[Closed] Kid at Uni? How much do you give them a month?

... I never got anything, I got a part-time job.

Can't he get a job? Either in the holidays to save up before/between terms or while he's at uni?

THe experience (if it's in something realted to his planned future career) and/or socialisation (of something like bar work) would be useful too.

They've flown the nest mate, let them spread their wings.

Every spare pound will be spent on beer and fags anyway so best to learn the value of money 😀

EDIT: I didn't get anything, i got a full time job in the summer holidays, then carried that on, working nights for 2 years while studying! I still had plenty of time for a social life too, somehow!

My parents paid my rent in first year, after that I get my train fair when I visit home and maybe £30/month. I get the minimum loan too.

... I never got anything, I got a part-time job.

Ditto.

She gets minimum maintenance loan (and loan for fees).

We pay accommodation only: 108pw / 3900pa for halls in Cardiff last year - this is actually one of the best value you will find ime. 290 pm in shared house near by next year.

I'm another 'didn't get anything'. Except that is not strictly true as I got fees paid, a full grant, and a bursary all given to me. I'm OK paying what we pay, in real terms it's less than I got, and we can afford it (just about).

... I never got anything, I got a part-time job.

Ditto.

Maybe us saying we'll pay accom and you can keep the loan plus whatever you earn is a solution.

Not sure what the chances of finding part time work in Treforest are and he doesn't drive so would be limited to public transport times to Cardiff for work.

We don't want to cut him loose altogether. We also want to ensure he does a degree and finishes it so him being able to cry off due to poverty isn't really something we want to cause.

I'd say treats - i.e. suit for a ball, a trip away or emergencies.

I got nothing when I went to Uni but then you DONT study or drink 24/7 and not even a fraction. You spend most your time bored IMO. If your paid to do not much its a bad trend.

If you worry 'if he/she has to work then it'll affect your studies'- no it wont. I remember doing 4-5hours a day max on my studies. The rest was TV/killing time and ****ing or trying to get shagged.

Maybe us saying we'll pay accom and you can keep the loan plus whatever you earn is a solution.

Having the kids get jobs is a double edged sword, if they do that at the expense of studying its not worth it. Ours worked here and there and over the summer to pay for extras/holidays (inc middle one who worked for 6 months to pay for her gap year travels). If you can afford to make things a little easier (inc paying for a holiday) then do it. IMO the 4 years leading up to Uni are a nightmare for kids with pressure and we all know once they start working how tough life is so if we can make things a little easier then we should do it.

Just some numbers for those saying pay nothing.

Loan amount excl fees: £3500
accommodation costs: £3900

So she would be on -£400 before considering day-to-day living expenses.

And still have to pay back the £3500

I got my fees paid, accommodation paid and a monthly payment to cover food, travel and a bit spare for materials/clothes/drinking. I then worked during the summers for spare cash so that when I came out of Uni in July I wasn't in debt, which meant I could afford to buy a suit and travel to interviews as well as enjoy a holiday.

But I did a science subject where I had 25 hours contact time per week in the first year, with about 10-15 hours coursework which increased each year. Engineers or science subjects with lab work could have 30+ hours contact time per week plus coursework so fitting in a part-time job will impact their work. I realised at the time I was very lucky, I knew a number of people applying for hardship loans because their parents wouldn't or couldn't help out and there was no way they could work during term time and still get a first class degree. Remember they are paying £27,000 over three years to get a degree that is supposed to improve their future career prospects.

IMO, as a minimum find out how much the bus pass will be from his halls to his lectures and price a reasonable weekly shop in Aldi and at least give him enough to cover that. If they chose to spend it on booze, then that's a lesson learnt.

EDIT: I guess you might also consider mobile phone costs too.

yes, the numbers are scarey - I wouldn't have wanted to start my working life with £40,000 of debt - my first mortgage was the same as that.

I've no idea what having him in the house costs us now, there's 4 of us but I reckon 35% of our food bill is down to him plus he's in his room on various electronic kit 22 hours a day etc. Happy to divert the 'savings' to maintaining him away from home plus make sure he doesn't have to worry about having somewhere to stay whilst he's there.

I used to live in Ponty, there's PLENTY of bar work going round there and the train in to Cardiff is better than driving if he finds work down there anyway.

