As many of you know I'm crew of a lifeboat
People i consider to be my friends decided it would be funny to burry my pager and then go home leaving it 'missing to me' on the beach. They watched me walk uo to the coxswain and crew and tell them i'd lost a pager making me look liek a tit infront of both sides and sat back and watched as we all looked for it, even as we set it off to try and find it.
Said friends had been sat ontop of where it had been dug too!
i dont want to be part of a group where that sort of thing goes as a joke,
As a result I canceled my birthday night out on friday and a bbq which all of said friends were invited to on saturday. As quiet rightly i dont want to be any where near people who are malicious enough to do that sort of thing.
Only 1 or 2 have spoken up to me as being disrespectful to them and seriously trying to get me 'to sense' where as the rest of the group have just accepted me walking away, some not even questioning why both events where cancelled.
Have i over reacted or is it time to get a new set of friends?
As it stands ive started hanging around with two of the lads at lifeboat station and have been having a good time as a result as we are on a similar level (obvious because of what we do).
Have i over reacted
Yes.
1. **** 'em
2)
coxswain
*chortle*
He can't read this. Someone's buried his iPad.
there are somethings to joke about and somethings not to.
Things that involve life and work in my opinion fall into the later.
f*** 'em
[i]is it time to get a new set of friends[/i]
If they really couldn't see what their actions meant to you then yes.
If you think they woudl; do the same again then yes.
If they say 'look it went to far and it won;t happen again' then I'd try and put it behind me.
I think they are assholes as you are a volunteer for an emergency service.I dont think you overreacted they sound like immature pr**ks
I don't think you've over reacted.. I personally take stuff involving safety very seriously and people hiding emergency equipment should never be a joke.
My only thought though is are you in a small community where this will run and run...? You don't want to be the outcast for the rest of your life I assume?
If they couldn't see that it wasn't funny when you were looking for the pager then I would say It's a done deal. Don't forget, while you might be stuck with family; friends are who you choose to spend time with. Choose wisely as time is your most precious commodity.
Have i over reacted or is it time to get a new set of friends?
Some people can be very hurtful and nasty, sometimes without realising, maybe you could have a word to let them know that us sensitive souls might not be able to see the funny side. As others have said they sound like a bunch of lady bits.
I clicked on this thread hoping for comedy gold in the vein of "Erm, so I got in a fight today".
I am disappoint.
Your "friends" sound like dicks, if they honestly think that you have somehow wronged them (disrepected them?! what are they? gangsters?), and not the other way around then you are better off without them.
Hardly 'serious' help?!
They sound like knobs and you sound like a drama queen. You did ask!
How did they get hold of the very important pager in the first place?
I have discussed it with them, they all have said its serious and each person denies it.
I have spoken with the and coxswain at the statino and other crew have stepped in to say things like
'we risk our lives for each other, do they?'
'were best mates, you can count on us anytime'
'you can join us when we pop out'
I am 20 on friday and most of the crew range from 34- mid 50's
I have always had a wide range of friends but this group has been my main social focus yet i dont find they thought of not seeing them any more hard...
they sound like penisheads.
but....
without knowing any of them personally it is hard for any of us to say whether or not you over reacted.
as said, don't end up ostracised because of this.
oh, and respect.
[i] i dont find they thought of not seeing them any more hard[/i]
errm, they're just your mates, you're not married to them.
say hello when you see them in the pub and have a chat just don't invest too much emotionally in the whole thing.
You're at the age when you'd be dropping 'mates from school' and replacing them with friends (who you'd have more in common with than just your age) anyway.
there are some things you don't mess with, and this is clearly one of them. my urine would have been boiled.
I live by the sea and see the lifeboat people go out in all weathers for FREE, not being paid, to help save people who are drowning or likely to.
ANY MUPPET WHO FINDS IT FUNNY TO HIDE AND POSSIBLY DAMAGE EQUIPMENT BOUGHT WITH MONEY RAISED BY VOLUNTEERS,AND THE PUBLIC AND MAY RESULT IN A LOSS OF RESPONCE FROM A LIFEBOAT MEMBER, NEEDS TO SERIOUSLY CONSIDER THEIR MENTAL HEALTH DIAGNOSIS AND URGENTLY SEE A DOCTOR.
Fourcrossjohn, email you ex freinds and ask them to donate money to the RNLI, to the value they would have spent on drinks and food for your Barberque, if they refuse or dont respond, theyre no longer to be classed as freinds, and hopefully you will never be called out to rescue them.
Don't take this as patronisingly as it sounds because It's not meant that way but at 20, It's just part and parcel of growing up. Take it in your stride and accept that lots of friends will not be friends for life.
