[Closed] How stupid are criminals? Very.

sort of develops until you say 'hang on a minute. How the **** did I end up here?!"

this for me....

when your guy can't supply you and gives you his guy's number.

there was money in it, but dealing with some shady characters and then watching some documentary featuring some Kiwi who got 5 years after being caught dealing in a club was the nail in the coffin for me.

much easier to be a user than a seller...

yoof who comes into work to buy sat boxes, reckons the 2 crims round here make £40k profit every 3 months from grows.

reckons the 2 crims round here make £40k profit every 3 months from grows.

I didn't realise there was such underworld demand for baby clothes or I'd not put our unwanted ones in a charity bag.

😆

I watched the Storyville program on BBC4 last night about the Silk Road drugs website and the guy behind it, Ross Ulbricht. This guy had the skills to set up and run the operation including all the encryption necessary to dumbfound the authorities and run up a personal fortune of an estimated $104 million.

However, he didn't have the nous to think that maybe the FBI might object to his activities and get out while the going was good. According to the program they tracked him down quite easily in the end. He's now in prison for the rest of his natural life.

I once got egged on to steal a bottle of milk when out camping as a 10 year old. I ended up putting it back after the nasty bastards that egged me on started telling me the polis would be after me and generally putting the fear of god in to me!

There endith my career as a thief! 😆

seosamh77 - Member
I once got egged on to steal a bottle of milk when out camping as a 10 year old. I ended up putting it back after the nasty bastards that egged me on started telling me the polis would be after me and generally putting the fear of god in to me!

There endith my career as a thief!

You are Thatcher and I claim my £5!

😆

ton - Member
yoof who comes into work to buy sat boxes, reckons the 2 crims round here make £40k profit every 3 months from grows.

So, assuming it's split, the two are on £80k p/a? Not a particularly healthy 'salary' to go to chokey for.

That'll be £80k take home so equivalent to about £135k (ish) before tax?

Or do they take it as directors dividends from the business? 🙂

Not a particularly healthy 'salary' to go to chokey for.

unless you come from innercity leeds maybe?

That'll be £80k take home so equivalent to about £135k (ish) before tax?

You can 'net' £80k net from about £90k ish if you use all available tax allowances...

Pay £40k into a pension tax free, leaves a £50k PAYE which has a net take home of £36,467.20 (roughly), so total net of tax is £76,467.20.

unless you come from innercity leeds maybe?

Fair enough. I suppose it's a variant on the Coke bloke running off with £125. The sums aren't exactly life changing whereas the penalties definitely are if they're caught.

(edit) PMSL "£36,467.20 (roughly)". Ben, you are a wally 🙂

I watched the Storyville program on BBC4 last night about the Silk Road drugs website...

Just what I was going to post in response to the theme of

..sort of develops until you say 'hang on a minute. How the **** did I end up here?!.."

Really interesting story, the film's called "Deep Web" and I'd recommend it to anyone. Directed by Alex Winter (aka Bill S Preston Esq). Quite touching seeing the guy floundering in some clips when he was trying to maintain the facade of a normal life and not being able to really explain exactly what he'd been up to to his friends. Definitely someone who got in over their head, very very quickly.

I can't imagine what getting a sentence of life without the possibility of parole must be like, the guy was in his twenties and set out with a an entrepreneurial but fundamentally libertarian vision of a free trade area outside the jurisdiction of any government, ends up kingpin of the biggest drugs marketplace in human history, ordering hits on people that have crossed him, never reaping any of the financial benefits and spending the next few decades in a small room.

Back in the days when I smoked a bit of this and that, I remember finding the line, for me. Somewhere between "if we all put in we can get an ounce together, it'll work out cheaper" and "if you get half a bar it'll be £x".

The day I was going to go out and buy some scales was the day I had a stern word with myself and accepted that paying retail rather than wholesale prices was a better way forward.

Not sure which would be make me more stupid. My failed attempt at crime or admitting to the act on a public forum.

boblo - Member
ton - Member
yoof who comes into work to buy sat boxes, reckons the 2 crims round here make £40k profit every 3 months from grows.
So, assuming it's split, the two are on £80k p/a? Not a particularly healthy 'salary' to go to chokey for.

If your prospects are minimum wage and asda it's not to be sniffed at.

it's not to be sniffed at

Definitely better smoked.

At one legal practice I had the misfortune to work at, it seemed like most of the lawyers were bent or just taking the p155 out of the firm, "needing" a top of the range ipad to "work" on whilst on leave, then calling the helpdesk for the password to install "additionally required" software to that we had set up for them. We had the invoice for FlappyBirds in almost immediately after the call ( senior partner ).

Then the solicitor who was trying to get a new job and mailed the company database to his prospective employer from his work email address ( he was sacked ).

Then the conveyancing solicitor who was diddling the stamp duty. The bad things about that was she had been struck off for it previously and HR hadn't checked to see if she was a registered lawyer or not. Embarrassing when the firm specialised in HR things.

So its not the daft/naughty buggers one remembers from school, its often the upthemselves stupid ones too 🙂

Can you tell how much I enjoyed the year I worked there ????? I have never worked with such a high proportion of self important, belittling stupid thieves anywhere !

