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*waves*
I'm struggling at the min with anxiety/ibs, been off sick the last few days with it....I'm still positive i'll beat it in the long run, just so annoying that my brain is making me feel like this.
Anyways just got back from the Dr's with some new tablets so hoping they'll help and i'll be back at work as soon as i can
Good post sharki. ( the first one not so much the rolling eyes:) )
Simon, I think it goes to show how complex these issues are. Unfortunately there is not one cure which suits all. Any problems and or resolutions you may have had may not necessarily help anyone else. People trained within the field will have a wider scope with which they can offer help and advice.
I'm sure you can offer friendship, help or advice to people who experience problems you may have. However train people can have a lot more experience will a lot more variations of the illness than we our own experiences.
It's when someone goes quiet that trouble is ahead.
Having "survived" massive personal loss I can confidently say that the best thing to do is talk talk talk then talk some more. Depression/grief is like building a wall to stop a fast flowing river - very frustrating, seemingly pointless and needs constant hard work but if you falter, you'll get washed away.
Another one that helped was that you are on a tightrope (with grief/depression). At first the drop (to depression) seem massive and obvious so you are all too aware of not "falling off" As time passes the drop appears much smaller (as the grief lessons) but you still need to be on full alert because that small drop will still "kill" you if you fall off it. Be aware of it at all times.
Me and wife made that those when we lost a little one - it helped us a lot.
I know we're not talking about grief here but similar ideas can apply to depression. Our goal was to avoid losing another one of us (me or wife) to depression. Bad enough losing a baby. Even worse to lose another one of us.
Might seem slightly mental to some here though!
Good thread Hora.
I sense you are feeling, like me, helpless that Jahwomble died, and there's nothing that any of us did, or could have done to help him.
Totally agree with what sharki posted.
As for seeking professional help? Hmmm...my various experiences have been very poor and I won't seek help from "health professionals" again. But that's just me, and I know of many people who have been greatly helped.
I personally could never start a thread if I was particularly down, as I'm way too sensitive and struggle to handle judgements on my "good" days.
There are so many different levels of depression/mental illness and as many different ways of finding help.
On a trivial basis some good old laugh out loud threads on STW are what's needed on a daily basis. I have spent ages laughing at binners OCD thread and then clicked on Jaywomble's sticky. It's been one of those strangely memorable weeks.
Hope the new tablets work Houns.
I know that when needed this place can offer more than anybody could imagine. When my Dad was fighting to stay alive and I wasn't coping with the situation too well the amount and quality of support was immense. Others have experienced it too.
Some of us will benefit from writing about their situation here, some won't. If even one person does, Mark's idea is grand.
BTW I suggest some of the more self-centred individuals here read Sharki's post. He knows.
Mat, i see no reason to not include grief as a reason to come here or anywhere to talk about it, share and seek a little wisdom that may help us.
I wish i spoke more about my problems and when i lost a baby, i barely spoke about it to anyone, even the wife at the time...It was as i said, my way of dealing with it, in truth, i needed to talk talk talk talk....
Sorry to hear you're having a hard time Houns, you know where I am if you want a chat.
Having "survived" massive personal loss I can confidently say that the best thing to do is talk talk talk then talk some more
Sometimes it is, but for some people perhaps not. When a person is depressed, they might not be capable of talking about it in any useful way. Depression in some people can distort inter-personal relationships and reactions very badly.
Words cannot describe how I felt on reading that Jahwomble had taken his life.
If there was any way that any of us could have helped him, I know there would have been a queue of people from here jumping straight in.
Hora - when I broke down and started crying, you first slapped me acroos the face and told me to stop whining. Then you took advantage of my fragile mental state do do unspeakable things to me involving flash grenades. I've never been the same since
And you then took me for a drink to console me. Then said you'd forgotten your wallet when we got to the bar
Thanks FC and MrsF. And likewise I'm here any time for you
Sometimes it is, but for some people perhaps not. When a person is depressed, they might not be capable of talking about it in any useful way. Depression in some people can distort inter-personal relationships and reactions very badly.
