Dearie me. Cruising at lunch, effectively 100-1, looking to bat them out the game and then the inevitable collapse. What did they eat?!
At this rate they'll lose in two days.
Fairly grim viewing... Haven't seen a decent ball bowled for ages
BBC online commentary initially announces it as 'Australia win by 98 wickets'. Sounds about right.
What a bizarre test match. Everything in extreme. Not what a I watch(listen) to test match cricket for. As a fan I'm not entertained.
On the flip side, I'm going to get more sleep over the next 3 nights than I'd anticipated. And Perth's tourist attractions are going to see more revenue from poms stranded in Perth waiting for there pre-booked flights out.
A reasonable recovery after a horrid start. All out 180 no doubt.
Interesting period of play. Crawley got in and then got out. Harry Brook is absolutely brainless. Pope is "just a player". But Root looked pretty good, so...
In the balance it would seem at ‘dinner’. Looks much better than 5 for 2 though!
Well they've not shat the bed just yet, so there's that...
Ah. Hmm
Well done Root. Hopefully they can get beyond 300.
Honestly, if it wasn't for Root (and Stokes with the ball) this would feel like the worst days of the Atherton era - turning up without a snowball's chance, absolutely zero penetration with the bowling and just trying not to be all out for <150.
Someone needs to have a word with Brook. That wasn't even a badly conceived or executed big drive. That was an absolute hack that a club cricketer would get a bollocking off their teammates for. Absolutely brainless for a player of his talent.
Starc apart, this Aussie attack isn’t up to much, missing Cummins and Hazlewood. Some brainless shots, again.
Someone needs to have a word with Brook. That wasn't even a badly conceived or executed big drive. That was an absolute hack that a club cricketer would get a bollocking off their teammates for. Absolutely brainless for a player of his talent.
Ah yeah mate, but that's just who we are, yeah?
Funny how Bazball seems like the cricket version of Angeball...
Brook is, rightly, getting a lot of stick. But he still averages 55 in tests, so must be doing something right.
I know the "it's just the way he is" thing is annoying, but maybe it is who he is and if you make him play straight and slow you lose 20 runs off that average.
Great knock by Root, properly shut the Aussies up now. He's done everything, they can't knock him any more.
Good camio from Archer as well. Important runs.
Brook frickin just needs to watch Root. Well pleased that non-declaration got some decent runs on the board.
And,… Rooooooooooooooooooooot
At 5 for 2 this is a good score. At 210-4 less so. Hope they can get a few more tomorrow and see what the Aussies get.
And,… Rooooooooooooooooooooot
Means something else in Oz, that.
"Fancy a Root?" "what, a cultured century that really demonstrates the primacy of Test cricket?" "nah, the other sort"
Well this is pretty dire, if not unexpected. Innings defeat?
Just as you posted that... I mean sure, it's only 2 wickets and probably won't change the outcome, but with this series shaping up the way it is, you gotta take what you can!
This next 25 minutes are probably the game right here. Bowlers seem to be flagging, scores level but Aus probably feeling precarious, 6 down under lights... If Aus get to the end still 6 down, they win. If England can winkle them out, Aus batting last, England (very) marginal favourites.
😬
I was watching yesterday on TNT sports and quickly realised the commentator was Rob Hatch. Love his cycling commentary but not surprisingly he's awful at cricket commentary.
Healy, Gilchrist, Haddin, Payne, Carey.
Don't you just hate Aussie keepers that can bat with the tail?
But England should be off the field by now. They've shelled 4-5 catches. 🤦♂️
Yep, it’d be a different game if they’d held onto a couple last night.
Clutching at straws, but the West Indies have just batted out two days to save the first test v New Zealand.
Oh FFS. Honestly, Duckett can just FO back home - he's useless in the field and with the bat. How Pope has stayed in the team for this long who knows - he shouldn't even be in the Lions. This is shambolic.
You know what you’re getting with the openers, and it’s paid off probably more often than not. Pope though is a clown.
