[Closed] No kids at 35.

Yep. You've left it sufficiently late that your partner's friends will convince her that the route to conception will involve doctors rather than a slightly increased shagging regimen.

🙁

Just do lots of practicing on the how to make them bit so you'll be ready when the time comes..

Oh, and you'll probably end up with twins.

My wife and I are nearly 40 with no kids. If we ever changed our minds we've always said there's plenty of kids without a decent home waiting for someone to look after them and give them a decent life, hopefully we could help with that.

there's plenty of kids without a decent home

Well said.

I was 37 when my daughter was conceived. I'm glad I didn't wait much longer as I do feel like a bit of an old Dad. I'm often in the same age group as her friends grandparents.

Try no kids at 45 and was fairly ambivalent about the whole idea my wife was 35 and became very keen . I am now pushing 50 and crankbrat is pushing 4 . My life is totally different but a love it . Certainly things would be easier if I was ten years younger.

Who said you've got to have them?

Act now before it's too late and get the snip

I was 37 when my daughter was conceived. I'm glad I didn't wait much longer as I do feel like a bit of an old Dad. I'm often in the same age group as her friends grandparents.

Rough games can go awry though. The broken leg and separated shoulder during a Buzz Lightyear re-enactment was a hoot. (The older fool did the shoulder).

[url= http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-27730752 ]This is probably what he has read.[/url]
Also borrow a good microscope to check your side of the bargain. You can keep the slide.

Wife and I are both over 40 and would rather have a dog than a baby.

you wont miss what you havent got .. an besides you'll have a stack of cash and loads of holidays. although kids bring a whole set of happiness and pain.

I think you've missed the issue of who is having the baby and ultimately its the other half that decides ( just as well as I dont fancy the birth process). Good luck whatever you decide and its never the right time to have a kids they just come along 🙂 )

I'm 41 - 3 kids, 2 grand kids (but no dog)

Each to their own - would be dull if we were all the same!

Fairly late here (37). Glad I did, I think being older makes it easier to change, and you've done all the young adult stuff (fast cars, exotic holidays etc).

Everyone is different. We started at 30 but it took 5 yrs & 2 X IVF to have our daughter. Now I wish we'd started sooner.

We were 40 before our boy came along.

I took a lot of persuading to change my lifestyle, I didn't think that swapping all my time and money for a kid sounded like a good deal. Thankfully I was wrong, and nothing has changed, it's just got added dollops of love & fun. I still ride & snowboard and instead of working long hours I come home to see my family.

Start working on your fitness, 4 yr old boys take some keeping up with

35 here and also no kids, along with no real drive to have them. Wife is a couple of years younger but, despite most of our friends either having them or trying for them, we have no interest at all. For the moment we quite like the lack of responsibilities and the extra money in the bank.

Maybe in a few years but I remain very ambivalent at the moment towards them.

I was late 30's when I started thinking I was missing something.
(not my keys 😉 )
Then the Missus realised she didn't have an endless supply of eggs and we went defcon 1. That will be the $hit or get off the pot time.
I'm 45 soon and Li'l J is 3 in August. I know she wants another, but I worry I'm too old & can we afford it.
I reckon 45 is my limit so she'll have to get cracking. 😉
Like Scotroutes, sometimes I do feel like an old dad & like Crankboy,if I could change one thing I would have done it 10 years before....
Luckily I cycle - apparently that makes you 10 years younger doesn't it?

I was 35 with no kids. Now I'm 46 with 3.

Watch the tv advert for the Citroen Grand Picasso for a quick precis of my life.

Watch the tv advert for the Citroen Grand Picasso for a quick precis of my life.

😆

Just about all my coupled up/married friends are having kids now, there's about a 12 year range there, with about 40 being the top. Some intentional, some not. Most of the same gang are getting married and buying houses.

I'm 27, and am now starting to get the 'you next' chat quite a lot, WTF?

