[Closed] I think I'm about to be diagnosed with cancer, and I'm fairly scared.

Thinking about you and yours big man

Feel the love brother

Best wishes big man

Feel the STW love

TS

Sorry to hear that man. Modern science is samazing these days. You gotta hope for the best - hope all goes well.

Very best wishes. As said above, at least you know what's causing your problems which has gotta be halfway to beating them - take care and stay strong.

Like most others, I can't give advice but can only send my best wishes and hope for the best for you.

Good Morning!

Last night was a lonely and difficult night at the hospital. I didn't manage to sleep much, and the ward sister was kind enough to let my day release start at 7.00am. So I walked out of the hospital and down into Tunbridge Wells, which was very still and serene. The sunrise this morning was amazing. Meg then picked me up at the train station, and an unusual feeling of calm has taken over us both. Bear with me...

Firstly, it's important for me to let all of you know how significant your responses have been for both Megan and myself. I initially posted on here with the hope that folks could offer advice and knowledge on how to deal with the situation we're both going through. What I didn't expect is the sheer volume of supporting posts from all of you. I am a hard, pragmatic and difficult man to move, yet I have cried a fair bit when reading your lovely posts. I feel very privileged to have been the focus of so many positive comments, so thank you.

For those of you that have had cancer, and have beaten it, thank you. Yours are the tales that I need to get through this, and asking people to share what are sometimes very difficult and painful memories is asking a fair bit, but you all have provided me with really good things to focus on.

Those that have shared their experiences of 'being the other half' in the relationship have given us a unique and vital insight into the way this kind of problem is dealt with. This has been really important for both of us - all I've felt since Friday is guilt; like I've let my Megan and family down by getting ill and putting them under undue pressure. I realise that this is stupid and irrational but I'm not too sure that anything is rational at the moment! We will definitely be in contact with those of you that have kindly offered to correspond with us during this time.

Oh and one other thing.

Meg, who is at best 'sceptical' about the concept of a STW forum, actually checked this thread last night when I was in hospital. Result!!!
More later,

Mark

best of luck mate and hang on in there, gaz

Like everybody else I want to wish you all the best, I hope you make a full and speedy recovery.

All the best Mark, tough times ahead stay strong.

stay positive and strong - use family and friends as pillars of support to get you through the tough times. hopefully you will get the best of care from our national health service. take care.

Hope whatever it turns out to be gets sorted. The only thing I can say is to keep positive at all times, my Mum had a whole load of treatments for the big C last year/year before and is back to her old self again now. I think keeping positive was a huge help to her - she just didn't seem to dwell on it.

Get well soon 🙂

I think it has all been said by others so i just wanted to wish you both good luck.

I don't post on here much anymore but there are times when it's necessary - all I can offer is my best wishes I'm afraid, as others have said try to stay positive.

Nothing here that I can add to what's been said other than best of luck to you both.

[i]Meg, who is at best 'sceptical' about the concept of a STW forum, actually checked this thread last night when I was in hospital. Result!!![/i]

Get past the cliques, the sniping and the in-jokes and we're a caring bunch really!
All the best.

Can't add much to the messages previously posted but my best wishes to you both for the times ahead.

Good to hear from you and nice to hear the fantastic and supportive post on here have helped you and Meg. Keep your spirits high and no this is no ones fault but life it really does deal some cruel cards at times, the heart ache I see people go through at work can be emotionally. People react in different ways but good to see you one the positive approach. Nice to see the hospital staff being human too and not job worths. Best of luck again.

Lee

Best of luck for tomorrow.

Mark, your post crystalises those fears that anyone touched by cancer will always harbour.
I am lucky to have an extended family that is reasonably healthy, but 15 years ago my brother had bowel cancer and it changed how I view health. I now take very little for granted and appreciate life more as a result.
Sincerely hope for the best possible diagnosis and outcome for you.
All the best.

It's worth bearing in mind that this could be caused by many other (non-terminal) conditions apart from cancer, such as infection or autoimmune diseases. Fingers crossed.

Here's hoping all goes well tomorrow

I'll be thinking of you both

Fingers crossed from me also. It may well be something other than cancer but if it is try and stay as positive as possible. A lot of Cancers are very treatable these days and the treatments are not as harsh as they used to be. I was diagnosed with cancer last October and am pretty sure I am free of it now (subject to a final scan in September). I was treated with a combination af radio and chemotherapy. My advice is, as others have said, to always have someone with you and/or a notebook during consultations because it's so easy to forget what has been said. Take things one step at a time and make sure you find as much information about your condition as possible. The Lance Armstrong approach is a good one.
Wishing you all the very best luck.
Jonathan

All the best to you, Meg and the family circle. You are in my prayers.

all I've felt since Friday is guilt; like I've let my Megan and family down by getting ill and putting them under undue pressure. I realise that this is stupid and irrational but I'm not too sure that anything is rational at the moment!

