How are these publications still going? Who the hell buys them?
What were you 'ahem' doing when you thought of this?
[i]Who the hell buys them? [/i]
Not Ian;
1982 I believe.
Was tempted by a copy of "Fighting Girls Monthly" in about '98 but it was about £7.
A lot of places have stuck the shooting mags on the top shelf.. WH Smiths wouldnt sell any fieldsports mags to under 14s recently.
So i was pondering why they had to be up there with the grot, and who buys them these days.
About 15 years ago I lived above the Adult Mag Exchange shop in Sheffield.
I'll write that again... Adult. Magazine. [i]Exchange[/i]!!
Lot of trench coats and dark glasses seemed to pass in and out of it's rear entrance.
doesn't the Jazz Mag Fairy buy them all, then liberally distribute them among the bushes and hedgerows of the country? to delight inquisitive young minds?
In the age of the internet, jazz mags must be for those who don't understand computers. These people still exist, but their numbers are depleting.
Perhaps they also sell to those with no hobby. Scanning a magazine rack most would find something of interest, be it cars, bikes, flower arranging or whatever. If you really have no interest in any kind of hobby, chances are you still like to shake hands with the governor of love. The top shelf is for you.
Who the hell buys them?
people who've developed a fetishistic attachment to the staples and the smell of fresh ink 🙂
In the age of the internet, jazz mags must be for those who don't understand computers. These people still exist, but their numbers are depleting.
whether you understand computers or not access to the internet isn't a given
chances are you still like to shake hands with the governor of love
😆
Perhaps people buy copies of Asian, Big Jug Milfy Readers Wives to hide their copy of Nuts in, so sparing embarrassment while reading it on the bus
Jamie Cullum's Jazz Mags on the John Holmes 😀
One of my stag dares was to purchase one. My best man actually complained to the teenage cashier that he had got the price wrong, I pointed out that it said over 50 and it didn't refer to the price 😯
Girl on the Tube the other day was reading Fifty Shades of Grey. Yet when I took out my copy of Razzle, I was the one getting disapproving looks.
A crescent w k is a bit trickier with the internet
[img] http://s1.reutersmedia.net/resources/r/?m=02&d=20120920&t=2&i=654894098&w=&fh=&fw=&ll=700&pl=300&r=CBRE88J0SLL00 [/img]
Every. Single. Bike. Road. Trip.
🙂
All of us have to provide some gentertainment on a road trip. the first night of a weekend is spent drinking (waaaaay too much!) and perusing the rhythm pamphlets.
The last night of a weekend is spent driving home and "redistributing" the stash. Creating a little byway bongo, hedgepron and footpath filth for a new generation to discover.
🙂
The last night of a weekend is spent driving home and "redistributing" the stash. Creating a little byway bongo, hedgepron and footpath filth for a new generation to discover.
Grooming, in other words.
A crescent w k is a bit trickier with the internet
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😆
It's hardly "grooming" if it's just left in a hedgerow for someone to discover! 🙂
Leaving your phone number on it, though.....
Leaving your phone number on it, though.....
You put Greatape's phone no on it? You swine!
And his home address, of course.
Last year I was sat outside my flat in Bristol and a slightly dodgy looking guy walks past and leaves something on top of a wheelie bin. He was in his 50/60s and Indian/Pankistani appearance but was wearing those trendy jeans with the white paint logo on and other clothes that you would expect to see on someone 18-25ish and just didn't look right. I got out and looked at what he had put on the bin and it was a gay pron mag open on what I am guessing was a guy who he liked the most.
I was trying to work out how to put it in the bin without touching it when my dad turned up and did it for me. I made him wash his hands before he touched anything! I don't know if it was a one-off or he does it a lot.
CaptainFlashheart - Member
...the first night of a weekend is spent drinking (waaaaay too much!)
I knew it, you post-it note guys are CRAAAAAAZY!
Of course, the problem with hedgerow pron was always that they were in terrible condition by the time you got it.
I learned my lesson young, so all my Frankie gets fabloned immediately after purchase 8)
all my Frankie gets fabloned
I'm usually home with the downies when it comes to slang, but I'm going to need a translation for that one I'm afraid.
Fabloned LOL. Took me back to my JNCO cadre.
Do you produce crib cards too? 😀
Oh, for heavens sake -
Frankie: Frankie Vaughan - rhymering slang...