I'm in no rush to do any of the above, I live with my girlfriend of 10 years, we're comfortable enough, I save a bit of money, have a rally car, 3 bikes, 3 guns, lots of cool 'stuff' and a dog.

That'll do me for several years yet I reckon, I've always thought I'd want kids, but can't imagine changing my lifestyle so radically any time soon.

Just do things at your own pace, with the only proviso being you don't ignore your biological clock(s) completely, and are prepared for it being potentially more difficult/expensive to get pregnant if you leave it a lot longer.

Children aren't for everyone. Neither is adoption*

Whilst time is on your side, it's different for ladies. It might be time to have the conversation. The chance of fetal abnormalities such as down syndrome increase dramatically with the mother's age. I hate to be realist.

I'm a 31 year old father of two and wouldn't change my life for anything; except perhaps this Sunday morning. I was woken at 6 am by a 6 month old with a leaky nappy, a 3 year old who's world would fall apart if he didn't have mashed potato for breakfast** and the hangover to end all hangovers.

*my hat goes off to people who do.

**he got biscuits if he promised to watch cartoons quietly.

I'm 50 next year with a 19 year old and a 13 year old. I'm glad I got their early years out the way when I was a bit younger - they're bloody knackering.

it's not compulsory or anything to do with your friends.

Is there any reason you want Kids ?

Plenty of folk out there without Kids and no real reason to have nor want any either. It's not a pre requisite of being a Human to have Kids, and anyone who comments about upholding a legacy really shouldn't be considering having them IMO.

The older the population gets the older the age to have Kids. If you think you should have them before a certain age then having them in your 20's would have been optimum, however you may not have been in a decent enough financial situation back then, now you may be.

Plenty of single parent families around that would change a few things in their lives had they not had/had to early Kids.. I reckon some long hard though ought to go into any decision about whether you want Kids and whether you actually go through with having them.

I don't have Kids and my life is pretty damn Perfect.

had our 1st at 36, and by god it is tiring.. but so what, i was able to do things when i was in my early 30's that those with kids couldn't... we're trying for number 2 (i'm 39 now). i don't really want to be in my 40's with a 2 year old.. good god no. (though if i am, then so be it)

I was 35 for my eldest and 37 for my youngest.

Yesterday I was roller skating at my youngest's 10th birthday party while all the other parents sat on the sidelines. Think I surprised a few of them.

No way would I have got to do that again, if I didn't have kids.

Is there any reason you want Kids ?

Yep, most women are programmed with a biological imperative to have them.

You can try and fight it, but you are on to a loser; the sooner you realise that the easier your life will be.

No age is too late to be a Dad, its the ladies who have the biological clock. Certainly tougher the older you are but if you want kids then go ahead, it can be the most frustrating experience but overall its wonderful.

I had kids in my late 20's and early 30's. I think being a bit older is probably good in some ways, and not so good in others, but being a *lot* older would have been ridiculously, unpleasantly hard.

i was 28/29. one of the things important to me was to still be fairly young when they are adults - when they're in their 20's ill be in my early 50's. i suppose when that time comes i'll wish i was a bit younger but its no age anyway really.

51 and nearly free of kids .My youngest is 15 .I cant imagine having kids now I am free to do what I want now .I had my first at 25 so was able to do less then but now being mortgage and sprog free am able to have more impromptu fun !!

First at 38, wife was 40. Only thing I regret is not doing it earlier as I might have had more energy but it wasn't meant to be

You're as old as you feel

Quite annoying to have people you may or indeed may not know very well start the inquisition about when you'll be having kids etc. Partly because you never really know what people are going through privately, could easily be the case that people have been trying for a long period without success, or been through miscarriages and other trauma and the queries just pile on the pressure. It's no one's business but your own. Unless you know someone *very* well indeed, I'd lay off that line of enquiry entirely. If you know them that well they probably have told you already.

Also don't like the idea that it's inevitable that you ought to be having them. It involves significant changes/compromises to lifestyle that shouldn't really be given up lightly. It's not so much that parenthood is overrated, it's that it is often very difficult to get a break from it. Like being served your favourite meal every mealtime. At some point you'll want a change.

