[Closed] Helpless males on the trails

never seen any

More info needed..

In the meantime Ill put the kettle on.

I came across two today. I was a knight in shining armour. 🙂

Migrating toads already?

Usually I'm fine but if one of those "woman" things comes along my brain switches off.

Bloke skills - sadly very much in decline I think.

i just act helpless in the hope that ill get blown off on the trails

I once rode into a fence when I saw a lady MTBer riding towards me.

She didn't stop to help.....

were they riding through your kitchen?
how did you help them, without putting down your iron and mop?

What was their problem? Lost? Broken bike? Riding incompetence?

Sexist.

They only stopped and looked pathetic for a possible glimpse of camel toe

I once gave a bloke a spare innertube 'cos he didn't have a puncture kit and had to get back to Swindon from just above Avebury. He wasn't a serious biker, tho', more a weekend-warrior type with a pretty cheap bike. Does that count? Pumped it up for him, too.
Oh, and tightened a loose crank bolt for a teenager on a bike, but that was a cheap bike, and neither father nor son had any serious tools. But then, I'll bet many don't carry that size of wrench or Allen key.

MAMIL ?

Countzero, you pumped it up for him?!
I like the cut of your jib. 😉

I came across two today

Thats the diffence CG, if that was me (or any other bloke) and a couple of females I would probably end up on the sex offenders register. 😆

Helpless males on the trails

Is this a fantasy of yours, CG?

Discuss, please... 8)

I only carry one riding tool with me, and it ain't much use for fixing the bike...

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Hairy Hands Says No to Sexism

I knew I could rely on you guys to make me chuckle. 😀

They asked me if I had a patch to fix a puncture. I said no but had an inner tube, they then mentioned tyre levers. Yep got those plus a pump. Got them sorted and suggested a double-check that it was definitely in the drop-out.

They were most impressed with my self-sufficiency and chain cleaning advice was also given. Give them their due, the realisation of not having the basics hit home. Most appreciative of help given.

Were full of smiles as they had been having a great first time at Swinley. Mind you, I can just imagine the tales being told of this mad old woman in the woods. 🙄

Oh and I think it's only fair to confess to standing by the trail fluttering my eyelashes in the hope that a gentleman will come to my rescue and fix my bike. 😉

Very good of you c_g, however please don't tarnish us all with the same brush! [i]I[/i] tied my [i]own[/i] shoe laces this morning! 😀

I forgot to wear pants today 😳

Jon Taylor - you need to get your Mum to buy you shoes with velcro. 😉

TSY - did you, er, enjoy the, er, freedom? 😉 Did any of the ladies notice or were they too polite to comment?

Will you be doing it again tomorrow? 😉

[i]They were most impressed with my self-sufficiency and chain cleaning advice was also given. Give them their due, the realisation of not having the basics hit home. Most appreciative of help given.[/i]

Of course, by the time they get down the pub tonight the story will have changed to them finding you all dressed in lingerie and while they fixed your bike up for you, you kept complaining how hot it was and took all your clothes off..

I think I'm going to pack my gym bag tonight so that I can make sure I've got pants ready for after my swim. Thinking 'outside the box' I call it.

samuri - lol. I should think all men could only dream of having a young fit bird to help them on the trail. 😀

TSY - you have to let go of that box. 'Attachment Disorder' by the sound of it. 😉

Had a great ride today, nailed some descents that I've not managed to do before. 8)

I doubt they'll tell their mates. What man would admit that a dashing damsel came to the rescue.

I would...doesn't ever happen to me though...even in my fantasies...:(

no such thing.

S.Y. surely you meant to say"thinking outside the boxers" boom tish coat 🙂

Bunnyhop - 'dashing damsel' is hardly the phrase I would use! The guys were only about 20 years old but very sweet.

Falling off my bike in front of a MTB girl and looking helpless and pathetic, must try that.
Yours
Desperate
😳

you need to get your Mum to buy you shoes with velcro.

Slip-ons today (as I'm in the car) followed by velcro MTB boots tonight. Hooray!

Sometimes I wish I ran tubes so that some dashing damsel could come rescue me and sweep me off my feet 🙂 and pump my tube up

[i]I doubt they'll tell their mates. What man would admit that a dashing damsel came to the rescue. [/i]

Well last time it happened to me I admitted it but she was so insistant, riding along behind me threatening to call for an ambulance and fix me up. I finally let her help me just to shut her up.

In your dreams samuri. 😀

PS lol at that tag. You've obviously never met me. 🙄

A [s]man[/s] youth can dream!

Well last time it happened to me I admitted it but she was so insistant, riding along behind me threatening to call for an ambulance and fix me up. I finally let her help me just to shut her up.

Samuri - You were in need of several stitiches and this damsel was quite concerned about the amount of blood spurting out of your elbow. Good crash though 🙂

 

Inner tubes are now £6 in all the shops near me. I'm impressed by your generosity in handing these out.

Cannae remember the last time I rode without at least two spare. I think it was in about 1997 when I first started mountain biking on a Raleigh Max. There have been times I've forgotten my secure skewer key (which has the same effect, and is very annoying), but that's different.

Lol at bunnyhop!

Inner tubes are now £6 in all the shops near me. I'm impressed by your generosity in handing these out.

I didn't, I explained why I was asking for cash and they were perfectly happy with that. It was a new tube too.

Swinley earlier today

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Those heels are no good for the drop offs, riser bars look good though 😀

Only run across two in the last few years. One guy I gave a tube to as his experiment with tubeless had gone horribly wrong and none of them was carrying a pump with enough oomph to reseat the tyre. Gave me £2 which was all he had in change - I'm fine with that, its the gesture that counts. I carry patches as well anyway and usually mend the tube, doesn't take much longer than swapping it.

The other was pushing a bike with snapped back axle - odd failure, in fairness there's not a lot anyone can do if that happens, though Ray Mears might be able to whittle one out of an elderberry stem.

I've phoned Swamp Girl to get me a couple of times - once when the road bike blew a tyre in spectacular fashion, the other time when a square taper crank arm came adrift.

This is all in S England though, you might be back late but no one's in danger of being eaten by bears.

Love that pic. 😀

Can I also moan (again) about the huge amount of rubbish around the trails. It does seem to be getting worse, heaven knows what the better weather will bring. 🙁

no you can't it's too boring 🙁

I explained why I was asking for cash and they were perfectly happy with that. It was a new tube too.

this filth gives me wood. someone ban me quick 😈

I'll bet they later agreed that the incident would NEVER EVER be mentioned again. Ever. Like a dark secret they would carry forever.

Misandry!

Definitely the crappesr thread on stw this week.