MegaSack DRAW - This year's winner is user - rgwb
We will be in touch
Let me just start this by saying I'll come across as an ungrateful prick.
But the in laws have bought a bike for a birthday present for the lad. It's heavy and the brakes are honestly terrible I'm not even sure it's safe. He had a frog as his first bike and I think he's got used to v-brakes.
When they said they were getting one I immediately said I didn't want them to, but here we are. It looks pretty good actually but I know he won't enjoy riding it and he's just at the age now where I was looking forward to doing a few blue routes with him.
Anyway, I'm just disappointed and having a rant because no one else will listen. Trying to work out how I'll buy a different one and swap it without them noticing.
Feel for you, I would just hide it in the garage and get him a decent bike as planned. In six months time I’d tell them something vague like the frame broke/he outgrew it and you swapped the components over, or something similarly vague.
I'd tell them and ask if they can take it back and get a refund or you can make some suggestions of bikes you'd like.
But don't immediately assume he will not be wanting to ride it - you might be surprised.
Send them the Frog invoice.
Bikes can be difficult to spot laying on the ground when you reverse out of the driveway...
Bikes can be difficult to spot laying on the ground when you reverse out of the driveway
Dont forget with the lack of dtock in bike shops a lot of bikes are being stolen these days
Sell it pronto and buy a frog one the same colour
I'd just get a decent one for the blue trails and let him use it for messing about on, if it looks cool.
Bikes get stolen every day yknow
Use it as one he can take to the park, leave lying around and basically treat as a 'pub' bike. Then you can get him a decent one as a 'best' bike for days away etc. Then he'll be the same as a 'proper' cyclist with his n+1 collection started.
Just make sure it's visible and he uses it whenever they come to visit.
Use it as one he can take to the park, leave lying around and basically treat as a ‘pub’ bike. Then you can get him a decent one as a ‘best’ bike for days away etc. Then he’ll be the same as a ‘proper’ cyclist with his n+1 collection started.
If he can learn to manual and hop a pig-iron BSO, just think of the skillage on his 'best' bike. Use the gifted one to rag about town, get abused like kids' bikes tend to be, without having to worry so much about it getting pinched if he leaves it propped up in the park.
On the plus side, you did mention your wishes to them prior to getting the bike, speak to them about it (uncomfortable, but just get it out of the way?!?) then return or sell and get something decent.
I am very biased when it comes to this, but buy what you can afford, I will happily spend as much money on my daughters bike as mine, in fact, I would prefer a cheaper bike so she gets a better bike. Although it was expensive, I got my daughter a Hellion 20 when she was six, it’s the best thing I have EVER spent money on. We have already had so many amazing times on it, I can pick her up after school, we head out onto some cool trails, hit some jumps and generally have lots of smiles and the bonding time is priceless. We do stuff she loves that the bike makes possible. I’ve steered some of her friends to switch to better bikes and it made a big difference to how much they want to ride, although even with friends that are three / four years older, they still can’t do the stuff my daughter is very happy doing on the Hellion. From a selfish riding perspective, with her having a decent bike, I also get to do trails that are fun for me too. 🙂
Use it as one he can take to the park, leave lying around and basically treat as a ‘pub’ bike. Then you can get him a decent one as a ‘best’ bike for days away etc.
That's probably the best suggestion, he's using it (for pretty much its intended purpose) the inlaws don't get offended, keeps wear and tear and theft risk minimal for the 'best bike'...
Nobody needs to be told he has a second bike other than him. If it's existence is spotted tell a mini reverse lie, its a cheap old bike to save the one the grandparents bought from the ravages of forest trails...
This kind of behaviour needs nipping in the bud. Just tell them it’s shite and they can have it back for a refund. If you care about their feelings you could try to relate the situation to one of their hobbies, e.g. going fishing but using a plastic net from an arcade.
Otherwise I hope you enjoy entitled grandparents riding roughshod over your wishes for the rest of their lives. (And your lad enjoys riding a shit/unsafe bike) 😀
Use it at home, and have something better for trails. Simple. Then the good bike won't get wrecked being dropped on a curb or at the park.
