[Closed] Going off work with stress

Pault - with respect, your case isn't one of stress, just one of bad management. He was foolish in his actions and suffered because of it. Perhaps he went off with stress because of it though...

Stress is very real, I've been experiencing a lot of work based stress recently, but thankfully it seems to have calmed down a bit. I've never been a manager, but made a semi-conscious decision many years ago that I didn't want to progress down a management route. Glad I didn't now.

@ the OP, do you have access to an occupational health department via your employer?

Wife has had several episodes of stress/mental health related absence in the last couple of years mostly due to my illness, and her line manager was realistic enough to recognise that without help & support that they'd end up losing her for good - so they referred her to their occupational health provider, who in turn were able to refer her onto a service offering cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) to see if she could cope with the stress better - 6 months down the line and the answer seems to be yes.

Count yourself lucky you have a job. If you sign off for 'stress' (I put it in inverted commas, as it's a hard illness to actually prove... and easy to fake/exploit) the when it comes to redundancies.... you will be the first on their list.

There will be 20 people willing to take your place, as they would put up with the 'stress' to support their families.

Seriously, MTFU or let someone else have your job.

xiphon - you are right "stress" is not an illness. It is generally a term GPs put on sick notes as an alternative to stating Depression/Anxiety. Check the NICE guidelines Depression and Anxiety are real illnesses.

IME experience people do not take time off work for stress, they take time off work because they are severely depressed and/or highly anxious, often the result of chronic stress. It doesn't take too much googling to see that there are clear physiological links between chronic stress and clinical depression.

They are ill. So ill in fact that they are not only unable to work, but they are unable to do anything. They can be unable to wash and shave, unable to eat, unable to do the simplest of tasks without becoming so exhausted whilst also acutely anxious.

Think of a being in a permanent state of panic 24 hours a day, no rest bite, where jumping in front of a train seems like a completely rationale choice as a means of putting and end to the intolerable pain that you are suffering.

Clearly you have never suffered in this way and I hope you never do, but to say things like consider yourself luck to have a job or MTFU just shows you up as being ignorant.

If its pressure in the work place, as opposed to stress, you can be in the driving seat with pressure. Break the situation down, work through it(maybe take some leave) or work with it if you love the job, or make the usual constructive steps to move on(esp if your boss is tool and you will be stuck in this relationship and you dont have a good team of co-workers around you). If it is stress that is staring to really have an impact on your general mental health start looking after yourself now. I've ignored it, and like GJP, have seen the hell of 24hr panic. No ones cv is more worthy than good mental health.

I think a lot of people are in the wrong job (I know I was).

Companies have a habit of turning the thumbscrews, but hoping nobody will pipe up and complain when they squeeze that bit more out of you for nothing in return. A few years of this equates to a real drop in income. We all thrive on a healthy balance of work pressure, but when the line is overstepped, then people start to feel the strain. Perhaps not straight away, but at some point down the line.

This sort of treatment kills loyalty and goodwill. An unhappy worker is damaging for business in many ways.

Competition is fierce and so it's par for the course for workers to be expected to make sacrifices to keep the operation viable. It's such a shame that there isn't a more equal pay structure and the minions were treated with more respect - terrible man management is commonplace here.

Business owners and managers take on a greater responsibility and their worries extend well outside 9-5. We have to bear this in mind, but when your years of mediocre pay and unwavering loyalty culminates in you being drop kicked out the door, it's difficult to get you head round the fact that all that effort and commitment was in vain. It's a deep insult!

Going forward, you adopt a "what's in it for me" attitude, which just isn't going to set your new employer on fire at the thought of retaining you in hard times. All rather unhealthy!

Then, years after the job has gone and you haven't been able to find any worthwhile job, you do wonder if you should have adopted a different approach to hang on to that high pressure thankless occupation.

Some people are just unlucky, in work, or without work. It can't be a bed of roses for us all, there's always a crock of sxxt to deal with and some get far more than their fair share.

It's symptomatic of an economy which presents too much red tape to business, too much taxation and when it is almost impossible for us to compete with the diminutive wages paid to people making things in the developing world.

We are in a proper mess caused by profligate public spending over a protracted period and reckless lending. Before that we were exposed to a big sell off and washing of hands of the responsibility of sorting out complex issues with our industry and utility companies. There was an obsession with the ideology that market forces would always prevail, but then we let any Tom Dick or Harry put in their bid and with no checks and balances regarding the longterm impact.

The coallition need to lower taxes, but they simply can't afford to. The UK is part way into a very long period of austerity and negligible economic growth. If you do have a job, you ARE in a better place than the unemployed millions who are suffering terribly. They are suffering feelings of no hope and desperation and face loosing their homes, marriages and worse! Life certainly isn't easy these days!

I really must keep off this site. Up until tonight, i've been doing quite well lately!

spongebob - what all that drivel has to do with stress related illness I know not

just ask tho how germany with its higher taxation and higher public spending than us is doing so much better? More red tape and more "barriers to business" as well

A contented worker is one that produces, a stressed and unhappy worker does not. Want high productivity treat your staff well. Thats the german lesson.

Xiphon are you stuck in the 80s along with MF, stress is very real. I've been doing my job for over 21yeaes now I can do it with my eyes shut. Yet here I am week 3 of being off with stress, I've worked on through for best part of a year. Now I really have little energy, I keep loosing my temper for the tiniest thing I'm crying over stupid things or when I feel like a looser.

I've taken time off work as I was not concentrating properly, becoming impatient with my staff and clients. It was a matter of time before I did something that got me into trouble. I'm lucky I have good support from my family, as soon as I told a few friends they started dragging me out on the bike. Add that my employer provides counselling I know will get there ebentually.

