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Tricky one this - Jnr will be 8 this year, will only eat peas under duress, no other fruit or veg apart from raisins, struggles to eat much of anything on the whole.
We've tried not to force it, he is tall and bright for his age, so we have not worried about him thus far other than trying to encorage/cajole him into trying new stuff at every chance without making an issue of it.
However, he is starting to get a little more interested in sporty activities, but is clearly not eating enough to sustain his energy levels, so he tires very quickly and struggles to progress. He understands the whole "energy in - energy out" thing, but seems unable to break his lazy eating habits. The idea of trying new foods or making an effor to eat a bit more almost brings on a physical gag reaction, which I think is the start of a slippery slope if we are not careful.
Recent comments from relatives have confirmed my suspicions that he is, if anything getting worse, is starting to look scrawny and that there seems to be a control issue in there as well.
So is it worth going to the GP for some advice or am I being neurotic?
Have to say, Mrsswadey is not as concerned as I am, one of us is also a fussy/faddy eater, one of us isn't - go figure.
fwiw, his little sister eats fine and will try anything, even if she often decides she doesn't like it after trying it
Our girls love a 'secret vegetable' pasta sauce by Anabel Karmel (sure it'll be in the interweb somewhere).
Add pasta and meatballs (or whatever he'll eat) and that might be a start?
And what DOES he eat anyway?
Veg only diet for a week. Soon get into his greens.
Have a similar problem with my 12 year old daughter, I went to chat to the GP about it, and I have to agree with his analysis that its more my problem than hers. I want her to eat a fully balanced diet, he says she just need to eat.
Go and see your GP, have a chat, that's what they do, much better than a sadboy's forum advice.
MF - we've been trying to sneak veg into sauces for years, but at some point the games need to stop - he's a bit older than your twins! How are they, btw?)
He'll eat: readybrek (he knows we put pureed pear in it), buttered toast, ham sandwiches, bacon sandwiches - has recently started eating wholemeal bread.
Will eat chicken and other meat in small amounts but struggles to physically chew and swallow it, can manage some sausages, some meatballs, fish in breadcrumbs.
Any potato, but especially chips.
Peas if covered in ketchup, but won't try other vegetables.
Cheese and tomato pizza, but no other toppings, and will have small amounts of bolognaise type sauce if we hide the veggies really well!
Strawberry flavoured fromage frais, but not "proper" yoghurt, ice cream, chocolate cake and chocolate, crisps, but he is not greedy even with these treats.
He doesn't like many sugary sweets - hurray! except mints
He will only drink water, milk or hot chocolate.
It sounds quite a lot written out - maybe I am neurotic - but the small amounts given that it is now holding him back physically and the simmering control freakery really concern me - maybe I'm over sensitive as I had an ex who was bulimic.
Starve him in the cupboard under the stairs for a few days. Then give him a plate of chicken, gravy and peas and see if the physical difficulty with swallowing is still in evidence. 🙄
Sounds much like my daughter. I think as parents we overide the bodies natural 'im full mechanism' by force feeding children or makining them eat 3 square meals a day. I have resigned my self to the fact that my daughter is a natural grazer.
Im sure as your son continues with his sporty activities his appetite will grow on its own.
slowmedown - think we are maybe coming at this from the same perspective, but I believe he needs to just start to eat more as well as a better balanced diet, but the stubborn lad won't compromise with us, so do we give in, is there something we are doing wrong, or do we look for some help/advice?
I don't know if you need to worry about it too much - it probably goes against all advice but maybe just give him more of what he wants? I was extremely fussy as a kid. My mum says when I was four I just ate ham & cucumber sandwiches for months, then for a couple of years (!!) only pasta with cheese and peas and only drank water or milk. The not-giving anything-else method didn't work as I just didn't eat then. I was pretty skinny but otherwise healthy. It took me a few years, but by the time I was 20 I ate pretty much everything - when I'm home now my mum is still shocked when I get a tomato out the fridge.
i would just give him a chose between healthy food and no food, he will soon eat what he is given, it is important to set an example and not eat junk you're self, or even have it in the house. but this is just my two pence worth, ..:)
Some good points being made, but giving more of what he wants hasn't worked - if we give him more at mealtimes he struggles to eat it, if we offer more to him in between he generally doesn't want it and I really can't remember the last time he actually asked for something to eat - he had a busy day out with my brother in law yesterday and never once asked for anything to eat or drink, they stopped for some lunch when BIL realised it was nearly 6 hours since he'd had breakfast.
