I slipped on some rocks at the beach in flip-flops on BH Monday. Ended up totally slammed to the ground in some sort of weird squat-splits position in about 8.3 milliseconds.
I sprained my ankle and am still hobbling about unable to do much. The f'ing thing is still massively swollen and I'm guessing that my running for the plane last night while shouldering 20kgs of luggage wasn't the best idea, eh...
It wasn't even as if I was doing anything remotely cool to injure it.
Hummmpphhhh 😐
Your tales of woe..?
After a year of offroad running and increasing my distance to about 25 miles off road and taking a bunch of CR's on Strava, I tore my hamstring to death and wrecked my ankle competing in the dad's race at Sports Day, a year and a bit ago. I haven't run since.
2 stupid crashes now I run grip shift as my thumbs dont liken triggers
I managed to break a metacarpal earlier this year trying to line my tyre logo's and valves up 🙁
Fell asleep funny in an armchair one night and woke up with a radial nerve palsy. No right arm for the next 11 months, lost my job, had to move back home. Still got out on the bike with a home-made splint 🙂
Sorted eventually with deep tissue massage and acupuncture.
kicked a rock windsurfing in bare feet 30 years ago. Lots of foot operations over last 10 years as early arthritis set in and back at Consultant yesterday ... 🙁
Dislocated a finger putting an elastic band around a rolled up inner tube. No riding for about a month after.
On the morning of 'departure' in the motel car park immediately prior to what was a supported camping mtb tour I washed out the front wheel and hit the deck.
When I got up I noticed my LH index finger was kinda funny lookin. As in pointing at a jaunty angle. As in dislocated.
No problem I thought, it'll pop back in, just need someone to pull my finger...
Nope, need to go to the ER. After 15-20 minutes in a Chinese finger lock thing they decided they were doing more harm than good and it would need an op to reseat....
Bang went my 5 day mtb tour in the high mountains of Utah.
Is that the kind of tale you were looking for?
Oh, and there was the hernia I gave myself on a mate's little brother's rope swing.
Oh, and the 'who can jump up the most steps of Coventry cathedral' game that ended in a lifetime of chronic knee pain
Sprained my ankle badly getting out of the shed and tripped up over the lawnmower, landed with my spine on a rock in the garden, 9weeks later and i still need to wear an Aircast 60 ankle support as it is weak as hell, still have a numb/weird sensation on my skin from chest down to knees - doh!.
From now on i declare my garden a wilderness sanctuary
Okay... I fully don't feel quite so bad now! Wow... can't quite compete with 'Fell asleep... lost my job' 😯
Lining up steelwork on the floor to weld it I had to kneel, with eyes at ground level, to check if everything was sitting flat at each joint before welding. Managed to either stretch or crush nerves in both legs process leaving me unable feel anything from my knees, down my shins or the tops of my toes, or be able to work any of those muscles, so lift my feet to walk, or drive.
Because its uncommon to get neuropathy in both legs at the same time (and because the symptoms came on gradually over 24hrs rather than immediately as I was kneeling) it was all treated a bit seriously - rushed to hospital with the assumption it was the onset of [url= https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guillain–Barré_syndrome ]GBS[/url] plus full spine and brain scans.
Couldn't walk unaided for 5 months and the prognosis was "you should probably just get used to this" and it wasn't expected I'd get function back soon or even ever. Cost about a grand in orthotics to get back on my feet and back to work and prevent myself from being bankrupted.
Knackered achilles dancing.
ACL picking up a toolbox, leading to back issues.
Still ride as much, but currently 5mph slower everywhere than I used to be.
😐
Getting slightly better every ride.
Spent a few weeks limping around and paining-fully riding after a hydro slide crash in Centre Parcs.
Still, I know a guy with 9 and 1/2 fingers after an accident washing his bike.
33 years ago I jumped backwards off the climbing wall at the Michael Sobell Sport Centre in north London and landed on the edge of a big cushion, dislocating my ankle. That I lay there screaming in agony, my vision whiting out, with my foot sticking out sideways and not one single one of my caring fellow climbers made any effort to help me doesn't make me bitter at all, oh no. That I then managed to manipulate and re-engage the thing and then, after another ten minutes lying on the floor sweating in pain, got up and hopped to a payphone to call myself a taxi to A&E and not one miserable ****er offered to help me, also doesn't make me in the least bit bitter, oh no, not at all.
33 years later I am begining to feel the delayed effects as my ankle won't take any weight for a few minutes after getting out of bed. A physio tells me the dislocation is the likely reason.
Festival Finger. Bus queue for T in the Park in about 2010- 3 hours long, constantly shuffling forwards. I got fed up with my back on my back and put it down, and just lifted and moved it each time. By the time we got to the front I'd squashed the nerves in 2 fingers and they'd gone totally numb, took 2 years to get the sensation back.
Demonstrating to Jr yesterday why the shitty Penny Skateboard I got for his xmas two years ago was crap and unsafe. I climbed on board and promptly shot to the ground in a heap and sprained my wrist. Penny board now in the bin.
