pass down my gene ... and hers.
🙂
According to the game you just need to dress like a musketeer, do a card trick and try to cop off with her mates. Like Adam Ant crossed with Paul Daniels and John Terry. Putty in your hands thereafter. HTH but remember they bloomin are another species!
Deep breath, just do it. It'll be fine, really, it'll be fine.
(mind you, i've never asked anyone out!!)
It's funny how males think females are from another species and females think the same of males, how difficult we all make it for ourselves
Depends, brycerw
Can I offer a small piece of advice - at least find out if she is single before you plough in there guns blazing...
Figure out who her best friend is at work and ask them if she has a partner. They are bound to tell her, and then she will know you are interested. If she suddenly quits to work on the rigs, there is your answer.
this has made me chuckle. Ask if she has a good grip, because you need to tighten your spokes.
Failing that, make good eye contact.
I've just read your initial post and skipped to the end. Not my experience but a good friend of mine has been on one or two biking dates. A couple of the guys have gone out of their way to show off/race off in front of her, she won't be dating them again.
My advice as a woman is firstly don't focus on this lady being more than she is, she's just a woman and therefore probably more than open to a normal conversation with you.
Secondly if you get to the riding (?) stage just go at her pace but don't condescend her by being all blokey and protective.
Its Friday in 2 days, heres hoping to see your post saying you've asked her out by then 😛
[i]It's funny how males think females are from another species and females think the same of males, how difficult we all make it for ourselves [/i]
OH DO GET A JEFFING GRIP YOU GREAT BIG BLOODY BLOUSE. JESUS WEPT, YOUR MUM AND DAD MANAGED IT....
Go for it I say....
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Just read the rest of the suggestions on the thread and my giggling produced an unexpected nose bogey bubble 😆
Secondly if you get to the riding (?) stage just go at her pace but don't condescend her by being all blokey and protective.
Surely she'll need a bloke to help her set up the bike properly, repair any punctures and gallantly ride ahead through the the herds of cows.
What advice can you give on the big bum in lycra question? The answer clearly is going to be yes, but what do you consider to be the most acceptable and, more importantly, believable "no" response?
How should one respond if she wants to do anything more difficult than a green run?
How should one react if she asks to have a look at the map? (It's not really like she'll know what to do with it, is it?) Should I simply play along in full confident knowledge of the route, therefore boosting the poor little poppet's confidence?
Is there anything that the male rider should take in the first aid kit for...... you know...... for lady problems?
It's all a bit complicated being a girlie, isn't it?
And, of course, difficult knowing what a bloke should do.
Any advice gratefully received.
**** off Don 😆
IDEALLY, If i told her friend I liked her,they would blab and then SHE would ask ME out,THEN I would suggest biking...however that's me clearly just being a massive pusssaaaaay. Can I say that here? 😉
Aaaaaaaw bless you emsz, little ladies shouldn't really be using language like that, should they? You'll never get a nice young man to be interested in you like that, will you...? 🙄
Hopefully not, Don LOL
😆 😉
If she turns up in Lycra, you could always offer her a [url= http://www.cuchini.com/ ]Cuchini[/url] 😀
Poss NSFW linky.
I quite like a lady with a dirty mouth.
get jacked up on mochachinos and vibrate violently near her, i've been told ladies like vibrators
do you know what, in all seriousness, virtually no-one would just go up and ask her out.
most people, and I don't think there's any shame in this, would strike up a bit of friendly banter with someone at work, engineering situations near the coffee machine or the printer and just talk to them, then on a work's night out maybe get a bit flirty after a couple of drinks... then at some point down the line make a lunge at her down the pub or even casually ask them for a drink after work once a bit of rapport has been established.
people do this because it works.
try it.
brakes - Memberdo you know what, in all seriousness, virtually no-one would just go up and ask her out.
Might be a ladyboy ...
Good advice above but firstly you definitely need to hone your investigative skills as you appear to know next to nothing about her. Try and accidentally bump into her by the coffee machine, hack into her email account, make friends with people she hangs around with at work and casually mention you are sick of women who only want you for your 'physical attributes'.
I'd also suggest following her after work and find out where she goes and who with. This should lead you to her house and you can surprise her on the doorstep with a lovely bunch of flowers. Girls like that when you show a bit of initiative.
Most importantly, don't mention bikes.
You're right mate,I don't know enough about her. I will try find out more without looking like some kind of stalker. I think some of you are underestimating something-when I say im awkward...I mean REALLY!!!! I feel myself getting all flustered when i see her,perhaps I should just accept my girlfriend is my bike! that sounds so wrong...
Woody,
Or you might be mistaken for being a stalker ... 😆
Cuchini...incredible. I think one of them said "camelflage" by accident!
