[Closed] homophobia alive and well on the streets

So violence rather than doing as the Roman's when in Rome is your answer, Crankboy. Isn't avoiding behaviour some find provacative in public more peaceful?

Whilst I'm all for the freedom to do as you wish behind closed doors, when out in public if you don't conform to narrow-minded people's norm they pass judgement and a few idiots will behave badly. Things that provoke always have and always will include overt signs of religious or sexual belonging. Wear a burka, turban, large cross, fishnets, a muscle vest and moustash, and peole will judge you. Drive on French plates in England if you really want to suffer aggressive driving (especailly in a mad cow crisis).

Edukator - Member

doing as the Roman's when in Rome

WTF? "When in Rome" means respect another country's way of life when you're there, not "Hide who you are and live in fear in your own home"

Educator she is in England being gay is perfectly normal and acceptable she has no need to adapt to our environment . Those who feel they can assault their fellow citizens for no reason are the ones who need to adapt or be adapted.

"When in Rome" to me means conforming to the written and unwritten rules of society wherever you are if you wish to fit in. If you don't wish to fit in that's another matter.

I often hide who I am and that's perhaps why I don't live in fear in my own home.

Some blokes get right narked at the thought of a couple of tasty birds only being interested in other women. Going by the pics you've posted of yourself in the past emsz I reckon you easily pass the tasty bird test, so take the insult as a complement from a jealous envious man 8)

Joking apart though (although I wasn't entirely joking) it's a crap thing to happen. Unfortunately as suggested the world is full of arseholes, just be thankful that you're not hitched up to one and that they are unable to affect you other than the occasional pathetic insult.

Well worth reporting if it ever happens again though, although hopefully it never will.

WTF? "When in Rome" means respect another country's way of life when you're there, not "Hide who you are and live in fear in your own home"

Justin Fashnau,
Grahame obree,
the welsh rugby player,
the baseball player,

all where forced to hide their sexuality,for fear of ridicule, humiliation, or most probably a huge backlash from some sections of fans.

also tomorrow night , monday BBC3
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01bncfg

and i cant stand football, but will be watching to gain an insight into why certain members of the population like to watch fit young men ruuning round a field, kicking a ball and hugging and kissing each other, then swopping shirts, and jumping in a bath together,

emsz, just like any town and city, there are still pockets where the inhabitants have moved barely further up the food chain than slime mould. There are several people at work who are barely more sophisticated than Neanderthals, but fortunately I don't have to work with them any more. They're jealous you are with someone you love and care for deeply.
I'm jealous, but that's certainly not how I'd react. A little smile and a small pain in my heart...
Pity pepper spray isn't legal.

project - Member

all where forced to hide their sexuality,for fear of ridicule, humiliation, or most probably a huge backlash from some sections of fans.

Absolutely. And that's piss-poor, but Edukator thinks it's absolutely fine.

"to see the change, we must be the change"

[i]"she is in England being gay is perfectly normal and acceptable"[/i]

Really, Crankboy? The place must have changes a hell of a lot since I was there. I seem to remember gay politicians (or even a hint they might be gay) were considered a security risk, gays in the workplace got nowhere, guys couldn't get a decent role in the university drama society unless they were gay... .

All that must have miraculously changed (but I think not). I think that emsz's experience today proves there are people who think being gay is neither normal or acceptable. That's very sad I know but being pragmatic means knowing in which places one can safely express one's gayness and which one's it's best avoided.

We're nearly but not quite back to the slut walking debate. Wear a certain type of attire and hang around the wrong street corners in France and you'll get picked up by the police - and that's in a country where women holding hands won't get them spat on.

Know your environment and adapt to it if you wish to prosper.

Justin Fashnau,
Grahame obree,
the welsh rugby player,
the baseball player*,

Edukator - Member

Know your environment and adapt to it if you wish to prosper.

You could do with heeding your own advice Edukator.

You are coming across on this thread as a bit of a knob, and so far you are in a minority of one. So why don't you adapt and at least pretend not to be a knob, and hopefully you will fit in nicely with everyone else 💡

P**s poor situation emsz - hope you're both ok.
We live in a village where some things are a touch, shall we say, behind the times..
There are several gay couples around - guys an girls, none of those MrsMM and I know have ever reported any issues. To say what happened to you was in Oxford, slightly more 'cosmopolitan' than a Yorkshire village, does surprise me....

Pity pepper spray isn't legal.

I didn't say I thought that was fine, Northwind. That is your incorect interpretation.

