[Closed] Going off work with stress

That's a hard questions to answer! luckily I'm a genius so I should be able to 😉

are you a civil servant?

it seemed to be positively encouraged when I was there.

Just joking, I was in a lot of pain for a long time, infact I'm still in a lot of pain and my life is ****ing tough.

I need to work to pay for the treatments on my back and I need to rest and take it easy to recover mentally and physically from my injuries and the trauma of being in pain for so long, over 6 years 😯

So I come up with inventive ways to make myself feel better, I can't change what I have to go through but I can change how it affects me. There are a few things I do that help.

One is dancing, sometimes very energetic, sometimes just silly, sometimes corny, basically I just do what ever I want, as long as the music is good I find it relaxes me.

Another thing is to take time away from everything to sit or lie comfortably and relax, give yourself time to think things through and come to understand why they affect you the way they do, don't distract yourself with TV or computers or anything really, just quiet time for yourself.

Laughter is also very important, try to find the funny side in things and have a laugh when ever you can, stupid films or comedy DVD's.

There are a lot of things I do for stress but the bottom line is, all that is relative is what works for you.

If you harbour any ambitions with your current employer then no it's a bad idea

However if you've got to the point where it's making you ill do you really want to work there anyway.

Go see a doc, speak to your partner or mates, listen to what your mind/body is telling you and take the appropriate action.

Do it tomorrow

I don't know your situation, but i got made redundant early last year, got a new job fairly soon after. Put briefly, late summer the permanent job was still on a temp contract, spoke to boss again and again said it would get sorted, made decision to go. Started to look for work, had a few interviews( holiday booked to cover), i was also genuinely ill with a nasty cold and took a few days off. Bosses attitude was abusive unhelpful, even to the point of obstructive, i was getting down. Came to a head just before christmas and i walked out.

I am now owed a weeks pay which they are refusing to pay which is a pisser, and am rather at a loss as to what to do about that.

Anyway I feel a lot better now, i had no work for two months which basically finished off my redundancy cheque but am in a temp job now which is just about keeping my head above water. But mentally much happier, nicer boss, less stress etc.

If you are getting down, i would say at some point you are going to have to jump, the question is whether you have a job to go to first. In the current market place there are alot of candidates and not alot of good jobs. But mental health is worth a lot more than money.

Honesty is always the best policy generally, but perhaps 2-3 days with a bad stomach, have a think about things, relax a bit, talk to friends for some advice. Do you have any kind of employee counselling service ? Try not to accelerate things if you don't have to. You boss may not even have noticed.

Get yourself signed off and have a break. No point in killing yourself in a job.

What doctor will sign someone off with stress just because they can't do their job?

And of course they may put you on SSP which won't help you...

Go to work. Anything less is theft. You can always quit if you don't want to work.

Fire me an email it's in my profile not talking on here.

What doctor will sign someone off with stress just because they can't do their job?

Thats rather ignorant, of course your GP will sign you off with stress especially if it makes you feel unwell, happened to a friend of mine, I arranged to meet him for coffee and a few beers and to go out on rides to help his recovery, he wanted to go back to work but his GP wouldnt let him until he was satisfied.

You need to speak to your HR representative urgently. Under normal circumstances most people would talk to their boss, but understandably this isn't an option for you - don't forget though that your boss is still human and would probably be mortified if they knew you were feeling like this.

You have nothing to lose by speaking to someone else - they can't get rid of you for making mistakes. Just make sure your nose is squeaky clean when it comes to things like internet/email usage etc - don't give them an opportunity for using it as an opportunity for sacking you for "gross misconduct" (i.e. an excuse).

Stress is a recognised industrial illness mf all employers have a rsponsibilty to monitor for it, don't be so flippant. It's comments like oh you can't do your job boohoo and such pathetic remarks that just make it worse.

Shakes head at M_F. There is a place to troll and this thread isn't it.

Sorry but I don't see it that way - he has issues with a new boss and a new working practice. It isn't stress (unless I am mis-reading the OP) he is just wanting to use it as an excuse not to go in.

I appreciate stress can be brought on by your work and yes an employer has a responsibility to ensure they do what they can to help. But the OP isn't talking to anyone at his work, just wanting to walk away.

And apologies to the OP if I HAVE mis-understood what they are asking.

Sorry but I don't see it that way - he has issues with a new boss and a new working practice. It isn't stress (unless I am mis-reading the OP) he is just wanting to use it as an excuse not to go in.

I appreciate stress can be brought on by your work and yes an employer has a responsibility to ensure they do what they can to help. But the OP isn't talking to anyone at his work, just wanting to walk away.

Which is causing him stress same as my friend his boss was coming down hard on him even though his team was preforming as they should, friendly chats with his boss and meetings did no good and added to his stress levels. What the heck do you think stress is you idiot.