Ive just given my son my Specialized enduro because Ive treat myself to a new bike, I’m not happy about him riding it round the streets as there’s more than plenty toerags who’d take it from him, wish he had a bso for riding round the doors with his mates and keep the enduro for ‘proper’ biking?
Er, how do we know it’s a ‘ pig-iron BSO‘?
What actually is it? Might be ok for a child, but the Frog/Isla snobbery of this place being an influence! Of course it might be a piece of Argos Catalogue junk, but without actually knowing...
(and what augustuswindsock said - kid’s version of a ‘pub’ bike, eg. ride to school bike?)
If your lad is likely to become a pro, I sympathise. Otherwise I think having a bad bike when young can have its benefits.
I had a BSO until I was 19/20, but I was well into my riding for many years before that.
Having a bad bike but trying to maintain and upgrade it on a meagre budget and with limited knowledge is all part of the fun. I bought lots of “upgrade” parts (mostly anodised blue) and bolted them on. Spent hour after hour adjusting canti brakes and cup and cone bearings. These days, and based on that learning, I can service forks and shocks, mend cars, and make aeroplane parts.
So, you know, don’t dismiss it because it’s crap. It can have other benefits.
My first "ATB" was a BSO, but I loved it. It took me places, gave me adventures. Hi-tensile frame and fork, caliper brakes, 2*5 Shimano Tourney non-indexed drivetrain.
Next bike was slightly less BSO but still not a brand, Shimano 300GS, canti brakes, QR front wheel. I traded it in for a British Eagle with Reynolds frame and range fork, STX/STX RC groupset.
I enjoyed each bike but appreciated the difference each time I moved up.
If he likes it let him ride it, chances are he'll out grow it soon enough and it saves wear and tear on a good bike if you go down the n+1 route.
I'd say it's pretty bad form for the grandparents to step on your toes, they must've known you're a keen cyclist (or do you keep it secret?). Tell them to take it back.
Feel for you, I would just hide it in the garage and get him a decent bike as planned.
I agree with this. Thank them for the bike but still buy your boy the bike you want to. Don't make him miss out! Probably get it ordered now if you can! Just blame COVID for the birthday delay....
Probably wouldn't tell them unless they ask.
If they do ask then just repeat that this is why you didn't want one buying as you had one on order. You know what's good for you own child. They were asked not to buy as specific present so more fool them. They of course won't see it this way so just fudge it!
This is the soft approach. If my friends or family had been told not to buy a bike for my boys and stil produced a shiny BSO then I would just say,
"blimey, he's got a new bike on the way already. Thanks anyway but I don't want it to be a waste of money. Don't worry about exchanging for something else, it's the thought that counts, I just don't want to waste your hard earned! Nightmare, eh! Cuppa?"
Funnily enough, I had the problem of being offered a bike for free from a friend for my oldest. It was a Ben 10 supermarket horror. Their little boy "hardly used it" funnily enough. Just pulled the above "thanks but already another one on the way!" card.
Lol at everybody saying to tell the in laws its sh!t and to give it back.
You know what you need to do, take it with good grace, keep it until its broken, but get your kid a decent bike at the same time.
Trying to work out how I’ll buy a different one and swap it without them noticing.
You don't have to swap it - you're never too young for algebra. N+1.
Yeah, rat bike for bodding about on, no drama if it gets in pinched/trashed, then eh?
You could get your own back at Christmas, you could give them a framed photo of their grandchild on the bike to hang above the fireplace. Look for the most gaudy and hideous frame you can find. Make sure the print is from a phone camera photo so that the resolution is awfull and make sure the bike fills most of the picture frame.
How old is the kid? Whilst us adults wouldn't be seen dead on anything less than a carbon hyperbike, when I was a nipper my bikes all weighed a ton and were usually 3rd hand, and I still loved them.
