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[Closed] Grow up FFS

 emsz
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Yeah well...

I got told off by Sara when I told her. 😳


 
Posted : 06/11/2011 9:43 pm
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I also still covet Lego. And regularly use a Danger Mouse pillowcase.

34 1/2 next month.


 
Posted : 06/11/2011 9:44 pm
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When I'm pushing hard on the road bike I pretend I'm on a solo break trying to stay ahead of the peleton. I thought everyone did this? It's actually a pretty effective motiviator I find.. plus it's something to occupy my mind.

I try and 'handbrake' shopping trolleys with one foot on one wheel.

When I worked for the council mowing lawns, the ride on mower had a turning circle that meant you couldn't mow a new row next to the one you'd just done without doing a wide loop or a three point turn. The intelligent way to do it was to do a wide turn and mow a new strip in virgin grass then at the end of that row loop back with another wide turn to get the strip adjacent to the first one. What I found more fun though was to slam the thing into reverse (whilst going forwards), turn then slam back on full fowards throttle doing half a donut, power-sliding the mower around quickly enough to mow the next bit. How that thing survived I'll never know.


 
Posted : 06/11/2011 9:46 pm
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I still try to body pop along with MTV! wasn't very good 20 years ago either but I will get it right before I die! 40 now though!


 
Posted : 06/11/2011 9:50 pm
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I use the tubes of wrapping paper as bazukas to shoot ditherers out of my way, complete with a "THUNK" noise as I fire it.

They also make great impromptu lightsabers. You're welcome.

How that thing survived I'll never know.

How the lawn survived, I'll never know. (-:


 
Posted : 06/11/2011 9:51 pm
 DezB
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I went to see a band on Saturday night.
Told the wife the next day I was "down the front jumping around".
She said I was childish 🙁

They were bloody brilliant btw, The Glitch Mob.
Grow up? F OFF!

(oh yeah, I'm 48 in a couple of months)


 
Posted : 06/11/2011 9:52 pm
 ton
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i am currently teaching my 2 yr old grandaughter the finger pulling/farting thing.

i wedgie my son nearly everytime i see him, he inturn licks his finger and sticks it in my ear.

i stand and have screaming tantrum arguments with my 14 yr old daughter, whilst doing the whole 'whatever girlfriend' hand swish thing.

i walk round the house in just my undercrackers, but with them pulled up as far as they will go, while asking my wife if she fancies me.

45 going on 13 8)


 
Posted : 06/11/2011 9:57 pm
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I watched a film this afternoon, 17 Again.. Yeah that one with Zak Efron in it.. It was excellent.. I laughed and also at one point shed a small teeny tear..

On occasions like this I do wish I was 17 again myself.

I know it's totally impossible, I know it's a pathetic thought, but somedays, some, I do wish..

So what I do is feel young, play young, have a youthful outlook (dispite the odd occasion) I have the outlook that I'd rather blow out than fizzle out.

And.. I do wear tight jeans, but I do look sooooo good in them.


 
Posted : 06/11/2011 10:08 pm
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To whoever posted about the lego advent calendars, thank you. Have just ordered a star wars one for me, and a lego city one for the GF.

My favorite game is when shopping and waiting for the OH to come out of a changing room to find random bits of clothing to be wearing when she comes out. Happily I haven't been waiting in a shop where the waiting rooms are next to the lingerie section 😯

Shopping trolleys are always great, I like hiding in the duvet cover when putting it on the bed too


 
Posted : 06/11/2011 10:12 pm
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tthew.....maximum points for ss cx airtime today.Should have got the win for that 😀
Me,I ride childrens bikes every week (aged 38 1/4)


 
Posted : 06/11/2011 10:16 pm
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I'm the oldest Ripstik rider at the skatepark. Still can't grind though 🙁 . (I'm 44)


 
Posted : 06/11/2011 10:21 pm
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I do Michael Jackson 'heeeeeeeee heeeeeeeeeeee' impressions if i feel i am riding a particular section of singletrack well.
Rob, aged 42 1/2.


 
Posted : 06/11/2011 10:21 pm
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Forcing a really deadly flufty (thats what we call farts in our house) while standing at the supermarket checkout.
Hollering at the top of my voice while descending of road.
Hollering at the top of my voice while descending on road.
Blag off work to go riding.
Im 49.


 
Posted : 06/11/2011 10:22 pm
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i walk round the house in just my undercrackers, but with them pulled up as far as they will go, while asking my wife if she fancies me.

😆

The horror! 😯

Made me feel quite quesy just thinking about that actually, Ton...