It's actually a cracking place to live if you can adjust to knowing everyone and everyone knowing what you're doing, all the time 😛

EDIT - if he's in Tref there's no need to get a bus anywhere, get a bike and you can Taff trail it everywhere!

Maybe us saying we'll pay accom and you can keep the loan plus whatever you earn is a solution.

That's what we did. Don't know if it was right or wrong but we wanted her to live somewhere she felt comfortable (London uni) and not have to get diverted from her studies. Probably she did have too much money and wasted some of it (I saw the stream of receipts from Top Shop etc) but I think it was OK in principle.

he's in his room on various electronic kit 22 hours a day etc

He got through hes A levels on ^

A part time job at Uni really wouldn't hurt him and get him out of his digs doing something meaningful.

There's a regular train and bus service to Treforest from Cardiff Central stations, always full of students day or night. Treforest doesn't have much in the way of work for students. One or two pubs, a Maccy D's, Nando's F&Benny's and a Showcase Cinema. All the work is in Cardiff really. You'll need to get in quick though as there's a big student population so the decent jobs go quick.

Oh and when you visit him, make sure e shouts a meal and drink in Fagin's on Taffs Well. Cask ales, good food and usually a decent band once a week.

The amount of time you have available to work is surely governed by the course you are doing. I studied engineering and in the four years I was at Uni I had lectures/seminars/tutorials every morning for 3/4 hours and lab work every afternoon except Weds - which is for Uni sports. Writing up lab work, revision etc was evenings and weekends.

I did work a couple of nights a week in the student union - but it was just for a bit of beer money.

That was a very long time ago though - so maybe things have changed, but not much I imagine.

Also, now that I'm doing a full time masters in Political Economy - even when you have fewer formal hours of learning there is a huge amount reading and research required if you want to get top marks. It is possible to work and do this - but I requires a discipline.

So my opinion, for what its worth, is part-time work, good - it encourages an understanding of the value of money and the effort in getting it. But I would also think about hours formally committed to the course and how far 10 or 15 hours of minimum wage will actually go to cover costs.

I did work a couple of nights a week in the student union - but it was just for a bit of beer money.

At least you did this even though your schedule does look full on 😯 . Thats good- why should parents have to pay for beverages of essentially a grown man.

Depends on his degree as to whether he can work or not.

I was an engineering student with 37 hours a week of lectures (including labs) in the first year.It dropped off to about 20-25 hours a week in year 2 and 3, but there was still a lot of time outside uni taken up in projects, assignments, coursework and revision in all 3 years. I also played sport for university at BUSA Div I level and a bit for my club/county so there were practices for those things and matches on top of that. He may have to make a decision if he plays any sport about how seriously he wants to take it.

I didn't work part time in my first year at term-time, but I worked two jobs, sometimes 3 during the holidays in my final year. My parents paid my first term's accommodation and that was it. I was not eligible for a loan either, so it was pretty hard going.

My relatives would see me once or twice a term and give me a few quid here and there, and take me out for dinner and so on. It really helped that I was in a catered hall too. I don't know if I could have managed it self catered in the first year.

I'd like to think I'd have done better academically and sports wise in my first year if I'd been better funded. It was gutting to see other students in my halls and on the team spend money like it was going out of fashion. They were good folk, but it's hard to stomach when you're taking a fiver out of your overdraft for a night out and some kids are planning skiing weekends and holidays. Dropout rate in engineering after the first year was crazy as well. The effort I had to put in meant I saw my degree through to the end too.

I'd suggest a compromise. Instead of cash, say you pay for a fortnightly supermarket shop. If he rides, or plays sport, say you pay for consumables, or kit.

Of course, this all depends on how good your child already is at managing money and self control on the booze.

my parents sorted my rent, but nothing else until the final year when he amount of my loan dropped to an unsustainable level. Then I got £80/month to cover food. I worked full time during any holiday time that I could afford to not spend on course work, but not during term time. I just wouldn't of had the time.

[i]self control on the booze. [/i]

he doesn't drink (really), he's only 17 until November but he really isn't interested in the whole 'going out getting pissed' thing. Of course he might go off the wagon once he's living away but I suspect not.

Tesco etc do deliver to his halls apparently so we could organise food parcels on a regular basis...

