[Closed] How To Be An Artist

Surely learning to paint/draw, etc. would be better

Theres nothing in there about cutting and pasting 🙂

EDIT: Its also not 'Anon' and would be better titled "How to make a living publishing self help books written with felt tip pens"

No mention of the curatorial led doe-eyed audience to fawn over your work either.
So a bit misleading imho

what about learning the difference between an easel and a weasel?

How to be an eight year old girl.

Draw on the walls? On the walls? My kids would get a severe bollocking for that, at the very least. You sir, would be in for an even less pleasant surprise. 😡

Anon is a 13 year old girl, who likes My Chemical Romance, and I claim my £5.

An ex-mate of mine professes to be a photographer ...

The key is to fool some of the people all of the time - and learn how to justify with copious amounts of bullshit.

Much the same as the original post 🙄

I get enough of this pseudo deep and meaningfull b0ll0cks plastered all over Facebook, surely we can keep STW free of it...

I blame that Desiderata rubbish. I had to read it out at a wedding once. Mortifying.

OP should have titled it "How to rub grumpy STWers up the wrong way."

OP should have titled it "How to rub grumpy STWers up the wrong way."

Shurrup, you. Or I will rub you up the wrong way.

a piss artist?

you mean like this?

My work explores the relationship between Bauhausian sensibilities and life as performance.

With influences as diverse as Kafka and Buckminster Fuller, new insights are synthesised from both orderly and random narratives.

Ever since I was a child I have been fascinated by the theoretical limits of the universe. What starts out as undefined soon becomes corroded into a hegemony of power, leaving only a sense of failing and the prospect of a new beginning.

As subtle replicas become transformed through emergent and personal practice, the viewer is left with a new agenda of the inaccuracies of our world.

http://www.artybollocks.com/

nice...

An ex-mate of mine professes to be a photographer ...

I think everyone has one of those, just need a DSLR and the belief in your meagre talents.

That is proper bollocks. Brilliant!

What a load of pseudo hippy bollox.

I used to teach art many moons ago, never needed to do any of that shite.

arguably not the best and not arty as such, but definitely my favourite piece of critical theory bollocks
http://www.physics.nyu.edu/faculty/sokal/transgress_v2/transgress_v2_singlefile.html

i would also submit the disumbrationist school. surely there are some people on stw who could give this a good shout...
http://reverent.org/bad_painting_contest.html

Surely learning to paint/draw, etc. would be better

Stuckist!

Just ordered a moonbath online.
I have read 'The Tiger That Came To Tea' ,but still not sure about
inviting someone dangerous to visit.
My inner child just had a tantrum,so I sent him out the room.
I gave a pound to a stranger ,now it's time for a power nap.

😆 at fasthaggis

Play with everything.

SEND THIS TO 10 FRIENDS OR YOU'LL HAVE BAD LUCK FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

LOLROFLMAO

I think comparing the OP's post to anything in Artybollocks is overselling it. As i say the original post isn't 'Anon' its from a canon of work by Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy (although Comic Sans would be more apt than Ariel) - someone who makes self help and motivational posters with coloured felt-tip pens. Other great and inspirational works in her canon are

"how to really love a child"
"just for a mom"
"being a wonderful friend"
"dog are miracles with paws"
"cats are angels with fur"
"how to relax about money"
"how to really be alive"
"ways to be with angels" (presumably for when you've exhausted ways of being alive)
"Being a succulent wild woman"

and so on. No well meant advice about how to deal with your work being regurgitated on geocities, myspace and facebook for the entire history of the internet, uncredited, in the mistaken believe that its some sort of ancient nobel truth, rather than a glib bit of printed teatowel philosophy.

Well that's how you know it's complete rubbish.
No one can love dogs *and* cats.

No-one else really inspired by it then 🙁

[img] [/img]

Maccruiskeen - you're going to have to explain why you're so familar with the works of this visionary 'Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy '..

It was the word "anon" at the bottom, that caught my attention as Baz Luhrman had a bit of hit in the popular music charts reading someone else's inspira-blog about sunscreen out loud and not crediting the author. Googling the first line shows that this one its been cut and pasted into forums and blogs for decades - and in many instances the author is credited.

"how to really love a child"
"just for a mom"
"being a wonderful friend"
"dog are miracles with paws"
"cats are angels with fur"
"how to relax about money"
"how to really be alive"
"ways to be with angels" (presumably for when you've exhausted ways of being alive)
"Being a succulent wild woman"

I have to say, some of those titles nearly induced an involuntary puke response, they're so twee

Well get ready to make a call on the big white phone to O'Rourke - because you can buy them as audio books.

Or should that be audio boaks

Just drink loads.

How to be a piss artist

[img] [/img]

any many, many more:

http://www.despair.com/lithographs.html

and in many instances the author is credited.

a mate of mine claims to be a photographer and has some success in persuading pretty young women to remove their clothes to prove it.