supercyril - you have pinpointed my wildest dream
bedmaker - you figured out Plan Z then.... 😈
just read one of the posts in more detail :), i would have a difficulty standing up, after my mum beat my for having a physical difficulty with eating one of her meals! (when i was a child im 27 and live with my girl friend now) lol how parenting has changed ...
jenbe - I agree with you, but he actually eats very little unhealthy food , certainly compared to most of his peers. He just doesn't eat much healthy stuff either.
lack of choice and hunger will persuade most people to eat what is put in front of them but it may be brutal to witness the tantrums till you reach this point and /or cruel.
I compelled/encuouraged /pleaded with my kids from a young age to eat everything /clear the plate etc. They dont like some veg - mushrooms courgette but basically the eat what they are given or they will be hungry. Seems to work. If i ask they ask for crisps and chocolate so I never ask except for pasta or curry that sort of level.
they are younger and vegan so they have never experienced nice food so it may make eating veg a bit easier 😉
Perhaps better to see a nutriosinist etc than the GP.
the other choice if just give them more of what they will eat.
They are unlikely to not be fissy eater whilst witnessing another fussy eater at the table - we all eat the sam ething and always have - except porridge I hate the stuff but can be forced to prove a point.
Good luck
maybe you should take him to a DR then, but you don't want to make a big thing of it as that could make it worse 🙂 perhaps trying some different types of food that you never normally eat, you can make you own chines takeaway at home!
I am totally with you swadey, my little one, in MY opinion eats neither enough, nor what she should. After a chat with the GP, I have some small help with getting her to eat more, but loads of help in coping with the difficulty.
Go and see your GP and have a chat, it's what they do, professionally, much better the advice from a sadboy's forum.
He sounds just like my brother, he would eat carrots but no other veg (potatoes excepted) and then pretty much only the other stuff you have mentioned.
I'd be wary about trying to force him into eating anything by restricting the things he liked. My brother didn't eat for a week once when we went on holiday in protest because he wanted to stay at home. I don't know how he had the willpower! I'm sure it was done because he knew it was the one thing that would really get to my mum, who has always been trying to fatten him up.
On the positive side, he has improved these past few years (he's 28 now!) and eats curries and stuff now. Like alpine girl's mum, I'm still shocked when I see him eating something that he wouldn't have gone near as a child.
Some suggestions that have helped in our house, find out what they will eat rather than try force what you can stomach on them.
Our 8 year old struggles with carrots peas or salad but is partial to sprouts (bleh), parsnips, butternut squash (also bleh) and occasional broccoli.
Also started a points system (1 for a pea, 10 for a sprout 20 for an apple etc. Suprising how motivating that can become when the older sister tucks in to cabbage (10pts) etc.
never gets any easier though.
I'd go and see your Health Visitor first to have him assessed, weight and height wise. Have you taken him shopping, let him choose food he fancies and involve him in preparation, have his friends around and he'll see what other kids eat. Do you give him vitamin gummy tablets? Does he have any health issues, frequent colds etc? I've had similar issues with my third, he's 9, didn't want to wean and I had to breastfeed for 16months. I only provide 1 meal for everyone so if he doesn't eat, it's tough.
Out of interest, what did you feed him in his formative years, i.e. 6 months onwards?
I think you really need to try very hard NOT to make an issue of it, as I think that is only going to make things worse. I was a really fussy eater as a child, from a toddler to about 9ish I would reaaly only eat primula cheese sandwiches, bacon, and chocolate pudding. My parents used to force me to eat, the whole you can't leave the table till you've finished thing, I would then have a tantrum, be carried up to my room and told to only come down if I was prepared to eat.
Yes I suppose it worked, in that I did eat, but I have awful memories of family mealtimes, and I struggle with over-eating now, I have no concept of stopping when I am full.
I just gradually started to eat more things, and now will try anything, but I am determined to try not to make food a battleground for Teddy like they were for me. OTOH I think my dad is just waiting for me to get my comeuppance 😉 we have just started weaning Ted, so watch this space...
ETA from watching HOTT and Supernanny and all that other shite daytime tv (the joys of mat leave 😉 ) getting them involved in choice and preparation seems to really help.