I think thats very normal, though it is obviously irrational (but [b]not[/b] stupid). I know it's what my dad did when he was waiting for results, to the extent of not telling my brother at all. He said talking it all through with me and being honest about what he felt was a big help. His tests for bowel cancer were negative, hoping that yours are as well.

Hope you're both doing ok today.

thinking of you. xx

Best of luck, and as others have said if its caught early the odds are so much better, and you have to remember that being diagnosed with cancer doesn't mean that that's it, people do recover and live long happy lives.

Also another thing to bear in mind in most hospitals visiting hours aren't set in stone, so if you speak to the ward sister you will find that if you need someone to come in at anytime they can, so you don't have to sit up all night on your own.

All the very best for a good recovery - keep positive, both of you.

Pete aka Woodsman

all the best fella hope it turns out ok, my dad recently was told he had mesothelioma and after chest drain , surgery and tests altho he has asbestos on both lungs , plural effusion, plural thickening and plural placs its all benign so was a great shock but a good one.

goes to show that even the docs first diagnosis can be wrong there is always hope. and if worse thing happens stay strong and fight it. my aunt and two lads from my shift have had different forms of cancer and are all sorted now

good luck and best wishes to you and yours
mick

Tough news dude..

My mum had an aggressive form of breast cancer, she stayed strong for us, but I heard her cyring when she didn't think I was there.. it broke my heart every time. Be honest with your family and support each other through whatever the future holds

Whatever the diagnosis, stare it down, give it hell and we'll see you on the trails soon

Keep strong in mind mate

Nothing more to add other than my very best wishes and thoughts also.

Very best of luck

Taz

The very best of wishes.
Until last Thurs I, too, had not had any experience of cancer but then me dear old Mum was diagnosed with bowel cancer - she goes under the knife this Thurs - the numbness is overwhelming but reading this thread has been very calming/soothing/whatever. Hope things pan out positively for you.

toxicsoks, just incase you don't know if bowel cancer has been detected early the survival rates are very good (over 90%).

All the best from me too fella.

toxicsoks my mother had the same 5yrs years ago, surgery and a bit of chemo and she beat it. NHS Scotland tried to put her on a 6 week waiting list until we cracked the whip, sent angry letters to everyone we could think of, they operated the very next week. Sounds like your mum is getting well looked after, good luck to you and her too.

As a NHS, er, professional, I'm well aware of the survival rates, disease processes and treatments. I see patients on a daily basis with haematological (blood) cancers and I thought I was 'immune' to the blind panic/horror of it all......................but when it happens to you or someone close..............well, it's a a totally different ball game.
Thanks for your good wishes and let's all support Mark in whatever way we can.

Blimey. Not caught this thread yet but it has certainly put a sock in my whinging gob for the day...
Seriously though, wishing you nothing but the most supportive of vibes from the takisawa family mate.
Not going to dwell on the big C fears, suffice to say its rampaged its way through my family so you are truly in our thoughts mate.
ATB
PT

Best wishes to Toxicsoks mum and her family as well.

Ive also wished Mark the best earlier on

Hey,

Sending healing vibes your way.

Stay strong, best wishes and good luck from the PCB family.

I have nothing to add that has not already been said. Hope all goes well.

godd luck to you and your family.Martin

You've no idea how inspiring your attitude is.Like others I can't offer advice or experience but want to wish you all the best,your attitude is already in place & I think this will stand you & your family in good stead come what may.All the very best,
Simon.

Mark & Meg,

I've never been where you are as such, but 4 years ago my Son (Bruno) was diagnosed with Leukaemia when he was nearly 3. Worst day of my life. There is still a little part of me which is still numb from that day, however, that being the worst day means that every day since has been better.

He was very ill at the time of diagnosis, but the shortened version is that he finished his treatment last November and in 3 weeks time he turns 7. He (we) came through it and life is back on track.

I hope that your news isn't the news that you fear, but if it helps, the things that we felt we were able to contribute to the fight were staying positive and trying to be as 'normal' as possible, and feeding him the healthiest food possible.

The feeling of helplessness and lack of control is the resounding memory from the period, but we're the lucky ones.

That's the thing to remember, bad news is only bad news because good news exists and bad luck can only be suggested because good luck persists.

