[Closed] On the phone, Windows have found a virus on my computer - lol

had him hanging on 17min so far!

Ask them if they support Amiga OS4.1, which is the system you're currently running 🙂

Ask him how to plug the mouse in.

Tell them your cup holder is broken and ask where to get a new one!

now counting the errors to him over the phone, up to 118 so far.....

Tell him you can't use the internet and the phone at the same time.

Ask him if he wants to see you on cam

when do I tell him we use ubuntu here 😉

ASL????

tell him to hold on as you need the loo, put phone on speaker, go flush the toilet then just don't pick the phone back up, go about what ever you were doing leaving him to wonder what the hell is going on.

"Hang on there's someone at the door" should give you five minutes.

ask him how he got into IT and whether he thinks you might stand a chance if you retrain, offer to send him your cv, ask for an e-mail addres....

Put him on to your "sister" and spend the next five minutes with a high-pitched voice. Ask him if he's single.

he now wants me to go to the logmein123 website, is this where I tell him I am not connected to the internet 😉

From experience of talking to users, it's very easy for them to mistype 'logmein' many, many times.

Ask him how to spell it, including 'onetwothree' and ask "L... O... is that O for Romeo?"

"Oh, my broither blocked that address on our router to stop me beign caught by scammers"

Tell him you can't belive window suport centre could be so helpfull, you are so gratefull they have pointed out this massive amount of error on your pc and you would like to send them coffee and cakes from there nearest Starbucks, all you need is an address to give to Starbucks for the delivery.

"Oh, my PC's just crashed... wow, you were right, give me a minute whilst I reboot... "

is that O for Romeo?"

Biggest laugh I've ever had on here 😆

29min now.....

Your closing line, incidentally, should be "oh, wait, sorry, my mistake ... I don't have a computer."

Tell him your wife's just come home and could he give you a couple of minutes. Then, stick some web porn on and just leave it playing - I guarantee he won't hang up 🙂

Ask him if it's likely you got the virus from when you downloaded 2TB of Gordon Ramsey dwarf porn the other day.

RealMan - Member

Ask him if it's likely you got the virus from when you downloaded 2TB of Gordon Ramsey dwarf porn the other day.

lol like that, will give that a spin

I let him think I was on his support web site, where he tries to get you to go.

Then I told him my laptop had frozen.

Then when advised to cycle the power I told him it was dead, no response.

Then he worriedly got his supervisor to talk to me.

Then they advised me to take it to my local hardware support people.

Then they called me back a few days later and I told them I had to buy a new laptop and the guy had put loads of AV software on it so there was no way it now had a rootkit problem - so I didn't need their help anymore.

Watching a great video of this scam [url=

When you do get the URL correct, make sure you've typed it into the search bar rather than the address bar then you get a page full of search results rather than a web page. That's always good for a couple of minutes. Insist on typing it correctly rather than following the link. Ask what the numbers were again.

aw shucks - i had them on the phone yesterday, and wish now that i'd had this for inspiration.
an indian/asian accent, from melbourne in oz, calling from 'windows'...priceless...

"Hey, what's the weather like over there in California?"

My software is running out soon, but he cannot tell me which software - lol

Gordon Ramsey dwarf porn

Went over his head, that one.....

Went over his head, that one.....

Pun intended?

I had one on for ages winding him up - ubuntu running on Mac via virtual host had him confused for a bit.

He got very abusive to me and i must say i reciprocated and then he read out all my details to me - name, telephone number, full address.

He was calling me an idiot and a retard etc - i asked him how he felt knowing that i was sleeping in my medium size house with my 2 cars and computers whilst he slept in a shanty town in Mumbai. All very childish from my part but i couldn't resist.

At that point i hung up on him.

42min now............

Hang on, let me look at this page.. erm.. "about this mac"

tell him to speak very quietly, you're part of an anti scammer black ops CIA unit about to storm a call center and you're trying to get line up your cross-hairs on the back of someones head

when he asks for your IP addess give them 198.81.129.125

you could do the childish but highly infuriating route of just repeating everything he says. 😀

If they want your IP address, give them 127.62.193.11 (or anything starting with 127).

I've taken out more than one script kiddie that way.

Cougar - Member

If they want your IP address, give them 127.62.193.11 (or anything starting with 127).

I've taken out more than one script kiddie that way.

Think he is pissed with me now, he keeps shouting at me the 6 digit code I need to enter, but for some reason I keep getting it wrong....

time to go to the loo/door/phonecall i think

sorry, sex digits? what? hold on i'm deaf in that ear, so what is this digitalis? no that can't be right, must be this ear i'm deaf in, oh wait, there's someone at the door..

sterling work, keep it up

Laugh randomly then ask him if he's seen the youtube video with the cat in it

Just when he thinks you're about to do it, cut the call mid sentence - that'll really leave him hanging 🙂

Still cannot get this 6 digit code typed in correctly into my pc, think he is nearly done in now, well I am, lunch over in 5, so need to end it with a high....

Congrats on your public service of keeping him away from people who might actually get scammed.

Ask him if you can pay him now on the phone with your credit card?

£89, I think not, trying to haggle him down a bit.....

I offered him a 'longwait' & he is still on hold..

Offer to pay £20 tops and you will get your card. I bet he goes for it and que long wait while you find the card!

Put him on hold over lunch, or forward to a 'Me so horny' line?

Tell him you can only find your credit card for your bank account in Vietnam and ask if he accepts payment in Dongs?

Its over, he hung up, on hold....

The annoying thing is, I had an elderly relative who nearly got scammed like this some time back & they were not in a position to lose £89!

Scum.

excellent effort. good on you.

a friends pregnant wife was threatened by one, saying, I know where you are, I will be round your house in 5 mins unless you agree to my services.

I wish more could be done to stop them

What was the final time?

they were not in a position to lose £89!

It's not just the up-front fees either - the PC will probably end up full of keyloggers and malware lining them up for credit card fraud, identity theft, etc etc. Make no bones about it, they're not just hustlers, they're criminals.

Cougar - Member

What was the final time?

1hour 7min, a PB for me 😉

Chapeau, sir.

Scum of the higest order. Well done on a text book execution of wasting their time.

i want them to phone me now.

so much material, so little time.

you could do the childish but highly infuriating route of just repeating everything he says.

i want them to phone me now.

so much material, so little time.

Me too, never had one of these calls.

Ski, I salute you sir!
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I really want one of these calls, but I'm not sure I could spin one out for over an hour. Magnificent effort, there should be a prize for that. I'd also like for one to threaten me. I could meet him at the door holding the Kukri my dad was given by a Gurka after the war.

Had one, told him to **** off and stop being an scamming idiot, and to give my regards to Mr Gates, to which his reply was "To who?". I nearly choked on my mobile I laughed so hard...

haha nice work. I don't have the patience to string them on for as long as that but one of them once refused to believe that Snow Leopard was a real operating system.

I get all god bothering on them or try to sell them double glazing.Hours of fun to be had.