True enough but they really must talk even if it seems impossible. A mate recently took the same route as Jah - he was bi-polar with the most serious "downs" imaginable. We (mates) all wished we'd talked to him more - none of us saw it coming apart from his poor girlfriend. Not saying talking solves everything but it usually helps.
Sharki - it's a tough one isn't it? A massive blow. We had a period of thinking "what's the point of anything?" but luckily got out of it. Sorry you had a similar experience though. We put it down to sheer bad luck and slightly consoled ourselves in the fact that others have much much worse "luck" and still survive.
For all the doubters.I have had a recent bout of depression and was convinced there was only one course of action.I was stopped from carrying this out,a few of the more frequent folks on here know the incident I am talking about.That was the clincher to deal with an illness I had been suffering from for a long time,and while I would always suggest professional help;The support,offers of riding buddies,etc I got from here was staggering.People I had knocked heads with for years were giving me really good advice and insight,sharing experience,It made me realise that I was not alone.For me? No doubt STW was hugely important.
Good on you Hora.
So glad you are on the mend duckman.
Have wondered from time to time over the last few months how you're doing.
Then said you'd forgotten your wallet when we got to the bar
a trait I fear will be repeated this evening. See you in a bit folks.
Yeah, nice one Hora.
+10 karma points for thou.
There sure are plenty of good-minded folk on here willing to either lend an ear or support in some other way. There are also a few numpties too.
FTR, I spent a couple of years coaching back in 05-08. Not all dark/negative stuff - quite often people who just needed a helping hand to improve or change something (family stuff, relationship, career, personal, health, etc). Strangely (or not), 90% were women - and IIR most were housewives 😆
The upshot is that if you are one such person (you don't have to be a housewife!) and just want an ear to bend, or someone to boomerang off, then feel free to email me (in profile). I'm absolutely flat out with work ATM, but will still do my best to respond ASA reasonably P.
SM
And you then took me for a drink to console me. Then said you'd forgotten your wallet when we got to the bar
Its elusive. Normally because its bloody empty! Plus its a good way of overdrinking something I am actively trying to avoid after over-drinking for too many years when I was younger. 🙁
I've had some experience of depression... my father comitted suicide when I was 5... my mother has suffered clinical depression for as long as I've known her and consequently I battled my own demons my whole life.. surviving a suicide attempt myself when I was 19 (you'd think jumping off a cliff would do the trick... it's not foolproof.. pride comes before a fall and all that I guess)..
I have found that company has usually seen me through though.. even bad company has helped me survive at times..
good company.. from genuinely good people.. people without judgement and with a great sense of humour.. and the ability to make me laugh at myself has proved to be most therapeutic..
I've had help from trained professionals.. drug peddling hedgewitches.. manic depressives and damning aggressives.. tough guys.. hippies.. chavs.. chaucer and churchgoers.. workaholics and alcofrolics (wierdly.. and against medical advice a couple of years under the wing of the town drunk did me the most good)
time is a great healer and you never know what tomorrow will bring are a couple of helpful truisms along with laughter being the best medicine.. a little bit of what you like won't hurt you.. don't judge a man til you have walked a mile in his shoes.. and don't be too hard on yourself are good ideals.. cliches don't become cliches by accident..
If chatting to folk on here helps someone then good.. and if it leads to a couple of pints and a ramble over the hills even better.. don't let loneliness add to your problems..
EDIT: can I just add that the news of Jahwomble was like a kick in the guts.. a real heartwrenching moment.. I enjoyed his posts on here an recognised a few of his issues when he felt the need to bring them up.. a momentously sad event.. I hope you've found peace now fella.