I have clearly stated I find esmz's experience sad and unacceptable. However, if she wishes to avoid a repeat it's very esay. If I walk through a bunch of neo-Nazis in Heilbronn next week I'll shut up. Their attitudes and behaviour are unacceptable to the majority of Germans but I have no intention of joining polizei statistics for beaten up foreigners, and opening my mouth would reveal a foreign accent.

Updates, Sara rang the police a little while ago, and they've just left now, took some details and a description. They told us we should have told them at the time. 🙁 Might have caught them. It's recorded though, and they've said they'll let the patrols know.

Hopefully it won't happen to some-one else now.

Edukator I sort of understand what you're saying, but sometimes it would be cool not to have to worry about it, and normally the Cowley road, no-one gives a ****.

But Educkator is allowed his views, and we are allowed ours, thats what freedom of speech is for,Educator makes some good points, but is seemingly in a class of his own,on here but not in real life.

Whilst a good number of posters seem to think going to the police is the answer I can't help thinking that it's easier to adapt to one's environment than go on a crusade to change it. And if you are going to go on a crusade it might be a good idea to be numerous aka. gay pride.

Unbelievable. Some how I don't think America would have a black fella as president if Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King had sat meekly at the back of the bus. If people are being homophobic, racist or sexist dicks, then they need to change, not the targets of their stupidity. Emz, you crusade away, my lovely. Get down the police station and report it.

Yup, I know the STW enviroment Ernie. The big hitters, the handwringers, the Internet hard, the politically correct, the outraged, the Mail readers, the foreigners, those with an agenda, those that are here for a laugh.

Tolerance there isn't though.

Anyone want to chip in to send Edukator to Heilbronn dressed as a gay jewish gypsy?

Emsz, most importantly, glad you're both ok in the end. You handled a scary situation well.
You can't reason with morons, there is nothing to be gained by not walking on fast. They sound like the sort of cowardly scum that would hit girls too, so its good that it didn't escalate. They [u]will[/u] pick one fight too many, bullies always do, and they'll get their karma. Hopefully soon.
They're jealous, miserable idiots and they'll stay that way. You're safe and happy, and you can still report it if you decide to- its never too late.
edit: just seen your post about reporting it. nice one.

Know your environment and adapt to it if you wish to prosper

have you been smoking crystal meth with the pope this evening..?

I'd love to sit you in a roomful of UK school leavers with your views.. they'd eat you for breakfast

Educator your right the country has changed a lot since you lived here and for the better. Homophobia is not the norm and the homophobic are not to be tolerated or accommodated.

to a certain extent I agree with Edukator's construct, but its a matter of how tolerant you feel your environment is. I think Edukator might have a slightly out-of-date understanding of how far we've come in the UK. I think the last 10 years has seen massive progress in the normalisation of gay life.

But the principle of acting cautiously as an individual in a society where the [s]majority[/s] a significant minority oppose you is sensible to say the least. I just dont think that applies in Oxford.

What brings about change is the coalescence of a minority around someone/some organisation brave enough to stand out. No individual should be considered a lesser person because they didnt act unilaterally.

Is the right to hold hands down Cowly road worth fighting for, Mrs Toast? Hardly in the Rosa Parks or MLK league is it. MLK and RP were fighting against instututionalised racism. emsz is fighting a few ignorant blokes flaunting the law. IMO they aren't worth her time or effort, she'd be best to ignore them and behave in a way that means they'll ignore her.

YES - it IS worth fighting for the right to hold hands with whoever we want.

Rachel

Edukator - Member

Just riding a bike has got me pleny of insults. I've been gobbed at, had soft drinks sprayed at me, cigarettes thown at me, and I've been deliberately run off the road.

Obviously you gave up riding bikes?

Edukator - Member

Tolerance there isn't though.

And according to you people should shut up and conform. So why don't you lead by example ?

Things have [url= http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2011/02/15/man-stabbed-in-unprovoked-anti-gay-attack-in-north-london/ ]really progressed[/url] (not), Crankboy. I was shocked by the results of my Google search. Homophobia would appear to be rife and violent in today's Britain. All the more reason to be discrete in public.

this is a troll right..?
I know that edukator has spouted some utterly ignorant guff in the past but surely this is a deliberate troll..?

I think the last 10 years has seen massive progress in the normalisation of gay life.

+1

Very big change in last decade.

Yup, I know the STW enviroment Ernie. The big hitters, the handwringers, the Internet hard, the politically correct, the outraged, the Mail readers, the foreigners, those with an agenda, those that are here for a laugh.

