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I'm like this as well Shib, my reaction usually goes along the lines of "Better you than me". And then I go about my buisness as usual.
Some people have different ways of coping to others, I just accepted that and put up with people posting guff on facebook as most of my facebook friends are nice people.
Don't blame Diana, it's all Prince Philip's fault:
I presume you mean the diana death media tossfest rather than the person. Quite what sparked it all off I've no idea, maybe a cabal of florists infiltrated the media and instigated the public grief competition.
Maybe it was the florists who put out the contract on her.
I had to do it to all my fiends who post their travelling pictures
Gypsy fiends?
Nothing wrong with your moral compass. My Dad died 18 years ago and my Mum 11 years ago. I still miss them, and get a bit emotional when something (usually a song) triggers a poignant memory - but I wouldn't dream of telling a load of random people on the internet about it.
Oh bugger.
Mourning is a shared grief, I always take poeple posting things like that is a way of them sharing their grief with their extended family. If you're not part of that extended family just hide the post and move on, who cares?!
I'm far too self involved to care about other peoples troubles.
Move on from it Shibbo, just scroll past.
I think a bbit a grief is healthy. I've only really known one of my close family to die, my aunt ( dads sis) who I was v close to. I was 14 when she died and the funeral was full of tears and laughter. I can't listen to Wednesday Week by the Undertones without instantly remembering watching my uncles shoulders heaving as he sobbed in the church as it played
We all ( as a family) post memories and wotnot on FB of her all the time
Probably a bit weak, Right?
We all ( as a family) post memories and wotnot on FB of her all the time
Stop making me feel like a twunt Emsz! You see, this is why I need recalibrating...
In my defense, as long as you don't put drivel like in my original post, you should be fine...
Not weak at all.
I can't see anything wrong with talking about grief.
Not healthy keeping it in.
Whatever gets you through the night is good.
Can I raise a pertinent point at this juncture?
Who needs a hug?
Who needs a hug?
Me! If only so I can post a cloying, gooey facebook post thanking the lovely gawjus peeps on Singletrack for their group hug.
Her funeral was one of the best day's riding I had 😀I blame Princess Diana.
I've managed to avoid all this mawkish stuff by delegating facebook activity to my wife = she filters the rubbish and keeps me updated on the relevant stuff (usually along the lines of have you seen your niece's latest selfie 🙄 )
Ooops am I exhibiting an empathy fail?
Who needs a hug?
Careful now binners, you'll only make Hora more upset.....
Is there a period where it's ok to post grief related stuff or should it all be kept away from social media?
My friends dad died recently and his family have been posting a lot of pictures. I don't think this is too bad, but if it goes on for years then maybe.
Is there a period where it's ok to post grief related stuff or should it all be kept away from social media?
I think the first few minutes is fine, as long as it's accompanied by "His/her family have been informed", like they do on the news.
Other than that, facebook should be used purely for smutty innuendo, videos of accidents, and photos that hint at a lifestyle more opulent than anyone else's.
Shibboleth - MemberIs there a period where it's ok to post grief related stuff or should it all be kept away from social media?
Ripe for a selfie that 😆
I set fire to the flowers on those little shrines that appear by the side of the road...
Tell you what, there's a tree outside Longbridge that has had flowers - many, many flowers - stuck around it for as long as I've been in the area, knocking on eight years. That ain't healthy, man, they folks need to move on.
[url= http://selfiesatfunerals.tumblr.com/ ]Fill yer boots[/url]bikebouy - MemberShibboleth - Member
Is there a period where it's ok to post grief related stuff or should it all be kept away from social media?
Ripe for a selfie that
[i]Other than that, facebook should be used purely for smutty innuendo, videos of accidents, and photos that hint at a lifestyle more opulent than anyone else's.[/i]
Obvs 8)
The Amount of self editing I have to do on a Sunday morning is getting out of control
It was a few posts ago - but I think Pondo just summed up the internet in a single phrase "what I am trying to say is, I don't know".
