[Closed] I'm a lucky chap.

Erm...

😕

[i]it does seem a really odd thing to say[/i] about one's wife on a public forum...
😯

think that nurse over stepped the mark a lil bit, might as well have said 'oh you've got a tight fan'e, I bet your husband loves king you, not like me I've had 3 kids and a bucket fan'e'

fervouredimage - your user name is somewhat apt in this situation!!

Cheers

Danny B

" he's a lucky chap".

Seriously?? That's a bit* unprofessional.

I've also got a thing where if i'm about to mention something to do with mrs P, I ask myself "would I be happy with her reading this", on the basis she probably does/might.

You might have failed that test!

Anyway, it wouldn't be very lucky for you if you had an enormous wang, but clearly you don't so all is well 😉

*a bit=hugely

Does she play Wiff Waff ?

as she put in the... You know...

Fist?

I've also go a thing where if i'm about to mention something to do with mrs P, I ask myself "would I be happier with her reading this", on the basis she probably does/might.

You might have failed that test

Very possibly.

🙄

You might have failed that test

I dunno, better than if the opposite was true?

'Hello...ooo..ooo..ooo....'

But yeah, Thanks for sharing. 😕

To the OP. You don't really have a wife do you? There is life outside the front door. Go on, be brave, leave this virtual world.
If you do have a wife I'm sure she will be using those muscles with someone else once she reads this.

Can you put a picture of your wife up please? I'd prefer to know what she looks like before we start discussing the tightness of her foo foo.

If she's hideous it'll put me right off my lunch.

*squeezes pelvic floor muscles*

We may as well shut down the internet now.

Vain girl to vain guy during love-making session:

"Tight aren't I?"

"No, love, just full."

We may as well shut down the internet now.

I'm pretty sure the internet is well versed in dealing with the subject matter being discussed and, indeed, the images the story evokes.

deadlydarcy - Member
Vain girl to vain guy during love-making session:

"Tight aren't I?"

"No, love, just strangely full."

FTFY. 😉

The open, closey thing

Way to reinforce Mrs 16's prejudices about this fine forum in four simple words. 🙁

Oooh, you have strong muscles, I can tell you haven't had any children yet" harmless enough I suppose at this point but then ended with " he's a lucky chap".

Could have been worse. Nurse could have shrieked "OMG I've lost my watch". 😯 😉

I dunno, better than if the opposite was true?

The Glaswegian phrase is "Like chucking a sausage down a close" 😉

I think the English one is 'Waving a stick in the Albert Hall' 😉

London one is chucking a sausage down Oxford Street.

Or indeed like a sausage in a welly
Or a wizard's sleeve?

I'd best stop there...

Could have been worse. Nurse could have shrieked "OMG I've lost my watch".

Or...

Wife : "Err thanks, you didn't need to say that twice"
Nurse : "I didn't!"

"Happy Husband" stitch?

One thing you haven't mentioned... Were you aware of your wife's "talents"?

"Oooh, you have strong muscles, I can tell you haven't had any children yet..

A clown's pocket.

Were you aware of your wife's "talents"?

[img] [/img]

.....

I've just used peterfile's rule...

But about your wife OP, rather than mine

[i]Were you aware of your wife's "talents"?[/i]

[img] [/img]

Nothing wrong there, any man would like to have his penis complimented, why would a woman not like to receive a compliment on the tightness of her hole(s)?

Would have been much worse of they had said " blimey your saggy and a bag of spanners down there, does you husband even touch the sides?"

Nothing wrong there, any man would like to have his penis complimented, why would a woman not like to receive a compliment on the tightness of her hole(s)?

I'm not sure whether I'd want my male doctor to say "well Mr File, I must say, that is a fantastic penis you have, Mrs P is a lucky woman!"

Would be a bit freaked out to be honest and would probably change GP.

I'd give him a big manly bear bug, without putting my willy away.

I'd give him a big manly bear bug, without putting my willy away.

