[Closed] Nearly had fisticuffs this morning!

It made me laugh. One of the best auto-corrects I've seen in a while

I love when people are in such a rush that they are being an utter tool to everyone, but not in such a rush they can't stop for a quick fight.

(Hope no one else has said this, I read the OP and first couple of comments then posted. If you disagree with my approach, I'm removing my contact lenses and watch in readiness for taking this outside even as I type this)

Outside, now.

http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/nearly-had-fisticuffs-this-morning/page/2#post-8410292

For my sins, I had the presence of mind to actually question a guy who had been sat up my arse at speed for some time. I pulled over as soon as possible when the duel carriageway started but he sped by, pulled in and slammed on his brakes, gesturing me to pull over to the hard shoulder. I followed him to a standstill, propped open my door and remained seated. As he stormed over, with as much cool as I could muster given he looked like he wanted to kick me in the throat, I slowly removed my sunnies and said

"You can't be in that much of a rush if you've pulled over for a kicking..."

by which I meant he was doing the kicking. I reckon, from the look on his face and the total lack of words and his stomp back to his car, he thought it was the other way round.

I also had a London motorbike courier try to grab me through a slit in my open window. I got quite wound up by that and was up for expressing that to him in a way he'd obviously understand. When we pulled over on Tavistock Street I leapt out ready to get stuck in but he refused to remove his helmet. Sizing up the little hole I decided I'd probably hurt my hand if I tried to get through the gap so I grabbed the mouth guard and furiously shook it until he fell over.

I laughed all the way back to the flyover...

[i]duel carriageway[/i]

Freud would be proud.

🙂

Indeed

@P-Jay: I think we live in the area, and I totally agree with you. Today's ride was bizarre in terms of local traffic!

"I'll fight you on one condition. .......that you lower your nipples"

In a previous job a guy cut in front of one of our vans, stopped and went looking for the fisticuffs. At 10 foot from the van, he spotted the two county youth front row rugby players and Polish weight lifter. They never found out what he had to say.

so I grabbed the mouth guard and furiously shook it until he fell over.

That's brilliant!

Top thread OP.

This reply brought tears to my eyes:

You should have said "I'm Batman" just to get the last word

Curiously inconsiderate roads last night - we've headed to Wales, great run to Rhayader but then hit a big, slow-moving convoy on the way to Aber, lights going way into the distance so not much point in trying to move through. Some chap made his way through with a couple of horrifying round-the-outside moves, and was a whole one car ahead of us by the time we made Aber.

Had another tool drop in behind us heading south to Cardigan, still in slow traffic, sitting right on our arse and often offside over the line, so his offside headlight was good and bright in my mirror. We made our way through that traffic with him six inches from the rear bumper the whole time, but he wouldn't come passed us until I indicated and slowed. We then had grandtand seats for him not overtaking the cars in front of us, again sitting right on them and spending much time over the line. Knob.

There are quite a few long site lines on the road to Aberystwyth from Builth which allow overtakes in what can appear to be blind situations, but are perfectly fine if you know the road. Bit more fun than just sitting there.

You'll probably know the ones - twisty hillside, good sight lines round the lefts, into blind rights, this guy was going round the outside of cars on the lefts and hoping there was nothing coming the other way (you'd probably see car lights, better hope there's no-one on a bike) and suicidal into the rights. I saw him from probably three cars back and, like I say, he was one car in front by the time we hit Aber. It was just a bit stupid, it wasn't like he only had to pass five or six cars and he's away - the traffic ran miles into the distance, just not worth bothering (the bloke in the Lancer Evo VII in front of us clearly agreed 🙂 ).

"I ask him if he's got any pistols"

This is brilliant.

Could possibly be bettered, if thought of at the appropriate time, by;
"Your choice, pistols or swords".
Excellent response, though, perfect timing. Which, as everyone knows, is everything.

Sizing up the little hole I decided I'd probably hurt my hand if I tried to get through the gap so I grabbed the mouth guard and furiously shook it until he fell over.

That is brilliant! I have a YouTube video of that running in my head, impossible not to laugh.

so had a London motorbike courier try to grab me through a slit in my open window.

The appropriate response would be to hit the window button and wind it up trapping his hand, then start to move forward slowly... 😈