[Closed] If anyone is struggling- Please speak out

Hora filling the gaping hole left in the agony aunt world by the demise of Claire Rayner?

your intentions are admirable but like plumbing and the electrics, always seek professional advice.

[url= http://www.samaritans.org/ ]http://www.samaritans.org/[/url]

Samaritans, if you had a creeping alcohol issue would you call the AA until it was too late? (Thats more a question I'm posing than a statement/reply)

I'm stuck in a box!

I have used STW during a few 'dark times' and it is a good half way house between talking to no-one and talking to someone who knows what they are talking about.

Probably not much use when the pills are poured in a pile in front of you but might just pull you back from pouring out the pills to begin with.

Be aware of the unforeseen consequences though, I have ended up as friends with people like Fred/Rudeboy through this approach. I sometimes wonder if the pills were a better option 😉

That's a really touching post hora. Good on ya.

I am in South London for a couple of days, can't get any more depressing than that!

More seriously I do think this is commendable.

Thankyou Hora for posting this.

Thanks hora, good idea. I have had so much support from here when low, it would be great to be able to give some back.

if anyone is struggling, needs anyone to talk to there are many many people on here who would listen

Too right. C'mon folks, professional advice fair enough but I reckon sometimes it's just good to know that there is someone out there who understands . . . just listen . . .

Good on ya Hora!

A lot of people on here can be argumentative arses, but when people have posted for help or advise on a more serious issue then these people and others have shown what kind, helpful and compassionate individuals they are.
Maybe the help and personal experience of certain situations posted on here could spur people on to seek professional help? If so then that can't be a bad thing.

There have been a few suggestions on Jahwomble's thread about donations.
I'm not sure what his family and friends think about it, or the rest of you, but I would like to donate to an organisation or charity which offers support to all sufferers of depression and mental illness or suicide victims. This includes support for family and friends as well as the person with the condition or problem.

If other people would rather do their own thing, that's fine, but if we are doing something "collective" maybe we could decide what the best thing is, or the best place for a donation to go? Going forward with a positive aim and all that.

What do other STWs think?

I was going to type something trite and thought better of it with rememberance of Jahwomble and his family but what I would like to add is: It's a very nice gesture but be careful, the road to hell is paved with the best of intentions.
(aimed at the original sentiment of this thread, not anybody inparticular)

Charity ride?

Today, on this day, the twenty eighth of October, in the year of our Lord two thousand and ten. I stand here...TOUCHED BY HORA.

I feel moist inside.

Nah, fair dues mate.

What WCA said too. Sometimes, one can see that STW is a place where someone who might struggle to talk face to face in the first place, can get things off his or her chest. STW is nothing but supportive when people genuinely need it.

TOUCHED BY HORA.

I feel moist inside.

Now normally I would insert something very rude.....

Not today though. Kudos Hora.

Good idea, hora. I would say that often it is enough just to talk things out.

However, if you find that you're are often depressed when there is nothing particularly bad going on in you're life or if you find yourself starting to think how nice it would be to be free from the responsibility of living then I would seek professional help as soon as possible.

mr smith : samaritains are a help yes... but sometimes some people feel they cant ring them either for help.... if you realy trust a friend then do ask for help in those darkest moments.... it happened to me on another forum and the way i came across to a certain person...they imediately knew how i was feeling so many helpful chats later helped me see the world in a different light from the once darkness that i knew...
so yeah friendscan be very helpful in times of need.... if you feel you cant talk to the professionals... 😉

TOTALLY agree. I mean the start. If there is anything anyone you can just bang out your frustrations to and get another opinion/thought. To put something potentially into perspective. I've been soo stressed over something that I've blown it out of proportion and its then knocked onto something else.

On a personal note this is why I like STW. I re-found this place about 6 months ago when my marriage fell apart and although I've always been a bit of a lurker and haven't posted a great deal you've all kept me company during my meal for one, this starting over is a tough gig.
Cheers Hora.

Does this mean speaking out on STW will no longer involve a lot of piss taking?

Nice one Mark - this place is very supportive once you can see past the p-taking and ribbing.
I've made some good friends through here, and had a lot of advice from some genuinely charitable people. I've also met Hora* 😥

*who is incidentally hosting a group support session* this evening in Manchester.

*STW drinks

I'm not hosting it! I'm only going to be there!! Too much pressure 'why this pub'? 'The route to this pub is shit' 'Why stop here'?

Goon on ya Hora. Sometimes this place gives me the impression that there are lot of muppets on here. Things like this remind you its all just banter at the end of the day and were all just on big happy family!

On the collection front Does anyone know the famiies situation? A few people mentioned he had a young family. The charity route is a realy good option but to be honest if they are struggling financially a pot of money could take away some very unwanted pressure at this time. I mean the siuation is horrific but the prospect of not being able to pay a mortgage or realising Xmas is only 8 weeks away is a pressure they clearly don't need at the moment. Supporting charities is someones name is a good thing but direct support for there family might be even more helpful.

A very admirable post hora 🙂

Thank you for taking the time to write it.