That night I was trying to be a smart arse removing my HebTroCo troos and socks in one go with the middle finger and managed to sprain it. Since the departure of my index finger Ive come to develop a reliance on that middle finger and really shouldnt go around damaging it. So now both hands/wrists are a bit crap. And Ive just been out on the Rigid MTB for a ride. Ouch.
I sat on my little finger and broke it. It's never been straight since.
Punched myself in the face once, trying to get a tyre off a rim.
After a day smashing the DH uplift at cwmcarn I popped out on the big bike to get a curry for dinner, on my return trip i failed to see a bollard in a dark alley, hit it square on, got catapulted OTB
the squeals of onlookers told me it wasnt good
only needed 6 stitches on my forehead but a few days later my entire face had puffed up along with the haematoma where id impacted
felt a right tool at my new job on Monday (Id signed the contract b4 xmas with a broken hand due to crashing at UKGE so didnt want to scare my new boss too much)
Off the bike for six weeks and 18 months later its still tender and I have flaskbacks to the sensation of my head interacting with the ground
also lost my keys
and wrote off the curry 😥
dont have know if i have a pic of my face when it was properly swollen up
[img] 
[/img]
[img] 
[/img]
I put a carving knife through my left thumb joint whilst sharpening it with an iron many years ago. Cue a trip to A&E for stitches when I met a butcher who'd exactly the same thing.
I still can't bend the thing properly.
Missed clipping in back of leg caught on chainring. Hospital, surgery, stiches and in cast for 3 weeks. Sat waiting for physio now!!
Driving to Chicksands for a ride with some of the folks off the chocolatefoot forum (RIP (the forum, not the people)), after 2 hours driving I had no idea where I was and turned round to get a map off the back seat of my car. Back locks up, I can barely walk and by the time I get to Chicksands its pretty much dark.
MrMichealWright (he of the music thread on this forum) thinks that giving me a bear hug from behind will probably fix it, and by bear hug I mean wrapping his arms around my waist and bouncing me up and down...in a forest, in the dark on a weekday night as I let out slow moans because of the pain....
Many years of physio since then and I still have a spazzy back. Which is probably nothing compared to the counselling that the dog walker needed as he watched two blokes dressed like power rangers having a struggle cuddle....
Building my Tamiya Fox on Christmas day 30+ years ago a pair of pliers slipped off the pin I was trying to remove (put wishbone in wrong). They hit me smack in the chops breaking one of my front teeth. Spent the rest of Xmas day and Boxing day in agony with an exposed nerve.
Tooth rebuilt the next day but then a few years later the nerve died so root canal surgery to clean that out and then earlier this year it got infected so more trips to the dentist to clean that out and another huge bill.
He mentioned after looking at the X-rays that the other front tooth I broke when the hose of an industrial hoover I was unwrapping flicked up (similar story with nerve dying later)looked like a ticking time bomb.
Joy.
Fell asleep funny in an armchair one night and woke up with a radial nerve palsy.
Ah, the old [url= https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=saturday+night+palsy&oq=saturday+night+palsy&aqs=chrome.0.0l6.3743j0j9&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8 ]saturday night palsy[/url]..
DrP
not me but a colleague....
world class bagpiper (proper good - silver medal in the world championships back in the day) before the days of headsets for phones. he used to wedge the phone between ear and shoulder and type notes on a PC. One day trapped a nerve and realised he couldn't feel his middle finger and couldn't pipe properly.
His wife wasn't best pleased either buy all accounts.
I slipped on some rocks at the beach in flip-flops on BH Monday.
Someone I know (a well-respected Consultant Doctor) tried jumping a low wall whilst on holiday when wearing flip-flops and broke his neck.
Somewhat ironically he had bumped into another Consultant that he knew when checking in to the airport a few days before and he was a neck specialist so he called him up and got him to oversee care whilst in hospital in resort!
On another note:
What goes 'Flip, flip, flip'?
A one-legged man in flip flops.
🙂
One of my own – I was working on the brakes on my car (an old Mini 1275GT), popped the wheel back on, spun it round and caught my fingers between the tyre and the rear radius arm, pulling off a nail.
So off I toddled into the kitchen to run it under some cold water and promptly fainted – my mum came in as she heard glass smashing – I had fallen straight through a pane of glass in a door frame and she found me there with my body in the house, my head outside with my neck resting on the remains of the glass in the frame. Somehow I didn't even get a cut from that – on another day it would have probably slit my throat and killed me on the spot.
Yup, but I was told there was irreversible nerve damage. Happily, that turned out to be untrue.Ah, the old saturday night palsy..
What do you call a French sandal salesman?
Phillipe Phillope.
While out for [url= http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/ow-5 ]a gentle spin 11 months ago[/url], I rode over a small hump in the ground (been there for years, know it like the back of my hand) to discover it was now a ramp with a small pit behind it! Caught my front wheel in the pit and slowly fell over the bars. Landed on the top of my head sending my full body weight through my neck. Felt a bit sore so went to A&E, they didn't spot anything at the time, but on rechecking the X-rays a few days later spotted I'd actually broken my neck.
