[Closed] One of those 'wtf am I doing days'

Do something else if you can 🙂

I think you're right.

Ask yourself what have you done so far in this life.

p/s: sorry about your friends. (deleted that just now)

Our life is but the blink of an eye. Yes you could spend the time with your children and not in work but then you'd have no money. It's a capitalist conundrum.

Anyone else have moments when they just think that life is too short and precious to fanny around doing things they frankly hate ?

This is why I changed careers, never looked back!! 🙂

Yup, had all exactly the same thoughts similar circumstances. Took redundancy the next time it was offered. Massively happier now.

Life is too short to spend your days with people who say "leveraging synergy".

Yep same here. Quit my job in May and haven't looked back.
Should have done it years ago.

With you on this. It's working out what else you can do that is the problem.

Sorry for your loss.

Kennyp- do you work for me ?

lol at "leveraging synergy"

I don't get any of that BS any more 🙂

"Auto-Suggest" was a favourite of mine.

Project manager **** type...."Are you Auto suggesting...blah blah"

Bullshit Bingo was fun though 🙂

My wife has just started to work in NHS Management and told me, when we were discussing whatever it was that I had forgotten to do, that I needed to 'step up and own the issue' 😯

I took a year off in 2002, realised that I was no poorer a year later and haven't worked for money since. Still another 10 years or more to official retirement age but I don't feel the need or desire to work, the day I do I'll work, if not... .

Wish I could give up work or work reduced hours but kids and mortgage mean I will have to suck it up until I am 59.
I envy those who can give up work early. The only hope I have is for a rich relative to will me some cash 🙂

Sorry to hear about your mates & I know how you feel.
I've been part time since September & am £400 a month worse off but I couldn't give a shite, I'm pleased to be only there 1/2 as much as I was.

Money is not everything.

Do something else if you can

Work out whats important, plan the change if you need to make adjustments (you cant just walk out of a mortgage tomorrow if you like with your family in the house..well you could, but I dont recommend it from experience) then make it happen.

My dad did the very same when I was 18. Left his high paid job and bummed around the Med. He reckons it probably saved his sanity....others reckon he was a self centered tool. Either way it was his choice, his life etc... I dont see that it made him happy, he would still like the cash to do what I can now do, but thats part of his sacrifice.

I like my work. Its bloody hard, infuriating and frustrating. But I have no intention of retiring, each to their own though. If I hated my job I would be out in a flash.....
Jas

I can sympathise with those in an economic trap but I'm pretty sure you aren't NZCol. If financial constraints aren't forcing you to work the "why" is easy to answer.

I need to do something else. I just don't know what else to do. Which is equally frustrating, maybe more.

Used to love what I do., can't stand it at present. I find myself asking is this it now?

At age 49 I was offered the chance for early retirement aged 50. I had 48 hrs to decide and, with the support of my wife, took the opportunity. Folk will tell you we are "lucky" but we'd avoided up sizing house and mortgage when everyone else seemed to be, we had no other debt and as a result of being a bit canny had a bit of savings. I've also picked up new skills and a whole new part-time career.

I'm not suggesting it's that simple for everyone but making, and carrying out, some long term plans could put you in a better place to be able to wave goodbye to things you don't want to do. That "cost of kids" thread has some really good examples of where folk spend money that might better be saved for an early escape 🙂

Anyone else have moments when they just think that life is too short and precious to fanny around doing things they frankly hate ?

when I was 28, yes. For the last 13yrs Ive lived more greatly attached to the tenet that time is priceless and have been v happy.

Do it. 7 years ago I left a career in IT Management.

Needed something more forfilling and more time with the kids.

Work in a domestic violence team now. Crap money at first but it enables me to actually see my kids more than just early morning/bedtime. After some progression the money is getting better and the feeling of doing a job which actually means something is priceless.

About 6 years ago Mrs BigJohn said to me, when I wasn't enjoying what my work was giving me, "Find something you like doing, and are good at. If you get paid at the end of the week, that's a bonus". I took her advice and it worked out.

Last week, she found herself in the same place and I reminded her what she said. "It's not easy to take your own advice" she told me.

CountZero - Member
Thanks to STW, and an advert that popped up at the bottom following my google searches, I've now got a job picking up and delivering cars right across the UK, as part of a small team, and really enjoying it, there's just no stress involved any more.

Good call. That sounds interesting. 😛

Take a long hard look in the mirror, see that glint in your eye ?

That's a human in there wishing to get out.

Enjoy.

And sad to hear about your mates ..

We all get a lifetime.

What you do with it is down to you.

There should have been an image of Gaiman's Death in there but the forum tweak has done for that.