Fablon: See through plastic coating that you use on maps etc, that makes them, erm, wipe clean 😉
Wrecker - nah, but those A5 sized magazines from certain continental european specialist retailers (rodox and color climax, that should bring back a few memories/twitches/sweaty palms for some on here) were just the right size for a map pocket or ressie bag 😈
04/08/12
I think you'll find the correct term for such publications is [i]art pamphlets[/i]
Frankie: Frankie Vaughan - rhymering slang...
Ah, sorry, I'm Northern.
Wrecker - nah, but those A5 sized magazines from certain continental european specialist retailers (rodox and color climax, that should bring back a few memories for some on here) were just the right size for a map pocket or ressie bag
Sentry duty always went quicker when alone 😀
we bought some last year when driving through holland somewhere near leuwaarden
we took it back to the office and snuck it into the project managers rig bag......as he was due to fly home that night
cue an irate phone call to us later that night when his mrs was putting his washing in the machine .....
good times !
In the early nineties when I was a teenager, back when the Forestry Commission was still an organisation of men with chainsaws rather than laptops, I spent a good few shifts up atop fire towers in a certain forest in Northern England
I swear the stack of porn in one of those towers was over four feet high 😀
We've 'found' a proper perv hangout on Canock Chase, specialist reading amaterial, underwear & stockings hung in trees, a nice sitting area, discarded tissues etc- all with a secluded little path heading to it. We thought it was cheeky trail, it turned out to be a bit more than that.
rhythm pamphlets
been laughing for a good 5 min at that one. 😆
They'll probably continue to sell until all articulated lorries have got internet access.
Oh, and sometime in the mid or late 90s I guess.
A good decade since I bought some grot - but we put it to good use: secretly sellotaped it all over a mate's windows, behind his blinds, before going off for a lads weekend.
Mate returned to find irate notes from the other flats that looked onto his windows 😀
secretly sellotaped it all over a mate's windows, behind his blinds, before going off for a lads weekend.
That, sir, is inspired. 🙂
I had a conversation with my 14 year old stepsons recently about why thy spend so much time in front of a PS3 playing CoD, when they could be out on their bikes (expensive, I might add) looking for hedgepron like normal teenagers did when I was a kid.
They didn't reply, on just waved his mobile phone in my direction and said words to the effect of "Got all the grumble I want on here innit!".
Sad times.
I'm laughing and slightly sick at the same time
Noting all the pervs...lol
These days of course...
A lad I lived with at uni used to call in to the 24 hour garage on the way back from the pub, then stand at the little hatch thing, and get the poor little Asian guy working there to flick through the spaff mags, holding them up to the window, so he could make his selection, before continuing his journey home to rough up the prime suspect.
Our airing cupboard was full of them
rough up the prime suspect
😆
A mate of mine was stopped by customs on returning from Amsterdam.
I'm not sure which discovery embarrassed him the most, the clutch of hard core pron or the undies he'd coughed a smelly malteser into whilst totally pie eyed. The malteser fell out onto the customers counter and rolled a bit.
When I was a teenager, I acquired regular donations of pron from a substation at the end of our street.
Derek Starship to the forum... oh, you are already here.
"a mate of mine" 😆
This thread is only going to get worse 😆
I don't understand why you all get shy about it, doesn't every bloke look at porn? Bloke I live with has porn hub as his homepage, the minger. LOL
I was always far too embarrassed to actually purchase any myself...but my mate was the opposite and would make a weekly trip to the local newsagents regardless of whether his daughter was serving (oh the shame).
Our corner shop still has at least 2 shelves devoted to pron so business must be ok??
years ago I was in hospital for an eye opp and the only other people in the ward were cataract patients all over 70. Same mate visited and the little swine left about a dozen jazzers in the quite room.
I do know a few girls who are partial to the odd "flogging on" session. Bizarrely, an ostensibly straight lady pall of mine loves watching lesbian pron.
I don't understand why you all get shy about it
Dunno.. probably cos women tend to say things like:
I'm laughing and slightly sick at the same timeNoting all the pervs
😆
Anyone ever stayed in the log cabins above the Wall at Afan? Bryn Bettws?
Did you happen to look in the pile of old magazines?
We may accidentally have left some gentertainment in there...!
Have done the same in all manner of B&B/Pub/Bunkhouse magazine piles! Slip a nice bit of bongo in between the others....Lovely!