Halls are about 5 minutes walk from the places he'd be studying so transport costs will be zero day to day.

... and working during summer holidays is obviously a good thing, no matter what course you a doing - something I and most of my friends did.

Another got nothing-ist here. Took a year out and saved every penny I could before going, then worked thorough. Dad gave me a "break glass" credit card for dire emergencies & that was it. Summer holidays were spent slogging away in either the worst bike shop ever (the now thankfully defunkt Bearwood Cycles in Brum "Can I have a test ride?" "No, all bicycles ride the same, we don't do test rides!") or for the council's parks service weeding & planting - quite possibly the best job I've ever had. Term time I worked in the campus stationary shop.

Doesn't drive? Surely driving lessons?

but he really isn't interested in the whole 'going out getting pissed' thing.

If he's not a complete hermit then he will be peer pressured, or not want to be the odd one out when people make plans to go out.

Oh, and remember there are the, ummm, romantic considerations.

[i]there are the, ummm, romantic considerations.[/i]

he's got those covered - she's the reason he chose this uni...

... I never got anything, I got a part-time job.

+1

t and some kids are planning skiing weekends and holidays.

That's Durham university for you...

(Was it?)

in 2001 my mum gave me £30 a week (my dad paid my rent, loan paid the fees). I was reasonably wealthy with that, as I'd always worked part time as well and was used to having money in my pocket. I got a job pretty much straight away, paying about £35 a week (SU Bar), so I stopped the money from my mum then.

If it were my kids (who are 6months and 3, so it doesn't reotally apply yet), I'd support with large purchases (text books best bought from amazon for not quite latest edition!), sports society membership/trips/train pass etc and perhaps use one of those asda (other supermarkets available) pre paid cards where you can top it up, he can spend it, that way you know he won't starve, you're not neglecting him, but all your hard earned money isn't being spent on cheap ganj and tequila.

Performance related funding would be my option.

I got a job (evenings in bars, weekends and holidays teaching sailing and gofer on building sites).
I expect my kids to do the same.

Well, if he wasn't at uni, he would have to live on £57.35 a week to cover everything including bills (but not rent)

Seems like a good starting point to work from - depending on his degree, he might have to get used to it 😈

. Thats good- why should parents have to pay for beverages of essentially a grown man.

No one is suggesting just paying for drinks. Do you have kids Hora? If or when my son goes I want him to experience it properly not spend all his time working. I never worked during term time at uni and I dont think anyone should be expected to. There'll be time for that later. In answer to the op get the kid to buy and cook his own food for a week and see how much it costs.

That's Durham university for you...

(Was it?)

Russell Group, but not Durham. 🙂

Probably the same experience at any of those to be honest!

We saved up money for ours as soon as they were born putting $10,000 a year into a fund for them. They each then got this lump sum of money when they were accepted onto their University course and had the responsibility to manage it and spend it wisely to make it last their 4,5,6 years.. This was just as much a good education for them on top of what they were studying. Some interesing differences between how they did.

Watching this thread closely. Took eldest to her first open day on Saturday, Sheffield Uni, looking at 2015 entry. Cheapest Uni accommodation, self catered, shared bathroom is £4100, most is around £5100 self catered, en suite. Catered is £5685/6432 shared/en-suite. Sheffield is boasting it has cheapest living costs in Russell Group so dreading figures from others, London especially.

Looking at Maths, so 15-20 hours contact time, a job is an option. Like others have said, lots of contact time like in Sci/Eng and some other courses limits the options considerably.

I got nothing so worked my nads off in summer and holidays.
Never worked so hard since.
V pleased as I have been v careful with money since.
The student jobs were really good fun too met some crazy people.

when my son goes I want him to experience it properly not spend all his time working.

When did university become "an experience"?

I went because I wanted to learn and because my university was decent at a sport I played and offered me a great opportunity to do both. I'd also argue it made me who I am today by teaching me how to juggle responsibilities and by offering me a good look at what life would look like. Of course I had fun, but I don't think university should be lumped into "an experience" to be had in your late teens/early twenties. It is far more valuable than that.

Also had tenants in london whos parents paid everything.
Caused loads of problems as they were spoilt brats no respect for
Anyone or anything.