Let's be honest, kids don't need good bikes. I had a grifter as a kid. It weighed more than the my parents car. And if you look at a pic of them now they look just as bad as the average bso. But guess what, I loved it. So did my mates who had one.
Why not give it to him. If he likes it then great, if not then buy him something else and tell the in-laws it was nicked.
That’s probably the best suggestion, he’s using it (for pretty much its intended purpose) the inlaws don’t get offended, keeps wear and tear and theft risk minimal for the ‘best bike’…
Nobody needs to be told he has a second bike other than him. If it’s existence is spotted tell a mini reverse lie, its a cheap old bike to save the one the grandparents bought from the ravages of forest trails…
I agree with the first part of this but not the second. Why lie? Grown adults have multiple bikes. This your entire argument, it's fine as a hack around town but not fit for purpose on the trails. Hell, I have a BSO for exactly this reason, I don't want to leave a four-figure bike outside a scabby pub.
@tpbiker I lusted after a Grifter for like a decade. A mate had one and by god did he lord it up over us lesser plebs because of it.
I didn't have a bike as a kid, my mum forbade it. She reckoned I was dangerous enough on foot. Somewhat ironically my daily driver - when he deemed fit to allow it - was the aforementioned mate's cast off Boxer. It was an utter deathtrap, in hindsight why his parents allowed it is a shocker. It has no brakes even, we stopped it with a foot on the back wheel. No gran, I have absolutely no idea why my left shoe has such a strange wear pattern.
I didn't actually own a bike at all until my early 20s. My mum was over the moon when I subsequently bought a motorbike...
what bike is it? link us up or show us a picture!
Yep TTIUWP.
When they said they were getting one I immediately said I didn’t want them to
^^^Surely is the point^^^. This is no longer about the bike, this has become a battle of wills. Do you want to be a pawn to your in-laws’ every whim? Nip it in the bud now, or be warned you’ll be off on holiday with them every year to somewhere you don’t want to go*.
*probably a cruise (shudders).
Think the first sentence in the op post sums it up for me.
No need to piss the in-laws off. Maybe just tell them you’ve already bought a bike and ask if they can they get a refund for the bike they bought and instead get some accessories for him. Shorts, jersey, helmet, puncture repair kit, pump etc
This kind of behaviour needs nipping in the bud.
or ...
get some accessories for him. Shorts, jersey, helmet, puncture repair kit, pump etc
I've got a shed half full of puncture repair kits, useless pumps etc. and crap tool kits you wouldn't put near a bike not to mention endless t-shirts, socks with road bikes on.
It's not like gran/mum is loaded so I hate to see her spending money on useless things.
“Trying to work out how I’ll buy a different one and swap it without them noticing.”
If you told them not to buy him a bike then give it back to them. But before doing that, make sure you can get him a better bike, they’re thin on the ground right now!
I agree with the first part of this but not the second. Why lie? Grown adults have multiple bikes. This your entire argument, it’s fine as a hack around town but not fit for purpose on the trails. Hell, I have a BSO for exactly this reason, I don’t want to leave a four-figure bike outside a scabby pub.
Like I said its only half a lie, you are technically saving his grandparent's present from being shaken apart in the woods. Tell the complete truth if you like or omit just enough details to avert some conflict, it's entirely up to you...
Sometimes you want to make a little effort to preserve relationships, being 'honest' is sometimes taken as being a little too blunt and a great way to create some lingering resentment in a family over a relatively minor thing...
Lend it to Sam Pilgrim for a day, should deal with the issue.
you want to make a little effort to preserve relationships, being ‘honest’ is sometimes taken as being a little too blunt
True, but these people are supposed to be close family members. You don't buy bikes / BSOs for people you barely know. You should be able to be honest with them and you don't need to be a dick about it. It's a duplicate present.
Anyway, I have the perfect solution. They're your in-laws, so get your other half to tell them.
You should be able to be honest with them and you don’t need to be a dick about it. It’s a duplicate present.
Despite asking them not to buy him a bike, they bought him a bike. How honest do you need to be ‘I asked you not to buy one and yet you still did, we don’t want it thanks’.
