[Closed] How much should I charge for keep!!

Depends if you're wanting her to move out or not.

£150ish?

Need to teach her the value of renting.

You could always charge more, save some and give it back to her when she moves out to help with bonds/deposit.

£400 for the room, then, an equal share of all the bills.
Prepare her for rhe future! 😉

Bout 120 seems fair to me.

£50 a week, save half of it for her and give it to her when wants to move out/buy a house

Less than 200 and she's not learning the responsibility of contributing, more than 300 is starting to lessen the benefits of being employed. So 250 to start with.

I find it rather bizarre this concept of parents charging their offspring to live in the family home. Whilst I appreciate the need to educate them about standing on their own two feet etc, it smells a bit of opportunistic profiteering to me. At the very most get them to do the odd weekly shop and contribute something to the bills, or put it aside for them to be refunded at a later date as someone else suggested.

Surely it depends on what your bike needs?

I find it rather bizarre this concept of parents charging their offspring to live in the family home. Whilst I appreciate the need to educate them about standing on their own two feet etc, it smells a bit of opportunistic profiteering to me. At the very most get them to do the odd weekly shop and contribute something to the bills, or put it aside for them to be refunded at a later date as someone else suggested.

So you go and work a 40 hour week, and pay for your childs upkeep, and your (adult) child works a 40 hour week and contributes nothing to their own upkeep, now that is a bizarre viewpoint.

it smells a bit of opportunistic profiteering to me.

I'm not sure you understand the term profiteering.

They are adults and earning so they pay their way?How else do they learn the value of money?Otherwise you are working hard whilst they piss it all up the wall.I had a lazy stepdaughter who paid sod all and spent all her free time loafing around as she refused to work more than 20 hours a week

and your (adult) child works a 40 hour week and contributes nothing to their own upkeep, now that is a bizarre viewpoint.

For christ's sake, they're 18! Let them have some fun. They have an entire life of working, drudgery and mundanity ahead of them, there's plenty time for learning the boring things in life like paying bills etc..

Why not let the parents have some fun? They just spent the past 20 years raising you, they are still subsidising your life, but maybe now they have a small chance to afford some of the things they haven't been able to for a very long time.

Less than 200 and she's not learning the responsibility of contributing, more than 300 is starting to lessen the benefits of being employed. So 250 to start with.

For christ's sake, they're 18! [s]Let them have some fun[/s] [b][i]Let them spend all their money, thinking that everyone has massive disposable income.[/i][/b] They have an entire life of working, drudgery and mundanity ahead of them, there's plenty time for [s]learning the boring things in life[/s][b][i]getting a shock when they cannot manage money for important things like[/i][/b] paying bills etc [b][i]as they spent it all on cars, beer and clothes[/i][/b]..

I'm not sure you understand the term profiteering.

So presumably if they don't pay up you sling them out on the streets like any other landlord? And why start at 18? KIds can earn money well before that. Why wait til they're 18 before teaching them the valuable lesson that even the closest family relationships are secondary to financial gain?

This has potential for many pages; massively subjective with way too many unknown variables for a clean answer.

£850. Tell her she can pay the deficit when she earns over £21k.

Charged ours 33% of their take home pay...... put it all in an account and told them they could have it for house deposit etc..

One used it for house, other used it to start own business...... never regreted doing it.

I give my dad £150 a month and pay for all my own shopping, car etc. I'm very appreciative of this as rent anywhere else is at least double what I'm paying!

Why not let the parents have some fun? They just spent the past 20 years raising you, they are still subsidising your life, but maybe now they have a small chance to afford some of the things they haven't been able to for a very long time.

That's obviously were I'm going wrong. I didn't realise that having kids was transactional. I'd best start the spreadsheet now so I can claim it all back in 15 years time 🙄

So they get to 18 and you are worse off.Child benefit goes and they contribute nothing?If I hadnt paid up my mum would have kicked me out .I paid £20 a week out of £45 take home.

So presumably if they don't pay up you sling them out on the streets like any other landlord? And why start at 18? KIds can earn money well before that. Why wait til they're 18 before teaching them the valuable lesson that even the closest family relationships are secondary to financial gain?

