keep posting, keep venting, keep sharing, keep riding
sorry, nothing insightful to say, just hope you guys get through it and come out the other side
So I thought I would update this one. Quite a few things happened since I initially posted. Things seemed like they have recovered for us. I have been going to see a therapist about my issues, which is extremely difficult, and I felt things would change. Unfortunately they haven't worked out. It is very much done now.
Underneath trying to keep it together I just think I'm done with life, I really do. I try to think about the stories above about how things can change and get better, but I've taken so long to get to where I thought I had everything I wanted and it has all been taken away from me. Add on to this that my work is struggling at the moment and that is adding in a lot of stress.
Just because where you thought you would be is now gone, it doesn't mean that things are not worth caring on with or that things will not get better. Change against expectations will always hurt especially if it is something you see as being exceptionally meaningful.
None of this means that new expectations won't come along and won't potentially be better than they were.
Life sucks sometimes, no getting around it, so asking for help to get through the bad times is never wrong.
Sorry to see you're still having a tough time of things, but glad that you're posting about it. Wish you all the best, keep venting whenever you feel the need.
Just spotted your reply.
For me I found therapy didn't work at all - I just ended up focusing on the problems even more but I appreciate it works for many.
I'd try and find new stuff to do - new hobby, classes, walking groups etc. Something to shift your focus elsewhere.
Not sure how you are fixed with work - but my wife took a month out in autumn of last year. Her boss was very understanding though but I know this isn't the case for everyone.
And you've managed six months. Target another six months and see where you are then.
Sorry to hear that you are still struggling, losing someone like your partner can feel like a bereavement and as cliché as that sounds it can take time, I hope it gets easier for you, thoughts & best wishes.
Not sure how you are fixed with work - but my wife took a month out in autumn of last year. Her boss was very understanding though but I know this isn't the case for everyone
I'm worried that will get looked at badly. I could maybe afford it, but don't want to dig into my savings too much. I'm about to take on rent that's much higher than the mortgage. So many things to sort out. It's hugely overwhelming.
Stcolin. Vent away. Having been somewhere similar a long time ago - it just sucks.
Practically speaking - does it affect you having a home?
We have a mortgage together. I am looking for somewhere to rent, staying in the area as I really like living here. It's tough to find a place with storage for my bikes though.
Estate agents are awful though, just getting to talk to someone is almost impossible.
I'm worried that will get looked at badly.
Your health and well being are far more important than your work and what they think of you. I've supported people working for me through what you're going through. I myself have been through what you're going through. I took time off. The world didn't end, work continued, and I came back to work and nothing was impacted in any way.
Might a flat/house share be an option? At least short term. Cheaper, and you get some company..... 🤔
I'd really like to be on my own tbh. I have some places to view, I just have to make a compromise or two. She has said she wants to sell the house rather than buy me out which is fair enough. Selling will likely take a few months at best anyway.
In general I prefer my own company too. But I've come to the conclusion it's not necessarily good for my mental health.
I used this website when I need somewhere to be in a hurry. I found a house share that was much cheaper than paying rent on a whole place.
M.SPAREROOM.CO.UK Just venting again, talking out loud. I have a therapy session in the morning, it's going to be a mess. I've really kept a lid on all this as I'm afraid I'll do something stupid if I let it all get to me.
The last few days of trying to go and view properties is just surreal. And it's very difficult. I fear I might get rejected by landlords because I'm on my own.