Even in the time that Bru was receiving treatment, the treatment protocol changed to the extent that the treatment is very different today to that of 4 years ago. Treatment for Cancers get better every day and they are brilliant.

Keep positive in the knowledge that you have the collective positive thought of STW with you too.

Positive thoughts and wishes,

Stu.

Hello to all. Mark is still in hospital but he wanted me to put something on here this evening (I am Megan, Mark's other half).

We still have no answers which is very difficult - though reading some of your comments I'm realising that perhaps we didn't understand that this is going to take some time. Mark had his CT scan today, more blood tests and another chest x-ray. He is having more scans and tests tomorrow. I know he will want to update you all when he is allowed home.

I've never posted on a forum before, but I have been amazed at all your supportive comments. All I can say is thank you, they really do make a difference. I would also like to send my best wishes to all of you who are going through your own difficult times at the moment, thank you for sharing your own experiences and showing Mark (and me) that he is not alone.

Hopefully next time Mark posts he will be out of hospital with some good news!

Megan

We all like to argue, bitch and bicker on this here forum, but when the shit hits the fan its great to see everyone being so positive, helpfull and careing.
Mark/Meg I thought about you today. worrying about your diagnosis even tho' Ive never met you, and probably never will!
Lets have a massive STW group hug !
Good to read your post too Stu

.....Keep your chin up. Keep positive.

Dunno what else to say that hasnt been said.

Thanks for the update Megan - and a very well written 'first forum post' 🙂

Hope you get some positive news tomorrow.

Meg, who is at best 'sceptical' about the concept of a STW forum, actually checked this thread last night when I was in hospital. Result!!!

That's a result??? What happens when you're ordering bike parts in 6 months time and you don't realise that she's monitoring your internet usage???

A tad less facetiously: good luck on the morrow, and Meg, if you read STW more often you'd realise that under the gruff heartless exterior most of the people who post on here are big wet softies. Especially the northerners 🙂

You're in my prayers

Message for Meg.
Being the carer of someone you love is often the hardest thing to do. When my other half was diagnosed with cancer I felt I had to be strong and supportive in front of him yet I dissolved into tears the moment I was on my own. Please dont try to do this alone -its too big and too hard. I dont live very far away so email me if you want to chat/let off steam or simply want to sit with someone else who has been though it.

Thankfully another happy story here as in 6 months the 5 year cancer free target it hit and much celebrations will be had!

There's not a lot I can add beyond what everyone else has said, from personal experience with my father's cancer the following are helpful to us though:

Take a notebook along and write down what's said, it makes such a difference afterwards to have it there rather than try and remember.

If you've got questions you want answers to from the doctors then write them down before your consultations, before you leave read through the list and make sure you have an answer written against each one. It can really save the "Oh I wish I'd asked that" moments afterwards

If you're not happy with your doctors or what they tell you then ask where / who can offer a second opinion and then take it.

People like MacMillan Nurses can be tremendous allies even if it's just at cutting through hospital red tape for you. Even if you think it's not for you give them a try rather than say no straight away

Never underestimate the power of a positive fighting outlook!

Really thinking about you both and wishing you all the best. Get well soon 🙂

Best wishes from me and my Mrs. Good luck and stay strong.

Hi. Sorry to hear your (potentially) sad news.
I went through a kind of similar problem a few years ago at uni. I was in a coma for six weeks and the neurosurgeons and consultants told my parents that they didn't expect me to come out of the coma, or even last the night! I did last the night and when I came out of the coma the following morning, my parents were told they needed to arrange disabled access to our family home, as it was unlikely I would be able to walk again due to the head injury sustained during some Russian cossack dancing (don't ask!). I regained my mobility fully after about six weeks' physiotherapy and thankfully I live a normal life and have no physical restrictions, so I'm still fully able to continue my favourite hobby - cycling! So, specialists can be right, but also even when the odds are stacked against you, someone is watching over you. I believe your days are numbered - that is The Man Upstairs has planned your every breath - even in life's turmoils. It wasn't my time to go nine years ago. Whatever will be will be - because worrying never added a day to anyone's life. Hope this helps. Dan

Thank you for taking the time to update us on Mark's (& yours) progress Megan.
Good luck and best wishes for the times that lie ahead, we're all thinking of you.

It makes me smile to know that the STW'ers are a bunch of good eggs really. I have fortunately very little experience i can share or any advice. I just want to add another stone of good luck to the mountain of support given already.... good luck & stay strong Mark, and Meg.