I'm not hosting it! I'm only going to be there!! Too much pressure 'why this pub'? 'The route to this pub is shit' 'Why stop here'?

you forgot "you cut me out of the video when i did a boom gnarly trip to the bar for scampi fries"

Hmmmm,

Whilst well intentioned I would also urge caution. Talking to mates is good - it can help.

But if people are feeling very negative then it is more professional help that is needed.

A friend recently took their own life and, in hindsight, perhaps it was possible to piece together enough bits of information to see the build up. But hindsight is wonderful, and, in honesty, there was no way anyone could have seen where this was heading.

A professional might have.

It is admirable what you have done Hora. But if you (the collective you) ever feel that someone may be heading too far into darkness do try and engage proper help.

Hora..... Good on you for an honest op. Like others comment, this is a good place and it does help to level your head sometimes on here. Helmet opinions anybody.......

whoa, scampi fries!

you could av let me know.

read the OCD thread again, then consider if this is the place to ask for help.....

Off-forum though. Onforum you temper what you say (personalwise) as you don't want any other 'STW'er to think your online 'character' is anything but better than the others?

is offering to help people off-line not suggesting that you're better than the others?

i get the sentiment of the OP, and it's admirable and i'm sure genuine, but I know from personal experience that the Black Dog can't be trained with a pat on the head and a well meaning biscuit

Its a minefield but one can be put off by posting on a public forum. An admission of 'weakness'? Which it shouldn't be.

Amazing what people can discuss on here and good when STW contact turns into "real life" meets/purchases/whatever.

Despite the pi55 ripping, there are some good folk on here.

I imagine we've all had some unique experiences, some pretty dreadful, that can be used to try and others help on various subjects (ahem - not just cars...;-) ) outside just "what tyres to buy" and "what helmet for 5xxx extreme death riding."

Ah-ha, i see it now.
you sharing the everyday minutiae of your bumbling existence and seemingly omnipresent mini life-crises on a cycling forum has put you in a position to advise and help others with theirs.

i should have seen the correlation straight away. sorry.

(Mark i think you should give them Jason's number instead of offering them your advise)

How about a ride round one of Jahwomble's favourtie trails? Ideally a trail centre, then nobody needs to lead it, just have a razz round, give whatever you feel like giving...

Gary he'd just shout down the phone at them.

I wouldn't give any advice. Jeesus, they'd end up with a bike a week and driving 50miles to collect their weekly curry takeaway..

Well done for speaking up mate.

However, my suspicion is that many people in very dark places* tend to think that no-one wants to listen to them; it won't do any good; or that any conversation will just reinforce either their own worthlessness or the futility of life.

*Metaphorically - I don't mean miners, potholers etc.

t the Black Dog can't be trained with a pat on the head and a well meaning biscuit

Extremely well put.

Nice one Hora.

When i was at my lowest and everyone i tried to talk to pretty much said the same thing, i was left with the opinion the i just needed to MTFU.

Even the doctors and pros seemed to suggest that i get a grip and just through meds at me.

The problem i experience whilst suffering the extreme lows, was that any negative points of view, even one in ten positives, they would stand out more than anything good.

Unfortunately on here, to many are quick to pass judgement even with good intent. From a depressives point of view, that can expose the weakness they have that make them feel low.

Suffers need to feel good about themselves and experience a build up of self esteem, that will help them vent and express themselves properly and clearly. Just a few negative or badly constructed opinions may have a bad affect.

We can hide our true emotions on here easily, how many thought i was all happy and joyful with life on the run up to my own attempt to end it all, and eventual disappearance?

For Hora advice and suggestion to truely help, we need to avoid the arguements, such as the ones seen on surrounded by zulu's thread, TJ and SFB petty squabbling and conflicting and damaging opinions(for an example)

In some cases an open discussion will help tremendously, for other deep dark matters, it can be less helpful..

So please for anyone who replies to a 'speak out' thread on here, consider the two mind sets that could be reading your valued thoughts and before pressing 'send post' read it as the person for who it is intended for.

Sorry to get all outspoken.

I have contacted forum members privately when I've seen symptoms of distress, as I have ample experience of despair, though in one case my attempt was rejected outright 🙁 And since the forum has diagnosed me as an autistic sociopath perhaps my interventions are unhelpful anyway...

Even the doctors and pros seemed to suggest that i get a grip and just through meds at me.

it's pointless saying "get a grip" without going into how this can be achieved

TJ and SFB petty squabbling and conflicting and damaging opinions(for an example)

was it ? He claimed I was trivialising depression and that my own experiences were irrelevant, and I felt he was pandering to dependency. There is no one, right answer, and I think we can allow that people are selective in what they take from what they read

🙄

Simon, just for once don't turn this thread round on to you.

Anyway, my intention is its better to have any form to turn to. Its there. It doesn't take long to respond/listen and reply to another likeminded person.

If anything it also helps oneself as it can put your own situation in perspective which can give an equal trade-off?

Yes its a minefield but offering nothing and doing nothing is far worse.

[url= http://www.samaritans.org/ ]Samaritans [/url]

Please call us. Or better still we're always looking for listeners especially night owls, if you think you could help, get in contact with your local branch