[Closed] Petty annoyances

People crunching food!

Once you catch that noise, it's impossible to ignore.

Gulpers and slurpers

Another one: software that tries to be cute. Especially when it's just crashed. "Oh snap" or "he's dead, Jim".
Just. Sod. Off.

"Yes but…"

Boil's my wee. Especially if I've just spent the last however many minutes talking at them…

I'll also go for unattractive genitalia. As opposed to attractive genitalia.

TBH I was thinking female, but reckoned not to be too sexist about my petty annoyance.

Just eat with your fingers pictonroad, saves on two trips and on washing up. Wipe your fingers on the curtains.

What, and risk getting curry on his bellend after late night sex on the sofa?

FFS

Hee hee, been laughing at all these annoyances.
Use of "get" as in "Can I get a cappuccino" annoys me!

people with seemingly no idea that an umbrella is considerably wider than their pea-brained head and has sharp pointy bits on it at my eye height you **** * of a * *.
****s

That's a good one vickypea. Especially annoying when there is no please attached in there anywhere. It's one of the reasons I couldn't work in a cafe or bar. I would correct people and get sacked very quickly.

South Eastern trains for having the heating on from September through to May every year.

Film posters - when the posters show the characters of the film, why are their names never in the correct order as per the picture?

People who queue in the petrol station to use the pump the same side as the filler cap, how difficult is it to lift the hose around the back of the car?

Business buzzwords and nonsense - mission critical, key stakeholders, I could go on..

I'll also go for unattractive genitalia. As opposed to attractive genitalia.

TBH I was thinking female, but reckoned not to be too sexist about my petty annoyance.

Maybe beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but I've never seen such a thing. I've been lucky enough to see a number first hand, and I've never yet happened across one that looked, smelled or tasted bad, despite what its owner thought.

Unless diseased or otherwise 'broken' I'd hazard that female bits are almost universally pretty, as opposed to the "last chicken in Sainsbury's" that the blokes got lumbered with.

Can't be arsed reading it all so someone may have said it already.

People sitting at traffic lights with their foot on the brake when it's dark. Use the bloody handbrake you incompetent wazzocks, that's what it for! I don't want to sit here blinded by your brake lights for however long it takes these lights to go green. That and people driving with front fogs on, usually Nissan Jukes, usually white.

People who queue in the petrol station to use the pump the same side as the filler cap, how difficult is it to lift the hose around the back of the car?

People filling from the wrong side is actually one of my pet hates. It always seems to happen in the lanes where it's barely wide enough for 2 cars to sit side by side.

I've had to queue before because the women to my left was blocking my lane with her fat arse.

Those prompts on websites banging on about their cookies policy.

The fact that European and Asian cars have the indicators/wiper levers on different sides. Super ****ing annoying if you rent cars often.

As has been mentioned - people with two cars that buy NEW houses/flats that only have one parking space. Property developers are taking the p*ss, stop buying them!

People with no spacial awareness

Pretentious "new" terms for things for which there is already a perfectly good word:
"Space" (a room)
"Fragrance" (perfume, or "smell")
"pre-loved" (second hand. Somebody actually said that non-ironically in a shop the other day - I had to leave).

Oh.... and the incredibly insincere: "sorry for any inconvenience caused"

Bufty, maybe your annoyance should be directed at fat arses? Mine was yesterday on the train. The woman across the aisle had a massive arse that partly blocked the gangway. So everyone walking through the carriage had to dodge it and ended up bumping into me.

People who are habitually late.

It's rude.

Mr P, I think that you and I are the same person. Or something.

"People with no spacial awareness" - do you mean no awareness of others' personal space (couldn't agree more) or no spatial intelligence (for instance I cannot for the life of me see how to fit together some pieces of wood and what they will look like)? It annoys me and possibly Mrs O but I can't see it annoys anyone else......

Must - not - keep - adding - to - this - thread!!!!!!