My dad went through a phase of "making" kids bikes, as in scavenging parts and frames and putting them together in different combos and sizes with variable outcomes. He enjoyed it and as far as I can tell they weren't mechanical death traps, but many of the components were supermarket-level when they were new, so tip salvage expectations weren't enormous.
In the end I just honestly told him that I appreciated the offers and effort but I also loved bikes, and I wanted to do the bike thing with my kids myself, even if that would end up costing me more - i wanted it as my thing. He understood and it hasn't been an issue since.
If people know you are a "bike person" they should be able to understand that you want this as your thing with the kids and respect that role, even if they personally wouldn't spend, or worry about, a kids bike as much.
So come on then, OP, tell us what bike it is 😀
Your in-laws have deliberately ignored your clear statement.
Be clear and firm in telling them they ignored what you said and, if the bike is unused, you wish them to return it.
If the bike has been used, tell them you will be replacing it with what you consider to be a more suitable bike.
What does your son say about the bike?
Unless you address this with them directly, it's likely they will continue doing what they want.
What does your wife think and will it cause friction between you and her or between her and her parents?
They might just think that they were being helpful and get super upset if you throw it back in their face, that's the most likely outcome in this scenario unless you tread carefully.
At least post us a picture or tell us what what bike it is so we can confirm or deny your concerns.
If it's really that bad, I guess as some others have suggested, the most diplomatic solution would be if it got 'stolen' or accidentally 'run over by your car' on the drive... Give the BSO to your local bike charity place and then buy him something a bit better.
I totally get where the OP is coming from, and don’t think he’s a dick at all.
But the inlaws will almost certainly think he is, if he mentions it.
Best if it quietly gets stolen and replaced.
1st world problems innit.
It's tricky as things like this can cause problems .. But equally they seem nieve if they know your into bikes and they bought him some cheap junk without consultation.
Look at it on the flip side, for example I have friends who are into fishing and golf, I wouldn't dream of buying them a golf club or some fishing tackle as a present because I would have no idea what I was buying and the chances of them liking it would be pretty much zero if I bought it from argos or sports direct or somewhere like that.
Lack of detail and pics leads me to assume that my idea of a BSO and that of the OP is different.
Specialized Enduro perhaps? 😁
What bike is it?
I tried to get that info yesterday, not really been forthcoming.
It’s not about the bike...
Look at it on the flip side, for example I have friends who are into fishing and golf, I wouldn’t dream of buying them a golf club or some fishing tackle as a present because I would have no idea what I was buying and the chances of them liking it would be pretty much zero if I bought it from argos or sports direct or somewhere like that.
Yeah but tbf this isn't a bike for an adult who's into his cycling and already had loads of kit. This is for a kid, who by the sounds of it doesn't have any kind of bike at all just now. And whilst dad may think it's rubbish, I bet the kid will love it.
Some good replies thanks.
Maybe I should have said in the OP - he's 5, so not a big deal. The bike is a Stitch Pluto. I can only find it on Amazon but not the exact same model I've unboxed. As I said in the OP it actually looks pretty decent and I was pretty relieved when I opened it, but when you look a bit closer it's pretty shoddy. The brakes don't work at all, they are caliper types - but not good ones the metal is about 1mm thick and bends. A lot. and the bolt holes arent straight with the wheels so it's impossible to line them up. Will see if I can get some replacements - really the brakes are my main concern.
It is heavy but as many have said - most of us had a shit bike until our teens - I saved up money for a second hand azonic ds2 built from someone's spares when I was 15.
To be honest I've slept on it now and got over it. Am still disappointed I'm not taking him to the LBS and having him pedal round the car park though.
As many have said he'll probably see it and love it. If he doesn't get on with it I'll get him something else in a few months.
He's 5 and this is exercising you to this extent?
Sweet Baby Jesus and the orphans, you're gonna have a hard time being a parent...
Every day is a struggle.