Do the sums. What's the minimum number of hours you could expect him to work in term time and in the holidays (be realistic - he has to actually find a job first!) and multiply that by the minimum wage. add up what it's realistically going to cost to live both when at uni and when at home including transport to have a lifestyle you would be happy for him to live (i.e. not designer brands and chardonnay for breakfast but not value beans on 7 days a week either) . Remember to factor in money for birthday/xmas presents etc and a bit of a social life and money for sports etc. Add what it's going to cost for books/materials to do the course. Take one from the other and that's what he needs from you.

Whilst I think uni is a good time to learn about the facts of life and living to your means it's also a really amazing learning experience both academically and socially. It's important that he has to work but to come out of it thousands in debt (from the fees alone) having had a rubbish time and a missed opportunity for the want of a few grand would be an error.

Just some numbers for those saying pay nothing.

Loan amount excl fees: £3500
accommodation costs: £3900

So she would be on -£400 before considering day-to-day living expenses.

And still have to pay back the £3500

When did university become "an experience"?

You and I clearly have a very different understanding of the term experience. I would say that university has always been and will always be about 'the experience'. Academically, socially, possibly even spiritually. Some of us did vocational degrees and came away with knowledge important to our future careers but that is only a small part of it imo. The opportunity to learn to love learning is 'an experience' in every sense of the word.

@curious - I think you are misunderstanding what the poster meant by "experience", I think you are both talking about the same thing.

Part of our thoughts have been prompted by this;
[i]
Students struggle to find summer work

Students hoping to secure a summer job this year are struggling, with just a fifth succeeding, a study has found. The survey for The Student Room website found that 86 per cent of students wanted to work, but only 19 per cent said that they had found a job easily. [/i]

I can't find a more detailed article but I'm sure I read that 50% of students who wanted summer/part time work were failing to find it when I heard it on the radio.

So, yes, we want him to find work for this summer and next and during his non-study time whilst doing his last year of A-Levels but his chances of finding it may not be great?

If that's the case wwaswas I'd consider a structured year out with an employer. I did the year in industry scheme way back in 1995. Practically everyone on the scheme went back to work for their year out employer over summer. I didn't go back because my placement employer went bust, but that's another story.

@wwaswas - yes I think a lot of summer jobs have been taken by the unemployed, plus weak overall economic activity means there are less shop/retail/waiter/pub jobs etc.

I would watch carefully the working thing (as I can see you are doing), what you don't want to do is jeopardise his A levels, its a really stressful time for kids, trying to decide what to do, where to go, getting an offer then getting the grades.

My first 2 years at uni I was on the maximum loan possible so got no help (I didn't ask to be fair). I worked Easter and summer to get some savings. Third year I had a year in industry, then in my last 2 years my mum helped me with food shopping because the slc reduced how much they were going to give me (from about 7k total to ~5.5k, then down again to 5k in final year).

I don't know if anyone is interested in the view from the other side, but as a lecturer i've found the students with part time jobs are the most organised. Having set hours to work provides a structure to the week and once students have got over the going out every night phase, they realise that time they aren't working is time they should be doing uni work.

There is a balance however, and those who take too many shifts just drift away. If anyone is thinking of supporting their kid i'd say save the money so they don't need a job in their final year.

midlifecrashes - Member
Watching this thread closely. Took eldest to her first open day on Saturday, Sheffield Uni, looking at 2015 entry. Cheapest Uni accommodation, self catered, shared bathroom is £4100, most is around £5100 self catered, en suite. Catered is £5685/6432 shared/en-suite. Sheffield is boasting it has cheapest living costs in Russell Group so dreading figures from others, London especially

I'd be very wary of claims about cost comparisons. Where i work we have relatively high accommodation costs but the contracts are much longer. We also don't kick everyone out at Christmas and Easter so parents don't have to hire a van/drive up and collect their student and all their stuff, and the students can stay around after exams have finished.

There is also an increase in private halls offering places and it is increasingly common for second and even third years to remain in halls.

@convert

To a degree we are talking about the same thing.

The pursuit of knowledge for its own sake is a noble thing, but university is not the only place that can be achieved. There are people on OU and distance learning courses who get more out of it than most people at Oxbridge or a Russell Group university studying the same thing.