OP, relax and take an interest in what she talks to you about. Strike up conversation on shared ground and find out what she likes/doesn't and build on that. The bike thing may work but remember that she just may not relate to it as much as you but still enjoy it to the same degree.
Be yourself, pay attention and try not to show off. Making them laugh is key! But for the right reasons 😉 Ask her if she fancies grabbing a coffee or something in a relaxed 1:1 way and get chatting. Listening is a big deal too.
The balance varies for each person, pay attention and you'll figure it out.
Oh, and don't mention how you discussed this with a bunch of strangers who happen to be bike nerds. Not cool. Maybe further down the line as an amusing anecdote but not yet, it's too fresh.
I'd also suggest following her after work and find out where she goes and who with. This should lead you to her house and you can surprise her on the doorstep with a lovely bunch of flowers. Girls like that when you show a bit of initiative.
This is good, I think I saw it in a Meg Ryan film too so it has to work.
cheers mate,the unfortunate thing is we don't work closely enough together. Same building yes but different department so we only ocassionally cross paths, so striking up convo is the trickiest part. Lunch breaks are hard too as there are a million and one places she could go at lunch as we work in the city,but i'll take all your suggestions on board. I just always liked the idea of a biking date rather than a 1 on 1 "lets ask each other a million questions" kind of date,it could turn out fun,who knows,certainly not me at this rate 🙄
PJM1974 - MemberBe you
Bloody awful advice. Be George Clooney.
So, ask her out on a mountain biking date. If she says "yes" - great.
If she says "no" - you don't want to be dating her anyway, so she'll be doing you a favour.
andysbeans - MemberJust read the rest of the suggestions on the thread and my giggling produced an unexpected nose bogey bubble
I have this nasty feeling that may not endear you to the opposite sex - but then on here, you never know 😉
Ah, ok. The thing is, it's hard to know what she would make of the bike ride as an offer. It may be worth even saying something like "me and some mates are going to ..... this weekend, would you like to join us?" and that way she may be less likely to deflect. Deflecting may not mean she doesn't like you, but just maybe she's unsure if she'd be happy 1:1 doing something you probably like more than her. Offer it to her and any of the people she rides with so it's a broader social thing.
This will give you a situation to chat to her instead of suddenly being in a 1:1 situation straight off with less pressure too.
why not just ask her to join you for coffee and a chat first? keep it simple and honest.
Serious advice, go for something where there is an exit. Start with a coffee after work, if it goes well, it goes well. If it goes badly, she or indeed you have a perfect excuse to go your seperate ways.
A committment to a 1 hour ride plus faffing is going to put you together for 2 hours, not likely to say yes to that one.
Start small and build up.
cheers for the advice, like I said once I find my balls then i'm on the case. You never know, it could be a success(doubtful) and I could start a trend and women everywhere will start falling at our feet when we say we are "mountain bikers" 8)watch this space, er who am i kidding!?
Already said above but they are right.
Wrong attitude. It really is no big deal and the worst she can say is no thanks I'm busy.like I said once I find my balls then i'm on the case
Before it comes to that, you really need to try and have some sort of interaction with her to test the ground before going as far as "asking out on a date". It is quite probable that you have slipped entirely under her radar and at the very least she needs to feel comfortable around you. Brief chat next time few times you happen to meet eg. "hi, how was your weekend - do anything interesting", then, as long as she appears friendly/chatty, move on to something relatively innocuous and informal, along the lines of " After the day I've had I could do with a drink - care to join me?". No big deal if she says she can't but it may well be positive and as they say around here, shy bairns get nowt.
Can you use social media to find something out about her?
Try looking on Facebook, LinkedIn etc. and you may get some info on whether she is single or not and what she is into.
I've found that strangulation works. You can then keep her under the kitchen sink, airing cupboard, or crawlspace of your house. Whatever you do, don't use the patio method, it never seems to end well.
P.s. Ask her out first.
"I hear someone is into the outdoors"
and
"should I ask her to come on a ride"
Don't you think there should be quite abit of conversation between those two points?
Like hello, my name is. Talk about work, see if you get on, THEN find out what hobbies she does. See if there is some synergy.
If a girl came upto me out of the blue and said "hi my name is Kate do you want to come handgliding"
Actually I'd say yes and **** her senseless but then I'm a bloke.
I think a bike ride is a non starter really - as a first date.
do you know what, in all seriousness, virtually no-one would just go up and ask her out.
most people, and I don't think there's any shame in this, would strike up a bit of friendly banter with someone at work, engineering situations near the coffee machine or the printer and just talk to them, then on a work's night out maybe get a bit flirty after a couple of drinks... then at some point down the line make a lunge at her down the pub or even casually ask them for a drink after work once a bit of rapport has been established.
people do this because it works.
try it.
This is the best advice on here so far.
Botom line - ask her out/ make lunge after the above scenario - if she's interested - bingo! If not then - never mind, you had a go.