Honestly. Was watching "Motorway Madness" or somesuch last night.
It struck me that when i was a very stupid criminal, i at least had the sense to insure my car, have it MOTed and not carry about the tools of the night. You obviously leave them at a sensible spot.
Anyone else here willing to admit to a badly spent youth?
When some of my mates decided to [s]steal[/s]borrow cars in the village for a late night drive,they always put petrol in before returning them.
I never went on these trips,"You are going to get caught" I would tell them.
They never did.
I once did 72mph in a 70.
Anyone else here willing to admit to a badly spent youth?
I am.
I'm hoping it'll feel better after a rest and a cup of tea.
I smoked weed once, fun lovin rather than stupid was my style of criminality.
A good few years back, I read in the local paper, someone I vaguely new in my past, got pulled over by the police, at 1am for being on the phone. He had nine ounces of weed in the boot.. ..
Some of the lads I went to school with used to get up to all kinds of nonsense. None of them were the brightest sparks. All ended up doing time. One ended up paralysed from the waist down after a high speed pursuit in a nicked Cosworth didn't end well.
One total misnomer, having witnessed plenty of it first hand, is the tabloid assertion that 'dealing drugs is easy money'
Ok then... if its that easy, you go and do it for a weekend and see how you get on
Yes. Would have faced jail time if caught. At the time we just enjoyed partying and we're all consenting young adults having fun. Never robbed or beat any one up. Happy fun days.
I self-checked out in a supermarket once in a bit of a rush. Couldn't seem to quickly find red onions in the 'Look up items' so I checked that mofo out as a white potato.
No dutty Babylon is gonna take me alive!
Yes. Stop me before i kill again.
Anyone else here willing to admit to a badly spent youth?
I grew up in Liverpool.
All the stories you hear about life in Liverpool are true... and then some.
It makes me laugh that people think Bread was a sitcom, it was actually a decent representation of life in Liverpool.
Dear future employers and government agencies. I spent my youth knitting socks for the local orphanage.
Needle user eh?
Unhealthy interest in abandoned children, eh?
....as if the foot fetish wasn't bad enough?
The ones who appear on those programmes are arguably stupid.
The ones who never get caught - probably not so stupid.....or maybe just lucky.
Bloody foot fetishists, get with the Metric programme like everyone else.
Bloody foot fetishists, get with the Metric programme like everyone else.
Then they would be metre-ologists.
Like John Kettley....
my two stars of the week successfully do two dwelling house burglaries taking cars from drives, valuables from inside house , leave no forensic evidence and faces concealed from the cctv on the houses then stop off in a brightly lit cctv rich McDonald's to use the victim's bank card to buy £15 worth of burgers while not hiding their faces.
Ok then... if its that easy, you go and do it for a weekend and see how you get on
Absolutely.
One of the reasons I stopped, finding yourself in increasingly dodgier flats, small time dealers constantly expecting the door hooved in by the polis, or even worse some crazy bastard dealer tooled up.
And that was only for a bit of weed. F that.
...dealing drugs is easy money
As has been mentioned, it really is not. It's blooming hard work and carries risks and responsibilities.
Try hiring a car after your first capture. You'll need a fake ID. Try applying for a mortgage. Same deal.
Not to say that it was all bad. Lots of good times zipping up and down the motorways in fast cars with loose women.
I'd rather have done things differently. How about you?
I once did 72mph in a 70.
You're worse than Hitler.
Never underestimate the predictability of stupidity.
(c) Jason Statham
As a young man growing up in a small village with my own car from the age of 17 I was often the driver when heading out and about with friends.
One day we were driving into the local town when the lad in the back of the car shouted "That's Danny" and pointed at an unremarkable looking 15 year old walking along a pavement on the outskirts of town.
We pulled over and gave this stranger a lift. Had a bit of a chat and dropped him off in a less salubrious part of town before heading to the record shop.
I thought nothing of it until I heard, some years later, that Danny was one of the town's major drugs dealers and at the time - 20+ years ago - was earning £1500 a week. His parents apparently thought he was very good at saving his pocket money....
It took me another 15 years to hit the same gross earnings doing the legitmate way.
Who says crime doesn't pay? (He's probably dead/in prison.)
My brother tells a story of someone he shared a cell with. broke into a house, nice telly, decent stereo, other odds and ends but no way to get it home so he called a taxi. Taxi driver was a tad suspicious about someone taking expensive stuff out of a nice big house and transferring it to one of the more scum parts of town so dropped the boy off then called the cops, conveniently being able to provide the addresses of both the perp and the victim as well as a list of some of the stolen stuff.
...who says crime doesn't pay
No-one with half a brain. Of course it does or there wouldn't be bike thieves. Or drug dealers, or fences or money lenders (sharks), the worst of them all.
I'm genuinely interested. It can't just have been me and my mates. They're all in jail or dead now (i miss their company).
Not for one second do I think that there aren't others like me.
Not for one second do I think that there aren't others like me.
So, without asking you to out yourself, what made you stop: enforcement or your own decision?
No-one with half a brain
I know a couple of blokes who make more money in a week than you and I make in a couple of month.
criminals, yes, stupid, I don't think so.
how about you?