Although I don't see how his age makes any difference to be honest
🙂
Wait til he smashes the brand new telly because his brother laughed at him.
Wait til he gets punched for being the wrong colour.
Wait til he sleeps in the park, under the slide, because he's forgotten his key and doesn't want to wake you up.
Wait til he loses his phone and someone else runs up a £300 bill because he forgets to tell you to cancel it.
Wait til he decides he's joining the Army.
I could go on all night with this and he's only one of three...
Chill fella, this is not a game changer!
Wait til he smashes the brand new telly
Already did that when he was 2 - threw a die cast Eddie Stobart lorry through it.
But I take your point - and as I said in my post I've thought about it again and it's not a big deal.
If they persist in such things, I'm sure you can return the favour in the future and take the same approach to their care home selection.
In the mean time, pub bike for being care free about that will only be eyed up by scrappies.
Friends that aren't keen cyclists have a garden full of BSO's left out for playing on, but bought a Frog with Grandads help for going out cycling as could see the difference. 3.5yr old happy enough on 6 mile rides now. They are also happy they can trade it for the next size up when needed as LBS that sold it will take it in PX.
Holy crap, it’s a little kid’s bike !
My kid had a £30 Action Man bike from Halfords! He now rides a Trek Remedy and is better than I ever was.
He had brilliant fun on that bike and the fact that he’s still riding and taking mates out for rides.. I mean.. my first post was pretty spot on eh?
Oh, plus - they grow outof things damn fast at that age!
Maybe I should have said in the OP – he’s 5,
And that right there was the exact point that the forum turned against you. Because:
Am still disappointed I’m not taking him to the LBS and having him pedal round the car park though.
Pretty sure that bike will be capable of pedalling round the car park.
he’s just at the age now where I was looking forward to doing a few blue routes with him.
You want to take a five year old round a few blue routes and the only barrier to entry is the bike?
I'm not sure as I believe you.
K.
I was a bit far off with a Spesh Enduro then.
You want to take a five year old round a few blue routes and the only barrier to entry is the bike?
I’m not sure as I believe you.
Your blue route isn’t necessarily the same as the OP’s blue route. Our local trail centre is Thetford Forest and I’m already happy taking our four year old around the blue trails there.
Though, to be fair, his (cough, Halfords, cough) bike does have functioning v-brakes.
You can get adapter plates for those kind of brake bosses to allow you to fit v brakes, then just fit whatever is on the frog. Probably the best option. Its worth remembering that a 5 year old grip isn't much, so they probably won't bend under his efforts
Maybe I should have said in the OP – he’s 5,
And that right there was the exact point that the forum turned against you. Because:
Am still disappointed I’m not taking him to the LBS and having him pedal round the car park though.
Pretty sure that bike will be capable of pedalling round the car park.
he’s just at the age now where I was looking forward to doing a few blue routes with him.
You want to take a five year old round a few blue routes and the only barrier to entry is the bike?
I’m not sure as I believe you.
I think stating the forum “turned against him” is a bit extreme... It didn’t, really did it Cougar.
Also the rest of that message is just a little harsh. Intimating someone is a liar - as you did in your last sentence is out of order IMHO.
jamj1974 "I think stating the forum “turned against him” is a bit extreme… It didn’t, really did it Cougar.
Also the rest of that message is just a little harsh. Intimating someone is a liar – as you did in your last sentence is out of order IMHO"
Pot calling kettle black post ?
To contemplate offending family for a kind gift due to brand snobbery over a 5 year old kids bike is truely pathetic , have a word with yourself.
It’s not about the bike…
I reiterate.
You can get adapter plates for those kind of brake bosses to allow you to fit v brakes
Thanks for that I didn't know they existed. Have ordered a pair.
the forum turned against you
I was expecting much more of a dressing down from the off to be honest (Hence first sentence in the OP). As I said I've thought again about it and got over it. And if I can put those v brake adapters on then no bother
due to brand snobbery
It's not snobbery the brakes are shite and I think it's dangerous. If you'd let your 5 year old ride round with brakes that don't work then I think you need to have a word with yourself.