Some criminals/prisoners are ingenious, some are thick. I sometimes wonder how they managed to get caught & sometimes.....well you just know!

years ago a cigarette machine got smashed up in town and emptied of cash. The lads were soon apprehended when the ticket sales lady at the local station was quick to report them to the police for buying tickets to London using pockets full of 50 pence pieces 🙂

"My failed attempt at crime"

Well. I suspect that you probably sbouldn't tell other people about it, right or wrong.

My own misdemeanours are long past, to the point of being uninteresting to the authorities.

These days, along with the rest of the human race, I make a sensible living without a club in my middle pocket.

Is that crim code for 'you kept a bat up your arse?'

Let's be honest. Breaking the law in a small way will **** you up. If you have some cash to spare and an open mind, perhaps you can make some money.

Mostly though, all decent-minded people will balk at the thought of robbing others.

I once stole a plastic Dalek from Woolworths. I'm still sometimes tormented by the guilt.

I once stole a plastic Dalek from Woolworths. I'm still sometimes tormented by the guilt.

I once shoplifted a scented rubber* when they were all the rage, I'd probably have been about 10. I spent the next fortnight crapping myself that the police were going to turn up at our door any minute. That was the beginning and end of my illustrious life of crime.

(* - pencil eraser, get your minds out of Leisure Suit Larry.)

Slow down chaps, I'm running out of paper here 😀

* - pencil eraser, get your minds out of Leisure Suit Larry.

They also thought "dropped a bollock" was highly amusing.

That was the beginning and end of my illustrious life of crime.

At least they let you Mod STW from prison...

They also thought "dropped a bollock" was highly amusing.

They weren't wrong, to be fair.

It always amuses me when otherwise wholesome American TV shows innocently drop British swearing into their shows. Peggy Bundy's maiden name for example.

Dear future employers and government agencies. I spent my youth knitting socks for the local orphanage

Yeah- but why were there so many orphans?

Peggy Bundy's maiden name for example.

Was it not the name of the county she came from as well?

Peggy Bundy's maiden name for example.

It was her brother Sticky* I felt sorry for.

*Yes. Really.

Peggy Bundy's maiden name for example.

My crime is that secretly I used to find Marcy attractive...

Me & 2 mates once *broke* into our school one night.

*broke* = using keys I'd nicked from the woodstore room.

We had some fun on the sports field with a couple of javelins & some footballs. 😆

I would never dream of intentionally hurting another being. Or robbing anyone. But drugs? My golly, I used to love my drugs. And if that made me a criminal then so be it. Stupid law anyway, just makes the government look stupid.

Don't have many drugs these days, apart from wine. But that's not a drug. It's a drink.

Cordially,

A. Criminal.

The beautiful irony of it all is that the supply of drugs represents, more than anything, the 'free market' in essence. As espoused by pretty much every significant politician, in power. Supply and demand, simple as that, totally unconstrained by regulation.

So if you're a drug dealer you actuality represent the logical conclusion of free market capitalist philosophy. Yet at the same time you offend its morality to the extent that you are public enemy number one, possibly number 2 after kiddie fiddlers. Though they seemed to have been pretty tolerant with them.

It's all utterly contradictory, totally hypocritical bollocks!

But if you can do alright in that market, manage to stay alive, and turn a profit, you'll be a damn site more qualified than Phillip Green to be running a company. And definitely a better human being having not pillaged s pension fund

Hey ho

Not committed any crimes (that I'm aware of) but as probationary constable, I experienced the idiocy (and to be fair, occasional outstanding decency) of humans in general. I once arrested a shoplifter whose mate got away, then two days later was asked to visit court to arrest said mate who'd turned up to watch his mate being arraigned.

I remember a load of people I know fell for a scam involving £350m, a large bus and a load of tosh in the news published by a bunch of career crooks.

Can't recall the outcome though.

Crumbs. My apologies for talking a load of rubbish. No more Tuesday night whisky for me.

Wednesday night whisky is ok though. Watch this space...

Binners. I'm struggling to understand your last post.

As an ex "bad-man", it's encumbent upon me to make up for all the shitty things I've done. I'm behooved to punish myself, donate to charities and generally berate myself until my penance is done.

All that said, it was a decent life - lots of hired cars, exotic ladies and executive flats. And the bad times obviously followed: nights in the cells, the worst hangovers in the world, behind bars, with no release date - all very much deserved.

I love this place..

Drug dealing.. Ah the folly of youth

Big thieves.. Disgusting vermin that should be hung by their balls for their crimes against society...

My life of crime consisted of shoplifting a set of flights for darts from Woolworths. They had a pic of a scantily clad lady on them.

I slipped them into a bag of sweets that I had already purchased and made for the exit. The sense of relief as I exited the shop was immense. I crossed over the town centre road directly outside to get to my bus stop and found myself thrown into the air, arms and legs flailing, going over the roof of a Ford Capri. Hit and run driver never stopped.

I'm convinced it was instant Karma.

Binners, what a load of tosh.

And definitely a better human being having not pillaged s pension fund

You do know that in some cases drugs destroy and take lives don't you?

franksinatra - Member
You do know that in some cases drugs destroy and take lives don't you?