Smokers

"People with no spacial awareness" - do you mean no awareness of others' personal space (couldn't agree more) or no spatial intelligence (for instance I cannot for the life of me see how to fit together some pieces of wood and what they will look like)? It annoys me and possibly Mrs O but I can't see it annoys anyone else......

No, I mean people that don't have any awareness of what is going on around them.... the sort of people that will march out of a shop onto a busy pavement without noticing that everyone else is having to swerve and dodge them to avoid bundling them to the floor. It difficult to explain, but most people are aware of their proximity to objects/people..... but THESE ****ers aren't

Must - not - keep - adding - to - this - thread!!!!!!

Smokers

Fatties

Do the hoses on petrol pumps really extend all the way round to the other side of the car? Genuinely didn't realise this.

batfink - fully agreed.

bufty - Member

People filling from the wrong side is actually one of my pet hates.

What's the "wrong side?" Most cars have their fillers on the right, 50% of pumps are on the left...

Noisy eaters, I work in an open plan office and there is a guy who sits on the other wide of the office to me but I still have to leave when he eats his daily packet of walkers or I will kill him.

How can that much noise come from 1 packet of crisps?

Oh and clutter, wanting to use the microwave and having to move 7 things out the way just to get the door open

People who whistle in public. You might think it makes you seem like a jolly old cove as you trill away in the supermarket, but it actually makes me want to embed a potato in your face.

The fact that BT Sport have employed Michael Owen to do their Premiership Commentaries. He's bloody awful. No matter whats going on on the pitch, all I can think about is; 'Jesus christ! This is like listening to Marvin the paranoid android read a telephone directory

"quiet areas" these things in open plan offices that encourage deep thinking and intense working where piece and quiet encourage concentration... No not them specifically... Noooo it's the twonks that sit in them almost shouting down thier mobile phone disturbing all around who are actually trying to work.
Go
Get
Another
Desk
With
A
Phone
On
It
🙄

Parking in the middle of a space big enough for two cars. Ooooh.

Parents who continually park on the access road to my daughter's school, despite the repeated requests from the head teacher for them to not park there. It annoyed me so much this morning I have photographed all of them and sent A4 pictures to the head teacher in the post.

Greedy shallow people obsessed with money and stuff.

People who leave their motor running at the level crossing, which they know takes about five minutes normally.

Planet-raping ****s.

Do the hoses on petrol pumps really extend all the way round to the other side of the car? Genuinely didn't realise this.

Just about. It was a bit of a squeeze on the Mondeo, but if you drive a Fiat 500 you'll be fine.

Buffoons who drive with their fog lights on when it's not foggy.
Asshats.

Do the hoses on petrol pumps really extend all the way round to the other side of the car? Genuinely didn't realise this.

Some are a bit better than others, but most will stretch.

😆 I'm lying on my deathbed* reading this and it's really cheered me up.

Up until now I thought I was really tense and intolerant. I'm now beginning to realise I may be one of the UK's most chilled people 😯

I do agree about all the parking stuff though.

*this might be a slight exaggeration

usually Nissan Jukes, usually white.

I think they only come in white.

Work colleagues who don't make eye contact with you when they pass in the corridor/office, just so fn rude!

Strange-looking work colleagues who insist on making eye contact with you, even though you are socially awkward and it makes you feel uncomfortable... 🙂

The sound of someone whispering. A woman was doing it on the train last night and it took every ounce of self control to stop myself going over to her and smashing her face repeatedly into the seat back in front of her.

People that hold meetings across corridors/pavements...
People that decide to wait at the narrowest point of a pavement, effectively blocking it...

I'll second those hideous Nissan juke headlights. It should be legal to take a hammer to them at traffic lights

Why does every bottle of shampoo, soap, etc describe itself as being made with "aqua". Why not water?

I think I know why - because some marketing-speak arse thinks it sounds more exotic - but they're wrong. All it does is annoy people.