Your not making money out of them, your only subsidising their upkeep rather than footing the whole bill.

Your not waiting till their 18, they start contributing when they start earning, that might be leaving school at 16 or when they earn a phd at 25.

That's obviously were I'm going wrong. I didn't realise that having kids was transactional. I'd best start the spreadsheet now so I can claim it all back in 15 years time

is there some gazillion facepalm picture available.

Eyepic - I like that idea.

Why not let the parents have some fun? They just spent the past 20 years raising you, they are still subsidising your life, but maybe now they have a small chance to afford some of the things they haven't been able to for a very long time.

The parents chose to have children, the children did not chose to be born.

If you need the money then by all means charge them the additional costs that them living in your house causes but if you don't need the cash to live or are making a profit then that seems a bit off to me.

So when my relationship failed a couple of years ago at 47 could I have moved back home and sponged of my aging parents?

Has any parent ever in the history of the world made a profit from charging their [b]ADULT[/b] kids some upkeep.

So when my relationship failed a couple of years ago at 47 could I have moved back home and sponged of my aging parents?

47, dazh will still be at home sponging of his parents at that age.

How much should I charge for keep!!

30%
seems fair

Charging a third seems reasonable. I would say to them I'm going to save a proportion of it for when they move out (for a deposit/business etc). But I would say If they were on time, every time, with the "payment" I'd give it all back with whatever interest it had gained. If they were late a lot id reduce the proportion. Would teach money management, the value of saving, keeping up with payments etc.

When I was 18 I paid about £350 (out of £1200) a month and was commuting into London on the train. I still had enough money to get wrecked pretty much every night of the week.

Turns out they'd saved every penny and gave it all back to me when I finished uni, god knows how they kept it quiet!

It really depends on her outgoings, transport costs, phone bills etc - You should probably decide a ball park figure for her to have as disposable income to piss up the wall and the rent can be her savings.

What I paid was 1/3rd basic take home pay but they saved everything over what extra it cost them for me to stay at home for a house deposit. No need renegotiate when I got a pay rise. When I got a better job they just saved more for me until I was earning enough that it made financial sense to get my own place. Win/win.

My stepson on the other hand was allowed to pay little because he was saving for a house .It worked he bought one with his Girlfriend and moved out

So when my relationship failed a couple of years ago at 47 could I have moved back home and sponged of my aging parents?

That's a silly example. As you well know there's an enormous difference between 47 and 18. I'm not suggesting they don't contribute, on the contrary. I'm just saying that charging them 'rent' is a bit cold and formal. As far as I'm concerned it's their home as much as mine, they have a right to live there. If they want to contribute, great, (not that I'd take it though) if not then I'm not going to throw them out.

Similar situation, the eldest lad is back from uni and work is looking promising , so we have told him that when he is earning he can pay a quarter of the house hold bills .... as there is 4 of us in the house, thought that was fair? ,hes now 21 and not a baby any more so why should i keep him ? .... I payed my way from the first week i ever worked and want my kids to learn the value of money ....

I'm not suggesting they don't contribute

That's exactly what you have been suggesting 😆

47, dazh will still be at home sponging of his parents at that age.

That would be preferable to being lender of last resort 🙂

That's exactly what you have been suggesting

err, to quote myself...

At the very most get them to do the odd weekly shop and contribute something to the bills, or put it aside for them to be refunded at a later date as someone else suggested.

I think you're possibly misunderstanding the subtlety of my point.

I'm not suggesting they don't contribute
That's exactly what you have been suggesting

Not how I read it.

edit: beaten to it.

It all sounds very idealistic talking of giving it back, blah, blah, blah .....etc...........bollocks if you`re 18 in work, pay your way sunshine, time to grow up and while your at it the lawn needs a trim, your Mother and I are off for a pub tea with that dosh you handed over !!!!!!

The answer to the question have any parents made a profit on Adult children working is a categorical yes. My wife's mum and step dad did from her and my sister in law. Parents were both on benefits in a council house and had 3 young kids...wife and sis in laws 'board' payments were definitely more than the outgoings....way more when you consider that most of the time they had to get the weeks shopping in as any cash that their folks had had been spent at the pub. I'm stopping now before I start to rant!