Turn off all the computers and get drunk, the job is done.
My own solution to a similar problem was to remove my self from face book. The catalyst was the umpteenth reference to "my baby" whilst talking about their grown (and very alive) children, after posting "he's not your ________ing baby, he's 18 ________ing years old" I had a brief think about the fact that I had six friends on Facebook with whom I wouldn't be able (because of distance) to go for a drink to discuss pointless drivel but would like to, a lot of "facebook friends" whom I wouldn't visit the pub with, except by sheer coincidence, and a number with whom I did go to the pub and thus didn't really use face book for anything other than sharing my (obviously hilarious) thoughts on topical news stories. And voila I'm Facebook free.
Nothing wrong with your moral compass mind, your anger is clearly your way of dealing with your overwhelming empathy with the poster some people cry, some get angry, let it out, share it and you'll feel less angry...
Shibboleth - Member
Bizarrely, the overwhelming majority of humans - myself included - lose our loved ones
Ooh ooh me, me. I'm in the the overwhelming minority. A mate I hung out with at secondary school died a few years back, but by then we'd lost contact for quite a few years, I heard about his death through my sister a while afterwards. But that's it. I can't think of anyone who was more than a passing acquaintance in my life, dying. Every family member I've ever known since I was a child is still alive. I'm 35 now. Never been to a funeral.
Statistically, I guess people are going to start dropping like flies around me sooner or later, but I'm pretty certain I won't be posting anything on Faceache about it...
Alternatively point out the factual inaccuracy of their "gained a star" nonsense. This isn't bible belt America, were allowed to contradict I-read-it-in-a-book-when-i-was-little-so-it-must-be-true-nonsense-facts with hard science.
Be nicer to cats.
Tell you what, there's a tree outside Longbridge that has had flowers - many, many flowers - stuck around it for as long as I've been in the area, knocking on eight years.
If it's killing so many people it should be chopped down.
I see what you did there HUGHSTEW. It made me laugh, i do apologise.
Different people act differently. I would never do it myself (lost both parents) but my older brother sometimes posts about it on Facebook.
A very good friend is currently playing out her advanced brain tumour situation via Facebook (she's now in a hospice, aged 42) and it is quite disturbing sometimes to read of her situation but she finds it cathartic so who am I to question it? I guess the same goes for those people who have lost others - they just find it helps to share their emotions...
I can't think of anyone who was more than a passing acquaintance in my life, dying. Every family member I've ever known since I was a child is still alive. I'm 35 now. Never been to a funeral.
Maybe when a few of your closest friends or relatives die you might want to rethink your lack of empathy for others in the same situation.
My dad died when I was thirteen, my mum died two years ago, my sister-in-law's son committed suicide a year or so back following a period of bullying at the farrier college he was going to. Other friends and relatives have lost close family members, so I do have a lot of empathy for those who find it difficult to contain the grief and sense of loss.
It might ultimately make you a better human being.
A very good friend is currently playing out her advanced brain tumour situation via Facebook (she's now in a hospice, aged 42) and it is quite disturbing sometimes to read of her situation but she finds it cathartic so who am I to question it? I guess the same goes for those people who have lost others - they just find it helps to share their emotions...
I think that's a different kind of thing - I think and hope it's helpful for her to share, and I think it helps other people in that situation, too. Maybe it's just me, but I've always felt that sharing grief publicly, after the fact*, is just a bit self-indulgent, and not really a positive thing.
* By which I mean years after the fact.
Does anybody actually know what's going to happen in 10 or 20 years to all the emotionally incontinent drivel and personal information they are posting in public via farcebook and the like?
An enormous proportion of my facebook feed consists of posts I don't agree with, am not terribly interested in or which make me cringe that someone thought it was appropriate to post them.
I assume that the person making them is speaking to a sub-set of their facebook audience which does not include me, and move on.