Oh great. Now all England's hopes rest on Brook and Stokes not getting out. RIP bazball 🙄
This is like watching Graham Taylor's England football team. Hoisted by their own hubris.
Yep, England consistently talk a good game but inevitably fail to deliver. Bazzball bollocks.
Bazzball bollocks.
It's become a cop-out. An excuse for not knuckling down and concentrating.
The thing that really irks me is that they have not gone out there facing a squad containing McGrath, Warne, Gilchrist, Waugh(s) etc.
From 1993 to 2002/3 there were six Ashes series where England would be lucky to have more than one player selected in a combined XI for the series. In 2001, I reckon not a single England player would have made a combined XI. A once in a lifetime performance from Mark Butcher still not being enough.
Before this series, a combined XI would have been roughly 50:50. Duckett, Root, Stokes, Brook, Archer would probably all be in.
England had a huge chance this series. Australia were there for the taking. And they've blown it by playing brainless cricket and not concentrating in the field. FFS.
I have just watched some YouTube highlights. As Pope walked off he was shaking his head. I actually said out loud "what are you shaking your ****ing head for?"
He nearly slaps one to cover driving on the up. Then he nicks one over the slips driving on the up. Then he plops one back to Neser and is out... driving on the up. What on earth can he be shaking his head at?
Aaaargh.
This comment left on the BBC Sports section sums it up quite nicely
"Turns out that Australia's approach of playing sensible and disciplined conventional Test match cricket is superior's to England's treat it like an ODI approach.
Bazball is cowardice dressed up as bravery. Always taking the "aggressive" approach and neglecting hard graft is weakness, not strength."
I think Aggers comment that, bar Bethell who’s not scoring runs either, there’s no-one pushing the current team for a place.
Smith has been crap for a year, he isn’t scoring enough runs to make up for the average keeping.
Pope is a walking wicket.
Duckett is fast using up what credit he had in the bank whilst Crawley does just enough to not get dropped.
Brook is brainless.
But there’s no one in the counties knocking the door down either.
A downside of central contracts is that it creates a closed shop. I have always admired Tom Abell as a batter. He's always been able to nurdle the ball around when necessary then give it a whack later on. Sam Northeast has been unlucky not to have been given an opportunity yet, IMO.
BTW - I agree with Athers. The Bazballers should not change their approach one iota for the rest of this tour. The Ashes have gone. This nonsense needs to be allowed to play out in its entirety so that it can be irrefutably proven to be so. Five-nil if no weather intervenes. Maybe then we can have a regime that actually respects Test cricket as a game.
This comment left on the BBC Sports section sums it up quite nicely
"Turns out that Australia's approach of playing sensible and disciplined conventional Test match cricket is superior's to England's treat it like an ODI approach.
Bazball is cowardice dressed up as bravery. Always taking the "aggressive" approach and neglecting hard graft is weakness, not strength."
It's genuinely worse than that... England have been out Bazballed by Australia!
How so...? Well playing positively and scoring at 5 an over has never been the preserve of England anyway, and Australia have just proven once again, that application of not chasing after length balls driving on the up (on bouncy wickets) and playing each ball on its merit, rather than trying to dispatch it to the boundary come what may, can result in a 5rpo run rate consistently anyway!
Joe Root in the first innings aside, Englands brainless batting is inexcusable.
The absolute number one thing you're taught by batting coaches when you're a kid learning how to bat is to "get your foot to the pitch of the ball"... And that if you can't get your foot to the pitch of the ball, then you should be playing it off the back foot or leaving it. Brook is genuinely a "generational talent" as keeps being bandied around, he really has that much potential. But he has absolutely minimal application! The way in which McCullum has instilled the "just play how you want to play, don't worry about the consequences" attitude into all of these players, it's as if he's been paid by Cricket Australia to totally undermine the England team's chances of winning an Ashes! On paper, given Cummins and Hazelwood have been out for the first two tests, we really should be entering the 3rd test 2-0 up... Starc has been incredible, let's not forget that for a moment, but the rest of Aussie's bowling attack has barely been mediocre to this point and as for Aussie's batting lineup, well Head taking the initiative @ Perth aside, they've been absolutely mediocre as well and not living up to their potential (they have been bowled some dross by England's bowlers though, Stokes aside) and Mitchell Starc is now currently topping their batting averages as well as bowling averages!
