[Closed] In a predicament, need serious help.

Have i over reacted

Yes.

1. **** 'em

2)

coxswain

*chortle*

He can't read this. Someone's buried his iPad.

there are somethings to joke about and somethings not to.

Things that involve life and work in my opinion fall into the later.

f*** 'em

[i]is it time to get a new set of friends[/i]

If they really couldn't see what their actions meant to you then yes.

If you think they woudl; do the same again then yes.

If they say 'look it went to far and it won;t happen again' then I'd try and put it behind me.

I think they are assholes as you are a volunteer for an emergency service.I dont think you overreacted they sound like immature pr**ks

I don't think you've over reacted.. I personally take stuff involving safety very seriously and people hiding emergency equipment should never be a joke.

My only thought though is are you in a small community where this will run and run...? You don't want to be the outcast for the rest of your life I assume?

If they couldn't see that it wasn't funny when you were looking for the pager then I would say It's a done deal. Don't forget, while you might be stuck with family; friends are who you choose to spend time with. Choose wisely as time is your most precious commodity.

Have i over reacted or is it time to get a new set of friends?

I clicked on this thread hoping for comedy gold in the vein of "Erm, so I got in a fight today".
I am disappoint.

Your "friends" sound like dicks, if they honestly think that you have somehow wronged them (disrepected them?! what are they? gangsters?), and not the other way around then you are better off without them.

Hardly 'serious' help?!

They sound like knobs and you sound like a drama queen. You did ask!

How did they get hold of the very important pager in the first place?

I have discussed it with them, they all have said its serious and each person denies it.

I have spoken with the and coxswain at the statino and other crew have stepped in to say things like

'we risk our lives for each other, do they?'

'were best mates, you can count on us anytime'

'you can join us when we pop out'

I am 20 on friday and most of the crew range from 34- mid 50's

I have always had a wide range of friends but this group has been my main social focus yet i dont find they thought of not seeing them any more hard...

they sound like penisheads.

but....

without knowing any of them personally it is hard for any of us to say whether or not you over reacted.

as said, don't end up ostracised because of this.

oh, and respect.

[i] i dont find they thought of not seeing them any more hard[/i]

errm, they're just your mates, you're not married to them.

say hello when you see them in the pub and have a chat just don't invest too much emotionally in the whole thing.

You're at the age when you'd be dropping 'mates from school' and replacing them with friends (who you'd have more in common with than just your age) anyway.

there are some things you don't mess with, and this is clearly one of them. my urine would have been boiled.

I live by the sea and see the lifeboat people go out in all weathers for FREE, not being paid, to help save people who are drowning or likely to.

ANY MUPPET WHO FINDS IT FUNNY TO HIDE AND POSSIBLY DAMAGE EQUIPMENT BOUGHT WITH MONEY RAISED BY VOLUNTEERS,AND THE PUBLIC AND MAY RESULT IN A LOSS OF RESPONCE FROM A LIFEBOAT MEMBER, NEEDS TO SERIOUSLY CONSIDER THEIR MENTAL HEALTH DIAGNOSIS AND URGENTLY SEE A DOCTOR.

Fourcrossjohn, email you ex freinds and ask them to donate money to the RNLI, to the value they would have spent on drinks and food for your Barberque, if they refuse or dont respond, theyre no longer to be classed as freinds, and hopefully you will never be called out to rescue them.

Don't take this as patronisingly as it sounds because It's not meant that way but at 20, It's just part and parcel of growing up. Take it in your stride and accept that lots of friends will not be friends for life.

Just be honest with them. Life's so much easier when you're honest.. Just drop them all a joint private message on Facebook explaining why you're p*ssed off/upset, and leave it with that. If they make the effort to put things right then they're worth having as friends. If they don't then you're better off without them.

project, i'm an independent lifeboat station crew member, funds are harder to come by!

Luckily it still works.

I have asked for a donation towards the lifeboat, but every one has refused stating they wernt involved.

come to think of it they did always take the mickey that I did it for free, only one person didnt and he wasnt there at the beach!

time to walk away.

I think it depends on you doesn't it. Some people would find it funny, you obviously didn't and they obviously didn't see a problem with what they did.

So you have to ask yourself...is this the first incident which makes you question your friendship or are there other things which raise questions about your friendship with them.

You're at the age when you'd be dropping 'mates from school' and replacing them with friends (who you'd have more in common with than just your age) anyway.

This. This isn't about you ditching them because they hid your pager, this is about you ditching them because they are the [u]sort of people[/u] that would do that to you..... and you don't want that sort of person as your friend.