You forgot the ones who can't admit they were wrong.

Because STW is a place where I don't need to shut up and confrom, Ernie. Remember what I said about only expressing one's gayness in places it won't be an issue.

If there are plausible threats of real violence against me on this forum I'll stop posting. So far I haven't coem across any psoters quite that deranged but you never know... .

Edukator, I just don't want to have to think about it. Imagine living in a world where a quick kiss in public would be something you thought twice about, rather than just a sign of affection between two people?

Well I'll tell you, it's shit.

We carried on walking, BTW (well, trying not to run really) holding hands.

When in Britain do as the British do...throw homophobic thugs into prison. It's not a crime in this counrty to be openly gay; abusive, threatening behaviour is and should not be tolerated. Well done emsz.

Care to contribute to the debate Yunki or are you only here to insult me as usual?

Why the need to post that link Edukator ? Emsz gave you an example of homophobia in her first post - didn't you bother reading it ? 😕

What Crankboy says is absolutely correct - homophobia is no longer the norm in the UK.

i think the homophobia is a bit of a red herring,
i reckon the assholes that think its ok to spit on another human being as she walks along the road probably display hatred for people of other races, ages, genders, skin colours, religion etc.
they just hate everyone, ironically even themselves.
theres no reasoning with that type of people, as they only understand violence and intolerance.
glad to hear the OP went to the police, and hope that she and her partner take some comfort from the fact that not everyone is so intolerant.

regards, martin.

A kiss, did you kiss in front of these guys, emsz? Just trying to understand the situation.

Really, Crankboy? The place must have changes a hell of a lot since I was there. I seem to remember gay politicians (or even a hint they might be gay) were considered a security risk, gays in the workplace got nowhere, guys couldn't get a decent role in the university drama society unless they were gay... .

Maybe things have changed - certainly there do seem to be a lot more people out of the closet, and plenty of high profile people who are - including some politicians, so presumably it's not seen as an inherent security risk any more (though claiming expenses for paying your boyfriend rent is still frowned upon). As Stoner says, unfortunately there will always be some neanderthals - and I'm not at all surprised to find some in Oxford (it's not all dreaming spires). Don't let it get you down - most of us are far more enlightened. I mean you have to be a bit lacking upstairs to find two women holding hands at all threatening in any way. I'm just wondering how I've missed the "tasty bird" pics ernie mentions 😉

NO Edukator, we didn't I'm just saying it shit having to think twice about doing that all the time

Inspector Morse would soon sort it out.

I'm just wondering how I've missed the "tasty bird" pics ernie mentions

Emsz has posted a couple of pics on her profile. I can see why some might be jealous 🙂

Is the right to hold hands down Cowly road worth fighting for, Mrs Toast? Hardly in the Rosa Parks or MLK league is it. MLK and RP were fighting against instututionalised racism. emsz is fighting a few ignorant blokes flaunting the law. IMO they aren't worth her time or effort, she'd be best to ignore them and behave in a way that means they'll ignore her.

So because they might occasionally come across some single cell organisms, they should avoid ever holding hands in public? Or would you like to provide a rundown of the places it's OK and those it's not? Alternatively in our world, their behaviour is always acceptable, that of the thugs always not.

i think the homophobia is a bit of a red herring,
i reckon the assholes that think its ok to spit on another human being as she walks along the road probably display hatred for people of other races, ages, genders, skin colours, religion etc.
they just hate everyone, ironically even themselves.

This.

I think lots of things I have to do I think are shit. I hate putting my T-shirt back on when I get back to the town centre when I'm out running and it's 35°C+. I don't like givng way to cars when I have right of way. I feel like driving the point of my ski stick into the calf of the guy that's jumped the lift queue. But I put my T-shirt on, give way to the road hogs and try to feel sorry for the skier that is still in a 9 to 5, dog-eat-dog frame of mind on holiday

Edukator may have a point here, that's being badly laboured, but it is important.
I may be wrong in my understanding of his point, but there are situations when the avoidance of conflict, temporarily, overides principles. This is not a clash of principles, those scum had no principles to clash with.
When there is a situation that could easily escalate into violence, the most important thing is to get safe first. This situation, as emsz described it, could have turned very nasty.

Two girls were outnumbered by a group of thugs, who went out of their way to cross a road, approach them, abuse them and assault them. Emsz did the right thing and got away.
I totally agree with

YES - it IS worth fighting for the right to hold hands with whoever we want.

edukator. The name is ironic. Learn to think mr edukator.