[Closed] Girlfriend Advice

"why did you take her to a nicer restaurant than you took me etc"

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We all know what I mean, they don't see you as a real-male, a sort of female friend who they know they can't see any sort of maleness in you. A sort on Eunuch male.

eh? No totally disagree!

they don't see you as a real-male, a sort of female friend who they know they can't see any sort of maleness in you. A sort on Eunuch male.

Jealousy doesn't become you, Hora.

(-:

No totally disagree!

So a part of you fancies your male friends? 😉

and the rest want to shag her 🙂

I just read all 5 pages of this, some responses are brilliant. 😆

I dont have to fancy someone to view them as masculine?!

I dint think they do weeksy!

I know I'm not alone but there are a few tiers to male/female innocent friendships in adults:

1. Man and woman have had a thing together and it just didn't work out- managed to get over it and are now friends.

2. Man and woman are friends - one is gay

3. Man and woman are friends - Man would if only she would/ask

4. Man and woman are friends - Its just a matter of time. Just get it done.

I'm firmly a '3'. 8)

*stares longingly at Hora*

if only he'd ask......

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Christ, yesterday it was Miketually and Junkyard, today it's Binners and Hora. This is going to take a catering pack of mindbleach and some industrial grade wire wool.

AH excellent it has finally been Horaed

Sage words as always on relationship issues

Most adult men have adult friendships with women without wanting to bump bits

That means half of STW wont 😉

Binners - hora's waiting for you up on the mountain 🙂

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So far the run for your life advice seems the most sensible

As a wise man once said, there are many fine women in this world, but not all of them bring you lasagne to work.

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General fact of life:

Single, fit, mentally stable - pick any 2 from 3

That's blokes too BTW 🙂

OP - only you can decide if she's worth it or not; personally I think it sounds like hard work and life's too short to have to deal with that sh*t.

Late to the party, but all I can think is - if she is this nuts at 39, what the hell will she be like at 49??

Get rid. Distance relationships are crap anyway.

However you list "friendships" Hora, it all boils down to one person in the scenario wants to ride the other. If only they would let me / were not gay / enough alcohol / opportunity.

Billy Crystal nailed that one to the mast in that seminal 80s chick flick. When Harry Smashed Sally.

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I love threads like this, such an insight in boys heads 😆

I love threads like this, such an insight in boys heads

BTW the Lynx effect - every morning my son's bedroom door opens and a fug wafts down the stairs to choke the rest of the family. It's like a Victorian London PeaSouper.

Binners and Hora sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g 😆

Some great comments on this thread.

There is precious little in boys heads Emsz dont waste your time trying to figure it out.

Distance relationships are crap anyway.

Distance relationships are great. The travel can be a bit of a drag but usually get to live the single life during the week, then have a relationship at the weekends. Is that not almost the best of both worlds?

From the two word title i just knew how this thread would run 🙂

such an insight in boys heads

This (combined with the irresistible smell of Lynx or Adidas spray) is all there is to know:

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I love threads like this, such an insight in boys heads

For me too, and i'm a fella.

I know how to solve the OP's problem, I'll post the solution here once I've thrown out all my Lynx stuff

Six pages eh?
Most of which makes me glad I'm happily married, and also dread the idea of being single again....

From my limited, and now quite distant experience women let you know when they are ready to cohabit; the sign is simple, they will liberally scatter copies of [i]Closer[/i] and [i]Heat[/i] all over your home... Don't go moving any of your shit into her place first, especially after a couple of months, she is (was?) still getting a feel for what sort of bloke you really are... (I reckon you're probably failing some of the tests BTW)...

17 months separated? She's not a bunny boiler or crazy. Just like anyone not long out of a failed long-term relationship she's probably still quite keen on having her own space and simply doesn't want it [i]"invading"[/i] again by some lynx drenched lothario...

I reckon you're both on "different pages" from the sounds of it, doubt it will last even if you get past this relatively minor blip...

Aren't you both supposed to merge, things just happen without prompting (or much prompting) if you are both meant to be? If its stilted/faux-pas, etc etc then someone isn't ready and/or you aint right.

Oh and nail the pleutonic-friend. Be it on the table over dinner or snapchat. Accidently send her a pic of your schlong. The rest will be history (or you will be).

binners- bagsy I'm the plug, your the socket.

The more I read Hora's comments the more this image cements itself in my head.

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You ol-bugger. Abit before my time that.

I have female friends, because I'm not desperate and don't feel the need to bang everything that moves.

Distance relationships are great. The travel can be a bit of a drag but usually get to live the single life during the week, then have a relationship at the weekends. Is that not almost the best of both worlds?

Sounds hideous to me, I think you've got it the wrong way round! 😀

G

don't feel the need to bang everything that moves.

No one grows up, the only thing that changes is how stress and pressure of life affects us cumulatively over the years.

I'm more of a stone than a sponge dear boy

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😆

I'll also add, in general we should hump everything that moves- after all, you only stop moving when your Dead.

No one grows up, the only thing that changes is how stress and pressure of life affects us cumulatively over the years.