I don't think it's that serious - you'll encounter nobbers like this every day of your life and choose not to be friends with them..... you're just correcting a previous mistake (ie: becoming their friends in the first place)

[i]I am 20 on friday [/i]

Or at that age when most of us decide who we actually want to be around, as opposed to those we grew up with.

Just ignore them, and the ones who matter (in future) will approach you and ask why - and maybe the odd one will apologise - they are your friend.

And maybe you are the only one with any actual responsibility, so understand the gravity of what occurred.

Jeez.

Was there not a point where you were able to communicate to them: "FFS, this isn't funny anymore lads"? Sometimes you do shit to mates when you're young and you don't realise how stupid it is until you're told. Yeah, they sound like dicks for doing it but FFS, grow a pair will you.

Why didn't you get someone to bleep the pager anyway?

f*** em. What you are doing is fantastic and worth a lot of respect.

Bury someones shoes etc when having a jolly on the beach by all means but don't bury a bit of communications equipment used to summon you to save lives.

i dd ask them to stop the joke, they denied anything.

and as i stated we did set the pagers off as luckily we were down the station that evening! so every one was arriving as it was lost

[i]I have asked for a donation towards the lifeboat, but every one has refused stating they wernt involved.[/i]

It was a stupid thing for them to have done, but the 20 year olds do stupid things.

However, if none of them are man enough to say "it was meant to be a joke, it was a stupid idea, sorry", and maybe stick a couple of quid in the charity box, then I say screw 'em.

You of course have to accept any apology gracefully.

I live next to the sea , and windsurf alot .
Called out the Lifeboat a few times, helped windsurfers out when in difficulty , been helped out too when i snapped an RRD in half attempting a backie.

Sounds like your mates need to grow up. If you choose to help out for free then good for you . Better than pissing away your entire life away being a looser . As your posting on here you obviously do abit of biking as well .

Find some sensible, adult mates and ditch the pond life . You can still get pissed , not chat up girls, get pissed . The difference is you have chosen something responsible and they are probably jealous , or want to keep you at their level.

Do they not realise there is an outside chance that their little 'prank' might have cost someone their life? Unlikely I know , but not impossible.

Have them all killed! Simple as that! It's the only way to counter their questioning of your masculinity. Their families will understand this

do you think they might be reacting to the "I risk my life to save other people you know" thing you're projecting?

Have them all killed!

Ummm... I think they sound like dicks, but then I also think you seem like the sort of lad I'd have done this sort of thing to.

Perhaps you should take more care of your pager. Just a thought.

glupton1976 , it was in a safe place so i didnt get it wet when i went swimming!

Sounds to me like they are jealous/envious about what you are doing and can't find an appropriate way of expressing it. I'd say ditch them and spend more time with the crew, will probably be more interesting/less stressful.

A bit over the top
But had you stopped them from reading the Paper or when they asked to
read it you constantly said no buy your own?

think the above would have been the reasons why.
But I think someone should have said something to you
within about 10mins.

general stw mind says screw them then

You sound like a sensitive soul and they sound like dicks - go find some nicer friends - you deserve better

It's ok to decide you don't want to associate with people who don't fit your outlook on life. It can be scary the first time you leave the apparent safety of a group you spent a lot of time with.

I haven't read all the posts.

Move on. Some of the smarter ones may follow you. The rest, well you can find better mates.

call a meeting, explain how you feel, and how it was unacceptable. Don't get angry. That way the air will clear and you'll sort out who is who.

*unts

Serious job, serious implications, some things you don't **** about with.

If we had a shout and i was that last crew member needed to launch and there was a fatality because of the delay in launch and i thought it was my own fault in loosing the pager the guilt would stay with me the rest of my life!

what they did is cntish. but they are probably not mature enough to realise or not big enough to own up if they do. to some extent it comes with the age.

[bcall a meeting, [/b]explain how you feel, and how it was unacceptable. Don't get angry. That way the air will clear and you'll sort out who is who.

They are bunch of teenage mates, not the Board of Directors of an Insurance Company.

If, if, if...

****ers i had this happen with my work phone not in the serios work like yourself but that was a big no no,freinds are good and all but when it effects your life then its time to find better mates and get to the next step in life.

Clearly they don't understand how serious and important being a member of a lifeboat crew is. Your obviously more mature than they are (if they're not on the boat themselves)
Being on a crew is a job for a responsible individual. Sounds like your better off without them, you can get your own kids your don't need friends acting like them too.
Your marking a line in the sand to them that they're actions could, as you say, have costs lives and they clearly do not understand that.
Stick with what got you the job on the crew, maturity - Sod the kids till they grow up.

Been there, its a sign. If they were being more overt about it they would tell you to piss off.

I recently experienced a different issue that you with the same outcome.

