massively so, given that he’s not even asked! Can he not just stick it on his credit card and pay it back in a couple of days?I’m overthinking this
Really been struggling with the scenario, but couldn't work out why. I think the following has crystalised it for me:
What your mate needs most is to realise that if you haven’t got £100 left at the end of the month then you need to look at why.
If it was needed – mortgage payment short/baby food/ loss of job etc etc then yes deffo.
For a thing/item/collectable gimmicky Supreme labelled POS/limited edition sweatshop Nikes etc etc then no chance.
(I think) I think that if it was something urgent and he really needed it, then yep I'd give him the cash right away.
But if it was for something that he didn't need, and he was genuinely thinking of buying it even though he was stony broke with no recourse at all then....
Sometimes it's nice just to do nice things though! 🙂
Lending money to a mate. Would you?
If you need to ask the answer is No.
If you need to think twice then just give him the money as gift. He can decide if you are worth paying back.
Buy it for him , he can buy it off you when he gets paid
I’d lend it to him. Just seems like a nice thing to do. That or buy the thing he wants, then show it to him before breaking it with a hammer.
Lend? Probably not for a non-essential purchase, if they really haven't got £100 in the personal treats piggy bank, because what is to say that will be available to repay to you next month? Maybe buy item or give them the cash to buy item as an early birthday/Xmas gift.
Is this a best mate, someone you've known for yonks, can rely on if ending u with fisticuffs with some argumentative scrote down the local ale shop. You've been out together, camped, had long in depth meaningful conversations with ?.
Get a best bro greetings card, stick in £100 and hand it to him as a gift.
I'm in the camp struggling to understand how someone who doesn't have £100 before pay day can afford to spend £100 on a collectible after payday.
I would lend money for a necessity such as rent or an important bill only.
Depends. If he's usually good with money and just happens to be short this month then yes I'd lend it to him. If however he's always buying things he doesn't need and always running short, then no.
Missing the point here...
Why would you offer to lend someone money if they don't actually need any money? Or even asked you "for a borrow"? (I hate that term).
Right, my thinking on this is IF you genuinely dont care if you ever see that £100 again, and he is a good mate, why not just gift it to him? As in make it clear no payment required, given in the name of friendship. It can only strengthen that friendship.
In any other case I would say no, because he has not asked for the item or the money for it.Respect his right to window shop without buying, it might be what he is doing. Kind of like that film quote about the dog barking at the car, the one where he wouldnt know what to do with it if he caught it. Of course I could well be chatting shit here, you know your mate so go with your gut.
If my missus bought me everything I lusted after just because I wanted it , we would be destitute in no time.
But good on you for being considerate enough to, well, consider it.
Buy it for him or just give him the money if it's that important to him, and he's that good a mate and you can afford to lose the money...
Favours are often repaid in ways far more valuable than cold hard cash, and often when we least expect them to be!
IF you genuinely dont care if you ever see that £100 again, and he is a good mate, why not just gift it to him?
One thing I don't think has been considered yet is, pride on the part of the recipient.
One of my escape room team regulars is often short on cash. I would cheerfully pay for his ticket time over time, altruism aside it's in my own interests because I'd get more games in. But he will not accept it because he fundamentally objects to what he sees as being a charity case.
Yes of course I would.
What does it matter what it’s for? He’s asked you for a favour, do him one.
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<div class="bbp-reply-author d-flex align-items-center flex-wrap"><span class="bbp-author-name">Watty</span>
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<div class="bbp-reply-content p-0">What does it matter what it’s for? He’s asked you for a favour, do him one.
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That's the point though, he hasn't asked.
Im now firmly in the 'confused' camp. I can't see how if the friend in question hasn't actually asked to borrow any money that this is a real question! How can you lend him something if he doesn't ask for it? Surely you'd be giving it to him, in which case don't expect it back, it's a gift!
Anyway, the answer is 4: overthinking it. Whatever it is will have sold out by now!
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What your mate needs most is to realise that if you haven’t got £100 left at the end of the month then you need to look at why.
Oooo hark at thee. Imagine getting paid enough money every month to last until the next pay day. Must be nice.
It's a mate. I wouldn't make some kind of moral judgement on them.
I'd give them the ton fo shiz if I was in a position to.
Im now firmly in the ‘confused’ camp. I can’t see how if the friend in question hasn’t actually asked to borrow any money that this is a real question! How can you lend him something if he doesn’t ask for it? Surely you’d be giving it to him, in which case don’t expect it back, it’s a gift!
Anyway, the answer is 4: overthinking it. Whatever it is will have sold out by now!
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This (the bold bits) made me laugh!!....
if he asks then yes. If not no.
By offering it then he may well feel that your taking pity on him or something.
So we still don't know WTF this mystery item is? Come on OP.
I find it really hard to buy anything for friends that they really want. Here you are with the ideal gift on a plate - snap it up!
(careful you don't bid against him though)
£100 is a small price to pay to find out if he's a true mate or not.
I've got mates I'd happily lend large amounts to and "mates" I know I wouldn't see £20 again if I lent it them. Your call which camp he falls into.
i think we all want to know what it is... come on...
Anyway, i would. Im effectively eternily indebted to a mate for all the work he's helped me with on my house. He'll never need the money mind as he's single and no kids and lives like Reilly..
anyway back to the point - what is it? If it's elecy to keep the kids from freezing (or similar) you should do without him knowing so there is never any awkward moments.
easiest solution, buy it, and keep it till he hands the money over.
if its a pair of trainers then keep them a year and sell for double your money. win win
ps. i bought a vitus escarpe a few months ago as my mates credit card wouldnt work. i've known him since i was 4 year old. i told him not to pay me till it arrived..
100 sheets? If I had it I would lend, give or otherwise sort out any of my true friends. Ie the ones I actually know in person and have done for 20 years +.
If it was a friend as in loose acquaintance, someone off Facebook I'd met once or twice or had bumped into at a party 10 years ago then no.
Original post was yesterday, saying item was only available today? What is it he wants from Aldi/Lidl?
What I've done in the past is given them the money. I've done it twice: one gave it back, the other didn't. The one who didn't - it was £500, about 20 years ago when £500 was a lot more than it is now - is still a good friend. He couldn't afford to, we've never mentioned it but I guess it's come back in other ways. I'm happy I did it.
A mate really helped us out working on our house.
I bought him a guitar and an amp as an unasked for thank you. He then got me a Christmas present to a similar value. We wouldn't normally give any Christmas gift.
I've been trying to give him a hand on stuff at his house as a way of paying home back.
So try to say thanks too much and it might get a bit awkward.
Still good mates through
IF he hasn't got access to £100 before pay day I'd be reluctant to help him into an even deeper financial hole. If people can feed, clothe and house themselves I'd rather not interfere with their finances. If they're short of a meal, I'll feed them, short of a roof then offer them a Karrimat on the floor, and short of shoe rubber take them to the red cross shop. Beyond that I'd feel uncomfortable and so would anyone I consider a mate.
Original post was yesterday, saying item was only available today? What is it he wants from Aldi/Lidl?
I only came back because Yesterday was 'the day' and today should be Payday.
I wanted to know how the OP was getting on.