TfL

And prices that end in -99, eg £4.99. Do they really think people are stupid enough to think that it only costs £4 and not £5?

People "curating" things. YOU'RE NOT A MUSEUM.

I'll just curate a collection of slaps to your face shall I?

My mrs opening any kind of packet, destroys it so that half the contents end up on the floor or fall out as soon as you touch it

Gambling adverts.

Specifically, the one with the grey, miserable couple who look like a pair of unwashed alcoholics.

And those 118 inserts during films on ITV4.

When your fingernail gets a tiny little split that catches on every piece of clothing you touch until you manage to cut it.

Grossly overweight people using those free mobility scooters in supermarkets!

Walk a bit, it might do you some good.

People "curating" things. YOU'RE NOT A MUSEUM.

I'll just curate a collection of slaps to your face shall I?

Hilarious.

For me it's middle lane drivers. OK it's white van drivers. OK it's all drivers.

And prices that end in -99, eg £4.99. Do they really think people are stupid enough to think that it only costs £4 and not £5?

My housemate always quotes the exact price of things, so if hes sees a good offer he will say 'Wow (he's says that alot too, regardless if the situation warrants it), that is reduced to four pounds ninety nine pence!' As opposed to 'four ninety nine' or how I imagine every one else says it. 'A fiver'

First to the wall....

On a similar theme, ads (usually for furniture or computers) where they try to make the price sound not like a price by just saying the digits. eg; "This leather sofa is now only six-nine-nine". Stop it.

I'm not sure if this counts as petty but,

Nonsensical marketing lies with meaningless statistics.

For instance, I heard an advert for some diet plan on TV the other day that proclaimed "lose up to eight pounds in a month." People hear that and think "wow, eight pounds a month!" but that's [i]not what they're promising.[/i] They're saying that, best case scenario, you might lose eight pounds but no more, you could lose less, you might not lose any at all.

Sales boast "up to 50% off!" So at most, you'll only ever save 50%. They could sell a £1 bar of chocolate for 50p and have the rest of the store at full price or 10% sale price, and you'd still be saving "up to" 50%.

LIES!

Cougar's post can help in the fight against boredom.

For instance, I heard an advert for some diet plan on TV the other day that proclaimed "lose up to eight pounds in a month." People hear that and think "wow, eight pounds a month!" but that's not what they're promising. They're saying that, best case scenario, you might lose eight pounds but no more, you could lose less, you might not lose any at all.

My above mentioned house mate is using that very plan! He's lost more than 8lbs. Though he was 19st to start with.

He should sue them for false advertising.

There's been a lot of research into sales marketing language - my favourite was the JC Penny case -

Instead of saying "But one get one free" or "up to %50 off" they just cut the prices of everything to be lower and transparent. They told their customers this extensively, that instead of having sales and 50% deals, they were just lowering prices permanently.

however it flopped massively, and their sales hit rock bottom. So they abandoned this and went back to the usual "buy one get one free sales" and their sales have began to turn but are still suffering from the setback.

Customers outright preferred being lied too and have prices inflated to give the impression of savings, than have clear, transparent, low pricing. Even when they knew they were being manipulated.

Customers outright preferred being lied too

SALE ENDS TOMORROW!

(New sale starts next week)

the BMW tagline 'Intelligent thinking'. RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

2 things today

Thing 1: biscuits that look like the are soft and chewy so you buy one but it turns out to be crunchy and crumbly

Thing 2 when your not getting any. Why is it the only thing you can think about?

Vouchers.

You receive them from company X (usually unsolicited) and you just KNOW the reaction you'll get that when you present them for redemption, which, we must remember, is what they want you to do. The person on the till gives you a look as if you've presented them with a moist turd.

Step forward BP this morning. They had everyone behind the till to come and tut at the imbecile daring to use the voucher THEY sent ME.

I

Drivers who do 40 mph everywhere, regardless of whether the speed limit is 30 or 60!