That's one for the bank.

male doctor to say "well Mr [s]File[/s]Hora, I must say, that is a [s]fantastic[/s] beautiful penis you have, Mrs [s]P[/s]H is a lucky woman!"

Actually happened.

[i]Actually happened. [/i]

You were that Doctor?

On a similar vein, I had to have a prostate exam recently. As I manfully tried to imagine I was somewhere - anywhere - else, he said "try to relax, and don't be embarassed, it's quite normal to get an erection during this process"

But i haven't, i said.

"Not you, me"

I'm guessing he was just trying to make an uncomfortable procedure less so?

...like a yawning fox.

[img] https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS94RIUFq4K9pP7-Laui407oT614EmZKKbUMRMrCfqll-EsFP9O [/img]

😆 @theotherjonv

Wwaswas, nope.

Voyeur.

I want to be offended, but I'm laughing too hard 😆

A mate once said that she was lying on the couch, legs spread, nurse ready to "do" when male a doc rushed in to grab something, was like "sorry, ignore me" grabbed whatever it was and rushed out again!! . My mate said we looked looked at each other and burst out laughing. What else could you do!!

They had a sign to hang on the door next time!!

she was lying on the [b]couch[/b], legs spread, nurse ready to [b]"do"[/b] when male a doc rushed in to grab something, was like "sorry, ignore me"

I'm sure she meant this type of "couch"
[img] [/img]

Rather than
[img] [/img]

Like a burst couch

Ahh the wonders of family life on STW 😆

Why hasn't anyone mentioned Badgers..

*ducks head and backs out of thread

I want to be offended, but I'm laughing too hard

Did a little bit of [[b]Enough! Stop it now. The Mods[/b]]

I can only assume the mods have passed out from laughing so havent closed this down yet,

Someone needs to soon mind because my ribs are starting to ach

The open, closey thing,

F - Why that's a large organ you have there......
-
M - Yes, but I didn't realise I was playing in a cathedral
.
..
...
....
.....
......Old joke, I'll get my coat

Nobody has mentioned clowns pockets yet?
Standards are slipping!

Nobody has mentioned clowns pockets yet?
Standards are slipping!

I'd check again if I were you...

Standards are slipping!

...and yet some things remain the same.

Waving a stick in the [s]Albert Hall[/s] Mersey Tunnel

Is the way I know it.

"I met a cowboy wandering around in there. He said he was looking for his horse."

Worst "I've got a tiny cock" post evarrr.

baps like spaniels ears and a fan.e like a welly top springs to mind 😀

maybe the nurse stuck the thingy up the wrong orifice.

maybe the nurse stuck the thingy up the wrong orifice.

That's a blokes smear test that! Checking for skid marks at the end of a good days farting!

I can pretty much handle medical examinations from either sex - it's a job and they've seen many (worse) before.

However, had to laugh when my wife was in labour and midwifes changed shift - enter her old school friend (female) to administer internal examination.

I wasn't allowed to watch 🙁

When my wife had our first, we had so many shift changes, student doctors, etc., there was practically a queue out of the door for people waiting to examine her. Hands up anyone that wants a go - literally.

...Ooooh dear. Nice with breakfast 🙂

I dunno man, if she wasn't offended, I don't see the harm. And if you're online identity isn't join-the-dottable to her[or your] real one then you're probably in the clear, IMHO.

I laughed*

Cheers,

SammyF

*But then I giggled for 15 minutes non-stop in a lecture** on Monday for no reason at all so hard my face went red, eyes too. I had tears rolling down my cheeks and developed a headache that lasted for a day and a half. So what do I know?

**Six Sigma for Business Excellence - I know, right?

London one is chucking a sausage down Oxford Street.

Or indeed like a sausage in a welly
Or a wizard's sleeve?

I'd best stop there...

The Essex one I heard was "like chucking a tic tac down the Dartford Tunnel"

Should we have a "Other halfs fanny/winky" thread?

Should we have a "Other halfs fanny/winky" thread?

Can I propose "That's not a fanjo, it's a fanj-ooh!" as the thread title, please?