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I am shrewd :-)What ever that means. Really got to go to sleep. Too much wine tut tut. Family here from Eire, christening tomorrow and race if I get there. Apparently a years supply of Hovis bread for the winner! Can't miss it! Good old Dorset hills. No I am not Irish.
Dorset girl through and through. OMG my spelling is awfull.
I am missing the point-missing alot of things really!!
TTFN
😯
Sex is good but you can't beat the real thing!
So Nicky, did you win the bread? if so any chance of popping round for a slice of toast? 😀
Get a room, you two!*
*Under the name Mr & Mrs Smith, obviously.
Not yet have been to brothers daughters christening this morning. Off up there shortly, my event not until 4.30. Its chucking it down with rain and the cobbles will be well slippy. This is a new thing for me normally do enduro hype things, but I love going up hills not sure about flat out. Will be fun and cold. Will let you know.
Hey there are some strange remarks on here.
Its a way to come for a slice of toast!!!!! 😀
Nicky - all the best with the race, do i count that as an invite? 😀
Great day despite the foul weather, got up the hill and didn't get out the saddle. A lot didn't make it. Wasn't very quick and only one in my age group anyway. Legs were like jelly after a bottle of hobgobblin put that right. It was a day for the road lads really. Prove to be quite popular. Should google Gold Hill-it's steep and very pretty. Should be some pics up soon on website.
No bread-no toast. Think your a bit of a cheeky monkey!!!!!!! 😆
Well done for doing as well as you did, you can't win them all! yes i suppose i am a bit cheeky. My email address is in my profile if you would like to hear more 🙂
Yeh you really are very cheeky. Think mines on my profile to?
Think I am too old to be winning, thats for the young ones! It was fun and thats what counts. 😉
Time for bed zebedee-boing
Nicky - YGM 😉
YGM = virtual room???
Glad to see Supertramp is taking your [url= http://www.singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/how-do-you-mend-a-broken-heart ]advice[/url] seriously 😆
YGM
I haven't a clue what it stands for??? And whats a vitual room??? Not too good at all this shortened stuff! A lot of the comments don't make any sense at all to me 😯
YGM - you got mail ie the person saying it has emailed you
Get a room - don't have a private chat on a public forum.
supertramp - Member
...........My only harsh thoughts are - why air it on here? do you realy need the input of online strangers to solve your emotional issues? If so maybe there are things besides this relationship you need to sort out.
I think it is often very useful to get other peoples perspectives to your problems. you have no need to take their advice but it often crystallises your own thoughts or gives you new ideas / a bit more perspective. with issues like this its hard to discuss it will people you know in the real world. Just take your large pinch of salt when listen to folks on here.
Yeah. Some of us are just a little bit new to this sort of thing and haven't really done it before. So please forgive. But it is hardly like some of the cruder stuff that appears on here and there is a lot.
But thanks for the telling all the same 😳
nicky - don't worry about it.
YGM - you got mail ie the person saying it has emailed you
Get a room - don't have a private chat on a public forum
dont have a private chat - rhat sounds quite ironic considering the subject matter of the topic 😆
So desperategit, can we have an update, what is the current wife/lover situation?
I am not saying anything. Don't want to get into more trouble for private chatting!!!!!!Ha ha.
Yeah would be nice to know what happens. Whatever it won't be easy.
Then life isn't easy full stop.......
I guess we will never know who that masked man ( I still think woman) really is 😕
Edukator - MemberAre men such selfish bars. though? How often do you refuse to something your spouse requests. "I need the car tonight, dear". I dutifully push the car out, put the battery on charge, wash the dust off etc.. Going back a few years "I think his nappy needs changing", I washed his arse and fitted a new nappy. "The sink's blocked (with my hair) again, dear", with not a hint of protest I start dismantling the thing.
Is it so unreasonable then for a man to say "if you don't fancy a shag (because I've looked at the calendar) I'd appreciate a massage and hand job"? I don't expect passion or even simulated passion every day but is providing a minimum service really any more arduous for a woman than ironing a few shirts, something I never asked my wife to do but you get the idea. Anyhow it works for us.
Sounds like i'm in the early stages of a similar situation. Unsure how to proceed to be honest. Have talked it through quite a few times, with only short-lived improvements to the relationship.
Thing is we genuinely do get on very well, enjoy each other's company etc. It just seems that she has very little sex-drive. The frustration and resentment on my part only serves to make this worse by causing tension between us.
Cheeseburger - professional help! ie counselling
TandemJeremy - MemberCheeseburger - professional help! ie counselling
Yes, I think you're right. Just need to MTFU, get over my worries and sort it out. It's just that niggling feeling that it could ruin the relationship. Then again, do I want to be in a sexless relationship? But I do love her ... argh!!
its not a MTFU situation - it can and could poison your relationship and professional help could help you sort out ways to deal with the situation.