My brother and a mate were walking home along a canal footpath late one night in Glasgow. It was soo cold that the canal had frozen over. Just where the canal went under a bridge there was a bag sat on the ice in the middle of the canal. Someone must have dumped the bag over the bridge not realising that the canal had frozen over. So they find a long branch and manage to pull the bag to the path. It was full of the highest grade grot.
The following day they split the contents and went their separate ways. My brother (single at the time) worked from home and found the contents of the bag to be just too evil a force to have in the house. He decided to get rid of it. But how? Recycling bin - no. So he decided to burn it in his garden. Magazines don't burn very well and have a tendency to break up and bits to get caught in the fire's thermals. He also found out that stamping on the burning magazines just made the problem worst. Now at the time he rented a cottage in the grounds of a National Trust castle.
So the smouldering chard bits of mag showing various lady flange and man sausage floated off towards the National Trust car park....
I was always far too embarrassed to actually purchase any myself...but my mate was the opposite and would make a weekly trip to the local newsagents regardless of whether his daughter was serving (oh the shame).
NO,NO,NO!!!!!
My brother (single at the time) worked from home and found the contents of the bag to be just too evil a force to have in the house.
😆
Stayed in a Travel lodge or similar type cheap hotel with a few mates years ago. When we pulled out the sofa to make it into the 3rd bed we found a carrier bag full of skin mags. As appealing as the 3D pron mag (complete with 3D glasses) was, I think we just put it back where we found it.
Is it just me, or does anybody else not [i]quite[/i] remember what happened to their stash?
Moving house soon and starting to get nervous about what might be uncovered.
Is it just me, or does anybody else not quite remember what happened to their stash?Moving house soon and starting to get nervous about what might be uncovered.
RETRO-GRUMBLE!
Like seeing a long lost friend again...!
chakaping - MemberIs it just me, or does anybody else not quite remember what happened to their stash?
Moving house soon and starting to get nervous about what might be uncovered.
Don't leave it in a suitcase that you subsequently lend to your mother in laws next door neighbour. 😳
Never bought the stuff, never felt the need to. Found some in the bushes on a ride near Fareham once, left it there.
Used to go surfing with a mate who'd bring along a few mags for entertainment, some were quite explicit too, always left it to me to clear the van out after the weekends, used to chuck em away, gawd knows what the bin men used to think.
Can honestly say I don't find it that entertaining.
Hey ho.
About 6 years ago - NEVER again.
It was on a Service Area and I used to drive there specificlly with only the one purchese in mind.
Walked in, the cashier was a spotty teenage lad so no embarresment when putting the Mag through.
As I walked upto the Checkout, a young girl suddenly appeared at the checkout and I had to give the Mag to her to pay. Bad enough as she looked at me with that "i know what youre doing in a bit" look but the mag somehow "crashed" the till when she scanned it meaning she had to get a supervisor to come and reset everything.
Should have just legged it because by now there was a queue behind me and Im sure they crashed the till deliberatley.
Like seeing a long lost friend again...!
Used to be nice to catch up with some "old flames" after having circulated mags among mates. I think the internet generation are missing out on this communal aspect of jazz-sharing.
Don't leave it in a suitcase that you subsequently lend to your mother in laws next door neighbour.
Haha, pretty sure I invested it in a hedge fund - so to speak - but don't [i]actually[/i] remember doing it.
I haven't bought any since the internet, and before that the bushes and hedgerows provided all my requirements.
Many years ago was the last time I bought one. It was piggin cold day and in a act of bravado (or an attempt to justify myself) I said to the woman serving me, "that'll help me warm up when I get home".
I got a laugh out of her.
Binners - I didn't live with you at uni did I? Visit to the Jet garage on the way back from town for a Ginsters pasty and a copy of their finest grot mag was pretty much a tradition when I wasn't going back to the then GFs house!
I think that was probably the last time for me. So about 14 years ago.
Lot's of grot mag stories.
A mate at uni had a bet with another to see who could accumulate £100 of paper pron the quickest. Never understood it as I think it would've cost less to just lose the bet. The funniest thing was when he got his first girlfriend at uni and decided he should get rid of his stash. Instead of sharing it out he went to the big bins (we were in halls) and just dumped them all. On finding out a few of us were disgusted at how unsustainable he was so went and had a look for them - to no avail.