Whatever the market rate is on that room.

I was asked to pay 1/3rd of my take home pay when i started my apprenticeship. This covered meals, laundry and a room to do with what i liked. Everything else, i.e. clothes, transport etc, i paid for myself. This was the arrangement, like it or lump it, til i got married at 22. God bless them though, when i did eventually leave the roost, i was rewarded with the grand total of hee haw. You get nothing for nothing in this life.

Huge variety of responses, and none of them are wrong (apart from some of the ones telling other people they're wrong)

depends on your daughter. You'll know her well enough by now to know whether she needs a lesson in the value of money and the importance of budgeting, whether you'd rather she found her own way, own place sooner rather than later (2nd poster hit an important nail on the head!)

I'd already been thinking about the sensible rent now your earning and secret save and refund idea. You could even do the same but not keep it a secret - "you can move out and pay rent and never see it again, or pay the same here in a nicer house, and you know it's going to a better place."

Again, depends what you think is best for you and her.

Have fun!

Whatever the market rate is on that room.

Wow! Perhaps he should pimp her out too, just to make a bit of extra cash?

My partner and I are in very much a similar situation, daughter started work moved in with partner moved back after 6 months and hasn't started paying keep.

Time to have a word, similar money involved about £850 take home, probably ask £200 seems a lot but fair as everything is done for her and safe clean house without worries. We don't need it but its about responsibility in my book. We both work very hard etc as indeed she does.

Prabably put half away seems like a good idea.

So presumably if they don't pay up you sling them out on the streets like any other landlord? And why start at 18? KIds can earn money well before that. Why wait til they're 18 before teaching them the valuable lesson that even the closest family relationships are secondary to financial gain?

Yup you don't understand profiteering. £50 a week won't really cover the cost of having an 18 year old in the house, charging them a small amount of money towards their keep lets them learn the the importance of controlling your money.

nedrapier - Member

Huge variety of responses, and none of them are wrong ([u]apart from some of the ones telling other people they're wrong[/u])

You are all wrong ... 😆

If she earns £800 then do this ...

1. £200 to the parents. This is not rent or paying for parents as maids but it's up to the parents what they want to use it for ...

2. £300 to the saving in bank (not to use).

3. £300 for her to spend.

Simple.

😆

This thread reminds me of a mate I used to work with many years ago. His father is a self made millionaire (I would guess a few Bolton dwellers on here will have heard of him and his company) He strongly believes that his sons make their own way in life.

My mate asked his father for a business loan to buy a small business. It wasn't a huge amount and dad agreed to it at just under the market rate. One summer the parents were away for a month or so at their holiday home and my mate was looking after their house and small holding (free of charge - they are family, after all) Because they were away my mate thought he could get away with missing a payment for the loan and two days later he received a solicitors letter threatening him with bailiffs and court action for failing to meet the terms of his loan!

Nice man.

Edit: anyway, fwiw my eldest who lives with his mum is now paying her £100 despite the fact that he only gets home from the army college around two weekends a month. Her arguement is that she's keeping a room available for him (secretly though she's told me its going into a savings account for him til he's 21)

Either its just a notional amount, or you could make it something you can justify. One approach would just be to take the total cost and divide by number of adults - but that might not be 'fair' or 'progressive enough'.

So I would take the total cost of the household (rent/mortgage*/council tax/utilities/tv/broadband/repairs/food/insurance etc) and then prorata this based on income. An adjustment might be needed for younger siblings...

* possibly only interest

What you actually do with the money (e.g. saving for her future etc) is a different question that will depend on your circumstances.

Yup you don't understand profiteering.

Yes I do. If you don't need the money, then it's making a profit. If you can't afford the bills etc then obviously it's a completely different situation, but it doesn't sound like the OP is in that position. I appreciate £50/week doesn't cover bills etc but what are you going to do if they don't pay? A formal arrangement of charging rent to live in the family home has the implication that if the rent isn't forthcoming, then the privilege of living in the family home is withdrawn. That seems to be an odd lesson for a parent to teach an 18 year old. And I'll repeat, I'm not against a contribution being paid, it just shouldn't be defined in terms of 'rent' or %ages of wages etc.