Cobstructive use of insults - I'm impressed with your eloquence 🙁

To be fair to M_F, the original post does sound more like a whinge than stress and I took it the same way. However, I didn't want to make the remark that M_F did in case I'd misunderstood/the OP hadn't really explained it very well.

Looks clear cut stress to me.

The STW forum can always rely on druidh to speak 100% sense...

Fair enough drac - didn't come across like that for me.

Thanks all. First step is going to take a few days hol. Have just come to an end of a major job am working on. So shall take advantage of some time to think things through and decide a course of action and do enjoyable stuff like riding. And then see if I can face work or not and whether I should go to the docs.

I know I can't carry on like this. As just dealing with the usual ups and downs of the job is getting to me.

Whilst I see the point about my boss not realising but I am a believer that even if inexperience you still have a natural way with people. And they haven't. First managerial role and they are more concerned with further career progression. So any failings on my behalf and a whiff of me not achieving my objectives will somehow affect them.

Anyway thanks again as it's just nice to hear some support and the going to the docs is not such a bad thing.

Being in a not dissimilar situation right now, I'm tempted to say that if it's a considered option, maybe taking time off with stress isn't the best idea. It can be difficult to get your current employer to see past it or explain it away to a new boss.

The wife is currently telling me it's something I should consider as it's easier to explain away than planting one on your boss.

It's a tough call to make simply because once you cross that bridge, it's really difficult to come back over it.

Difficult one......but it sounds almost intollerable so could be best to save what sanity you have left.

I did something similar years back and it was the best thing i did BUT it makes it almost impossible to go back and difficult to explain to perspective employers why you left, etc

Whatever you decide, i hope it goes well and all the best for the future.

There really are some sanctimonious characters on here, Op has a new boss who has changed his working practice and causing him grief and added pressure to his working life so he's made mistakes that has led to stress, he needs time to sort himself out, that's not unreasonable, unlike you supermen 🙄

It is a difficult one. Work should not make you ill either physically or mentally. However time off sick with stress never looks good on a CV.

I have been stressed out in jobns and quit - and boy did I feel better immediatly.

If you can avoid going off sick then I would thenk that for the bnest - but you must do something to get the stress under control.

How long are you in post for? - more than a years service gives you some protection. Do you have an HR dept? Can you take a weeks holiday immediatly?

Stress is something no-one can comment on unless it has affected them IMHO.
I seriously hope anyone who is negative towards it never has the misfortune of it happening to them.
Its frigging horrible, how do I know? Its currently got me! Mine isnt work related though, I have had a sheer amount of personal tragedy hit me in a matter of a week. Its knocked me for 6. I have gone
from captain happy go lucky to an anxious mess. Hopefully time and family support will get me through it.
Dont be afraid to admit your broken, I left it too late and regret it now.

are you a civil servant?

it seemed to be positively encouraged when I was there.

hmmm, that explains my brother in laws tendency to go off with his version of stress......strangely it also coincides with his wife's holidays from work (she's a teacher) 🙄

Unfortunately I had a bad experience with stress/depression, most people were supportive however the a'hole of a boss I had didn't see it the same way and my contract was terminated.....all i'm saying is that everyones experience is different, just make sure you back yourself up to the point of being bulletproof. Also as you'll no-doubt be looking for another job, they'll want to know why you were off sick. Best to be 100% honest to cover your back

(i may be a little more suspicious than most, but bad experiences made me this way, don't want to scare you but it's best to have all the facts, we live in a poo society unfortunately)

The thing I find hardest in that situation is searching for another job. It's possibly the hardest thing to do when you're feeling so down trodden. It does leave you feeling horribly trapped. Made worse by the fact that my boss who's the problem, is sleeping with his boss, who's also a problem. Oh yeah, the guy above those two is spineless as well just to make matters worse!

I have no hesitation in taking time off with stress, but it is not something I take lightly.

I had my first full on "nervous breakdown" 5 years ago, the result of chronic stress. I was off work for 9 weeks. I have never properly recovered and the episode triggered bi-polar disorder. Not typical for a 40 year old, although perhaps there were signs in my teens and mid to late 20's.

Since then I have had two further major episodes where I have been too ill to work and taken time out typically 4-6 weeks, but really every day is a major struggle.

Bottom line is look after your mental health. The mind doesn't seem to heal as well as other organs/limbs etc.

A few things I would comment on from my own experience:
1. Go speak to HR and make them aware how you feel, be constructive and positive and ask for their help (rather than make it a whinge about your boss - they're more likely to support you)
2. Consider chatting to the doc, if only to see what he/she says - they may or may not sign you off but you can bet your bottom dollar they've seen more of this than you have and will be able to offer sensible advice. Mine said quite bluntly 'it's only a job' which was really quite helpful...
3. You're not required to put time off for stress on your CV - it's your document. Mine simply shows that I started with that company in November 2004 and left Feb 2007. The fact that the last 2 weeks of October 2006 were spent signed off sick doesn't appear... and why should it really if it was in response to a sh*tty situation in one particular job?