University today to me is a place you go to in order to maximise your earning potential. You need to get out with a 2:1 minimum, preferably a year in industry, or some internships relevant to the field you want to enter post-graduation and a job offer lined up once you graduate.

If my child expressed a desire to go then I'd suggest they formulated a clear idea of what they wanted from university first.

OP, as your son leaves the house to set off to Uni say to him [b][i]'happy hunting son'[/i][/b] 8)

We've accepted the extra required for accomodation which was about £600 extra for the first year and will be £450 for the second year that starts in September.

For his first year we gave him £80 a month.
For his second year I've told him to find a job if he wants spending money.

We're in the same boat regarding the maintenance loan as the OP, our daughter gets the minimum. She's just finished her 2nd year at Leeds Uni.

We gave her £250 a month in her first year, as well as paid the difference between the loan and hall fees. Hall fees were paid in three installments over the year,just after each installment of the loan is paid out. She managed pretty well on that, not starving but not taking the piss with extravagant spending. She did have some savings going into the first year which she used for the Uni ski trip.

In her second year we had basically the same arrangement, topping up the loan to cover the rent,plus £250 a month, but then plus £20-30 a month for bills. She got herself a part-time job working in the unoin bar which pays for her 'non-survival' outgoings.

This september she's off for a year in Montpellier through the Erasmus programme and it's great: 1300 euros tuition fees for the year (UK student loan to cover this), she can get the UK maintenance loan if she wants it too, but the best thing is she gets given a 'monthly travel allowance' from the programme of 400 euros a month!! An actual grant! Which is more than we've given her each month anyway, plus rent and bills are £50 per week, instead of £70 rent pw plus bills in Leeds. So she's getting nothing off us next year. Result.

The year after will be tricky when she returns to Leeds for her final year and our youngest starts Uni - we were at Sheffield Uni with her on Saturday too, and we were very taken with it.

wwaswas - realise this isn't an option for everyone but have you considered purchasing a property in or near to Treforest re accommodation? Realise house prices have increased but I used my savings to buy a house in the Valleys (whilst studying at Cardiff but the Valleys were / still are much cheaper). Clearly will depend on many factors...

jms - we did discuss this but I'm not convinced that we'd save any money (we'd need to take out a loan to cover the purchase price) even if we did buy something that he could let a couple of rooms in and there's potential large expenses on the property plus any leglislative stuff we might have to do as a landlord.

Having said that a nice cottage out in the sticks would be nice for us to use during the summer 🙂

I got £5 a week lunch allowance.

I would buy a packet of cup-o-soup and a loaf of bread at the beginning of the week and spend the rest on beer.

Also on the University Open Day tour. I received a full grant and fees, then worked all summer to fund extras (including a car). Whilst university is an opportunity to flee the nest and learn financial responsibility, it is also a time to study! I personally don't think students should be working during term time, particularly in high contact subjects such as Science.

That said, if Teen1 chooses location appropriately, a buy-to-let in a reasonably placed campus town may be an option for offsetting accommodation costs. That rules out Oxford, Cambridge, London, of course... But is one scenario we are planning for.

Fees will be funded by the loan scheme.

3 children through Uni all got jobs. Because they worked and paid they were always keen to attended lectures to get their moneys worth. Yes bought them lap top and few items they needed when they asked.

Overall my experience leads me to the conclusion that those funded by the bank of mum and dad missed out on the real experience of working and gaining an understanding of the worth of money when you earn it yourself and achieving a goal in life on ones own merits.

When did university become "an experience"?

I went because I wanted to learn and because my university was decent at a sport I played and offered me a great opportunity to do both. I'd also argue it made me who I am today by teaching me how to juggle responsibilities and by offering me a good look at what life would look like. Of course I had fun, but I don't think university should be lumped into "an experience" to be had in your late teens/early twenties. It is far more valuable than that.

All those things you got from it in addition to education are part of the experience.

If my child expressed a desire to go then I'd suggest they formulated a clear idea of what they wanted from university first.

You really are a bundle of laughs arent you. I did a degree, a masters and a PhD and never thought about what I would get out of it, I did it because I wanted too, because I loved the subject and wanted to push myself academically. I would like all children to grow up and have the opportunities I had.