*puts aside tazzy persona for a minute*
a couple of months ago when I was having a very bad time, hora contacted me off forum on my email. Just a brief "are you ok ?" from a stranger made actually feel that my existence had some, albeit small value.
all I can say is good on ya mate, you've got a heart of gold.
xxx
As a manic depressive who suffers from axiety attacks I know all to well that problems can snowball into bigger things. Hora is suggesting that maybe mentioning them before they get to the Samaritans stage can help people and I 100% agree. Professional advice helps yes, but so does friendly advice. I want to thank Hora for posting this and see it as a stepping stone away from the stigma that mental health issues are taboo. Even if your just having a shit day it's good to talk.
Just for the record - I’m more then happy for people on here to DM me if they feel that they need to have a conversation about issues that may trouble them. I am more then willing to provide any help I can based upon my personal and professional experience in dealing with mental health issues.
That said unless you are very local to me that is likely that such help will be mainly ‘sign posting’ and may well involve the suggestion to speak with your GP and accept medication. This is not because I feel that are ‘the’ answer but because they have a place in the therapeutic mix
Thanks for the tread Hora – I do think one of the strength of this forum is the depth and a breadth of knowledge contained within it and despite the trolling and squabbling is fundamentally a caring place
I'd also offer to help but I doubt anyone would find me helpful!
I wasnt going to respond to this thread, not because I feel it is unhelpful, etc, but because I didnt want to raise issues that one or two members of the forum may have felt difficult to discuss. However, seeing that some of those people have already posted, I feel less awkward in adding my opinions. While there is at times a large amount of p**s taking between forum members, which occasionally breaks down into bullying, there is also a great deal of support and comfort to be gained, which for whatever reason is missing in many of our lives at some point. I feel I have made some friends on here, albeit in a sitting behind a keyboard sort of way, but friends all the same. Thanks for posting hora, and as ever, my e-mails in my profile. 😉
Agree with BM. The forum is a good caring decent place, which is why we keep coming back isn't it?
I would [i]always[/i] advocate seeking professional help - although I accept that people will have mixed experiences with available services. That said, Hora is bang on: when you're feeling down, a place like this can be worth its weight in, er, internet gold. IMO, depression becomes frightening when you are unable to pull out of a self-fulfilling spiral. For me, at least, a key element of 'happiness' (or even just contentment) is the feeling of possibility... of something just over the horizon, or just around the corner. It's a very different mental trajectory from feeling like there's nowhere to go, or nobody to turn to. The absurdities and general silliness of STW has, on a few occasions, kept my sails full.
Jusy wanted to add that when I posted about feeling bad, the emails I got from pepole really made a difference to me.
A great post Hora well done you!!
"The Jahwomble Annual STW Charity Pootle" could be an idea and give me something to get my mojo back as long as it was as much about meeting up for a beer as a ride in his honour
Nice one, Hora (although I suspect this is an attempt by him to try and wriggle out of a good kicking and a Chinese Burn at the pub tonight). 🙂
Be aware of the unforeseen consequences though, I have ended up as friends with people like Fred/Rudeboy through this approach. I sometimes wonder if the pills were a better option
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Duckman! Still with us! 😀
WCA's post made me laugh out loud, sorry Elfin.
Meeting you is an overall good experience, but it has left it's scars tbh. 😉
Having a chat with someone when you are down is always a good idea, it can stop it getting worse and worse. Talking with like minded folk who can share their experiences can help you remember you are not alone and others have been through similar things fine.
Offering to help is [i]never[/i] a bad thing.
Meeting you is an overall good experience, but it has left it's scars tbh.
🙁
How is your wife?
Can I have her bike please?
Talking with like minded folk
let's hope I never need forum help then 🙂
When i 'hit the wall' two yrs ago (after the initial crash a yr before that) people on here helped me keep a grip.
Whilst i did find myself with - quite literally - a rope in my hand & the realisation that i needed help & fast, the help from STW was invaluable.
OK, it can't replace the professionals but when you need a conversation at a pace that forces you to really consider what is written (rather than creating your answer in your head rather than listening).