The bike looks decent enough, new brakes as you say and it will be good as gold, remember to buy 5year old sized levers as he may struggle with adult ones.
He is likely to grow out of it quickly so be ready with a new bike for then and plaster it all over FB or any other social media they may pay attention to.
hope your boy enjoys it.
Pot calling kettle black post ?
I called Cougars single assessment out for attention. I did not call his honesty into question. There is a significant difference.
You want to take a five year old round a few blue routes and the only barrier to entry is the bike?
We were doing red's at 5.
Jnr had a BSO changed to something 1/2 decent on his 5th birthday.
2nd weekend we did a 20 mile flat canal towpath, it was meant to be 10 and his mum pick him up but he decided to ride home.
The next weekend we went to Surrey Hills and did a loop from Newlands Corner to Guildford and back.
The weekend after that we did most of Swinley Blue/Red
9mo later we swapped the bike as he'd outgrown the capabilities of a rigid and rim brakes.
Don't modify it and ask them to send it back as "it's a lovely thought but not safe for the sort of riding they want to do".
the brakes would be dangerous if you rode it. Kids weigh about 2 stone and it really doesn’t take much to stop..
He”s lucky it has 2 brakes - found a pic of my kid’s first bso!
This is just past 6th Birthday...part of a longer day with Lady Cannings and Blacka Moor
I very much doubt we'd be doing this if he'd started on a BSO a year earlier or I'd listened to any of the "what 5 year olds can do and need"
It’s not snobbery the brakes are shite and I think it’s dangerous.
Upgrade the brakes? I'm sure you can get a set of Hope 4 pots and some Boxxers to fit if it's about safety.
My daughters 6, we got her a Decathlon bike because it had pink bits that matched her shoes and that's what she wanted. She never mentioned carbon or hydraulics once, it was all about the shoes
It's important for kids to have decent bikes
Just ignore those acting like 5yr olds...
I'd have missed some of the best times of my whole life if I'd listened to them.
Attempt 2 at 6yrs old
https://photos.app.goo.gl/N4SK5TdTXgVP4DcJ9
In-laws no longer question, his last present from Gran was Leatt fusion body armour and last year for XMAS a new (to him) frame and shock....BMX from his uncle (OK no brakes but I added one)
My first “ATB” was a BSO, but I loved it. It took me places, gave me adventures. Hi-tensile frame and fork, caliper brakes, 2*5 Shimano Tourney non-indexed drivetrain.
If your lad is likely to become a pro, I sympathise. Otherwise I think having a bad bike when young can have its benefits.
Disagree. I vividly remember what was probably my first 'proper' offroad XC bike ride age 13 or so - me on a GT Outpost with crummy tyres, a rear U-brake and a rigid fork (it cost £149.99 from Super Cycles in Nottingham), and my two mates - one with a Cannondale F800 and one with a SC Superlight.
It was really horrible, I couldn't keep up, and I felt crap about it afterwards for all sorts of reasons (still do now actually!).
You want to take a five year old round a few blue routes and the only barrier to entry is the bike?
I’m not sure as I believe you.
Seems perfectly believable to me. Mine were riding blue routes at that age, but I wouldn't want them on bikes with dangerous brakes.
OP - if it is any comfort, our's went from Decathlon's finest '12" Cheese' (i kid you not as a model name) that my father insisted on buying...
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Honestly, the bike won't be that bad. Plus he will outgrow in about 2.1 months.
And n+1 for proper rides anyway.
to brand snobbery
It's a not brand snobbery. It's them wasting their money burying something they've been told not to.
The same could go for pretty much any vaguely specific thing that you've said you've already got covered, computer, football boots, guitar, etc.
It's not brand snobbery. It is, however using your specialist knowlege to make great decisions about thing's for your children. Why not?
My boy isn't riding about on a used islabike because of the brand. He's doing so because they're great bikes and I felt comfortable fettling a scuffed up ride for him to make it cheaper.