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My son turns 16 next month. Whilst he's not academically a high achiever, he's a great lad and I'm (obviously) extremely proud of him. He lives with his mum ( we divorced 10 years ago) and developed an interest in the army cadets about 2 years ago after some bullying problems at school (at the time he was a bit overweight and a bit soft - which he is certainly not anymore).
He is now a 6 ft strapping lad and loves cadets, pretty much lives for it. He's just called me to say that he's been to the army careers office today and booked his Army recruit battery test (BARB) which he needs his parents permission for. His mum is going to flip! Pretty mixed emotions right now and I know anything could happen between now and next year when he leaves school but he seems so young to join up. At the same time, I would also be full of admiration for him taking such a massive decision.
Take him out to the garden, shoot him in the leg, ask him if that feels like a good career choice.
Does he really know what the army's like these days and what kind of war he'll be participating in?
My niece joined the Army at 16 straight from school. She's got her head screwed on and was determined to join. The family supported her full and two years on she loves it. Definately the right decision for her.
Full respect to your lad, not just for joining but also for actually knowing what he wants to do and going fot it!!
His uncle (on his mums side) and 2 cousins are all in the regulars.
gravitysucks, +1.
Good for him, a great choice of career. What line of soldiering is he looking at? Any initial thoughts?
Well ideally I would like him to get a trade in engineering of some description, if he does sign up and he was thinking along those lines but both his cousins are infantry (lancashire fusiliers) and he's now thinking along these lines 😕
Support him and maybe he will listen to your concerns for him but support his choice.
I'd suggest you talk it through with him, make sure that he's not just caught up in the idea rather than the reality of it (doesn't sound like that's the case) and if he's still sure, let him do it - by the sounds of it, all you'll do by refusing is delay it and cause resentment.
Good luck
Let him go. Good on him.
Interesting "More or Less" programme on radio 4 a few weeks ago where they said that the chances of death per year of a UK Soldier on active service was lower than the chances of death per year of a musician who achieved chart success...
Infantry is rather pure soldiering. What have the Lancashires been up to?
My son is keen, and just a bit younger that yours. rather embarassingly I've forgotten the name of the regiment he is interested in. Basically its' a Comando engineers regiment
Possible comprosise solution... RAF?
Good engineering opportunity and generally kept out of the way of Taliban target practice.
Probably come out with a good degree and be paid for the priveledge, rather than paying £27k plus living costs.
My da wouldn't even let me join the scouts!
Interesting "More or Less" programme on radio 4 a few weeks ago where they said that the chances of death per year of a UK Soldier on active service was lower than the chances of death per year of a musician who achieved chart success...
Quite a misleading and meaningless comparison.
I almost joined when I was that age. Almost went to army college, then off to uni, then to sandhurst, etc. etc. Instead, just went to normal college, then uni, and after that, who knows? I don't really think I want to be in the army anymore, but I was pretty sure a few years ago. It's a tough thing, as at that age you can be pretty sure about something, but you may change your mind. You say he's not bright, but is he bright enough that he might have a better career doing something else? He can always leave (maybe) if he hates it.
by the way, you can't just walk into engineering posts, you actually do require some academic prowess.
i was in the same boat as him, had a shit school life, joined cadets wanted the army life as i loved what i had in cadets.
i'm now applying for the royal navy....
Good for him, as others have said try to 'guide' him towards the engineers or something so that he's got a trade and his job prospects are massively increased when he leaves.
MSP - I'd disagree - but we musn't pull the thread too much OT.
The death rate per year of one bunch of 20 year olds, compared with another.
Not saying they are realistic alternative choices, but whilst the death rate in the modern army understandably is a concern to any parent - and a real shame - we are not talking about the fatality rate in lots of previous conflicts.
My point is that people may have an artificially high perception of the death rate in the services.
Great career choice if thats what he really wants to do. If he doesnt like it he wont make it through basic training...its a world away from the cadets!
Loved my time there, and i know the British Army has changed a great deal since then, but if its what he wants to do then find out all the information you can for him.
Support him in whatever he feels it is he wants to do. If it was my son I'd make him fully aware that this is real life and not like the cadets at all, also make him aware of the fact that he will be going to a war zone fairly soon too.
