[Closed] How to sort this one out?

and its wrong to objectify wimmin with phrases like 'little perky redhead'

Using adjectives is not objectification. All we know about her physically is that she's small, she's perky, and she's a redhead.

if a wimmin turned round to me and said they were in love with another man, married or not, then thats a pretty big slap in the underbeard that its time to move on and find someone who isn't already in love with somebody else.

Read between the lines!

i am reading between the lines, she's telling mboy she's in love with another man. you're the one encouraging him to go for it 😛

for the record, and i'm pretty sure i can talk for ALL wimmin around the world on this one having once shared a train carriage with a wimmin.... when a wimming tells you she's in love with another man, its not a challenge to fight for her, its her saying she's in love with another man. if it is a challenge then she's playing games with you and she's not worth chasing after. so basically, either way, its a "GET OF MY TRAIN YOU WHORE!" situation

How about a picture of a red squirrel licking a sap?

[img] [/img]

Phil - I look at married women, lesbians and women that tell me to "f' off you creepy weirdo" all in the same way... it's only a matter of time before they wake up to the fact that they want me.

i am reading between the lines, she's telling mboy she's in love with another man.

You are reading the lines, not between them!

Mrs Grips said she was in love with another man when she met me - should I have let it go?

should I have let it go?

So many answers, so little time...

Mrs Grips said she was in love with another man when she met me - should I have let it go?

😕 Is he dead now?

No, he's getting on with his life in the same town Mrs Grips is from. We have yet to bump into him...

[b]We [/b]have yet to bump into him...

Yes, we, because whenever we go back there I am with Mrs Grips. Plus I don't know what he looks like.

Neither mboy or little perky redhead (LPR for short) are, afaik.

Loving the acronym. Sums her up pretty well! I think she'd like it anyway... 😉

Phil - I look at married women, lesbians and women that tell me to "f' off you creepy weirdo" all in the same way... it's only a matter of time before they wake up to the fact that they want me.

The problem here is I don't have the same level of denial that you posses! Shame, cos it sounds truly blissful on your planet... 😉

If she is 27 play her this video it may help

V funny but quite true... I know quite a few women that have felt, or do feel like that. One of my longest friends is 32, she's been single a year or so now for the first time since she was about 17, and apparently her parents keep giving her grief about when's she going to find someone, get married, give them grandchildren etc... Bit unfair IMO!

for the record, i still think mboy deserves beterrer. if a wimmin turned round to me and said they were in love with another man, married or not, then thats a pretty big slap in the underbeard that its time to move on and find someone who isn't already in love with somebody else.

Maybe I do, maybe I don't. Maybe she deserves massively better than the prick who's been leading her on at arms length for ages. I think in her own mind she knows that if any of her mates found out about the married bloke, they'd give her a real roasting. That and though I don't really know them that well yet, I live with one of her best mates and have met a few of the others, and from what I've been told the feedback was good.

How about this radical idea:

Two people like each other, two people hang out, have sex, are open and honest, and have a good time.

I totally agree. Not exactly radical, but would be perfect if it just worked. Am 99.9% sure it won't just work though if the married guy is still texting her with false promises like "I'll be out soon, just give me a couple more months, it'll all be done and I'm yours forever then" or the like, as she'll be thinking about him.

molgrips - Member
Two people like each other, two people hang out, have sex, are open and honest, and have a good time.

Yeah, like that's ever going to catch on!

I've had and have friends on both sides of the fence in this situation. No matter what you do, her head will be facing in his direction.

It's not often I agree with Hora....

I've got 'a friend*' with pretty good first hand experience on this front. He'd been seeing a married woman for 3 years who had constantly threatened to leave her husband but never did. It pretty much did for him, depression, suicide attempts - the lot. He left his long term partner to be with her, moved out of his home and basically turned his life upside down to be with her to no avail. Many times he tried to break it off with her and find someone else, but all he ended up doing was going back to the married woman and at the same time, causing massive upset to anyone else he saw. Being in love with her meant that as soon as she showed him some interest, he'd drop whatever and whoever and run back to her. He even started going out with other people to see if he could have a relationship like he wanted with her - a test if you like - and when he realised he couldn't he dropped them like a stone and went back to the MW. A truly horrible way to treat someone, something he's not proud of.