A company who makes reduntant someone who is/was off with stress has to be very carefull. And your wrong it can be diagnosed and the fake ones spotted. Get up to date will you it even comes under HSE now.

So much for not saying anything on here.

Drac - despite what I have said, you continue to think I don't think stress is real. I know it is but I was simply questioning the OP motives - WERE they really stressed or using it as an easy excuse to duck their responsibilities as an employee.

Aye sorry MF you did explain later on, kind of forgot whilst reading xiphon's bullshit.

I'm not sure getting signed off with stress is your solution for this one.

If you do that you're going to have a nice break, enjoy the first part and start panicing about returning about half way through. Nothing will change this way.

Take a break with your holidays now and when you return SPEAK TO SOMEONE.

Your manager is obviously new in the job and trying to impress. That's understandable but they obviously are going about it the wrong way. When things settle down they'll probably look back and realise that.

If you can't speak to your manager, speak to their manager. If not them then HR or your union. You never know, they might be able to move you to another team. It is of no benefit of them to have you underperforming and off sick.

Get it on the record that you feel like this then if it doesn't get better and you're off sick they are completely to blame.

I know how difficult it can be to speak up sometimes but with the way it is now, what harm can it do?????

Loads of info here too.

And yes going off can mean it's hard to go back.

http://www.hse.gov.uk/stress/

kind of forgot whilst reading xiphon's bullshit.

Stevenmtb is spot on, you need to raise the issue with someone if you can't talk to your line manager then his or HR. That way there's records, I made the mistake of not but that's what came with working on so long in the end I just had enough. I'll be going back though as I do enjoy my job but not of late.

I think that there is a very fine line between being pissed off and being stressed, and I guess sometimes the two are easily confused!

It is a hard subject to debate.

Take the time for me. You shouldn't have to tollerate this #### culture.
If I could I would have, but being self employed meant I couldn't. For the last year I've been fighting bankruptcy and bailifs, looking after a very ill and demanding wife, looking after two kids,generally fighting to keep my home and familly.I worked day and night to pay the 98k stolen from me, even suffering a nasty accident at work and not taking s single day off except sundays
I'm one month away from being totally sorted and totally debt free. So do what needs be, the system is ####.
Take care

It can be faked quite easily, and I know this from experience. As a test to see how easy it can be, off I go to the doctors, and tell them an imaginary story about how I feel, and how work is building up so much 'stress' within me, etc etc.

10 minutes later, I have a sick note for 3 weeks off.

Do I take it? No, but I could have had a nice holiday in the sun.

So I'm not stuck in the 80s, but in the 10s, where people have an attitude to do as little as possible - any opportunity to [paid] time off work, and they would grab it.

Forgetting those who would work night and day to support their family, in times like these, where they could be made redundant tomorrow.

I stand by my original post - MTFU (and be thankful you have a job) or quit, and give someone who actually wants to work the opportunity.

Hmm I know of people who confuse tiredness with stress. I know someone that takes a lot of time off due to stress. But as I said to him, you take weeks of due to stress, you have a very generous holiday entitlement, you work reasonably short hours, you can stop everything for lunch and yet when your not there no one misses you and your work gets done, so are you sure it's stress?
Edit: Ooh I ranted a wee bit in my previous post.

Xiphon your talking utter rubbish or your Dr isn't too great, have you seen a sick note of late and what it actually says?

I think not.

have you seen a sick note of late and what it actually says?

EDIT - and of course you are kinda backing up one of my original posts where I said a doctor won't just sign you off because you can't do your job - unless the patient is very clever, the doctors can normally work out who has stress/depression/anxiety and those who are just swinging the lead.

Another for M'ingTFU here I'm afraid.

Well yes MF I'm not denying there's those that will try it on but that doesn't mean we tell those that need help to MTFU no matter how cool it makes you think.

They're more descriptive then they once were as it explains if employer can do an alternative duty rather than just be off.

They are called "Fit Notes" now - keep up !

Or Statement of Fitness to Return To Work. It is supposed to herald a whole new attitude of wellness.

Well yes MF I'm not denying there's those that will try it on but that doesn't mean we tell those that need help to MTFU no matter how cool it makes you think.

They're more descriptive then they once were as it explains if employer can do an alternative duty rather than just be off

As a Line Manager MF I deal with employee side too so know where your coming from, I'm also at the worst position as as I'm a first line manager. Neither one of the 'lads' or a manager it can be pain trying to do the best of both. It's the work load, management side of disciplinarys, being a good guy and a bad guy, pressure at home as I look after the kids on my days off and then there was the carry one with my Father last year which is slowly settling although he's still not and never will be well. It all got too much for me I MTFU as long as so I could to assist other members off staff with problems and to get through the winter as the weather put huge amounts of pressure on the service.

I didn't want to go off but felt I had no choice if I was going to get my self sorted and that's where I am at getting self sorted, work will wait for me to get back and they will offer me support where I need it.

🙄

Do you think there are more cases of people going off with stress in jobs where there is a nice structure to give you xx weeks of paid time off?

I work for a small company that couldnt support me having 6 months off with stress so it would take alot for me to get to a point where I would let them down.

Perhaps in bigger organisations or public sectors there is more oppurtunity for people to play the system which kind of tars genuine people with the same brush.

Hard to say Maxray but possibly yes but that goes for any illness.

I work for a small company that couldnt support me having 6 months off with stress so it would take alot for me to get to a point where I would let them down.

Perhaps in bigger organisations or public sectors there is more oppurtunity for people to play the system which kind of tars genuine people with the same brush

If I get stressed I take a holiday. If the job is too much for me I'll find a different job.

I don't understand the concept of going off sick/signed off for long periods.

Thats not me being insensitive.

There's a bit more to than than though Hora, yeah holidays might work at times but not always.

Probably a first but I sort of know where you are coming from there Hora.