Nahhh, it's just all a bit blasé. 😈

In fact, before I had a missus, the more disinterested I seemed the better I did.

OP you are past the first stage and into the possible 'could go longterm' phase. I'd knock the dinner with female friends on the head for a month or so- she how your relationship goes. The fact that you stay over at each others is the 'feeling round the nest' stage. Shes semi-comfortable but maybe her divorce/experience has left her wary of men?

Chill, focus on her. Listen to her. There are some great women out there who have been left by loser-men whose self-esteem etc has taken a knock.

To be fair though Hora, theres loads of absolute mentals as well.

There are some great women out there who have been left by loser-men whose self-esteem etc has taken a knock.

Ahhhh yes, go for the ones that hate themselves enough to date you.

Get a travel wash bag and forget about it. Talk about over analysis.. You left your gear there and she doesn't want it there - what? Making big deals out of nothing will get you binned quicker than a quicky binny thing. Don't sleep with crazy works both ways you know.

I think the relationship is on the way out.

Just to test things a little, you should box up a big bag of clothes, your playstation and a box of p&rn and head round saying you understand she was testing you, and having only left a small amount of belongings there before obviously didn't show the right commitment and you are ready to stay for good.

That should do it.

Called her to bin her, no response. texted her too, no response.

My last ex had a bit of a mental limp around her ex, thought it would subside but the drunken meltdowns continued, she also two timed me one night when she was pissed.

I am weary too.

Clearly a lot of people jumping on the Lynx bandwagon here. It is the shower gel, not the weedkiller deodorant you are all talking about.

I will keep you updated.

Sorry to hear that but I think you've done the right thing.

My last ex had a bit of a mental limp around her ex, thought it would subside but the drunken meltdowns continued, she also two timed me one night when she was pissed.

It sounds like you have anti-hers per se rant issues.

Most adult men have adult friendships with women without wanting to bump bits

If I took one of my female friends to dinner, alone, without my wife, without telling her, to a nicer restaurant than I go to with my wife, I would have a very upset and angry wife and a lot of explaining to do.

Distance relationships are great. The travel can be a bit of a drag but usually get to live the single life during the week, then have a relationship at the weekends. Is that not almost the best of both worlds?

No no no. Weekends are for [i]enjoying[/i] yourself... like er, mountain biking , for example!

If I took one of my female friends to dinner, alone, without my wife, without telling her, to a nicer restaurant than I go to with my wife, I would have a very upset and angry wife and a lot of explaining to do.

I don't understand why the OP can't see it from this angle. Samehere, mrshora would be asking why she isn't higher up the scale. Its not rocketscience (secondtime I've repeated this phrase).

Ah well.

If I took one of my female friends to dinner, alone, without my wife, [s]without telling her[/s], to a nicer restaurant than I go to with my wife, I would have a very upset and angry wife and a lot of explaining to do.

If you [i]took [/i]her, yes. What if you merely went with her?

I'm not seeing an issue in going out for dinner with a friend. Sneaking around your partner's back and buying expensive meals for someone, on the other hand, is dodge city.

Trust is important in a relationship. So is seeing your friends. Getting all worked up because a partner is spending an hour with someone who happens to have different naughty bits to them smacks of insecurity or emotional immaturity to me. You do trust your partners, don't you?

I don't understand why the OP can't see it from this angle. Samehere, mrshora would be asking why she isn't higher up the scale. Its not rocketscience (secondtime I've repeated this phrase).

Ah well.

My missus is the type to put loads of salt, pepper, HP sauce on eveything before tasting it. Taking her out for an expensive meal is purely an exercise in wooing her, she simply doesnt apreciate the food otherwise it's her choice and usaly the family full hell hole that is Toby Carvery. Going out for dinner with anyone else* we'd go somehwere where we actualy liked the food.

*I haven't in years, but hypotheticaly

Getting all worked up because a partner is spending an hour with someone who happens to have different naughty bits to them smacks of insecurity or emotional immaturity to me. You do trust your partners, don't you?

are you one of the eunuchs Hora warned us about?

Not a problem with it. Would you let your wife do this and do you 100% know the bloke?

There seems to be the well I'm a bloke do it/so dont see a problem- flip it round the other way.

Mrshora has a bloke-mate. Meet up at cafe's etc whenever hes back in town. I know him- known him years and where hes coming from. When you are both single its an easier friendship, if ones in the early days etc- sometimes you have to park certain aspects. Shouldn't but hey.

are you one of the eunuchs Hora warned us about?

No, I just [i]talk[/i] bollocks.

Not a problem with it. Would you let your wife do this and do you 100% know the bloke?

In a heartbeat. I don't need to know the bloke, I know her.

You never know a woman completely. You mean you [i][b]trust[/b][/i] and think you know her. Its the reason why people get blind-sided when they find out their partner was having an affair.

Taking a platonic female friend out for dinner is very much like.....

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You never know a woman completely. You mean you trust and think you know her. Its the reason why people get blind-sided when they find out their partner was having an affair.

My missus goes for lunch with guys all the time.

I similarly don't worry that every time she goes for a girls night out that it may be with Emz or Katy Perry.