Regardless of the married man's morals (or lack of), she's sleeping with someone else's husband and thus as guilty as he is. She puts little value in the whole marriage thing, and probably the value of having just the one relationship. Additionally she'll probably have enormously low self-confidence as a result of being second best all the time, something you'll be lumbered with addressing if you decide to go ahead.

My advice to you would be to avoid like the plague. If she's in love with him as she says she is, that flame will never be extinguished. By entertaining her, you're lining yourself up for a world of hurt - she WILL cheat on you and she will go back to him, whether he leaves his wife or not. What she's doing is thoroughly destructive to all involved, including you if you decide to carry on with this.

No good will come of this.

*Make of that what you will

Sorry but I haven't read the whole thread.

The reason this girl hasn't told her friends about the married chap, is that they would all tell her to stop being so stupid, that he won't leave his wife and she should forget him. All sage advice from friends who care for her.
However it's like alcoholism, she can only do this by herself.

I would be honest with her and hope that she comes to her senses.

Good luck mboy. If we meet i will buy you a cheering up pint 🙂

You deserve better. Not all women like bastards to treat them mean..

Oh and MTFU

The problem here is I don't have the same level of denial that you posses! Shame, cos it sounds truly blissful on your planet... 😉

I'm going to take it from the wink that you can at least tell when some people are taking the piss...

I'm going to take it from the wink that you can at least tell when some people are taking the piss...

You do put a smile on my face from time to time TSY, for that I give thanks... 😆

Good luck mboy. If we meet i will buy you a cheering up pint

You deserve better. Not all women like bastards to treat them mean..

Maybe, just not the ones I meet. Well, not quite all of em. For one or two, there was just nothing I could do good enough, so I was always the bastard! 😕

Oh and MTFU

I'm not sat moping, don't worry... Off out for a bit with a couple of mates later on, guys who know me very well. Gonna run this one past the both of them, see what they say too...

Regardless of the married man's morals (or lack of), she's sleeping with someone else's husband and thus as guilty as he is

No, she had slept with him, and may or may not have known he was married at the time.

Am 99.9% sure it won't just work though if the married guy is still texting her with false promises like "I'll be out soon, just give me a couple more months, it'll all be done and I'm yours forever then" or the like, as she'll be thinking about him.

Not necessarily - because if you are more awesome she'll forget about him.

Not necessarily - because if you are more awesome she'll forget about him.

You got any Awesome you can lend me molly? 😉

Sadly I'm probably a little mediocre these days, though at least my age (and the fact I look a lot younger than I am) acts in my favour these days...

There is another possibility. She's tactfully giving you the bums rush.

Having chatted to her about your relationship issues, she now feels she can't back out of seeing you without hurting your feelings. So - she invents another relationship (which is why none of her friends know about it) and is "too busy" to see you. Far from being the harlot some have painted her as, she is actually trying to be kind.

How's that for trading between the lines?

women are like cats, evil geniuses....with no heart. They'll catch a mouse, play with it, fk it up and then leave it somewhere so they can always go back and play with it a bit more if they get bored mangling the latest one they've got their claws into.

the only way though this mboy is to live a sad and lonely life with only a collection of bikes company.......

How to sort this one out?

Flash grenades ....shock and awe

mboy it's my new 'tough love' methodology... the next stage involves sandpaper.

On this thread I feel love is being confused with lust, addiction, emotional dependance, dispair, loneliness... .

If she expresses doubt, don't bother. Unless the lust, addiction, emotional dependance, dispair and loneliness are stronger than your powers of reason.

Edukator - there's a thread down there with your name written all over it!

On this thread I feel love is being confused with lust, addiction, emotional dependance, dispair, loneliness... .

Not got enough evidence for that, have we?

If she expresses doubt, don't bother.

Jesus.. what a crazy world you must live in!

You got any Awesome you can lend me molly?

If she's the right girl then you'll be plenty awesome enough! By definition, in fact.

druidh - Member

So - she invents another relationship (which is why none of her friends know about it) and is "too busy" to see you.

I had exactly the same suspicion. A woman who has such a deep secret that she won't share with any of her mates, but will willingly and without any hesitation share with some bloke which she hardly knows, and therefore presumably not in a position to entirely trust, just doesn't ring true to me.