-----
One of my summer jobs was as a drivers mate for White Arrow delivery company. Delivering bigger stuff like washing machines, fridges, wardrobes etc... ordered through Littlewoods/Kays catalogues. The depot I worked out of used to get the lorries brought up from the distribution centre overnight full of that days deliveries. We'd collect the lorry in the morning to deliver, drop it back off at the end of the day empty. We'd end up with different lorries most days. But one we used to end up with every few days had a massive stash of grot under the passenger seat and what can only be described as a filth viewing platform - a wooden board with photos cut out and stuck on to it. The overnight driver of that lorry must have has a busy night!
Binners - I didn't live with you at uni did I?
Possibly? If it was your birthday or a suitable special occasion, did you up the ante a bit on the post-pub stroll home, and 'treat yourself' in the knocking shop down the road?
I used to hide a brace of gentlemen's monthlies on my briefcase.
One night, I left my briefcase behind on the car park and only realised when I got home what a potential catastrophe had occurred.
I picked the case up from the security lodge the next day. I was pleased to note that I'd spun round the wheels of the combination locks. I was safe.
Binners - No never been into one of those establishments.
I actually don't remember asking the guy serving at the garage to thumb through a mag beforehand either!
photos cut out and stuck on to it.
"stuck"?
hammerite - the guy I lived with was obsessed. He used to have virtually 24 hour background mucky, grainy VHS videos on, in the same way some housewives listen to Radio 2 while doing the ironing.
Not seen him for years. Since the advent of internet grot, I assume he hasn't left the house
My older brother had an extensive collection...when he went to Uni I took it to school and opened a library from a locker we had appropriated. It was £1 for an overnight rental...a few weeks later we sold our entire stock to our best customer.
Not seen him for years. Since the advent of internet grot, I assume he hasn't left the house
Like when Quagmire discovered internet porn.
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Just the other day I was dropping some paper off at the recycling bin in Waitrose car park. The lid on the bin was bust so opened the whole thing. To my amazement the entire thing was 1/2 full of crisp Gents reading. Imagine my dismay when, after my blanking everything except the reliving of a long forgotten pleasure, I realised my Wife and MiL were in the car waiting. Had I been 13, my mates and I would have feasted on that for months.
Remember, you need a p*rn buddy
(One of those links must work)
Bump
secretly sellotaped it all over a mate's windows, behind his blinds, before going off for a lads weekend.
did this to a house mate back in student days whilst he was collecting his (annoyingly stuck-up) girlfriend from train station. Stuck pics everywhere; inside cupboard and wardrobe doors, lined his drawers, under his pillow...
Gosh how they laughed 😛
Stuck pics everywhere; inside cupboard and wardrobe doors, lined his drawers, under his pillow...
Funnily enough we did exactly that to the same bloke on his 21st birthday at uni.
Photocopied a hundred copies of a photo of him doing a handstand naked and then pasted them all round his flat with wallpaper paste, including inside cupboards, behind the fridge etc etc 😀
Then when he passed out drunk later that night we shaved one leg and spray painted the other fluoro orange.
To be honest I'm not sure why he is still friends with me 😀
We plastered the rear of a van parked in front in the tunnel après a summer Morzine trip in 2005ish. So sorry to the fella in the van. No idea how far he got until he realised the rear doors were a smorgasbord of porn and gaffer tape.
My GF torched my childhood stash from 'men only' - I remember that was the first, to the top of the range Hustlers of the latter years.
A copy of Penthouse with Madonna featured in black and white. When going through some old motor mags I hoped it might be in the pile but alas, no.
Edit: all is not lost. Googling "penthouse Madonna" brings up a copy of the feature on some Frog's blog and even a site dedicated to that edition.
A friend of mine once moved into a rented house that had a filing cabinet in the box room. Said cabinet contained the finest collection of printed filth in all of Christendom.
I'm not suggesting that the room had hosted some extensive "reading", but you could have slammed the curtains.
i used to have a small cabinet full of scud books back in my teenage years. sold it to a mate after a few years.
Biking road trips back in the day always involved the purchasing of copious quantities of grot, we would always stop at the bp garage in Jedburgh on the way up to glentress, which would invariably be left in full display on the parcel shelf/dashboard while out actually cycling.
I used to routinely donate my mags to hedgeporn after the trips.
I think the last one of those trips was 2008!
❗scud books
A small bubble of snot has come out of my nose.