Next 3 months were spent with a halo brace screwed into my face.
I've fallen off much bigger and more technical things, while riding much much quicker and got away with a slight scratch. But this "gentle off" has ruined me for the last year (fortunately not for the rest of my life though).
I had a good mountain bike accident ... in my garage. Wife's old Cannondale fell off the wall and split my eye open, looked like a boxer's cut eye. Bloody hurt too.
When I was 15 I was putting together a First Aid kit to go camping. I left the room and came back in promptly stepping on a scalpel blade - a lot of blood and no camping.
My BiL was sweeping up the workroom and the brush compressed a Stanley blade lying on the floor - this sprang up directly into his right eye and went in about 50%. He didn't know what had happened but his friend, having almost fainted, took him to hospital where they took his eye out, removed the blade and then re-inserted his eye. Amazingly he has 50% vision
My brother (playing at 'cars' with an iron) put it on my hand (my mum had been ironing but went into another room to answer the phone). I was about 3 years old when this happened and now, 46 years on, I still have the remains of the scar, only starting to disappear because older age wrinkles are disguising it.
Amazingly he has 50% vision
Is that including the remaining eye? Wouldn't seem to be that surprising an outcome if so. 🙂
75% of vision including both eyes!
Round at mates (beer involved), stepped out into back garden & slipped on wet decking, broke ankle bone, 2 toes & tore ligaments. 2 years later still suffering and due in for corrective surgery soon. Joked I should sue him, decking gone now, hateful stuff.
Had only just got over a year of pain from a knackered shoulder, all from chucking skimmers at the beach bit too enthusiastically. Age doesn't stop stupidity but certainly makes recovery slower.
Torn ligaments in wrist after falling off my bike.
Whilst stationary.
With both feet on the ground.
It's a special talent!
7 months since I managed to chip the rim of a wine glass with my wedding ring while washing the pots. The piece of glass below is only about 25mm long but was completely embedded in the palm of my hand and had to be removed by a neighbour who happens to be a nurse. The glass has damaged nerves at the base of my middle finger and I still have only 40% feeling in it.
[img] 
[/img]
Pointless because we have a perfectly functional dishwasher but I have a thing about leaving unwashed glasses overnight..
This is a great thread, I'm only glad my tale of woe isn't anywhere near as impressive, but definitely as stupid. Back in the days when we all had front mechs I was struggling to shift down from the big ring. Being a thinker I decided I'd give it a nudge with my finger, while riding up a steep hill. Cue finger trapped between chain and big ring. After half a revolution I ground to a halt, faced with the choice of pedalling forwards or backwards to get the finger back out.
Lots of blood at the time, but not real scar weirdly.
Sprained my left ankle 35 years ago trying to leave a footprint on a wall higher than a girl my height who did ballet. Slightly drunk.
Still hurts, still gives in every few months. Silly 😳
Tried a quick endo / tail whip in the garage on my Canadian mate's Bmx. Brakes where set up Euro style and I flung myself to the floor like a suicidal haddock, rupturing my spleen. Stylish...
Whilst ironing a shirt for work, I move the board (so I could see the tv) with the iron still plugged and balanced on the board in was pulled off by the cable. Luckily I instinctively caught it in my armpit and managed to rebalance it, despite the sizzling sound 🙁
Three days with my arm at a right angle explaining this accident.
I think I've spent too much time on the 'Arrggh my eye' thread as every time I scroll past the pic above I think Bregante has posted a picture of his pasty white midriff. What a fine figure of a man.
Free weights doing my pecs, I was marvelling how open/wide and heavy I could go..
My shoulder collapsed. One year before I could even attempt pressups again 8)
Last summer, season in Whistler.
Riding along the valley trail (Tarmac family route connecting the whole suburb area to the town), on my way to the park for a ride.
Not entirely sure what happened as I wasn't concentrating, but I managed to hit a barrier & ended up on the floor with a broken wrist, torn & damaged ligaments.
The best bit is I thought I would be a great idea to tape it up and carry on riding with the help of strong pain killers for the last month. Still hurts now a year later...
My wife broke both her arms playing rounders. She's a competitive soul and was diving for a base, arms out, both broken. 4 weeks of 1 arms in a cast, 4 weeks of very decreased mobility for the other. Toilet trips were fun for a while...
I put a fork through my foot whilst gardening. I was quite young at the time but my dad comments that I was stuck to the ground.
Lunge, I remember trying to wipe my ass. Never really got it clean. Did you..step in?
Hora, sometimes a man has to step up to the plate. The ass was not the only problem, bear in mind she was struggling for a month...and she's female...
[img] http://giphy.com/gifs/reactiongifs-mfw-club-12Nv3nBSCAbLO0?tc=1 via @giphy[/img]
Some genuine LOLs in this thread! 😆
Great stuff! 😀
(I'm not alone in this then..)