I think she's playing you, and probably stringing along a load of other guys as well as you. Doubt she is genuine.

I can't see a thread with my name on it and can't see any posts from a member called Jesus either. As the temperature has dropped below 30 a walk rather than trying to work it all out is in order.

So far being aware of the level of enthusiasm/commitment of others has kept my world pleasantly uncrazy. One-sided relationships might work, but not for very long. Go in equal or don't bother.

I had exactly the same suspicion. A woman who has such a deep secret that she won't share with any of her mates, but will willingly and without any hesitation share with some bloke which she hardly knows, and therefore presumably not in a position to entirely trust, just doesn't ring true to me.

Much as I'm sure I've been fobbed off for similar reasons in the past, definitely wouldn't ring true here. Just too many conflicting issues. She definitely likes me, that much is obvious, and that's like as in more than just suitable for a quickie...

I think she's playing you, and probably stringing along a load of other guys as well as you. Doubt she is genuine.

Already pulled this one on her, made a joke out of it. Underneath her outwardly outgoing and confident persona, she's very shy. From speaking to her, her ex BF cut her up in a bad way, and she's only been near a couple of men since. I'd have been warned if she was a man-eater by my housemate anyway.

The thing is, none of us were there so we really don't know. I think that we are projecting our own tendencies onto this woman, who may not even exist for all we know.

I'm a romantic, hence I imagine a trustworthy girl who is crying out for a good man...

Already pulled this one on her, made a joke out of it. Underneath her outwardly outgoing and confident persona, she's very shy. From speaking to her, her ex BF cut her up in a bad way, and she's only been near a couple of men since. I'd have been warned if she was a man-eater by my housemate anyway.

Fair enough, but at the moment your playing second fiddle to a married man, if she really likes you then she should be willing to give you a chance, if she were to end it with married guy, wouldn't give her an ultimatum though, just say you would like to take the relationship further and see what she says. (I've not read the whole thread so don't know the full story.

Quite surprised how little some of the men on this thread seem to know about women tbh!

Face it molly, we all know F all! Any man that thinks he's cracked it with women, well... That's recipe for egg on the face very soon!

Fair enough, but at the moment your playing second fiddle to a married man, if she really likes you then she should be willing to give you a chance, if she were to end it with married guy, wouldn't give her an ultimatum though, just say you would like to take the relationship further and see what she says. (I've not read the whole thread so don't know the full story.

Yeah, think you're right, and we'll see... I will be nothing but as charming as I can be, whilst also giving her time and space. Make her want me!

I know a bit more than f all, which is why you should listen to me 🙂

Quite surprising how some men think they know about women 😉

Out of interest... how would guys on here let down a girl who they liked, but not in [i]that[/i] way?

How would you do it to let her retain her dignity if you felt she was vulnerable?

Not saying that's the case here BTW.

It would be nice to take a time machine 20 years into the future to ask you how much you yourself knew about women 20 years ago, Molgrips. I suggest any man claimning to know more than very little about women is deluded. Knowing their effect on yourself is perhaps more important.

i think the solution TSY is to shag her mate and tell her she is ugly.

i dont go for this women are unknowable stuff its relationships that re hard whatever your gender and in that respect I agree we may all know the sum total of f all. When it works its easy when its going wrong nothing you can do will save it.

In answer to TSY. Behave totally unresaonably for a couple of months being an utter loser and lousy in bed, then walk out in a hissy fit having provoked an argument in which she was right and held the moral high ground.

flippinheckler - Member
Quite surprising how some men think they know about women

often internet dwellers, too!

Just tell her there's plenty more fish in the sea and she should shag around a bit and have some fun. Then offer your shoulder to cry on.

I think in her own mind she knows that if any of her mates found out about the married bloke, they'd give her a real roasting.

She does sound nice though mboy and it is very attractive to be 'pursued' but at the end of the day it's a balance between risk and possible reward.

FWIW my little 'dilemma' from a few months ago is going rather well and I had quite a few changes of heart before finally taking the plunge.

Has FatSimon posted on this thread yet?

🙂

From speaking to her, her ex BF cut her up in a bad way, and she's only been near a couple of men since.

Well I would give that one fairly low marks for lack of originality. I'm fairly sure I've used it myself. As did Tony Curtis when he tries to pull Marilyn Monroe in Some Like It Hot.