Whatever you charge her, when she moves out, give her it back. Tell her it's a trust fund or something, teaches her to pay her way, and also gives her a wee help to get set up.

I keep seeing the quote "learn the value of money". Now, unless it takes many years to learn that then fair enough. But it doesn't. Paying bills, managing money, keeping an eye on finances is not rocket science. Charging your own children rent at 18 seems slightly ridiculous to me. As soon as you bring money like that into a relationship then you run the risk or potentially ruining it. If that is the case then you would be teaching the child that money is more important to you than family. I'm not saying an 18 year old shouldn't contribute, but there are more constructive and better ways than teaching the 'value of money'.

theprancinghorse - Member
I keep seeing the quote "learn the value of money". Now, unless it takes many years to learn that then fair enough. But it doesn't. Paying bills, managing money, keeping an eye on finances is not rocket science. Charging your own children rent at 18 seems slightly ridiculous to me. As soon as you bring money like that into a relationship then you run the risk or potentially ruining it. If that is the case then you would be teaching the child that money is more important to you than family. I'm not saying an 18 year old shouldn't contribute, but there are more constructive and better ways than teaching the 'value of money'.

Tell us of these constructive ways.

the implication that if the rent isn't forthcoming, then the privilege of living in the family home is withdrawn. That seems to be an odd lesson for a parent to teach an 18 year old.

As soon as you bring money like that into a relationship then you run the risk or potentially ruining it.

If that is the case then you would be teaching the child that money is more important to you than family

There are some extremes on here and I think the majority think they should pay some form of rent to pay their way but not such an extreme level that the parents are still not essentially subbing them

TBH If they pay nothing they aint ever leaving

Only time I ever lived at home for free was after travelling about 30 ish and I cooked , cleaned and did all the shopping , washing etc but I did not have any money. As soon as I got a job I moved out and took my mum out for a meal as a treat as she would not have taken my money anyway

it is about neither person taking the piss because their is mutual respect and self respect

True it is far better they learn to take the piss, not pay rent and sponge of you for everything even when they have money. Is this a better message to learn?

That's an incredibly negative viewpoint. I'll repeat again, I'm not talking about kids being permitted to 'sponge', far from it. But the emphasis doesn't have to be on 'rent' or 'charging' them. What people should be talking about is a responsible contribution towards the upkeep of the family home, and that contribution could be made in any number of financial or non-financial ways. You probably think it's all the same but the difference in how its communicated is enormous.

Charging your own children rent at 18 seems slightly ridiculous to me. As soon as you bring money like that into a relationship then you run the risk or potentially ruining it. If that is the case then you would be teaching the child that money is more important to you than family.

Hallejulah! Someone who agrees. That must be a first!

25% of take home pay is what i had to pay 24 years ago.

I'm with dazh. To me (as a non parent) most of the posts just seem to be from bitter parents who appear to resent the cost of children and can't wait to start making them pay their own way.

Obviously, I could be reading it all wrong, but this thread certainly isn't an advert for having kids....

If I recall, my parents charged me a token rent to let me save up a deposit, which I duly did.

25% of take home is what i will be taking off mine when he is working

I dont have kids, but if i did they would be paying 25% of take home pay because thats what i paid. Simple.

I agree with dazh to a large extent. How many of you charge your partner rent ? The suggestion of chipping in for weekly shopping and bills seems better to me. As someone else said, it's a decent part of your life with few responsibilities. I want my children to be enjoying themselves, spending cash on gigs, festivals and holidays. Not paying off my mortgage.

Obviously they'll still be sweeping the ****ing chimney though 🙂

I'm surprised you're not all charging your pet dogs, cats, budgerigars rent as well for their keep.......

This thread should have been closed after withersea's post, skimmed the rest, looks to be the usual STW egos shouting at each other.

I'm surprised you're not all charging your pet dogs, cats, budgerigars rent as well for their keep.......