As mentioned above, if you were picking a "best of" side purely on potential, there's 5 or 6 England players get in for sure... Two opening batters, well Duckett has been on increidble form through 24/25 until this tour, Crawley is a liability but then Khawaja's been even more of one for Australia of late and Weatherald is an unknown, though they have just repurposed Travis Head in this position, so you'd go Duckett and Head here...
Middle order, well nobody's picking Pope. Nor Labuschagne to be honest, he's only back in the Aussie side due to a complete lack of capable batters! So Smith 3 and Root 4 is a no brainer... Brook gets 5, not just cos Head is now opening, but cos he really is that good when he applies himself. Stokes at 6 again a no brainer...
Keeper...? Well Jamie Smith might not be living up to his potential right now much like Brook, but he's a much more capable bat than Carey normally, and he's normally a lot more reliable behind the stumps than he has been this tour so far, if not quite as good as Carey here...
Bowelrs... I think it goes without saying that right now, Mitchell Starc is absolutely the no.1 choice... But to be honest, I've always thought he was Australia's best strike bowler anyway! And obviously, all being well, Cummins and Hazelwood would join him in the bowling lineup too if they were fit... But they aren't right now! So who would you pick as the other 3 bowlers...? Well not Neser for sure, or Boland to be honest! Gus Atkinson hasn't been firing either like he should have been, nor has Archer since the first innings at Perth! Carse has been lucky to get the wickets he has done, most of them more out of poor/loose shots by Aussie batter than by bowling well, and he's leaked at nearly 6 an over most of the time! Will Jacks? Yeah I'm not sure why he's been selected either... Good fielder though! Same for Josh Inglis... And Mark Wood...? Well yeah... Didn't get the wickets where he was expected to at Perth (did cause a handful of bruises mind), and predictably injured for the next game... Starc and Stokes aside, the bowling this Ashes so far really hasn't been up to much at all, and the series has been dominated by second rate batting performances making the bowlers look good at times... On both sides! Lyon? Well rightly so he's angry at not being selected to play this test, and he really didn't get much opportunity at Perth (understandable given the nature of the wicket and that it was all over in 2 days)... So Lyon's in the team, and assuming they're fit, so are Cummins and Hazelwood, but if not then I guess you go Archer and Boland...
So depending on whether Cummins/Hazelwood are fit or not, a combined XI would contain either 5 Aussies and 6 English players or vice versa...
But as it is, only Stokes and Root have showed up at all, and England are about to go 2-0 down in the Ashes to a 2nd string Aussie side that Mitchell Starc aside, are a loooooooong way from playing their best cricket right now!
Another thing to put this in context...
England have just lost a test inside three days, at the Gabba, to a team that has an opening bowler that the keeper stands up to the majority of the time. And that 'pace bowler' took five-fer.
To over-use an old quote...
That is Village.
Interesting listening to The Grade Cricketer this morning, specifically about Ben Stokes. They were saying how he's got a lot of credit after the last match for batting properly and being the only person (arguably with Jacks) to bat to the conditions. And yet it's him (and McCullum) who have been telling their players to run to the fire, to attack first and to not think of the consequences. They were saying it's odd how he's getting huge credit for doing the thing that he's told everyone else not to in the last 4 years.
Related but not, has Wood played his last game for England? It certainly feels like it might have been his last test.
I don't have anything to back it up but I'm sure earlier in his career Stokes was very good at coming in, assessing the situation, blocking if necessary and then going ballistic when he was set. I just don't think the other batsmen are anywhere near the level of Stokes and Root who have been carrying them for a while now. As has been said elsewhere, it's quite hard to be dropped from this team.
A shame for Wood, but leaving injured was even more predictable than the current scoreline. Yeah, I doubt he'll play again. I wish the batsmen got injured like the bowlers do!