If my daughters go to uni, I don't want them to spend all their spare time doing crappy, demeaning jobs, and I don't want them to leave with a mountain of debt that would've been unthinkable when I was their age. So all the child benefit we receive goes into a savings account, and they'll be getting it back when they're 18.

@CaptJohn - interesting thanks

Overall my experience leads me to the conclusion that those funded by the bank of mum and dad missed out on the real experience of working and gaining an understanding of the worth of money when you earn it yourself and achieving a goal in life on ones own merits.

Yeah, cos it's not like they'll spend the next [s]forty[/s] fifty years working, is it?

I'm in the same position as the OP, daughter starting in September.

I was thinking we'll cover the gap between maintenance loan and accommodation so thats all covered, and give her a weekly allowance for food and essentials, travel etc.

She'll have to find a part time job to cover anything else she wants, and I imagine we'll contribute towards books / materials etc.

Anyway, I'm sure we won't be saving any money not having her at home!

Summer job fine, but I can't see the point of a menial term time job. For one it detracts from study and frankly time when they should be enjoying themselves. The latter being an important part of development also.

Personally I'd agree to cover all rent, food and books plus a reasonable entertainment budget.

Though I'm kinda pleased I don't have to worry about this for 13 years...

EDIT: From a financial perspective I'd get them to take out max loans and use this but cover repayments myself.

because I loved the subject and wanted to push myself academically

He asked

If my child expressed a desire to go then I'd suggest they formulated a clear idea of what they wanted from university first.

So surely your answer is valid. Yes? And that was his point. Yes?

He asked

If my child expressed a desire to go then I'd suggest they formulated a clear idea of what they wanted from university first.
So surely your answer is valid. Yes? And that was his point. Yes?

He didnt ask a question.

Thinking back to my experiences of tref, have you considered just providing the seed funding for his first 9 bar? 😉

Yeah, cos it's not like they'll spend the next forty fifty years working, is it?

Nobody puts a gun to our heads and forces us to do it. You could be accused of making your children accept the status quo. [i]"Here you go son. I worked every day for 40 years till I retired and so will you. However, I love you so much that my largesse will extend to you having a few years postponing the real world while saddling yourself with debt and no guarantee of being able to pay it off."[/i] Sounds joyous doesn't it?

Why not give your kids 40k and tell them to start a business instead?

I am not sure why offense is being taken to asking an 18/19 year old to take a good hard look at why they want to go to university. Is a decision requiring such an enormous investment of time and money not worth some reflection?

[i]Is a decision requiring such an enormous investment of time and money not worth some reflection? [/i]

I hope no one ever asks me this re: a bike purchase 🙂

We've pushed him to go. In the main because we believe he'll be more employable with a degree than without. I went from A-levels to work but that was 30 years ago and I don;t think that the world is the same now.

I am not sure why offense is being taken to asking an 18/19 year old to take a good hard look at why they want to go to university. Is a decision requiring such an enormous investment of time and money not worth some reflection?

No offense is being taken that I can see and for my part it wasnt this bit I disagree with, its the bit about expecting students to work during term time to support themselves. It should not be expected, they are full time students. Some might want to do a few nights a week for beer money which is fine, but not for them to live. I worked all day on a farm and evenings in a pub during the holidays but term time I didnt and I dont think its right to have it as an expectation.

i graduated in 2004 from Aberystwyth (nice and cheap) and the parents paid for my tuition fee's, i got a basic non income assessed loan (£9.5k over 3 years) and £350 / month from my parents. i then paid for my accomodation and living costs.

1st year i racked up a bit of debt, then worked both 2nd and 3rd years - probably getting approx £150 / week avrg

i left uni with 2 student overdrafts (maxed out) and a fair bit on a credit card

my brother who graduated a 3/4 yrs ago got £450 - £500 month but went to an 'expensive' uni

Life was so much easier for students before My Blair decided we should all go to Uni.

We saved up money for ours as soon as they were born putting $10,000 a year into a fund for them.

Wow - how much was that worth after 18 years?

expecting students to work during term time to support themselves. It should not be expected

And students would also ideally take their degrees seriously and not see university as a 3 year vacation. We don't live in an ideal world.

Economic realities meant I had to work. No question that I'd have done better academically if I'd had to work less in my final year.