 
Posted : 06/11/2011 10:33 pm
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emsz - Member

Yeah well...

It shows tremendous maturity to un-flounce... your age clearly belies your wisdom.


 
Posted : 06/11/2011 11:01 pm
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Forgot the most obvious one.
Among all of my mates we have a rule that you have to call safety when you fart. If you don't and someone realises (audible or nasally) they shout doorknob and beat you until you can grab hold of a doorknob.

Very childish, but its affect is spreading.


 
Posted : 06/11/2011 11:04 pm
 emsz
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to be fair, it wasn't much of a flounce.

I'll try harder next time


 
Posted : 06/11/2011 11:22 pm
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Yeah, fair do's... don't forget to have a flouncing theme tune.

Feel free to borrow my flouncing tune, 'Time of my Life'.


 
Posted : 06/11/2011 11:26 pm
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I don't think we've had many permanent flounces.


 
Posted : 06/11/2011 11:31 pm
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Forgot the most obvious one.
Among all of my mates we have a rule that you have to call safety when you fart. If you don't and someone realises (audible or nasally) they shout doorknob and beat you until you can grab hold of a doorknob.

We had that at school.


 
Posted : 06/11/2011 11:32 pm
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well the good ones continue then


 
Posted : 06/11/2011 11:33 pm
 DezB
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[i]Michael Jackson 'heeeeeeeee heeeeeeeeeeee' impressions if i feel i am riding a particular section of singletrack[/i]

Aah! I always thought that was your brakes squealing 🙂


 
Posted : 06/11/2011 11:35 pm
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I don't think we've had many permanent flounces.

Surf Mat... he knew how to flounce. He knew how to do everything though so it's hardly surprising that when he flounced, he did it the best.


 
Posted : 06/11/2011 11:37 pm
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Should have got the win for that
Still first club rider home. [img] [/img]


 
Posted : 06/11/2011 11:39 pm
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The Southern Yeti - Member

I don't think we've had many permanent flounces.

Surf Mat... he knew how to flounce. He knew how to do everything though so it's hardly surprising that when he flounced, he did it the best.

I miss Surf Mat.

His dad taught Phil Lynott how to flounce, you know.


 
Posted : 06/11/2011 11:40 pm
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SurfMat did an awesome flounce.


 
Posted : 06/11/2011 11:42 pm
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Surf Mat, yesterday.
[img] ?5136[/img]


 
Posted : 06/11/2011 11:51 pm
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SurfMat was just awesome. In fact he was older than all of us yet, at the same time younger...

Anyway, back to the topic.

- When I walk into a hotel foyer with hold-all in hand, I am Neo.
- I lock my arms and ride supermarket trolleys round the aisles and across the car park at speed. Never lost one yet.
- I enjoy Nerf battles with my 7 y/o son. The "nuggets" shot being the highest scoring.
- I have been known to "hunt" members of the family with my Nerf rifle.
- When someone is in the shower, turning off the light and running away will reduce me to helpless giggles.
- I still get scared in the dark when I should know better.

I'm 45. What is this growing up that you speak of?


 
Posted : 06/11/2011 11:56 pm
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For all you Trolley crashers can I present - [url=

of Darkness[/url]. Watch the full movie, quite poignant.

I will never let a pun go unsaid.

I started a moshpit - by myself


 
Posted : 06/11/2011 11:57 pm
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The Southern Yeti - Member

Yeah, fair do's... don't forget to have a flouncing theme tune.

Feel free to borrow my flouncing tune, 'Time of my Life'.

When I finally trip over my bottom lip I'm waddling out of the room to this:


 
Posted : 06/11/2011 11:57 pm
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It's impossible to ride through this short tunnel without making ghost noises (but only if nobody else can hear).

[img] [/img]

Trying to ride it like a fullpipe doesn't work though 🙁


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 12:04 am
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Shouting Father Jack lines is always good too.

DRINK, FE*K, GIRLS, ARSE.


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 12:06 am
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_tom_, is that on Freight Train? If not there's one very like it and yes I did make ghost noises. Everytime!


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 12:12 am
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Yep that's the one 😆


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 12:14 am
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😆


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 12:21 am
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_tom_, is that on Freight Train? If not there's one very like it and yes I did make ghost noises. Everytime!

I'd be quite tempted to yell out the Firestarter intro myself.

Another 40+ (41) trolley rider here - get a disapproving glare from Zoe every time I do it!

Low walls etc. always need jumping up on and walking along (again leading to disapproving glares).

Talking while burping is always good fun.