For context I'm a 38 year old with a 20 month old child. I'm starting to get the same inquisition about when the next sprog is going to appear.

I'm 40 with a five year old and a nearly two year old.
I guess I was about your age when we had our first.
Both conceived by the.. erm.. "traditional" method (though not much sign of that ever since! 😈 )

So I wouldn't say you've left it too late. Neither would I let people push you into having kids. It's not compulsory and it's not for everyone.

But I would urge you to [i]think[/i] about your decision and make a conscious choice - men can quite easily sleepwalk through these things and then only realise they've made their choice (one way or the other) too late.

You can have mine.

was 35 for first and 37 for no 2. Don't show any fear and never feed them after midnight.

I'm 37, my wife is 38, we are pretty happily child free (it was discussed early on for us and has always been this way), perhaps we are missing something, but I don't feel like that when watching friends holding the little tykes as they vomit all over them (last weekend).

Enjoy your life and live it the way you want to.

Had jnrW at 36, was ambivalent about kids before that. But now he's here I'd not change a thing and we'll have another (at which point I'll be 39). I'll be an older dad but that's fine. It's extra motivation for training!

"wish we'd started sooner" I think this is possibly a universal with parents, they're just thinking that if they had kids earlier there's a chance the little spongers will be off their hands soon 🙂

Had first at 35, I'll be well into my 50s before me and the mrs have the house to ourselves again 🙁

I'm 29, partner is 32, currently starting the IVF process (i'll be glad when it's over either way, it's not making her life very pleasent). I don't know if starting any sooner would have changed anything but it was only after 2 years of trying that we found out there was a problem. After a few procedures for her, laprioscopy etc, we've been told that it's 'undiagnosed infertility'. We've been lucky enough to have been offered IVF on the NHS (only one cycle compared to 3 in other areas, but you shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth), and have decided that we'll give it 3 goes, if nothing happens then we'll knock it on the head.

We were both quite ambivalent about kids,but I guess you always want what you cant have.

Looking around at friends who've had kids late, I'm glad that at 50 my 'kids' are 21, 20 and 17 - rather than sub-school-age...

Do it now. Start tonight. Don't necessarily try for a baby, just stop using contraception.
Being a parent is a job for the young, at any rate not for the old.

I don't know anyone with kids who has regretted it (except perhaps one with a handicapped child)

But at 60+ I do know a number of childless couples who get teary when drunk, about how they wish they'd had them and how they made the wrong decisions in their 30s to have "fun" instead. In the scheme of things, that "fun" pales into insignificance beside the joys & terrors of children.

Personal choice, innit?

If you want them but not had them yet, the constant 'when are you having kids?' questions was annoying - especially for Mrs TP. I think it's a well meaning question, especially from older generations.

I don't judge people who don't want them (my brother and several close friends as examples). However, I knew an absolutely lovely guy - never had kids and lived with his wife and dogs. Didn't see him for a few years but heard that his wife died of Cancer and left him alone. I bumped in to him one day and we had a long chat, he was clearly depressed and very lonely. His parting words were to ensure that I had children - not doing so was his only regret. He died a few weeks later. That encounter not only cemented by desire for kids, but not to leave it too late so that I could enjoy being a parent for as long as possible.

Early 40's here with a 3 yo and a 1 yo. It's brilliant, but it is bloody hard and exhausting, though I don't think that'd be any less so if I was in my 20's. I was also a bit of a mess in my 20's and think I make a much better dad now than I ever would have then.

We started trying in our early 30's (most definitely wasn't ready before that) and it did take ages, was a rocky road, and we needed quite a bit of help for both of ours. It probably will happen when you want it to, but don't just assume that'll be the case.

we've been told that it's 'undiagnosed infertility'.

You have my sympathy! Do lots of research. There are lots of facilities offering a range of different treatments. I've we'd not done this and just kept trying the same thing then I really don't think we'd have our kids.