I'm going to start charging visitors for a cup of tea. It costs money to boil a kettle, provide tea-bags, milk etc. Also any friends who come round to stay the night, they can pay B&B prices at the market rate. It's only fair and it will teach them that they can't expect a free lunch.

Back on track.....

Sit down with her and work out what she can afford.
Do a budget for her essential spending (Travel to work etc)
Work out from that what is a sensible amount to contribute to the household expenditure.
If you need the cash then you need it, if not try and put it away for them as a deposit/emergency fund.
When I started my first job after Uni (not living at home) I had about £600/month after tax so I learnt fairly quickly how little that was. There was no subsidised rents for me out there just the real world.

The one Soks offspring that works for a living payed 25% of take home pay before she moved into her flat.........then we bought her a load of household things from the money she'd payed us. 🙂
Still paying out, one way or another, for the eldest and youngest Soks offspring who are in academia, as it were. 🙄

But the emphasis doesn't have to be on 'rent' or 'charging' them. What people should be talking about is a responsible contribution towards the upkeep of the family home, and that contribution could be made in any number of financial or non-financial ways

Ah so you agree but just want to use a different word. 😕

Drac - Moderator
But the emphasis doesn't have to be on 'rent' or 'charging' them. What people should be talking about is a responsible contribution towards the upkeep of the family home, and that contribution could be made in any number of financial or [b]non-financial[/b] ways

Ah so you agree but just want to use a different word.

😕

Slave labour.

When I was in a similar situation (to your daughter) I was charged £20pw from a take-home of £100pw (long time ago).

The reason for the £20pw was that the dole was about £22-23pw and my folks set the price to make neither myself or my brother think that we could just 'cruise'. If you want to do nothing, then you'll have near enough nothing - but a roof/food.

They didn't need the cash, but they were (and still are) very generous so got it back and many times more when I needed it.

In the OP's situation, it depends on whether they need the money. If they do then charge/ask what you need.

Otherwise just enough so it means something, but not so much that she looks for alternative accommodation - plus save/invest it.

Parents' income has nothing at all to do with it! Sorry but parents shouldn't be wanting to be 'best friends' with their kids.

Do you really want to be bailing them out time and time again? They need to learn for themselves.

My two lads(20 & 19)each pay £20 a week,is it enough,I don't know or care tbh,I couldn't even tell you what either of them earns a month..But I do know that you don't learn the value of money by getting somebody else to save it for you.......They both run cars,so they have to save money to pay for the stupidly high insurance premiums & to keep their cars running....

friday tea time my mum used to stand at the kitchen door with her hand out.. couldnt cross the threshold without crossing her palm with a crisp tenner.. only got thirty quid after tax to start with..

#wheniwerealad

My dad was one of the dead easy going ones - I asked him how much he wanted (I had just landed a job earning more than he did!), and had to set up the standing order for double what he asked as anything less would have been taking the piss. I think he asked for £100, this was 10 years ago.

Left school in 87. Straight onto a YTS scheme. £28.50 a week and handed a tenner over.
Was paying £50 by the time I was 20 but was earning a lot more.
Moved out at 21

When i was 16 i earned £740 a month and paid £170 keep. (4/5 years ago)

I started paying £200/m when i went over the £1000/m wage bracket, still paying that much now but don't remind me old dear she may rise it as wages have gone up since then....

I'd say £150-200 and then stick a percentage of it into savings for them (for a house deposit), the percentage being determined by if you actually need any of the money to help pay the bills.

My Exs youngest daughter came to live with us, in her early 20s.
She worked in London good job 30K ish salary.
Used to pay £40 a week to her mum, but never saved any money, was out getting hammered, permanently skint and had no incentive to change.
It was a nice cushy number for her....
It also upset her mum a lot, the way she was living her life, and this lifestyle was effectively being subsidised by her mum and I.
At the time, I was working away and only home at weekends and yet I was still contributing far more each month into the "Pot"

I got her mum to increase her "Rent" to a lot closer to market values.
She kept what she needed to cover the increased bills etc and then saved the rest for her daughter.
Daughter eventually realised that she could have her own space / be with her mates for the same outlay and moved out.
Her Mum then presented her with the deposit for the new place out of the money saved.