I'd be proud of him if it was me, there are far worse options open to teenagers and it's nice to hear of a youngster with some direction for once.
Real Man, I never said he wasn't bright, I said he is not academically high achiever. He is very switched on but isn't expected to achieve good exam grades next year. There's a difference.
Good Man.
I joined up at 16, and spent the next 12 years doing exactly that.
I had a great time, saw some great, ( And a few not so ) places.
Got a decent trade, and wouldn't change it for the world.
Sadly, a broken neck ment my career ended half way through.
Would do it all again.
Tomorrow.
Yeh a bit of direction from you will help and if your interested and encouraging him then he's more likely to take on board what your saying.
If I was that age in the currant climate I would def be applying. A very wise choice if you ask me.
His uncle (on his mums side) and 2 cousins are all in the regulars.
Has he spoken to them about what the reality is like? I think they could give him better advice than you could but whatever he decides you have to stand by him - he is soon to be an adult so treat him as such and gain his respect - he deserves it because it takes a certain type of person to be so confident about what they want (especially as it involves the potential for serious harm).
What's the minimum term commitment for a 16 year old? Is it still true that the UK is one of a small number of rich countries to still occasionally send child soldiers into combat or did they stop that after criticism a couple of years ago?
The death rate per year of one bunch of 20 year olds, compared with another.
"20 year olds who have achieved chart success" is a statistically insignificant group.
> The death rate per year of one bunch of 20 year olds, compared with another."20 year olds who have achieved chart success" is a statistically insignificant group.
Plus comparing death rates ignores the number of 20 year olds that have been seriously injured (missing limbs, paralysis, loss of sight etc) which I suspect is significantly higher in soldiers than in boy bands.
I know nothing about this, but. Could he go to collage first and then go in? Two years might make all the difference to the decision he makes and the opportunity available.
I would also have one eye on the long term, I have heard some sad stories of people coming out of the army, engineering side would look like a good move.
Sorry Bregante, not what I meant at all, I mistyped.
I think you're dwelling on the negatives. At least he hasn't suggested golf as a future career.
His uncle (on his mums side) and 2 cousins are all in the regulars.Has he spoken to them about what the reality is like? I think they could give him better advice than you could but whatever he decides you have to stand by him - he is soon to be an adult so treat him as such and gain his respect - he deserves it because it takes a certain type of person to be so confident about what they want (especially as it involves the potential for serious harm).
He has been spending increasing amounts of time with the two cousins, who are 21 and 19 and he looks up to them. I don't think they have been filling his head with bravado either from what he in turn, has said to me. I think he has recognised that, to a certain extent, academic qualifications count for a lit less in the forces, than they do in civilian life and there is not a great deal of opportunity for him where he is now.
He has recently been in Africa doing some charity work (I posted about it recently) which he funded almost totally himself and I think this has also opened his eyes to the wider world. Whatever he decides, he will obviously have my (and his mums) support.
Doesn't stop you fretting though.....
No worries RM
Has to be his decision - support him and make sure he understands what he's getting into. I've never considered the military (won't follow orders) but thinking back to when I was that age, if you'd told me I couldn't do something I'd just set myself against you and do it anyway.
Uwe-r. One option I am keen for him to explore is the army college at Harrogate (there are others) where he would study for two years in a given army career related area (eg: electro mechanical engineering). If after completion of two years, he wishes to sign up then he can go into his chosen field. Obviously places are limited though and entry is based on performance at assessment/interview.
how about the ta for a couple of years while he does FE of some sort. have no real idea of what i'm taking about, just a suggestion!
might it be a good middle ground for him to get a better idea of the more gritty aspects of being 'in', earning a few quid, but also maybe picking up a few a levels or a btec that might come in handy later, whatever he decides to do?
good luck to him, whatever. sometimes think i might have got on well in the forces, and regret not looking at it more seriously when i was younger.
He sounds like he is an intelligent young man - good on him.
Teetosugars - Member
Good Man.I joined up at 16, and spent the next 12 years doing exactly that.
I had a great time, saw some great, ( And a few not so ) places.
Got a decent trade, and wouldn't change it for the world.
Sadly, a broken neck ment my career ended half way through.
Would do it all again.