All good fun, if terrifying at times. Got some bonkers stories about being in some ridiculously ill-advised situations with some very wrong people
The trick is to quit while you're ahead. Easily said
I truly believe not many set out to do it, it just sort of develops until you say 'hang on a minute. How the **** did I end up here?!"
We met some proper criminals at the Europcar hire desk at Palma. I'm still disputing the bill with them now....
The stupid criminals I met were the arsonists who hung around to watch the fire and the burglars who tagged the house they were visiting.. the fraudsters were the clever ones. We did do some silly things, no one got hurt and life was very exciting but glad I didn't make any of it a career choice tbh.
Lad I went to school with, gobby and not the brightest spark used to generally revel in being unpleasant. He left school, worked as a carpenter and one day decided to hold up a petrol station.
He was arrested at half eight on a Monday morning. Suffice it was to say that the proceeds from his escapade were very disappointing, something like £45 and a couple of packets of fags, certainly not worth the subsequent custodial sentence for armed robbery.
None of us have seen him in twenty-seven years.
Never, ever go back to the scene of a crime. They're waiting for you. CID 101.
Why stop omitn. Good question. Eventually, you realise that you can earn a better living without all the hassle.
You can carry on robbing cars and houses in the middle of the night or you can **** off to uni and learn how to draw, paint or take photos.
If you're determined to stick to stolen cars and other people's stuff, at least do it with alacrity.
I mixed with some 'wrong un's' 20 years ago and got involved with some daft things I shouldn't have - oddly I did it more for the fun of it than anything else.
Are criminals stupid? Well yes, street level criminals are anyway. If you had an ounce of sense and could write your name you could find a job back then - it might not keep in you in Fubu tracksuits, but you don't have to sleep next to a pile of weapons or hoping tonight isn't your night to get nicked, but alas most of them do - even in the 90s when information wasn't so freely available, if you were 20 and had a criminal record it was a lot harder to get a job so it was a choice to either sign on, steal things, or sell illegal things, most did all 3.
After a 5-10 year cycle of crime and prison they might learn a thing or two about subtlety, but even then they'd **** up in all sorts of ways from a lack of social skills - for example it didn't take long to work out that if you're tasked with transporting a few Kgs of class A drugs it's best not to use your ratty Orion Ghia with blacked out windows, bald tyres and a loud exhaust because the Police tended to see that sort of car in a negative light, pull them over, find 3 lads inside - who were usually high, drunk or both with a list of criminal convictions and well, a search would usually follow.
No, with thousands of pounds and long prison sentences at stake - it's worth investing £100 in a hire car for a few days, leave the ganja alone for the morning, not dress in the usually skally uniform and drive sensibly - because why would the police pull over a nice new, clean non-descript car being driven well? In fact if they did and it all went wrong, the court may ask them to prove they justification for the stop - it's completely idiot proof - except wrong 'uns being wrong 'uns they can't help but be wrong 'uns – so they’d skank the hire company, rent it for a day or a weekend then keep it for weeks and weeks, but the hire car company report them stolen after a few days so instead of a cleaner than clean car they’re actually flagged at a stolen car, so they get stopped, no justification needed, searched and all the drugs found.
I ended up in court as a witness once after seeing a car being stolen in Edinburgh. After getting into the car and driving round the corner it cut out (I think the immobiliser cut the fuel). In a bit of panic the lad asked a nearby pedestrian to help him push if off the main road 'cos I chored it and the place is full of polis.' Unfortunately for him he was stood outside St Leonards police station and the guy he asked for help was just turning up to start his shift.
The lad pleaded not guilty.
When I worked for Coca-Cola one of our vending drivers stole a days takings and fled the country, his van was found at a ferry port. After a bit of reconciliation we worked out he had escaped abroad with around £125 in loose change.
It's not good fun. It's terrifying. It's an early grave.
It's all about cleaning the car with wet wipes before you drop it off.
These days, I'm an honest man. Wouldn't hurt a fly and all that.
[quote=crankboy ]my two stars of the week successfully do two dwelling house burglaries taking cars from drives, valuables from inside house , leave no forensic evidence and faces concealed from the cctv on the houses then stop off in a brightly lit cctv rich McDonald's to use the victim's bank card to buy £15 worth of burgers while not hiding their faces.
allegedly?
All good fun, if terrifying at times. Got some bonkers stories about being in some ridiculously ill-advised situations with some very wrong people
Voting Tory can feel like that at times....
A wise old crook once advised me thusly:
If you're preparing to commit a crime, first look at the profit you stand to make, then divide that amount by the number of hours jail time you might serve if caught.
If the hourly rate looks good then crack on.
I found it much easier to turn down the hair brained schemes that my mates and I used to come up with after applying that simple algorithm.
A boy I hung around with as a child (my mum constantly told me to keep away from him as he was bad news even as a 10 year old) was in and out of prison for various things such as shooting people with a crossbow, breaking into a house and subsequently being found by the police at the bottom of the garden wearing the resident's underwear and various other BAE and car joy riding etc.
The last I saw of him was about 25 years ago at the London Car Show with his minder and wearing a tag.
I do occasionally wonder what ever happened to him but I doubt he'll be on LinkedIn now 🙂
I do occasionally wonder what ever happened to him but I doubt he'll be on LinkedIn now
LockedIn maybe?
Chapeau, PP. 😆
[doffshat]
You're worse than Hitler.
Ninfan would say we are equal.