>maybe I am neurotic<
Possibly..
Just disguise the fruit & veg in other dishes and get on with it.
Done the whole choosing, preparing idea, even growing it with him - loves the whole process right up until the point it has to go in his mouth. Having friends round doesn't help.
We get no tantrums, but the gag thing is quite interesting to watch. He's only misjudged it the once....that was messy!
We've been relaxed and not forced the issue as his health has been Ok up to now, but now other people are expressing concern at his weight and attitude, might be worth talking it over with the doc.
A friend of mine refused to eat veg all his life but now he seems to be happily taking all his prescription from the doctor. Apparently he is deficient in something food related i.e. veg, according to doctor. When he was young his body could cope and looks rather healthy but now in his late 30s the health symptoms are slowly creeping due to his imbalance diet.
To OP you just need to find some veg that he eats [b]or you learn to cook veg properly i.e. like a chef.[/b]
other than trying to encorage/cajole him into trying new stuff at every chance without making an issue of it
How does that work? Surely encouragement and cajolery is the very definition of making an issue out of it?
I was a terribly bad eater, but not quite in the same way - I ate a lot, I was just very fussy. Mainly because everyone was making a massive deal of it and I hated it. I learned to eat veg on my own terms when I started cooking for myself.
If he puts it in his mouth but can't swallow it, then you need professional help imo.
Let me tell you from personal experience, disguising stuff WILL NOT WORK. Kids aren't stupid.
or you learn to cook veg properly i.e. like a chef
Lol!
lack of choice and hunger will persuade most people to eat what is put in front of them but it may be brutal to witness the tantrums till you reach this point and /or cruel.
Lol some more! You've got no idea.
Having my parents put a plate of food I couldn't eat in front of me was like some putting a plate of poo in front of you. You wouldn't never eat it no matter how hungry you got.
did you miss the caveat of most there ?
Thanks for the tantrum though 😉 😆
Lol some more! You've got no idea.Having my parents put a plate of food I couldn't eat in front of me was like some putting a plate of poo in front of you. You wouldn't never eat it no matter how hungry you got.
clearly all kids must have the same experience as you.
I had a big packet of unopened Tangfastics in the kitchen an hour ago....my 5 and 8 yr old just demoloshed the whole bag 😈 they did have pizza and chips and diet coke for dinner though!!!
they had bananas this morning and have been to football training and ridden their bikes !
I reckon we can be too food pushy as parents - as long as they aren't eating too much crap too often.
Neither of ours have ever been keen on veg, but they both love fruit. The 8 yr old now loves all seafoood too - kids are kids
Mashed potato used to make me physically gag as a kid. I could eat a certain amount, but not much - I'm still the same today.
Our 10yr old daughter is fussy, but when she was younger would eat pretty much anything. Sometimes it's a battle, but we don't really force anything - she gets enough fruit & veg, but we do have to work round her.
She has some (not a lot) processed food and also some sweets. However, she's tall, slim, excels at sport and does well academically, so it doesn't concern me too much
Don't lose any sleep, the only veg/salad my 12 year old will eat are broccali and cucumber - therefore every meal has one or the other.
Eventually he'll eat other stuff.
Swadey,
Perhaps it's too easy to say. My little girl (now eight) worked out that if she was reasonable then we could be too. Importantly, she realizes the power of compromize.
Working on that, we'd always give her a fair bit more veg than we knew she's ever eat, even when it was something she wouldn't touch.
After the usual cajoling and threats, we then allow her to proceed to "puddding" IF she eats 1 or 2 (etc) piece(s), and we finish off the rest. She knows if she allows a compromize, then we'll always hold our side of the bargain, no question, and she gets "pudding" without further tantrums.
Doing that regularly has got all sorts of veg in. The standard view is that it's the repetition which causes the body to accept new flavours. Quantity doesn't matter, but they don't understand that, so it remains a useful bargaining tool.
So "little and often" has sneaked up on here without her realizing, and she has come round to eating lots of unusual stuff in proper portions this way.
Been here with my daughter, She's totally paranoid about green veg. No amount of coaxing or cajoling helps, attempts at bullying will deff. make things worse. As far as our Gp is concerned as long as she's getting enough calories it isn't a problem. She's 14 now and probably hasn't eaten anything green for about 8yrs still healthy and the right wait so don't worry.