Do you really not trust your missus and have to vet all her aquaintances?

Hora is Swiss Tony? 😀

You never know a woman completely. You mean you trust and think you know her. Its the reason why people get blind-sided when they find out their partner was having an affair.

What I think is that I know someone that I've lived with for ten years a little better than you know someone you've never met. Unless you're suggesting that everyone is inherently untrustworthy.

You are absolutely, categorically, wrong. Thanks for playing.

Would you let your wife do this and do you 100% know the bloke?

Hora is Swiss Tony?

and we all get to decide if our wife does something

What if she decides to do someone else? behind your back?

What I think is that I know someone that I've lived with for ten years a little better than you know someone you've never met. Unless you're suggesting that everyone is inherently untrustworthy.

humans aren't yes/no and/or. You'll never know someone totally. You can only think you do and the rest of that percentage is trust.

Mrshora has a bloke-mate. Meet up at cafe's etc whenever hes back in town. I know him- known him years and where hes coming from.

Someone really needs to invent a 'sucking in air through clenched teeth' emoticon.

I have all sorts of friends, straight, bi, gay male, female. There's maybe 2 I'd want to bump bits with, and weirdly they're both very very straight. I've spoken (drunk) to one of them, and were on if it turnsout her (adorable) husband has done the deed on her ( hell freezing over etc)

I can happily go to dinner without thinking rude things about the person sitting opposite

humans aren't yes/no and/or. You'll never know someone totally. You can only think you do and the rest of that percentage is trust.

I'm well aware of this. I also know that she's about as likely to have an affair as she is to spontaneously turn into a penguin.

Hora 🙂

http://metro.co.uk/2014/09/24/sorry-to-break-this-to-you-men-but-half-of-all-women-have-a-back-up-bloke-4880645/

MrsCougar later after a platonic date with Hora.

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Unsurprisingly, the most likely candidate is an ‘old friend’ – yes, it’s that guy who is ‘just like a brother’ to her.

Others might be ex-boyfriends or ex-husbands, colleagues or someone they have met at the gym.

Love that last line- might as well just say 'or a random bloke'

Nah- she thinks hes wet and abit crap with women. I think she sees him as her 'gay'friend (I always thought he was) 😯

Who knows- I'd better start smartening up before she turns into a Penguin

Weeksy

I just don't see why anyone would want to talk to a girl apart from being polite or wanting to nail her.

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I have all sorts of friends, straight, bi, gay male, female. There's maybe 2 [u]I'd want to bump bits with[/u], and weirdly they're both very very straight. I've spoken (drunk) to one of them, and were [u]on if it[/u] turnsout her (adorable) husband has done the deed on her ( hell freezing over etc)

I can happily go to dinner without thinking rude things about the person sitting opposite

Emsz so on one hand you say a friend, who is not even your sexuality- you'd be allover her etc...

but not even think about it if you were having dinner with her?

Is it the alcohol that turns them into Penguins?

Keep the ladies away from booze 😀 😆

You never know a woman completely. You mean you trust and think you know her. Its the reason why people get blind-sided when they find out their partner was having an affair.

True! Thankfully you always know a man completely. It's the reason women never get blindsided by their male partner having an affair.

Imagine those poor bi/lesbian women? They can never know or trust one another - both being women and all*. Deceit all the way down!

*that was not a setup for more knuckledragging btw

[s]Keep the ladies away from booze[/s]

Keep the ladies away from white wine in particular

Imagine those poor bi/lesbian women? They can never know or trust each other, both being women*

*that was not a setup for more knuckledragging btw

I was told recently by a lady- she never trusts bi-sexuals. They always run off with blokes again at somepoint

Rash generalisations FTW.

If they "always" run off with someone else, perhaps she should have a think about what they're running from?

I love the way women get all uppity about "equal rights" and "knuckle draggers"....

However when you take them out for dinner... you're getting your wallet out...

Or when you don't hold the door open for them, give them your coat when it's raining... or asking them to pick up heavy items from the shop.

Yeah, womens equality.... would be great if they REALLY wanted it... just not the bits that suit them.

from Woodys link up there^

Apparently nearly half of women in relationships have a back-up bloke – a man waiting in the wings in case things don’t work out with you.
A whopping 43 per cent of women have a Mr Plan B, according to a survey of 2,000.
Unsurprisingly, the most likely candidate is an ‘old friend’ – yes, it’s that guy who is ‘just like a brother’ to her.
Others might be ex-boyfriends or ex-husbands, colleagues or someone they have met at the gym.
Back-up bloke is typically someone she’s known for about seven years and there’s a one in three chance you’ve met him already.

yeah, I think Chris Rock has a routine along these lines, says its like having a D1ck in a glass jar, with a label *Break in case of emergency* 😆

btw, any womens reading this care to admit whether you have a back-up man and the reasons? fear of commitment?

I was told recently by a lady- she never trusts bi-sexuals. They always run off with blokes again at somepoint

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Hora, never trust what a woman tells you, remember?

Yeah, womens equality.... would be great if they REALLY wanted it...

when you don't hold the door open for them...