[Closed] Grow up FFS

When I walk through the office at work I like to pretend it's the lobby scene from the matrix...

I pretend I'm a millionaire while I'm having a poo.

When I ride down the Belmont descent I actually cackle really loud like a bond villain! I'm 41 but feel about 12

This is without doubt a totally ace thing. I never ever want it to change! Ever!

Have been known to quote the following, prior to conducting annual appraisals.... 😳
[i]The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know My name is the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon thee. [/i] 😉

Dear panel,

When out & about, if one runs across a load of primary school kids doing cycling proficiency, is it acceptable to bunny hop over a speed bump and then accelerate away out of the saddle, waving cheerily?

Andy

I own Lego. Star Wars Lego. I'm 39.

Andy, yes. It is obligatory to ride to full radnezzz in such situations.

When I decide to grow up i'l let you know

I'm 46 maybe one day I'll grow up

I'm 36, i'm currently obsessed with finding parts to build a screen accurate lightsaber

I'll grow up when I damn well feel like it

I'm 55. It hasn't been necessary to grow up yet and it's probably not worth the effort now.

When I push a trolley through a supermarket I make quiet engine, gearchange and tyre skidding noises to myself. I'm 46.

Anyone else pull off some rad trolley 360 action?

I'm guilty of trolley grand prix action also.

My trolleys get the Scandinavian flick

Raindog - Member

When I push a trolley through a supermarket I make quiet engine, gearchange and tyre skidding noises to myself.

You know when you get stuck behind slow walking people? I make the 'boost' noise from Burnout when I finally get the chance to pass them.

Skillz, iDave, skillz......

Dairylea on toast is my favourite food.

Ian 43

iDave - Member
My trolleys get the Scandinavian flick

I rolled a trolley in Tesco once. Foot on wheel to get it to corner, foot slipped off wheel, over goes Atlaz and his trolley full of shopping. I looked like a monumental dick but shopping at a 24-hour shop in the middle of the night meant nobody really saw (hopefully).

When I ride up and down the Downs, I pretent to be either Fabian Cancellara, Philip Gilbert or Sammi Sanchez (my current most popular choice)
I killed it yesterday on the roads, wet leafy steep roads, today they're drier but more leaf covered.

I rode in Orange (Euskatel Orange) today, la cabeza llevó a cabo el colmo, piernas que quemaban, pulmones que reventaban, goteo de la nariz.

Long live Youth.

My trolleys get the Scandinavian flick

I do tend to try and hold the slide for as long as I can......my record is just past the bagels

When I'm on nights and wondering through the quiet, mostly empty hospital corridors, I pretend I have a pair of pistols cocked and ready to shoot zombies....

DrP

My trolleys get the Scandinavian flick

I do tend to try and hold the slide for as long as I can......my record is just past the bagels

Ah, well I only rally trolleys in the garden centre. In the supermarket it's F1 style smoothness.

When I [b]walk[/b] down to the warehouse at work, on a particular right-hand turn I take the perfect racing line and exit the corner with just "two wheels" on the curb on the far left.

Sometimes make skidding noise, depends on state of tyres and tyre choice for that day.

I'm 44.

I cant resist spinning around in chairs.

When I'm on the road bike I pretend I'm a WW2 pilot shooting baddies (Car drivers) I have a scratch on my lense which doubles up as a cross hair.

I'll grow up when I find some one I want to grow up like.

In the supermarket it's F1 style smoothness.

Flatland trickz in Waitrose FTW!

i still find audible flatulence funny

Anyone else pull off some rad trolley 360 action?

[url= http://www.misternicehands.com/ ]I still find audible flatulence funny

[/url]

Whenever i pick up / put down anything heavy i make pneumatic hissing noises as if i have bionic knees.

Also if handed a pan or collunder i will immediately, compulsively put it on my head and pull faces

Whenever I visit the local Decathlon store, I ALWAYS* have to have a go on the scooters, whizzing up and down the aisles at speed. I have been told off by staff about this. I'm 42.

* including one occasion when I popped in whilst working. With a 50 yr old colleague. Both wearing suits.

When I was a kid, I used to 'ride' shopping trolleys by getting a head of speed up and then jumping and locking my arms out on the bar. Occasionally, I still do.

You can't do it with the shallow trolleys though. If you try and do it with those, they squirt out from underneath you, nose upwards, and you go [i]splat[/i] full length in the Tesco Extra car park in Cardiff. I imagine.

Also if handed a pan or collunder i will immediately, compulsively put it on my head and pull faces

Sieve + wooden spoon = Kendo.

I will often mutter to myself..."And who'd have thought it after all these years, but here he is, Darcy, representing Ireland at the Olympics...". This will be when undertaking any sporting endeavour...whatever the sport. Even swimming. Which I'm shitter than a ball bearing at. 🙂

Cougar - Member

When I was a kid, I used to 'ride' shopping trolleys by getting a head of speed up and then jumping and locking my arms out on the bar. Occasionally, I still do.

I do this everytime i'm in the supermarket. Including this morning for the full length of the egg/rolls ailse

I still year shorts to school. 39 (I am a teacher so not as odd as it could be).

I make up voices for animals and say things out loud as if I am that animal when I see them.

I'm 44.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who pisses around with trollies.

I do also try and wheelie my road bike.

In my defence, I'm only 20.

I still avoid the gaps between paving slabs.
49 and 3/4

I embarrass my wife by dancing to the background music in DIY stores 😳

I sing the Bodyform song in the supermarket. 🙂

"I sing the Bodyform song in the supermarket"

I only do that when I rollerblade with a dalmation

I'm teaching my 21 month old daughter to 'pull my finger' and to exclaim 'poot' and laugh when she farts.

