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This is for MrsIHN, it may be quite a long post, so bear with me.
For years now, MrsIHN has had issues with anxiety, panic attacks and, occasionally, depression. It's thankfully a while now since the black dog has raised it's head, but the anxiety is going nowhere and if anything it's getting worse. Heights freak her out, flying too (not as bad, but it's getting worse) and she knows that, in general, she has anxious thoughts pretty much constantly.
It's worth pointing out that when I say 'freak her out' I mean sweats, shakes and, well, loss of rational thought.
Things came to a head yesterday afternoon when she was due to have an operation on some varicose veins. She was nervous in the weeks running up to it, understandably, but in particular the thought of having the canula in the back of her hand was freaking her out. We were waiting in the room prior to the op for about four hours, which gave her plenty of time to stew. When she was walked down to the pre-op room outside the theatre she could see through the doors into the theatre in all it's stainless steel and pipes glory and, well, things went downhill from there. Huge anxiety attack, which in the end caused the surgery to be cancelled. She was very, very distressed for the rest of the evening and overnight. She's calming down now, just, but is still pretty jittery.
To this point we've tried to do all of the things that are recommended in the various things you read; we eat a healthy diet, good health/weight generally, plenty of exercise, VitD3 through the winter, try to get plenty of sleep etc etc. These definitely help, but we feel it's now time to seek some proper treatment, whetever that may be. Nothing is off the table (CBT, psychologist, psychiatrist, anything else), however she really, really wants to avoid medication; she took it years ago when her depression was very bad, and hated it.
She's currently on the phone to BUPA, as she has cover with work, and work also have one of those Employee Assistance Programmes who we may try as well.
Would anyone care to offer any personal or professional experience as to what else we could or should be thinking of doing?
but in particular the thought of having the canula in the back of her hand was freaking her out.
Yep, had that. I had severe anxiety brought on by a whole set of circumstances one of which was being ill, hence ended up in hospital for some radionuclide tests which involved a canular in my hand - I remember it was a real fight not to lose it and rip it out; was freaking me out completely just staring at it...
In the end Citalopram worked wonders and pretty much switched off the anxiety for me; then the set of shit circumstances which made me ill all resolved themselves or rather I quit my job (the main problem).
Personally I found medication to be fantastic, couldn't rate it highly enough....
It always sounds a bit dismissive of what is a horrible way to feel, but to me breathing is key.
If you can slow down your breathing then your heart and mind will follow. It does take practice.
First of all, you both have my sympathies.
I've been in a similar situation with my wife for a long time. She suffers anxiety and depression, and has struggled with it for a very long time. It's mentally and physically debilitating, and the restrictions it's had on both of our lives are significant. Not that I begrudge it at all, it's all part of what you deal with as a couple.
Anyways, treatments. She's been through most of the gamut. Various antidepressants combined with various therapies - CBT, Mindfulness, and various other talking therapies. The key to it for her has been finding the right therapist to help her. And she finally found her through her works EAP (which it sounds like your wife has found, excellent news!) - she was introduced through them, had a limited number of sessions, then due to ethics could not see the same person for at least 12 weeks after the EAP sessions ended. We discussed it at great length, and the long and short was that she felt she made so much more progress with both her anxiety and depression with her than with any of the others she had seen (IAPT etc)
She's now seeing her privately and making good progress. She's back on medication due to going through a bad patch mentally (which she really doesn't like - she feels like there's a 'fog' over her - it's not just the lows it takes the edge off, but the highs as well 🙁 ), and we know she'll never be 'cured', but she definitely feels like the counsellor she's seeing is giving her the tools she needs to help tackle the obstacles she faces.
Hopefully your wife finds the same. 🙂 All the best dude.It sounds selfish, but make time to look after yourself as well. It's very easy to concentrate so much on the ones you love that you forget to look after yourself, which makes you less able to help her.
Not quite the same thing, as it was a single issue, but MsBeej used to be terrified of needles - which didn't help when she had to go for weekly blood tests (after her tunnel cath/"blood taps") were removed.
She saw a hypnotherapist who had her just about coping with blood tests after one session, only slightly worried after two and comfortable with them afer four sessions. It was mainly breathing/focus/visualisation exercises that she was taught, which she practiced at home. Probably similar to techniques taught by other therapists.
Thanks all.
Having spoken to BUPA she's getting a call on Friday from one of their mental health bods, who will then refer her on for more specialist help.
The key to it for her has been finding the right therapist to help her.
Yeah, I think this will be the key
She saw a hypnotherapist
Yep, that's been done for her fear of insects and has worked, and we could probably do similar for the heights and flying thing, but to be honest I think that would be looking at the symptoms, rather than the deeper cause.
It is a bit unlikely that she will be able to achieve a really good quality if life without medication, given the long standing and generalised nature of her anxiety. The good news is the medications are much better than they were even a few years ago.
If she can find a good psychiatrist, they may recommend cbt or similar in addition.
The problem with treating individual targets (like hypnotherapy for heights,e.g.) is that if the anxiety is GAD, then it'll just find a new trigger and so on and so on. As you said, you need to tackle it at source because it is a vicious and pernicious little bugger.
I wish your wife the best.