Realising the 11 year olds I teach have a more mature sense of humour than me.

Hell, we all throw ourselves around on pushbikes for shits and giggles and pretend it's a sport. Doesn't that tell you all you need to know about whether we have grown up or not?

In my 41 year old head I'm still as stupid and indestructible as I was when I was 15, and long may that continue.

slainte 😀 rob


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 1:04 am
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molgrips,me too!
I always try to have sword fights with the practice swords in decathlon.
not many takers though.not random strangers,mind,GFs.
it takes a long time to learn how to be young.picasso.


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 1:21 am
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not many trolley riderz here in spain.prefer to drive like ****s on real roads..


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 1:24 am
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i have the habit of singing along to random crap when out shopping with the missus LOUDLY and the other thing is (shes not here is she good)fart in bed then lift the duvet up with my foot then drop it so she gets blasted i know its bad but she got her own back with

Mrs ck: "do you want me to dust your nuts sweety"

Me: "sounds good go on then"

Mrs ck cuddles up to me pretends to start pulling her pj's off then PHHHAAAAAFFFFFFFFF farts in my direction

Mrs ck: "Ha got you back" rolls over and kisses me followed by "told you id get you back"

Me: stunned to death last time i played the fart game 😯


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 3:45 am
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39 & 10 months
Fart in bed & blame the cat
Drifting shopping trolleys
Pretend to be a robot when doing the dishes (with sounds)
Pull my pajama pants up as high as I can & tuck my singlet in to them
Honk the horn in tunnels
Moshing to punk bands at the pub on saturday night
Growing up is over rated


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 5:15 am
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I'm so overcome by the sense of wellbeing that I have with the world after reading this thread, that I can't think of any things that I do that would typically produce a 'off ffs grow up'. However I know that I do do such things.


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 5:51 am
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When I get the box of Roman armour/weapons in for my S1 pupils,I have to put it on,just to see what it looks like...I'm 43. But actually that's young for a reenactor 😀


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 6:50 am
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Somebody mention Lego Star Wars?

[img] http://www.gadgetreview.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/Darth-Vader-Lego-Spaceship.jp g" target="_blank">http://www.gadgetreview.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/Darth-Vader-Lego-Spaceship.jp g"/> [/img]

Finished on Saturday morning.

46


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 7:57 am
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I still "Bomb" into swimming pools.

Vic age 43.


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 7:59 am
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mugsys_m8 can't think of anything he does.... well he pretends to be his stuffed monkey (which he keeps in his undy drawer) and talks from the stuffed monkey's point of view.

I've threatened if with 'oxfam' or 'rags' but the look of hurt on his face everytime....


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 8:26 am
 Solo
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[i]I'm 45 years old

When I'm on the road bike, on a little muddy lane, in the 53, on the rivet, I like to pretend I'm Sean Kelly in a spring classic
[/i]

I am 42 yrs old.
On Sunday I was on muddy Norfolk backroads.
I wasn't near any rivets, but I encountered lots of nice dog walkers and horse riders.
All of whom I bid a good morning to, and who returned the same sentiment to me.
Everyone in my world was happy, Sunday.

However, I have recently completed the book [i]A Dog in a hat[/i].
So yesterday, while out riding, had thoughts about Kermis races.

🙂


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 9:28 am
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I wear my other half's relatively substantial brassiere's on my head like the kids in Weird Science, just to amuse her of course.....

Erm, and I do the pull your boxers up as high as they will go thing while wearing socks, strutting around the house and uttering lines from Austin Powers.....

Get a good run on the shopping trolley before gliding along with locked arms (can be dangerous in low trolley load situations), and using the relevant foot to brake round corners...

Making skidding noises when in the car when the OH is driving, every time she goes round a corner, regardless of how fast we are going...


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 9:48 am
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What a thread!!

I can't drink anything with a straw in it without blowing bubbles and giggling to myself.

Sometimes on the metro/underground i pretend i'm part of a surveillance team following a foreign spy, and try to blend in and avoid being made by my target.

Sometimes when super commuters trying too hard overtake me on their bike i make a nnneeeeeeeooooowwwwnn sound.

I'm 29 and have a PhD


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 9:58 am
 Solo
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[i]Making skidding noises when in the car when the OH is driving, every time she goes round a corner, regardless of how fast we are going...
[/i]
Excellent !.
😆

I was in such a good mood this weekend, it was all I could do to stop myself from running along in the shopping mall and then sliding across the floor on my knees.