Kennyp- do you work for me ?Kennyp- do you work for me ?

Not sure. Do you also use nouns as verbs, and vice versa???

🙂

 

Bullshit Bingo was fun though

We sometimes ran a sweep on how many times the phrase "going forward" would be used in a presentation.

Yeah well I have choices, I know that. Thanks all, it's a sad day for me, two great people lost to the world. I managed to get home in time for a belated snuggle and story with my little girl. Makes my day that does but I know there is more to life than this so change will happen.

That's what drove me to make a change, my little ones. Dropped my eldest off at school every single morning since.
Brought a good tent instead of needless holidays abroad.

I lost a mate in sad circumstances in late 2015 and, in 2016, another suffered major brain damage following a catastrophic outcome from routine surgery. Both were 34 and the latter has kids of 8 & 10, wife, mortgage etc.

While I haven't done anything radical yet, it does make me evaluate my life on a pretty much daily basis and appreciate what I've got.

I'm happy in my job, but wouldn't hang around in misery or stress. I greatly value the time I have with my kids and prioritise my family, which has led to some tension at work.

We also bought a campervan last autumn, which my wife's been badgering for us to do for 10 years. I'm looking forward to lots of time on the bikes with kids this year. 🙂

I also try to support my mate's widow by keeping in touch and by visiting my friend who is currently in neuro rehab (looks like he's going home in late February).

We aren't exactly flash so a tent holiday for us is bliss ! We are actually going on our first proper family ski holiday soon and agonised about spending that amount ! My wife gets it. Time is scarce and this has really shit me up, that's my 5th friend now all younger than me (42). Bugger this. Thanks all, having a dram as that's what one of them was into when we both worked together in the ski industry.

I was hating my job last year, really messing me up. Went part time, and even though it's still the same job, it's not stressing me as much and I have time for more stuff I actually want to do.

Although I went for the complete "take the redundancy cash and quit" option, going part time is often the best bet. A good compromise between giving yourself more time (for the important stuff) and not having to live off beans on toast seven days a week.

Today started crap so I jumped in the van and took a job 100 miles to a subby, got back with an hour of shift left, happy days!!

Sorry to hear of your pals.
I've compromised the career thing, preffering time with the kids. I've always made it quite clear to my various bosses that my family come first. I've never flown for work, plenty of willing volunteers for that. I might get up early for a call or web ex but it's an acceptable compromise to sitting around airports or faceless hotels.
How many Dads got to take their kids to nursery in a bike trailer, then on a cargo bike. We still reminisce about it now. To be fair, my employer has been spot on, I've climbed the ladder at my own pace, the value my years of commitment, & ive created a role where I have a small but brilliant team who punch well above their weight. But I'd walk tomorrow if all that changed. No question, & ive always made that clear to them.

I've learned to shut off when the leveraging of synergy starts. 😉

Anyone else have moments when they just think that life is too short and precious to fanny around doing things they frankly hate ?

Yes, but I'm comforted by the knowledge that from time to time in my job I do something that makes a difference to someone. Not every day by any means, but just about often enough that I keep going back, despite frequently wishing I didn't have to.

I left a good job that was getting me down in the UK, realise now it offered my a lot of freedom and time. Now have the time but not the cash to enjoy it as much.
In the end life is what you want and make of it. As much as jacking it all in and doing something simple that just pays the bills goes it sounds great but at the moment I'd like to have a decent pension to enjoy at the end.
On the flip side I'll be off for a very stressful but hopefully rewarding few days of work next week where at the end of each day I'll take a walk along a beach and probably swim in the ocean. Might even take the road bike if it's not going to be scorching.

For me the biggest relief is not being trapped by family and kids.

Very sorry to hear you have lost good friends NZCol.

but at the moment I'd like to have a decent pension to enjoy at the end.

If you live to get it you'll be at an age when you are incapable of enjoying many of the things you dream of doing. I had a chat with a friend about how long he intended to keep on working to guarantee a comfortable retirement including exotic travel plans, a year later he died of brain cancer. My uncle was always talking about what he was going to do in retirement, he never made it either. How many people do you know who are poor in retirement? A lot less than are under 40 and struggling I bet. Society doesn't let old people go cold or hungry, only young ones - old people vote.

I've only ever had one pension plan, an obligatory company thing. I cashed it in when I left. Oh the fun I had with a that cash, and the things I did taught me the skills to start a successful business.

Live for the moment, cross bridges when you come to them and burn them once you've crossed because life is a short one-way trip.

Sorry to hear about your mates NZCol - seriously unsettling.

Knowing what you do and where you do it you could easily go contracting for a while either work/break/work/break or 3 days a week - GDPR scrum is happening. And then you'll need another campervan.

