Kiwi Joke
 

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[Closed] Kiwi Joke

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A Kiwi ventriloquist visiting Australia walks into a Small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog.

He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Ozzie

'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?'

Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Kiwi.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'

Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.'

Ozzie: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (pointing at the Villager)

Dog: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'

Dog: 'Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food And takes me to the lake once a week to play.'

Ozzie: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'

Ozzie: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either...I think.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'

Horse: 'Cool'

Ozzie: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at the villager)

Horse: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the Elements.'

Ozzie: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'

Ozzie: (in a panic) 'The sheep's a f*****' liar……'


 
Posted : 18/02/2010 2:44 pm
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usually told the other way round guv'ner, in Oz at least 🙄


 
Posted : 18/02/2010 2:47 pm
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No, I like it this way round...


 
Posted : 18/02/2010 3:15 pm
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Don't get it I'm affraid


 
Posted : 18/02/2010 3:26 pm
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Mark Datz - Member

Don't get it I'm affraid

PMSL....


 
Posted : 18/02/2010 3:47 pm
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An aussie bother with chatting up the sheep's mates first? Unlikely ...


 
Posted : 18/02/2010 3:53 pm
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usually told the other way round guv'ner, in Oz at least

Mrs Ratadog is a Kiwi so can confirm that Tankslapper's version is the correct one.


 
Posted : 18/02/2010 3:54 pm
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What is the Maori word for car aerial?
Ko tanga

Knock knock
Whose there?
Statue
Statue who?
statue bro?


 
Posted : 19/02/2010 7:43 am
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With apologies to the OP, but I'm an Englishman, living in Wales. Guess how I might hijack this joke today...?


 
Posted : 19/02/2010 8:51 am