Hope it all works out. Stress is often misunderstood IME

From reading your first comment mastiles_fanylion you seem to be living in a different world from me, have you ever had a boss ? Or are you self employed / always been the boss ?

I was actually just wondering how many STW forumites were/ever had been a team leader/manager/boss?

Ever been in the situation when you've had to introduce change and there's always the "we don't do it that way" faction?

Or taken over a department and been met with "that's not the way XXXX used to do it?

Or the previous manager was "one of the lads" (usually having been promoted from with the department).

I'm not saying the OP is guilty of any of this (in fact I considered starting another thread) but there does seem to be a lack of ability to see both sides of a situation and the default STW reaction is to consider anyone who has risen above the level of the shop-floor to be some sort of evil dictator.

I was actually just wondering how many STW forumites were/ever had been a team leader/manager/boss?

Me and that's why I recognise the importance of recognising stress and that change is one if the causes.

It's a valid question. I can't remember the number but the percentage of people who manage other but have never been taught or trained to do so is frightening.

My wife got signed off work with stress this morning, The doctor has told her to take a week and then come back for another appointment. She has spent the last 4-5 months getting barely any sleep, struggling to find any way to switch off and arriving home from work in tears and shaking most days basically down to crap conditions and management (she's not the emotional type usually). Bottom line is, yes she could just try to battle through it for the sake of future work stuff but the reality is, the best gift she can give both me and any future employer is a whole, healthy person.

To the OP, if you're stressed, take the time out. Chances are you aren't doing your job to the best of your abilities anyway. And for what its worth, My wifes company are properly panicking. Not that we're going to but companies have been sued successfully in relation to stress related illness.

boohoo

druidh - Member
I was actually just wondering how many STW forumites were/ever had been a team leader/manager/boss?

Me - I have had several bosses jobs up to quite senior roles managing many staff.

I had to introduce change but managed it reasonably well. I hated being a manager tho so quit.

me hated it climbed back down the ladder. It is not easy and was a real eye opener being on the other side. i was not that good [bit lazy tbh] at it but I was good at recruting people who could do what was required and leave me alone whilst doing it.
Winning bids and generating new work was very stressful and let to constant change whihc is hard to manage as the staff wanted stability and the company could not offer it.

Good call, druid. People get stressed by the strangest things, especially if it spoils their 'h'aspirations. 😀

Stress is a dangerous situation that can tear you and your life apart,take it seriously.

Had a situ once where i managed a butchery dept cash n carry ,excellent t/o profit ,good relationship old style manager had salary so no over time option for pay, in summer we had to open 6 weeks of summer hols on sunday mornings for 4 hours.
Old manager was happy to give time in lieu on mon /tues afternoon as long as all was tidy n up together orders etc, n cutter to cover n be on call my self for advice /phone back up.
New manager/jumped up P k came in no people skills ,total ar.. e lickr and said your contract states you will work hours as required ,i want you in all six sundays and you will not get any time in lieu your on salary do it .
I said no not doing ,so went up to mngrs office shut door ,followed by colleages who filled buyers office next door ,listening intently.
Sat opposite and him n calmly stated my case n good record and said ok of course if there are any probs issues i would sort out ,had always been happy to help out stock takes etc ,no overtime etc etc. He sat back and said no you will do as i say i'm the manager now.
So i replied right ok then "YOU CAN TAKE THAT CONTRACT AND STICK IT WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE " AND JUST WALKED OUT ,closeing the door behind me ,to a cheer from the buyers office of" good on you Butch".
got my coat and collected my kit n went to the town n home.this was 11.30 on the monday morning and orders to depot etc had to be in by 12.deadline etc.
Following day tues went iN to be met by area mangr//area butcher mngr,
right we are doing a stock check ,you are suspended pending investigation,so i went home called union up arranged meeting,was called back for meeting 2 days later n told you have big losses on your department we are sackin you for gross misconduct.
I took to tribuneral n won my case for wrongfull dismissal,defamation of character as they accussed me of theft of 15k worth of meat.
The last laugh i had on them almost immeadiatly as the day following my suspension ,i had knock on my door n job offer from local turkey farmer to run a catering wholesale outfit for him and took most of their customers as i had all the local knowledge n customer trust/respect from the local hotel/pub trade.And the guy they hadput in to do my job knew no one and takings dropped for c&c from 12k per wk to barely 2k for that department .

All because the ar--li--k school of management doesn't teach PEOPLE SKILLS. 🙂

Stress is real.

Unfortunately in my own case I could not go off on the sick as selfemployed. Getting throught it now but I realise now that a month off a year ago would have saved me from the many hellish months over the last while.

My dad was a head of dept teacher and retired slightly early due to stress after collapsing at work. He is fine now also having to deal with cancer treatment (successful)

I am pretty convinced that he would not still be here if he had continued in his job.

There is a time when you need to take a break and recover.