🙂
We had a friend die terribly young (39) of breast cancer. On her birthday every year lots of her friends change their profile picture for the day to a picture of a sunflower they have grown that year- it was the flower that was handed to everyone at her memorial service at her instruction.
Nothing is said. It's a relatively subtle way of using social media for stuff like this - I kind of like it. I hope it doesn't seem too morbid by other people who didn't know her.
Nothing is said. It's a relatively subtle way of using social media for stuff like this - I kind of like it. I hope it doesn't seem too morbid by other people who didn't know her.
Thats a subtle gesture of remembrance. I think the OP is more about the open gushing of sycophantic fawning comments.
Facebook would have a series of buttons. Like, Dislike, Pish, WTF etc
Maybe when a few of your closest friends or relatives die you might want to rethink your lack of empathy for others in the same situation.
How does he lack empathy? Just said he hasn't lost a relative.
A girl I lived with at Uni died soon after we graduated. I didn't really get on with her, perfectly indifferent individual, just not my kind of person. The outpourings of grief on her Facebook page from people who felt similarly ambivalent seemed a bit crass for me. Actually had a bit of an argument with a mutual friend as I didn't think it appropriate to go to the funeral of someone I didn't particularly like in life, why, because they've died should I start liking them? Tragic as it was.
People still write on her profile fairly regularly, I find it a bit weird.
It's easy enough to unfriend people, do them all at the same time if you wish to avoid offending. I've always thought of this place as the height of don't-speak-ill-of-the-dead correctness. I've only posted one RIP thread in ten years and nobody posted on it.
Only read a few posts then had to skip to the end to post this....
This popped up in my FB feed today, a work colleague shared it. I really did want to comment on it, but in a moment of weakness I decided not to.
Two issues. One, the wording. What the actual F?! Second, the tat. If there was a petition to sign to get all that tat removed then yes, I'd sign it!
[img] 
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There's a lot to er, um..... appreciate in that there Houns.
It's impressive.
Some people are proper grief mongers
Hmmm.
I must admit that, like the OP, I often find this type of thing rather cloying and slightly vomit-worthy. That's just my opinion though.
Everybody expresses grief differently, and if I don't like the way that somebody does it then really I think that's my problem not theirs.
Flowers at the roadside I see as positive even after 15 years as is the case on one local bridge and accident black spot. France tried leaving wrecked cars then black human silhouettes at accident sites but it wasn't good for tourism and radars were found to be more effective. Foreigners have been immune to the radars and are disproportionately represented in both flash numbers and accidents.
Apart from deleting facebook; or having a purge of all the bed-wetting professional grievers, how can I become more tolerant of this sort of crap???
What do you mean apart from, do it.
Help Recalibrate My Moral Compass
Uhmm not sure headings like that help! You sound a touch like them.
.This morning, it was "On this day, 21 years ago, heaven gained a new star... I MISS YOU MUM! The pain is greater than ever... :("
Doubt this person is grieving as much as they make out. Just the way people behave nowadays. Go back 20 years or more and you would never find all those flowers by the side of the road. You only have to look twitter to see what shite people put on the internet. Nothing wrong with what she/he said they should just keep it to themselves....... Its just not British!
One, the wording. What the actual F?! Second, the tat
Ok I give you the wording but if someone wants to show their love for their dead child be doing that then I dont really see WTF it has to do with me or anyone else tbh.
Is it my place to tell them how to grieve and honour their lost child?
Is their a set way to do it and we must all do it the same way?
We all cope in different ways and personally I have no desire to further upset a grieving parent by informing them how they must adhere to what I decree is appropriate
As for FB I dont bother with it much really but many things and people on the internet leave me going mleh
There's a 'shrine' that I've passed a few times that always has flowers, It looks like It's well kept & I don't have any problem whatsoever with it.
It's on The Woodhead Pass road, dunno if anyone on here has ever seen it?
What boils my water about FB is people who put photo's on of their plate full of food. WHAT THE **** is all that about??