Tomorrow.
Same here.
Good Man.
I joined up at 16, and spent the next 7 years doing exactly that.
I had a great time, saw some great, ( And a few not so ) places.
Got a decent trade, and wouldn't change it for the world.
Sadly, a "too good to turn down" job enticed me to leave.
Would do it all again.
Tomorrow.
Quite a misleading and meaningless comparison
You're also 16 times more likely to die as a fisherman than a soldier in a given year. Death rates in soldiers are almost exactly the same as painter decorators.
On a serious note, maybe take them to your nearest AFCO and see about joining the TA for a little while to see what it's like? I was in the TA for 2 years at Uni and was considering joining the army or Navy after graduating. However, I didn't think much to the whole uber-tory vibe, seeming lack of any intelligence in many of the senior officers and excessive binge drinking. It isn't a job but a lifestyle and you either fit in or not and if you don't it all seems a little weird. The unnecessary vernacular and pointless traditions made me feel that the army was a whole different world.
On the flip side I got paid to learn to ski, would have got some great outdoors and SCUBA qualifications (but for admin F-ups), might have got a commission (another admin F-up) and got to travel a bit. You also make great friends, get great disposable income, pension and healthcare among other benefits.
My advice would be to maybe take a look at some of the scholarships available for A levels or Uni. There's also Wellbeck college which might be of interest? When you consider you could have a 30k degree paid for, be in the TA for 3 years at uni earning up to 2-5k and then walk straight into a decent job it does seem fairly attractive and you can leave after only a few years with a big wad of cash, lots of free qualifications, lots of friends and memories.
Wow. He sounds a lot more mature than I was at 16. I was an army cadet for a few years and really enjoyed it until it all got a bit too much like hard work... some of my friends joined up and said cadets had been excellent preparation.
I think if he's been a cadet for a bit and talked to currently serving friends, he's probably got a fair idea. I can't remember if they still do them, or if they're for everyone, but the Army used to run short taster courses - like basic training but for a few days - to give potential recruits an idea what to expect. They can probably tell him about them at the BARB.
It's a great idea and will give him a much more definite start in life, if he can hack it, than the usual drifting through college drifting through university slowly being turned into the average indebted consumer that some of his schoolfriends are going to do.
A good mate of mine joined up at 15yrs and 9months, which I understand to be the minimum age of signing up. Had the date written in his diary!
He comes from a very broken family (Mum died of heroin OD, Dad's an alcoholic... so was raised from age 10 by his ultra strict Aunt...)... so it was an opportunity to start afresh.
By his own admittance, if it was not for the decision of joining the army - he would have been in the middle of the Riots, getting mixed up with that sort of crowd...
Now he's 21, a Lance-Corporal ( in charge of 8 men ), and in the Rifles on the front line in Afghan (he flies out in Oct for 6 months).
He's seen more of the world than most of the posters in this thread put together, and enjoyed his time.
It's not for everyone - but for some people, it can be an amazing life changing experience.
I would also be full of admiration for him taking such a massive decision.
Indeed. Let him do it - I would have the same mixed emotions, mrs_oab would be very worried for them, but great choice and brave decision.
Get him in there and get his mother down the careers office to speak to the lads in there too. I went to college after a poor attempt at school and completely wasted 2 years failing A levels. Joined the Navy and have been in for 10 years. You'll find in the Armed Forces in general,that the only people that need to be academically gifted are the Officers, but then again you wont find an ounce of common sense in anyone of them.
Theres nothing for school leavers and even less for people with "Life Experience". If theres a branch recruiting in the Army encourage him all the way coz theres nothing more trouble than a bored teen.
Get him to read "Forgotten Soldier" by Guy Sajer.
If he still want to join after that, then fine
It's what is heart is set on, it is a valuable and demanding job. The financial rewards are meagre but the life experience is invaluable and it's own reward. The only alternative advise of any merit is that which my dad gave my brother ,finish your education first the army will still be there when you graduate, in your case from what you say he has probably gone as far as will be useful to him with his education. I would support his decision .
from a purely practical point a couple of thousand redundancies in the armed forces announced today and thousands more over the next few years (according to BBC)
is the army the same entity a lot of the posters here are talking about