Just be honest with them. Life's so much easier when you're honest.. Just drop them all a joint private message on Facebook explaining why you're p*ssed off/upset, and leave it with that. If they make the effort to put things right then they're worth having as friends. If they don't then you're better off without them.
project, i'm an independent lifeboat station crew member, funds are harder to come by!
Luckily it still works.
I have asked for a donation towards the lifeboat, but every one has refused stating they wernt involved.
come to think of it they did always take the mickey that I did it for free, only one person didnt and he wasnt there at the beach!
time to walk away.
I think it depends on you doesn't it. Some people would find it funny, you obviously didn't and they obviously didn't see a problem with what they did.
So you have to ask yourself...is this the first incident which makes you question your friendship or are there other things which raise questions about your friendship with them.
You're at the age when you'd be dropping 'mates from school' and replacing them with friends (who you'd have more in common with than just your age) anyway.
This. This isn't about you ditching them because they hid your pager, this is about you ditching them because they are the [u]sort of people[/u] that would do that to you..... and you don't want that sort of person as your friend.
I don't think it's that serious - you'll encounter nobbers like this every day of your life and choose not to be friends with them..... you're just correcting a previous mistake (ie: becoming their friends in the first place)
[i]I am 20 on friday [/i]
Or at that age when most of us decide who we actually want to be around, as opposed to those we grew up with.
Just ignore them, and the ones who matter (in future) will approach you and ask why - and maybe the odd one will apologise - they are your friend.
And maybe you are the only one with any actual responsibility, so understand the gravity of what occurred.
Jeez.
Was there not a point where you were able to communicate to them: "FFS, this isn't funny anymore lads"? Sometimes you do shit to mates when you're young and you don't realise how stupid it is until you're told. Yeah, they sound like dicks for doing it but FFS, grow a pair will you.
Why didn't you get someone to bleep the pager anyway?
f*** em. What you are doing is fantastic and worth a lot of respect.
Bury someones shoes etc when having a jolly on the beach by all means but don't bury a bit of communications equipment used to summon you to save lives.
i dd ask them to stop the joke, they denied anything.
and as i stated we did set the pagers off as luckily we were down the station that evening! so every one was arriving as it was lost
[i]I have asked for a donation towards the lifeboat, but every one has refused stating they wernt involved.[/i]
It was a stupid thing for them to have done, but the 20 year olds do stupid things.
However, if none of them are man enough to say "it was meant to be a joke, it was a stupid idea, sorry", and maybe stick a couple of quid in the charity box, then I say screw 'em.
You of course have to accept any apology gracefully.
I live next to the sea , and windsurf alot .
Called out the Lifeboat a few times, helped windsurfers out when in difficulty , been helped out too when i snapped an RRD in half attempting a backie.
Sounds like your mates need to grow up. If you choose to help out for free then good for you . Better than pissing away your entire life away being a looser . As your posting on here you obviously do abit of biking as well .
Find some sensible, adult mates and ditch the pond life . You can still get pissed , not chat up girls, get pissed . The difference is you have chosen something responsible and they are probably jealous , or want to keep you at their level.
Do they not realise there is an outside chance that their little 'prank' might have cost someone their life? Unlikely I know , but not impossible.
Have them all killed! Simple as that! It's the only way to counter their questioning of your masculinity. Their families will understand this
do you think they might be reacting to the "I risk my life to save other people you know" thing you're projecting?
Have them all killed!
No! Save them before they die, you will own them then.
Ummm... I think they sound like dicks, but then I also think you seem like the sort of lad I'd have done this sort of thing to.
Perhaps you should take more care of your pager. Just a thought.
glupton1976 , it was in a safe place so i didnt get it wet when i went swimming!
Sounds to me like they are jealous/envious about what you are doing and can't find an appropriate way of expressing it. I'd say ditch them and spend more time with the crew, will probably be more interesting/less stressful.
A bit over the top
But had you stopped them from reading the Paper or when they asked to
read it you constantly said no buy your own?
think the above would have been the reasons why.
But I think someone should have said something to you
within about 10mins.
general stw mind says screw them then
You sound like a sensitive soul and they sound like dicks - go find some nicer friends - you deserve better
It's ok to decide you don't want to associate with people who don't fit your outlook on life. It can be scary the first time you leave the apparent safety of a group you spent a lot of time with.
I haven't read all the posts.
Move on. Some of the smarter ones may follow you. The rest, well you can find better mates.
call a meeting, explain how you feel, and how it was unacceptable. Don't get angry. That way the air will clear and you'll sort out who is who.
*unts
Serious job, serious implications, some things you don't **** about with.
If we had a shout and i was that last crew member needed to launch and there was a fatality because of the delay in launch and i thought it was my own fault in loosing the pager the guilt would stay with me the rest of my life!