Yellow cars. All yellow cars. What a waste.

Forgetting to apply the 10% discount code for an online order i placed yesterday.

Drivers who do 40 mph everywhere, regardless of whether the speed limit is 30 or 60!

I hate monospeeders almost, but not quite, as much as I hate middle lane drivers.

When people say "I could care less" when *clearly* they mean "couldn't".

That really grinds my gears!

Impropper use of refliexive pronouns.

"Allow myself to check that for yourself on the computer..." God only knows how I've so far managed to not thump anyone for that yet!

People who sit in the middle or outside lane for no good reason.

Welsh people.

Vegans.

When I was 18 I worked in a pub. I found it quite annoying when, on a busy night, people thought that waving a £20 note under your nose, like you're some sort of poll dancer would somehow make them get served faster, irrespective of where they were in the queue.

I couldn't agree more. I worked in and managed a bar / club for a few years. Whenever it was done to me, I'd say thank you, take the money and serve other people for a while. Depending on their response, I'd eventually serve them or hand back the money and then serve someone else. Barman, listener, advice-giver, teacher.

Ooooh, that reminds me; blue drinks. Drives me bloomin' insane. Anyone who orders / makes / drinks a beverage with blue curacao in it should be firmly slapped. It's not the 70s or 80s you Del-boy-twunt.

Fat people with bad legs. You see fat people walking using a cane in supermarkets and the like, if I had bad legs I think a sensible thing to do would be to lose some weight so those struggling sore legs don't have so much to carry about.

My obese father in law when he 'flops' into 'my' seat on the sofa, coz it's the best seat to watch the tele. Everytime they're due to come over I think I'll ask dead polite for him to just sit down gently, but he might go in a huff so I keep the peace and say nothing but cringe when it happens waiting for the springs to go 'baDoooinggg' as they break.

Use of "get" as in "Can I get a cappuccino" annoys me!

Usually uttered by an American, or by someone pretending to be an American by being horribly rude. I think the stock response is "no, you sit down, I'll get it for you"

Anyone who "rocks up", has "rocked up", or is in the process of "rocking up".

Anyone who "rocks up", has "rocked up", or is in the process of "rocking up".

Time to sell the Genesis 8)

[img] [/img]

[i]My housemate always quotes the exact price of things, so if hes sees a good offer he will say 'Wow (he's says that alot too, regardless if the situation warrants it), that is reduced to four pounds ninety nine pence!' As opposed to 'four ninety nine' or how I imagine every one else says it. 'A fiver'

First to the wall.... [/i]

Almost as annoying as people who think "alot" is one word.

Cougar - Moderator
I hate monospeeders almost, but not quite, as much as I hate middle lane drivers.

When people say "I could care less" when *clearly* they mean "couldn't".

That really grinds my gears!

Americanism. Along with...

"Most always" instead of "almost always".
"Reached out to..."
"Touched base with..."

Screw it. Just add Americans to the list.

People having "look at me" conversations on their mobile phone in otherwise silent train carriages.

Die.

"So I turned around and said...then he turned around and said...then she turned around..."

Stop it, ffs...you're making me dizzy. Did you [i]really[/i] turn around? You did a 360 degree spin while having a conversation? You're a ****!

People who "fink"...you clearly [i]don't[/i] [b]think[/b]. How can you blunder through life, continually hearing the word pronounced correctly and not modify your behaviour? It's because you're an imbecile, content to wallow in your own knuckle-dragging-thuckwittery.

Chimdey instead of chimney, you retarned twad.

Almost as annoying as people who think "alot" is one word.

The annoying thing is, that annoys me too, I just didn't notice the typo.

😳

People who "fink"...you clearly don't think

They don't know nuffink.

Anyone who "rocks up", has "rocked up", or is in the process of "rocking up".

What do you think it should be "swapped out" for?

😉

What do you think it should be "swapped out" for?

I'm sure a suitable phrase could be murdered in.