I'm not so sure about this councelling lark. If you both really get things off your chest it's going to result in a lot of emotion which will be expressed with tears, harsh words, saucy suggestions and a passionate shag to conclude the deal you work out. Not the sort of things I feel comfortable with in front of a third party. I find physical contact when we're discussing things useful, even if it's only holding hands.
Its never easy what ever your going to do. If your not in happy relationship and this other wonderful person comes along and you think wow I am really happy, your kind of blinded in away. Happiness masks being unhappy but doesn't necessarily make it right. This situations don't always work out long term. If your unhappy at home it is best I think to sort it and make it work or leave and then when your settled start again with a clear head. Hard I know. 🙂
Its never easy what ever your going to do. If your not in happy relationship and this other wonderful person comes along and you think wow I am really happy, your kind of blinded in away. Happiness masks being unhappy but doesn't necessarily make it right. This situations don't always work out long term. If your unhappy at home it is best I think to sort it and make it work or leave and then when your settled start again with a clear head. Hard I know.
the most balanced view so far!
So Desperategit how did this all work out?It would be interesting to know who you are with now, or even if you are alone.
ouch.....
Well. Update.
Under the tension of the situation the GF and I started over analysing everything we said to each other. Time spent together not in bed was not working well, things started cracking between us and between me and wife at home. Then about 6 months ago, wife found out, and gave me a choice. I chose her. And things worked very well for a few weeks, more effort on both our parts, and it sometimes seemed as though she was enjoying the intimate side of things. But then it all stopped again. No sex, few hugs, a boring passionless life. And huge pain to the GF which she did not deserve.
So now I have to think about what to do next, as I don't want to spend the rest of my life like this.
Time to move out and have a "trial separation" ? How do you say this to someone in a kind way?
Nothing other than abuse expected here. Just thought I'd update the story.
Why "trial"? You're not happy at home (physical side of things is obviously an issue). Just leave and let both of you get on with your lives.
Remember this line?
You obviously didn't. What you were experiencing was a (for you) unusual level of intimacy.I now have a lover with whom I am much more physically compatible. [b]And I love her.[/b]
Get out, give yourself some space and find someone you really are happy to share the rest of your life with.
Ta for the update. Tried counselling? Its worth a shot as you obviously still feel something for your wife.
My 2 p - don't bugger about - stay and give it your all or go.
So now I have to think about what to do next, as I don't want to spend the rest of my life like this.
Masturbate. At least you'll only be damaging youself, you sound a bit selfish anyway.
+1. In fact, I think I (along with plenty of others!) suggested it several months ago. Still reckon it's the way forward.Tried counselling? Its worth a shot
Why "trial"? You're not happy at home (physical side of things is obviously an issue). Just leave and let both of you get on with your lives.
+1 sorry it has to be said, you [u]know[/u] it won't work so move on, you're only delaying the inevitable if you stay.
no need DS not a joking subject
Try counselling and hope it works - she obviously loves you or she does not want you to leave
Tried counselling? Its worth a shot+1. In fact, I think I (along with plenty of others!) suggested it several months ago. Still reckon it's the way forward.
+1 again. Really.
no need DS not a joking subject
Who's joking?
[b]He[/b]'s destroyed the relationship with his wife, used the girlfriend for his own satisfaction and [b]he[/b]'s now asking for a solution because [b]he[/b] doesn't want to live the rest of [b]his[/b] life like this!! No joke bud, but I agree on the counselling with a bit of reflection, not the marriage guidance flavour though.
Purely selfish and I'll step away now.
Nice one DS! Masturbating comment made me smile anyway...
DS I think that is pretty fair. The relationship with my wife is potentially back on track, but like masturbation, I won't be getting much affection. Just like before the GF came on the scene. The GF and I didn't work beyond the sex and being friends. We were tearing each other apart. But I feel really really bad about the effects on her. So yes. Selfish. And probably better on my own.
I think Druidh is right
Masturbate. At least you'll only be damaging youself, you sound a bit selfish anyway.
Don Simon, always ready with a kind word. Do you do volunteer work for Relate or Samaritans, by any chance?
Can you get counselling for self-obsession.
Agree with DS on this one.
dg - I know what it's like to be in that sort of marriage. Comments like "just masturbate" are obviously from those who see women as no more than a container for their spaff and who don't appreciate that sexual intimacy with another person is about more than tossing off like some frustrated teenager.
dg - I know what it's like to be in that sort of marriage. Comments like "just masturbate" are obviously from those who see women as no more than a container for their spaff and who don't appreciate that sexual intimacy with another person is about more than tossing off like some frustrated teenager.
Of course it is druidh, fortunately the OP has the ability to think and has understood what I meant.
Some unpleasant words being spouted above.
Sounds as though the marriage has run its course so you would be better off moving out and starting a new life. Don't know your wife's reasons for giving you a choice but perhaps they're different to what you think they are?
FWIW I stayed in a miserable marriage for far too long and regret not leaving sooner. You only come this way once.