MegaSack DRAW - This year's winner is user - rgwb
We will be in touch
My mum’s long lost cousin has made contact after vanishing 30-something years ago and is coming over to visit this week with her 20 odd year old son. As part of the “Reunion Tour” my mum will be bringing them over to our house for tea and awkward conversation for an hour or so on Wednesday. What on earth do I say to these people?
So, if somebody on here is a Welsh chap who is accompanying their mum on a visit to Manchester to see distant cousins this week I’ll see you on Wednesday. We can talk about mountain bikes.
If it is not somebody from here I’m stumped.
Aunty Lesley : “You’ve grown since I last saw you Andrew.”
Me : “Well it was 1974.”
Aunty Lesley : “Yes it was.”
Me : “Another biscuit?”
and the elephant in the room will be 'Why did you go and why have you come back?' one suspects.
did this recently, though it was only 20 years since i last saw my cousins. Ended up just talking about work, houses and holidays. Boring stuff really. Felt weird, My cousin is 6 months older than me, and looks a bit like me, i think everyone expected us to get on really well, become best mates and then go and build a treehouse or something, where as in reality, it was two adult men, saying hello, shaking hands and then making general chit chat.
Or...
Aunty Lesley : “You’ve grown since I last saw you Andrew.”
Me : I'm not Andrew, I'm Harry the Spider.
Aunty Lesley : WTF, you wierdo!
Me : I'm not Andrew, I'm Harry the Spider.
Aunty Lesley : WTF, you wierdo!
Perhaps I should wear some sort of Spiderman/Ben 10 outfit under my shirt and reveal it at that point. That'll scare the ****ers off.
Or:
HTS : Hello Auntie Lesley
AL : I am called Philip now
HTS : So that is why you left...
surely this is a great opportunity....
dress like you've been dragged through a charity shop backwards, spend the whole time talking in an accent that changes depending on the subject, offer them dry slices of bread with their drinks, have one side of the curtains shut in each room and leave a sign on your (Strategically planned) already open door saying "come on in my daughters lovely"... leave the door open during the whole visit.
then next time you see them act completely normal 🙂
It will be awkward if you don't ask the questions, but could be great if you do!
Pour some wine, and go at it.
Where the f--- have you been?
What the h--- happened?
Take the piss a little bit, don't be too serious.
I bet it's an interesting story, and suspect that they'll want to talk about it without all the 'elephant in the room' weirdness.
Would it be any easier to just think of them as random strangers you are meeting at any old event?
Remember that they may have had a very good reason for disappearing. They could have been hurt or frightened or embarrassed by something or they may have been trying to protect somebody else.
Lots of horrid issues and bizarre rules go on in families that people outside of the house/family group (and sometimes those inside of it) either deny or don't realise, so dont assume these visitors have behaved badly. People dont usually vanish on a callous whim without there being a problem background.
They may also be afraid of trying to talk to you. Worried you will ask them things they are apprehensive of talking about. Worried you will not like them. They too are probably thinking 'What do we say?'. But to be honest, what do any strangers say when meeting for the first time? Generalities. You might find you like them and have loads in common. Be kind though and remember they may make up some trivial reason for departing all those years ago, cos the real one is too hard for them to tell.
imagine if they turned out to be....
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roadies?!
dark secrets are hard to admit when they're that dark! dont push too hard to an explanation, unless they turn up in lycra... then its time to unleash to bar ends.
I know why they left and it's nothing bad.
It'll be weird for them too. The last time we met I was 5 years old!
Hopefully my little lad will do "his stuff" and distract everyone for an hour or so. I'll slip him some Skittles™ half an hour before they arrive. 😉
Your 'little lad' isn't a euphemism is it?
Your 'little lad' isn't a euphemism is it?
If I whipped out "The Beast" with a green Skittle™ in his eye I suspect that I would never see them again.
My stepmum took this one step further. Using the powers of tinternet, she truffled out relatives in the American Mid West, made contact with them, then arranged to visit. They could have been murderers, or pig sexing hillbillies, as I warned my dad several times. Turned out they were just boring. And mildly irritated by the visit too. So they inflicted one back, which iritated my folks. So they inflicted another one back. Repeat to fade.
I think sometimes these things are best left alone.
I had this with a cousin a while back. She's not family though, just a relative, family's people who've had something to do with your life so I couldn't see any point to meeting up, I can meet random strangers any day of the week.
That may not be entirely productive for your situation but I guess what I'm saying is don't feel obliged to buy into the touchy feely blood's thicker than water crap, they've blown that and that's their problem, it needn't be yours. If you want to make some connection, then you should worry about it, otherwise...
Take her down the woods and show her your berm.
It's a very nice berm, she's bound to be impressed.
I'd be dying to know why she'd left. In the same way that when I meet or work with people in wheelchairs, I am dying to ask them what's wrong with their legs.
I can't decide if that'd be more or less awkward than determinedly ignoring it.
They moved with her husband's job (army) then lost touch. Nothing more sinister than that I'm afraid.
my father died when I was 2 and apart from now dead grandparents I never had much to do with that part of the family, never liked them to be honest. Every once in a while my mum forces my to attend some family event from that side, she thinks she's doing me a favour by wanting to go with me in tow. Its always odd, I suggest you just get drunk and hope for the best.
Went up to Yorkshire this w/end to stay with a cousin I've not seen since 1992, so not really long lost but it's been quite a while. Was great, went for a nice walk up on the Chevin nr Otley, went to the pub for a few drinks, went out for something to eat, then back to her house played music and drank 'till about five in the morning talking about all sorts and everything. Brilliant w/end.
Kev
Well that wasn’t too bad. An awkward half hour stood about in my kitchen followed by a more relaxed hour in the pub. I met my second cousin Chris for the first time who seemed like a decent enough bloke and my wife fancied him. My sister probably fancied him too.
Glad to hear it went well
Potential for dodgy gang bang and everything!
So, this Chris, then. Is he a right fit bit HtS? Did you fancy him a bit as well?
No. He's a full-blown Welsh.
As Welsh as this?
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