And I still pull a skid when coming to a stop after a quick dash my town bike.
😀


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 10:01 am
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I was as "super commuter" today, I broke my PB to the station, as I crossed the carpark line I raised one hand to the sky and uttered "yes!" (under my breath)
I turned my lights off, blew my nose, ordered a cup of tea from the polish guy, folded my bike and resumed The Order.
I rock me.


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 10:07 am
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"Mummy Mummy, when will I grow up?"

"Don't be silly son, you're a bloke, you'll never grow up"


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 10:10 am
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This is a fantastic thread. Cheered me right up on a Monday morning.

I always aim for the middle of the biggest, deepest, muddiest puddles when I'm out on my bike. When this leads to the inevitable slow-motion-over-the-bars-into-a-bog scenario, I giggle like a 12 year old.

If I ever stop doing this, its time to call it a day


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 10:17 am
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I do handlebar arms, jump onto all small walls and do 30ft jumps off tiny mounds, 360 backflips when out [s]walking[/s] riding my invisible bike.

Im 40 on the outside, 12 inside.

It says technical error but the winner must be the person whom decided to let 30 minutes worth of fireworks off in a minute.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-15611160


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 10:26 am
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Shopping trolley - check. Who doesn't, seriously?

When I fart, I blame my daughter(3)
She does the same to me and has been versed in the ways of doing it as loudly as possible.

Ocrider 38 3/4 and a very proud dad to boot.


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 10:30 am
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I think that firework display was more spectacular than the normal kind to be honest.


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 10:30 am
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I try and pull little endo's whenever I stop on my bike.

I make whooping noises whenever I get more than six inches of air.

Whenever it snows I drive to an empty supermarket car park and do donuts and handbrake turns.

I'm 34 and 1/2


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 11:38 am
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Just checked out the Lego on Amazon, I really need the [url= http://www.amazon.co.uk/LEGO-Technic-8421-Mobile-Crane/dp/B00097E4JW/ref=sr_1_3?s=kids&ie=UTF8&qid=1320659241&sr=1-3 ]LEGO Technic 8421: Mobile Crane[/url]. Pity it's nearly 700gbp!

Although the over 3000 pieces of the £1,795.96 Imperial Star Destroyer would be fun, too.

Along with the perennial favourite, farting:

One of my proudest moments as a dad was teaching my eldest how to blow bubbles in a glass of milk.

And I like shooting cars with the "triggers" on my motorbike when they get in my way on the motorway. With a badda-badda-badda noise FTW.


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 11:48 am
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Surfing trollies is great. Its in my families genes. I do it (57), my son does it (25) and my dad flipped one in Tescos at the age of 67! Wife and daughter tut like submarine sonar.

Also son and I leapfrog post boxes or high bollards. Again started by my old man (who died before son was born). As he his now bigger and stronger than me I have taken to practising on my own. Not quite got to doing reccie trips yet, but it won't be long.


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 12:13 pm
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I regularly give my missus a dutch oven

If I'm shopping with my missus and she's in a changing room trying something on and I'm standing outside the changing room, in my head I pretend she's a super rich socialite and I'm her bodyguard and I scan the shop for any potential assailants. 😳

33 and 10/12ths


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 12:17 pm
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I'm so overcome by the sense of wellbeing that I have with the world after reading this thread

+1 It's giving me a great sense of relief that all the 'stupid' 'immature' behaviour I indulge in is apparently normal for someone aged 49.


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 12:29 pm
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Let's be absolutely clear, this isn't immaturity. It's the very essence of life. Whether it's surfing trollers or whatever, don't ever stop doing it. I bet that for every scowling Victor Meldrew there will be 10 grannies secretly smiling as we drift past them into the tower of beans.


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 12:40 pm
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When I'm on the road bike, on a little muddy lane, in the 53, on the rivet, I like to pretend I'm Sean Kelly in a spring classic
No way. [b]I'm[/b] Sean Kelly.
Here's me out for a ride on Sunday
[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 12:50 pm
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I still laugh at seeing "Brest" in France on in-flight maps 🙂 Oh and when it snows me and my mates go "signboarding" which is kind of like wakeboarding but on snow and you ride an estate agent sign tied to the back of a car in an empty car park. I'm only 22 though so I think this stuff is still acceptable.


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 12:59 pm
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Drifting trolleys and then locking the arms across the supermarket is standard practice for all men I think.
On my last holiday me and my GF spent 2 hours jumping off a jetty in various poses then climbing back to do it again.
I have spent the last summer practising my kicking in the back garden so I can now land a rugby ball into the patio so it stops before it hits the fence.