At the same time, I did better than a lot of folk who had a full ride. They may have been better off academically if they'd been made to pay some of their way. It would have taught them the value of what they were getting and whether university really was for them.

When I'm old and grey and the kids have flown the nest then I would love to go back for a Masters in a maths or physics related subject. But that would just be learning for learning's sake.

Finding the responses stating people don't want their children to do "menial work" laughable. My first pay packet from my "menial job" was one of the best experiences of my life. I'm sure your daughter/son will be parachuted straight into a CTO/CFO/C-level job into a blue chip company that is working towards world peace instantly upon graduation!

[i]No question that I'd have done better academically if I'd had to work less in my final year.[/i]

and that's our dilemma.

We want to find a balance between "Here it all is on a plate" and "You're on your own son and if it affects your study then tough.".

I guess we're fortunate we can consider giving him some cash each month, equally but we don't have it sat round looking for something to do, so it would be coming out of our income.

Nobody puts a gun to our heads and forces us to do it. You could be accused of making your children accept the status quo. "Here you go son. I worked every day for 40 years till I retired and so will you. However, I love you so much that my largesse will extend to you having a few years postponing the real world while saddling yourself with debt and no guarantee of being able to pay it off." Sounds joyous doesn't it?

Why not give your kids 40k and tell them to start a business instead?

I am not sure why offense is being taken to asking an 18/19 year old to take a good hard look at why they want to go to university. Is a decision requiring such an enormous investment of time and money not worth some reflection?

Can you not just subsidize the minimum loan to top it up to be equal to what someone would get with the maximum loan / grants etc?? Surely that would be a good starting point and also put him on a level playing field with those people that aren't fortunate enough to have wealthy(ish) parents. You could always then treat him to the occasional dinner or new bike part etc throughout the course of the year but would be able to rest easy that he's in a similar financial position to his peers.

I'm fairly sure this is what my parents did when I went to uni. I got no loan (both of them are doctors) so they paid me monthly and I had to learn to make it cover rent, bills, food, going out etc. They continued paying my rent over the summer while I worked as an outdoor instructor (not very well paid). I would recommend encouraging him to learn a skill now as jobs for qualified sailing instructors, for example, are really easy to come by. As you get more experienced they pay quite well too.....when I started it was 15 a week. I still teach part-time now (am an engineer by trade) but now days the going rate is 120 a day!

It would be about £4000 a year to top up minimum loan to the maximum value I think. So paying his accom and making him live on the loan he can get would be the equivalent.

I disagree that university is meant to be "some of the happiest times in their kids lives".

It is a stage in your life which depending on what you're doing, who's around you and various other factors can be a good or a bad time, just like the other times. I am happier now than I was at university in several respects.

Of course I can see how that is the case for some people on a full ride cruising through their degree. Mum and Dad pay for everything, you have 3 hours of lectures a week that don't challenge you, or you choose not to engage with, and have no exams (this was true for my neighbour in halls in his first year reading English Literature. He had to go in and have a discussion with his professor as to whether he felt he'd done enough to pass). No slight to people on such degrees intended.

I'd be pretty happy for a while if I had no responsibilities and no expenses.

Stuff costs money. Yes, I know that. But you don't need stuff to make you happy. My latest bike is specced with an SLX/XT/Zee drivetrain, when once I thought I had to have XTR to be happy so I know this for a fact!

If your kids' happiness is what's important to you then you can do a lot better than just throw money at them for 3-4 years and hope they'll deal with the shock of looking after themselves once it runs out. You can only protect them for so long right?

If you can get some sort of halfway relevant work, working through uni puts you ahead of your peers- I can't remember the stats but a ridiculous percentage of fresh graduates have never done any form of paid work.

But, money concerns are one of the main reasons for dropping out or underperforming at uni- whether because of stress, or work impacting study, or similiar. And we see a lot of kids not really start to deal with it til it's too late, because they're kids.

Working in the trade- if I had kids and I could support them, I would. Probably some sort of conditions and expectations and I'd want to keep it to a level where they're basically comfortable and safe but not feeling fat.

I stayed at home, parents paid for travel card and gave me some money not much. Actually got a grant in my first year cause my sister was also at uni all £200 of it lol