All the best mate and good luck
me and my family have just come through this with my mom
it's hard but just try to stay positive
take care steve

The STW's aren't a bad bunch at all, and it restores my faith in humanity to think that people put their differences aside and group together and offer their support. I really wish you the all the best.

My thoughts are with you at this time and i wish you both the very best, good luck.

Good luck - my best wishes

paul

MrsMM and I have an invite to a party on saturday, sadly we can't make it....
Why am I telling you this?

Because its an 'End of Treatment Party' for the 5 year old son of good friends - he was diagnosed with liver cancer last year - with the help of the NHS and his family, he has come through it... 😀

Keep positive (I know that's all too easy a thing to simply say...)

Our thoughts are with you.
Chris & Sharon

Thanks for the update Meg. Like others have said, underneath all the crap on here, it's a really special place. Keep us informed of how you two are doing.

Thoughs are with you, I know what your going through, staying positive is absolutley vital. x

All the very best. Thinking of you.

Hope he is keeping his chin up - thoughts/wishes with you both.

I know that there's nothing meaningful that I can add to what so many people have already said - you've all said it better than I ever could too.
Anyway, from Karen and me - all our best wishes, positive thoughts and love go out to both of you.

Good luck to you both. I can't add to what's already been said, so i won't try but one thing that someone up there said is so simple but so valid that it needs repeating

worrying never added a day to anyone's life

Treat each day as it comes, and try to smile a little every day.

All the best. Stay positive.

I'd like to think positive vibes help the healing process, so I'm throwing some out there too. With the support of the whole forum just think what can be acheived 😛

You are both in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong for each other.

Wow, it's genuinely moving how many amazing and thoughtful responses are in this thread. All I can do is add my support.

My wife had a bit of a cancer scare recently so it's something we talked about, and a conclusion that we came to is, firstly, that even though it might be scary as hell: it's better to know.

I can imagine for some, as has been mentioned in a previous comment, actually finding out and knowing what you have (or may not have) can be a relief. If you are unwell, your first and foremost concern is to dig deep, fight, and get well again.

Good luck & stay positive and strong.

Mrs. Willard's mum had a nasty form of cancer a few years ago. She went through a lot of chemo and bone marrow transplant, but she beat it. It was tough on both her and her husband, but she never quit, nor did the rest of the family.

People out there love you and are rooting for you. We're here for you and will do our best to pick you both up.

Chin up.

James

not much to say but all the best Meg and Mark!

I came through cancer a couple of years ago, and i know the scary process it can seem at times... an at others - it feels like its happening to someone else and your just watching a film of the events.

Best wishes to you both. Stay strong.

Thoughts from the G family too.

Mrs G's Dad and my Mum have both been through it.

All the best. Leon and Sharon.

Time for an update.

Its bad news. I was informed this morning that the likelihood is that I have a primary and secondary cancer. The secondary are hotspots on my bones, which is worrying, but the Dr's have told me that a bone marrow test on Thursday is the best way to find out the location of the primary cancer and what it actually is. I think I scared them with my matter-of-fact attitude towards the whole thing, but as yet the only person that knows just how terrified I am is Meg, who can see right through me. I'm not worried about the fight; I know I can do that part, its more the effect it has on those I love thats causing me grief...

With regards to the cancer, I don't know how the hell I'm going to deal with it, but I will. I intend to nail this mofo to the floor, or at least go out kicking, screaming and getting my monies worth.

I cannot thank you all enough for all your words of support. Meg and I have got to scuttle back to the hospital now, and I feel pretty lost without email or even the internet, but it's always nice to come home for a while and catch up. I don't know when I'll be able to do this again, but I'll try and make it ASA.

Thanks folks,

M&M

i feel quite humbled by your attitude to this. i really hope that you do indeed "nail this mofo".

i wish you both everything that you need.

I'm amazed at your attitude and openess about all this, I wish you all the luck in the world.

respect to you petesgaff,believe me you will kick it's ass!!!the best of luck mate!!!adam

That's not good news - sorry to hear it.

Good luck with the treatment. They can do so much more now than they could even a few years ago. All the best.

The very, VERY best of luck to you both. Attitude is everything, and your positivity will go a long way during treatment. You can do it!!!! 🙂

I think a Positive Mental Attitute can can be very beneficial IMO with coping with this sort of thing - don't deny its happening but keep positive that you can beat it. Fingers Crossed for you ! 😀

best of luck to you Mark, I really wish the news was better for you but i applaud your attitude, you give it hell my son.

I'm sure I speak for all the STW massive when I say that we'll be with you all the way.

Mark sorry to hear the diagnosis, now you fight and if you or Meg ever need anything just ask.