Lunge, 30 and 11 months.


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 1:05 pm
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This thread keeps making me chuckle!

Another here - I HAVE to BACKFLIP in to water on holiday. Off a watr ski pontoon, a yacht, whatever...


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 1:27 pm
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Supermarket trollies *tick*
Finger pulling trouser tomfoolery (4 year old daugter is now also an expert practitioner) *tick*
Marks on the car windscreen as gun-sights *tick*
Cardboard tube light-sabers/digeridoos *tick*
Matching nerf guns for self, son (aged 5) and daughter (aged 4) *tick*

Have also taught the kids to differentiate between and loudly announce the presence of dog-eggs* and dog-toffee** while out and about - MrsG does not approve.

*well formed and intact
**squidgy or 'stood-in'

Aged fourty three and three quaters


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 1:30 pm
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I look around in banks in case I can foil a heist


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 1:31 pm
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My fave "WakeUp" at the weekend is watching kids cartoons.
Classics excepted my faves curently are (in no order)

Phineus and Ferb
Kim Possible
The League of Super Evil

I am rather a fan of Disney.


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 1:32 pm
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It's my firm belief that ANY sandwich is improved by pouring a whole packet of crisps to it and crunching the whole lot down.

I also still wave at buses and trains.

33 and a half.


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 1:33 pm
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iDave - Member
I look around in banks in case I can foil a heist

i do the opposite. You know the scene in the first Bourne film when he's surveying the cafe, finding the exit, working out who can handle themselves, who is most likely to have a gun..? That's me in public buildings.

I also like to check out where cctv cameras are in shops.


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 1:35 pm
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I'm 36 and pondering my first BMX. Me laddo is getting one for chrimbo...why can't I..?


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 1:49 pm
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When the green man appears at a pedestrian crossing, I have to be the first person to reach the other side


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 2:21 pm
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I like to do the traffic light grand prix thing, so sit there revving the engine if a boy racer turns up next to me, but then as the traffic lights turn, pull off as slowly as I possibly can, watching the boy racer have an anti climax. Keeps me amused, but only works with someone (wife/kids) in the passenger seat.
Also tell the kids (22, 20 and 18) to stand up when we're going up a hill to make the car lighter.

+1 for shopping trollies.

I also like to ride my bike around a lot, bit like I did when I was 12

aged 44 and 11 months


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 2:23 pm
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Singletrack = speederbikes from Return of the Jedi.

Puddles, the bigger the better, even more fun if you hang back from the pack and scream "PUDDLE" as you ride into it flat out, timing your plunge so that a lady victim is next to the puddle.


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 2:38 pm
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Always get excited when I see another plane in the air during a flight!

And, the cross hairs appear......


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 2:40 pm
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I only park on the upstairs car-park at our local tesco as the shiny surface makes 70's car chase noises as you turn, and then I'll finish off with a little hand brake skid into the parking space.

I'll then proceed to walk on the escalator/ramp thing at the pace which makes you appear stationary.

I like to re-arrange the spice jars in tesco that have the big letters on the front to make rude words on the shelf.

I run the taps/flush the loo to make the shower cold for my girlfriend.


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 2:46 pm
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If I hear the word 'beaver' I laugh all day ('cos of THAT joke from Naked Gun).

The word 'gusset' makes me s****.

Funny place/road names - there's a Cock Lane not far from me tee hee hee

I just went for lunch, Babybels now come with a cute little red dish that you can put your cheese in and nuke it so it melts... yummy!


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 2:56 pm
 a11y
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When my best man said he wanted to buy us something for our wedding present that we'd have for a long time, I suggested Scalextric.

27 at the time, still no kids 5 years later but a cracking Scalextric setup 🙂

Do we all need to grow up if we're sitting in the office s****ing away as we read this thread?


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 3:06 pm
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I own a full set of stormtrooper armour, 7 lightsabers have a r/c helicopter, car & tank ! Age 38 1/2


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 3:13 pm
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Yep, turning into a classic this thread

Ok, I admit I might occasionally..

Crank up the volume and pretend I'm playing to a crowd of thousands

Twist the bars and make a 'revving her up' sound

Sing the 'Hawaii Five-O' theme tune whilst twisting through technical singletrack

And week before last.. when youngest (11 yr old tom boy) daughter asked if I would help her and her mates with their den in the woods build: had so much fun I had trouble not showing myself up as secretly wishing I was 11 again. Especially seeing the looks on their faces when we found a badger skeleton. Cool!


 
Posted : 07/11/2011 3:15 pm
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