Ha i've just sold my campervanbut yes there's lots of options. When you get to a certain age and people you know and love keel over you do tend to re-evaluate !!

Anyone else have moments when they just think that life is too short and precious to fanny around doing things they frankly hate ?

Firstly - my sympathy is with you NZCol

Anyone else have moments when they just think that life is too short and precious to fanny around doing things they frankly hate ?

Yes. After my dramatic weekend (you can view it in my forum history if you are remotely interested) I find myself prescribed beta blockers and seeking counselling for overwhelming anxiety. I'm 44 and to paraphrase, WTF.

I've had yesterday and today off sick, saw a GP yesterday and phoned my employer offered Counselling service today. Just as background I have a stressful (in my eyes anyway) US Corp Sales job, and we've had 3 family members die over the past 2 months.

I'm genuinely sitting here wondering what its all for. I do have an opportunity to emulate mike smiths para above in Barbados, but the reality is as he says, I'd swap sun and less stressful living for many other aspects of my life including direction for the kids as he says - not "trapped" in my view but certainly indisposed to their growth.

I don't hate my job either, but just feel I need to make changes to make life more bearable. Some of those I've started immediately, having coincidentally read Damon Hill autobiography recently and learned how he too became who he was in 1996 by social, media and pressure of expectation rather than being the real Damon Hill.

I'm certainly starting to re-evaluate at the moment, I've no idea where it'll end up.

I think we should all gather in a circle and hold hands !

Interesting and not too far away from my post a few minutes ago about being successful. Because I too am one who KNOWS that having the most toys at the end counts for naught, but I seem powerless to be able to make that change at this moment. So - another day at the coalface.........

Although - let's not get too empowered, if we all decide to jack it in simultaneously who's going to reboot the servers for the nation. And Audi will go out of business in a few weeks......

but at the moment I'd like to have a decent pension to enjoy at the end.

My father in law retired at 55 after a very well paid career, had great plans for retirement. Died of cancer 3 years later. My dad retired in September aged 66. In November he found out he has stage 4 oesphageal cancer.

I see my wife 3 days out of 7 as she works for "a large IT consultancy".

I am spending a fair amount of time considering if I should be doing something else with my time... a 3 or 4 day week may be possible but ideally I'd like to find the job that makes it feel like I'm doing 0.

NZCol - sorry to hear about your friends.

ads678 - Member

I need to do something else. I just don't know what else to do. Which is equally frustrating, maybe more.

This sounds like me. I keep thinking of something I'd like to do, that would really fulfil me & the only things I can think of I have no idea how to do at all.
It would require years of re-training which is possible at some point perhaps, but I don't see how at the moment with a young daughter and me as the only source of income.

NZCol, Stumpy01, ads678;

While resting and preparing mentally to go back to work tomorrow I just watched a film called The Secret, which was recommended to me yesterday. It also exists as a book. Now, there's enough content in there to have STW frothing for weeks, but there's also enough thought provocation and insight to help maybe all of us commenting in here. Essentially its about not attributing any time to negatives, but actively engaging the mind on the positives whether real or desired - no tricks, no meditation just a shift in thought process.

FWIW, I can name several instances where I have (albeit accidentally to this point) used the methods within and they have worked. It could be the best 90 mins of mine, and perhaps your futures, worth a shot maybe. Available free to watch on YouTube, I found it quite powerful.

a job picking up and delivering cars right across the UK,

Bloke delivered my new car 18 months ago said he owned a business doing this. Also sounded like he was doing alright out of it - property, holidays etc. He had to do mine because they'd messed up and not had the delivery until a day later than promised so he just did it himself. Rocked up at mine, I said "Know hwere you're going to get back?" Not really, he said... Didn't care - was just going to pay whoever whatever to get himself home (100 miles away). Dropped him off at the train station. Point is, I thought - that'd be OK for a job.

And otherwise, I've just gone down to a 4 day week to spend an extra day with my daughter (18 months). Spent last year trying to get a promotion & payrise but that would have involved 5 days, more stress. ***k that, its way more fun hanging out with my girl.

Kryton57 - Member

NZCol, Stumpy01, ads678;

While resting and preparing mentally to go back to work tomorrow I just watched a film called The Secret,

Cheers for the recommendation - I might dig that out....!

It seems there are more young folk are getting cancer these days. Someone i know has been diagnosed with a brain tumour. Can't operate so its terminal, they are young and married. Its just horrible.

It does make you sit up and think where are are going, daft things we spends our time on. Make the most of it, spend time with family and friends, speak to that person you've been meaning to.

Do not spend more time at work than you have to, you will not get thanked for it.