That's just part of being a dad - right?

I make up voices for animals and say things out loud as if I am that animal when I see them.

I quack to ducks, moo at cows etc when out on rides. Not making the noises, you understand, just say "moo".

jump off the steps in town centre where all the emos hang out @ 57 😳

I shout at myself to try harder when I'm riding solo and my legs start hurting.

I also land my daughter's pushchair both wheels together when I "drop" it off kerbs.

I rolled a trolley in Tesco once.

Big LOL 😀

I'm listening to Busted. Right now.

"Cause she's so right for me, her daddy disagrees.."

Also I honk people.

float - Member

i still find audible flatulence funny

I think whoopee cushions are very funny, but mooning is even funnier

I always make a face and often strike an amusing pose at the security cameras at work

When I'm climbing on my mountainbike I make motocrosser noises in my head, and when I'm descending I go 'WHEEEEEEEEEEE' in my head and laugh out loud on singletrack

I'm 56

Played knock-a-door-run. ( complete spur of the moment thing).

...I'm 46

Chris

1'54 onwards is what happens in my head in the woods. Neeoooooooooow 😈

Dropping into chimp gait while out with Mrs S is my favourite. I've taught my daughters's fiancé to do it as well!
I'm 49 in a month.

42 and still do the odd random human beatbox, trouble is I now hear my 8 year old son do it and think oh NOOOOOOOOOOO!.... what have I done? Word!

When I'm typing on STW I pretend to myself that I have something useful to say.

i have taught my 1yr old son to giggle when he farts or burps

when on nice swoopy singletrack through trees I am also on a speederbike / spitfire

when I'm on my own. I pretend the tv remote and my phone are spaceships

I'm 35 and 1 day

When I pull my buff over my face, in my head I pretend I'm a superhero 😳

Today I even bought a Spiderman buff 😳

In the pub last night i told some girl that "my mate fancies you".

41 and 8 months.

I'm really hoping that Santa gets my lad the Lego T1 campervan!

42 and 3/4

samuri - Member

I make up voices for animals and say things out loud as if I am that animal when I see them.

I'm 44.

if anyone bends over, or otherwise brings attention to their posterior, whether it be on the tellybox or in an actual real world situation, i HAVE to blow a raspberry. just, y'know, cos farts are funny...

i'm 43½

I wish I hadn't discovered the lego T1 campervan.

Or the shop what sells lots of lego online. 🙁

[img] [/img]
Woah!!

Today I was 'sending it' over a bank on my cyclocross bike in our club race. Although this got some cheers, on lap 3 my bars rotated forwards and I had to spend the rest of the race with my hands near my knees so I could use the brakes. (tthew, aged 37 1/2)

48 and three quarters still cant decide what to do when i leave school. still plenty of time yet as i cant retire till im 68.

ratherbeintobago - Member

Dear panel,

When out & about, if one runs across a load of primary school kids doing cycling proficiency, is it acceptable to bunny hop over a speed bump and then accelerate away out of the saddle, waving cheerily?

Andy

When I worked in a school, another (also mature) female member of staff and I had office chair races down the hall.

I occasionally mess myself. 😳

I'm [i]thirty nine[/i].

😯

[img] [/img]

No it's true; look!

[img] [/img]

I act like a mature adult at all times.

I'm 17.

Here's my list,

I pretend to be a monster when walking on my own and make thunderous footstep sound fx's.

I try to hand glide on supermarket trollies using my body wieght to go around corners.

When cycling I pretend that cars and other vehicles are crashing and blowing up around me and I'm swerving through it all and I also talk to animals and birds when out and about.

I'm 38.

I dont pretend to be naff all. I do meow at the neighbours cat from time to time though. One of the cats meows back if i do it... if i speak to it,its silent.

Cullen, you even act like a boss from time to time. "martin,you are sacked!"

but then you scurry off!

Whenever a work shirt of mine is past its best, I put it on then rip it open in a Superman stylee.

I've spent the last year attempting to get my knee down on an MTB.

One day, I shall succeed AND stay on the bike.

I'm 42 and a half.

I suck jelly through a straw, it makes great farting noises, kids love doing it, wife has to leave the room.

I get my daughter to press my nose when I want to burp.

I shoot pedestrians and drivers with my invisible death-ray laser when out riding.

My supermarket trolley is a Spitfire, the others are Messerschmitt's, I manage to shoot most of them down, which is nice as I live near the German border.

I'm 49.

I have recently used my hairbrush as a microphone. (in front of the mirror)

am 20

I make motorbike noises when i overtake people, and when accelerating out of corners.

I want a star wars Lego advent calendar. I'm 43.

When I was a kid, I used to 'ride' shopping trolleys by getting a head of speed up and then jumping and locking my arms out on the bar. Occasionally, I still do.

Always. It's the law.

1. It's christmas shopping time, so to make it bearable I use the tubes of wrapping paper as bazukas to shoot ditherers out of my way, complete with a "THUNK" noise as I fire it.

2. When in a quiet shop with the GF and she whispers to me "I need a poo!", I reply in a loud voice "YOU NEED A WHAT, LOVE?"

Jimmy, 35 in 3 days.

When asked, "Have you farted?" I will always reply, "No. Would you like me to?"

emsz - Member
I have recently used my hairbrush as a microphone. (in front of the mirror)

am 20

Yay! 🙂

(Hugs Emsz)

Good to have you back. X