At the end of the day you have to decide whether you have overreacted, and whether you are happy with the outcome, whether the issue is in your head, or thiers.

In my case I'm confident that 50% of the issues were in my head, but even with such a self admission I decided I didn't want to socialise with a group I was uncomfortable with as they weren't going to change thier behviours to suit me - why would they. It nvolved biking and that time is important to me.

Like you, I may have overreacted but I'm more comfortable without them that I am with them.

I haven't read the above but in my mind I think you should discuss the issue, admit you reacted strongly and explain the importance of your pager due to your role. If they can't respect that, walk away and find some new mates, but dont beat yourself up over it.

It's a squabble. You're not in a predicament and you don't need serious help.
There are threads not far from here where your thread title would actually be appropriate.

If we had a shout and i was that last crew member needed to launch and there was a fatality because of the delay in launch and i thought it was my own fault in loosing the pager the guilt would stay with me the rest of my life!

If there had been a shout and you had been that last crew, unable to respond and unaware of the situation, they would have been complicit for any injuries or deaths that would have occurred.

Move on. If you have the balls to work on the lifeboats at 20 and they haven't got the stones to own up to a prank, they're not worth any more oxygen.

A few thoughts:
20 is still pretty young and plenty of people are immature at that age.
Whilst I think what they did was poor behaviour, they may well not have thought through the implications to you or anyone else, and if it was a group, maybe one person led it and the others went along cos they didn't want to be seen to be too serious/not up for a laugh.
Being values-led and wanting to do stuff for other people can make other people feel inadequate so you may find you get little attacks from other people as a result...

I wouldn't expect them to know how you feel about it by mind reading tho. Talk to them individually and see what response you get. Those who show understanding and apologise, they're probably your friends. Some you;ll realise from their reaction are maybe people you want to see less of..

I had a few friends from university who I stayed friends with for nearly 20 years after, but I always had issues about just how good their friendship was. I walked away eventually, and it was one of the best things I ever did. You don't want immature, uncaring, selfish people in your life...

Fcj, you have bigger balls than I have, my friend! I know what's involved with Lifeboats, and how easy it is for a boat to be lost, with the enormous impact it has on the local community.
The fact that the RNLI is entirely funded by public contribution, and the boats are manned by volunteers, makes everyone involved heroes to my mind. Anyone who is prepared to put his own life in jeopardy in order to save that of a complete stranger, for no reward other than a thank you, really is a hero. I couldn't do it, I know I couldn't, and my respect for those that do is immense.
That these 'friends' of yours fail to understand just how important what you do is, shows how immature they are, and they are no loss to you.
I work for a company that's involved in fundraising for the RNLI, I know the cost of replacing items of equipment for the crews, and I know how much the British public raise each year just through the raffle; it's a highly respected organisation, and these jokers show it no respect at all.
I only hope that one day, they get into trouble and need a Lifeboat, then you can quietly say that they nearly didn't get rescued because someone's pager was taken...

I clicked on this not knowing what to expect. but asking a forum of people this question!? mate, its one you've got to make yourself, and also one you probably already know the answer to. no-one here is going to be able to tell you one way or another, theyre you're friends, or not as the case may be.

wish you the best of luck with your decision.

I'm highly disappointed to scroll through this whole thread without any photoshopped pics yet. 🙂

I have a mate who is a lifeboat man, at Gravesend on the Thames.
If someone did that to him he would 'go Postal' and start throwing people through windows.

He is normally Mr Passive but he takes the RNLI very seriously (and quite rightly so)

If they are actually worth hanging on to, I'd have sensible chat with your 'mates' and explain why it was not on...

Can i just say im not RNLI, our station is independant

Youhave out grown your friends, you do something they don't understand and which is outside their "norm". A dominant person in the group clearly doesn't like you and is acting as a typical bully hence the wall of silence.

The bond you have with the boat crew is deeper than anything you will get with the group. However you need to make the decision yourself on what to do with the collection of "friends". Personally I think you have outgrown them.

As above. Without meaning to be patronising, you can easily outgrow friends you make earlier in life. And you grow into others. Now I'd have very little to say to my best mates when at school.

Especially when you start new things in life. Those are the times you grow and change. It could be university, or a new job or something - you get to know different people with a different outlook on life, and you get introduced to new stuff.

A prank like that was pretty stupid, but we all make mistakes. 1) they didn't realise how bad it was after you told them, and 2) they could see you were upset and no-one apologised by the look of it.

Both those things make them sound like ****s to me, rather than the original joke.

People your age do daft things without thinking of the consequences. Normally no big deal and it's part of the learning curve but.........

have asked for a donation towards the lifeboat, but every one has refused stating they wernt involved.

come to think of it they did always take the mickey that I did it for free