I came close to doing something final, many things helped & STW was one of them.
Well done Hora 🙂
in my experience as a lifelong depressive just having connections is vital, just to talk about experiences. In the worst of times you become dead to life, and just exist in a physical sense. You don't need 'understanding' or 'help' as such, just lots of time by those you can connect to, just to listen. To keep you connected with life.
I think it's extremely difficult for those who haven't experienced depression to understand, but the mistake is they feel obliged to try and understand somehow. But just listening is fine. Certainly with me.
Of course the major issue with depression is you withdraw gradually from the very connections that may help you get through it. Patience (lots of), and gentle persistence by the listener is required, not many can manage it.
Personally professional help comes in at a last resort. I have a consultant, and a nurse who visits regularly, but it's a kind of cold clinical connection. It isn't the connection you will get from genuine friendship or just a companion who listens. My professional care is great at simply keeping me alive, but the few people who take the time to listen are those who are most important, and hardest to find.
A very nice thought Hora, and well done that man, since joining a few years ago i have been really surprised at how people help each other, there is the joking and funny bits, then all of a suden somebody needs advice or help and people rally round.
All i can offer is non judgemental listening, and if youre close enough a hug or arm on the shoulder,sometimes thats all thats needed.
Dont suffer in silence,its not worth it.
Hey everyone, I've been really struggling financially lately and haven't had much time to come onto STW.
Can anyone tell me what happend to Jahwomble? to be honest I dread to ask.
I try and avoid modern living because all of the hardship and pain most people suffer is heart breaking for me. I don't even like going to the shops, everyone is see just seems to be in a bad place.
However STW is a community and in these dark times for our people and these are dark times, we all have to realize that we're in this together.
Anyone in a dark place, as long as there is breath in your lungs there is hope! bare that in mind.
Nice one Hora, as always, I like your style.
Can anyone tell me what happend to Jahwomble? to be honest I dread to ask.
Look at the sticky.
Took me while to figure out what a sticky was, I have very little time to be online.
I normally ignore those post at the top of the page as I thought they where just ads or promotional, I learned that something had happend to jahwomble after I skimmed past them.
In the thread hora posted. thanks!
I will tell people what my life has been like recently, later on.
I don't really feel like it just now.
Everyone reading this who's in a bad way, what ever it takes find the strength to keep going if you can.
I thought my week couldn't get any worse after selling both of my bikes, guess I was wrong.
I don't even like going to the shops, everyone is see just seems to be in a bad place.
I think you tend to see things like this when you're not in a good place yourself. Despite my disagreements with your bearing choices and a few other posts, I hope you're finding ways to work out of such ways of thinking, I've been there, it isn't a place to stay for long.
Kaesae - have you a close riding buddy of same height who can lend you a bike for the odd ride?
Where do you live? I may be able to help.
Edit - just seen Edinburgh. We are too far away. sorry!
Respect to hora for starting this thread with admirable intentions. I guess we are all reflecting on our lives from very differing angles.
Many of us have felt complete and utter despair in a situation and feel embarrassed to speak with our closest friends. We are so confident and capable, right?
Everything in life is here, the best and the worst, and many's a time when I have been touched by people's kindness. Actually, we don't judge cos we know fine well that our own life is far from perfect.
I will always 'listen' to people - I don't want people to feel they are isolated. Sometimes it is easier to write things down and send it to someone who is a stranger. Except they are not, cos they ride a bike. My e-mail is in my profile.
Of course it would be nice if folk could excuse some of my recent postings. My recently diagnosed thyroid problem not only causes physical difficulties but mental ones too and much of my time is spent in a fog.
I like being here. 8)
Best
Thread
Ever
Of course it would be nice if folk could excuse some of my recent postings.
Eh? I've missed that......what I've seen of your recent posts has been absolutely fine. Hope you're ok.
I admire your sentiments on this one Hora. People can be typing on here, completely oblivious or denying their problems. I've done it myself.