[Closed] further to the scrote story

binners you know as well as I do that if I do anything like that I'll be shafted. by all accounts the dad is a nice bloke, mother is a gobby cow.

ton, i thought you'd previously said to 'have a word' with the dad, so was TJ right about you?

school is in for shit as they've failed in duty of care, ignored threats, lied to us about the police being called today and are dragging feet over action.

idave, if the dad is a nice guy, could you not get to have a quiet word with him while the gobby bitch wasn`t there or is he too much of a wimp to sort her out?

I don't know if this was true or just someone spouting but I remember hearing a story about someone getting no joy with the school in something like this. That started a private suit against the head as an individual rather than against the school. As soon as he thought the school would distance themselves and hang him out to dry, he suddenly changed his tune. At this point, I'd say anything has to be worth a shot.

idave.....did you not see this...... 8)
it should have been this............. 😉

Seriously, seriously put in for extenuating circumstances for the exams. If they're GCSEs it's not ultra important but this can obviously affect exam performance, and if it's A-levels then it's very worthwhile.

Sorry to hear this Dave, your daughter sounds strong but should not have to put up with this. The school turning a blind eye is a disgrace, I'd be seeing the head and letting them know that the local rag was getting a call later that day unless actions were taken immediately. Same for plod.

Every school is required to have a policy regarding bullying, this is inspected by ofsted, it has to be comprehensive and detailed.
Right now letters should be sent to the head, governers and police.
I suggest an open letter to the PTA . Include your MP.

Frankly the failure in duty of care , lying about calling the police etc
should be a case for the head being at risk of suspension.

As has been stated before the schools reputation for not suspending or excluding is a clear indication of brushing under the carpet.

I was severely bullied at school for 5 years including regular beatings both inside and outside of school. The school refused to acknowledge it was going on so I took matters into my own hands by getting my own back on the sports field.

Hockey was one of my games of choice. Things like a stick to the ankles, shins or kneecaps or a really hard bodycheck or a trip. I started with small moves at first and after a few games I was beating people to a pulp on the field. I soon earned a reputation on the field as a dirty player but as long as I was kicking shite out of people I really didnt care.

Thankfully I dont play sports anymore but I can highly recommend it as a way to seriously batter the shit out of someone and get away with it. "its just in the spirit of the game sir" was a popular line of mine 😀

Tell your girl to grab a hockey stick and get stuck in!

However, on the reverse of that I do feel for her having been through the same. The attitude of the school is appalling and serious questions need to be asked about why they are not taking this more seriously. I hope you can get this sorted out quickly, cleanly and easily.

Write to the school detailing your concerns, copies of letter to Head of Govenors, local authority, Police and OFSTED. Send them by
RECORDED DELIVERY. That way no-one can say they were not aware of the situation.

Good luck to you and your daughter.

Report it to the Local press or even BBC local.

Disgusting how she is taking out her issues on your daughter.

idave. The incident with me never actually came to violence. It didn't have to. It genuinely was 'a word'. It was a harsh one, granted. I made it clear in very specific terms, with no room for ambiguity, exactly what fate would befall said scrote should the activity not cease pretty ****ing sharpish.

No matter how thick they are, if they can tell you mean it they'll back off. And if it doesn't? Well.... they've been given ample warning

Walk into the local education office and demand to speak to somebody of importance,take notes or recoord the conversation,if then they fail ask them when they are going to resign.

Idave Hope your daughter is ok.

The police are a disgrace. End of. Always the biggest increase on the council tax and the least visible. Oh, apart from the chocolate soldiers.

As the other posters have said, keep calm. Record everything in a diary and above all ESCALATE! As soon as you feel that the conversation with whoever has gone as far as it can, ask for the next person in the chain of command. Involve OFSTED, write to the Chair of Governors. Use the Press.

I have school aged children and I feel your pain. But you must not use violence, either physical, verbal or implied unless as a last resort. Otherwise the scum will be straight to the police with "where there's a blame, there's a claim" solici**** in tow and then you'll see police action. You'll be an easy target.

Time is your friend. Be there for your daughter and things will work out.

Good Luck.

she's about to do GCSE's is expected to get A-A* and it is important given what she wants to go on to. school have said that they will make representation to the exam board.

just informed the head that I will be going down the LEA, Ofsted route. press will be informed. everyone will know. not letting this drop.

Good Man!

Local MP probably won't appreciate the hassle either...

iDave, hope you get this sorted, without having to resort to some of the advice being given here.

I can only dream of being as tough as some of the contributors.

IDave, i have just picked up on this thread and i thought i may have some info that might help. I work with young people who are probably what a lot on here would class as a scrote and yes there are obviously issues for her. The Police's actions with young people like her are limited as they need to go through two options before looking to charge them with a criminal offence unless extremely serious. This ticking off she has received maybe a Police Reprimand, this will be on her record for a period of time, or she may have been given a Final Warning programme. This is the last step before Court and maybe something you can ask the Police but they may not give you this info.

Again your daughter is suffering and it is not right, but if you behave in the way some have suggested you will only be seen as the same in the Courts eyes, more so because you're an adult. It sounds like you have been fighting cleverly and i would encourage you to keep on with that as i think you will gain more from it.

And i know this is extremely hard, but from my experiences working with young people who offend, this young girl will probably have something not very nice going on to make her behave in this way. Sometimes when you start to look at whats behind their actions you get a better understanding of why they may be behaving the way they do and then you can work from that. I know that may not appear to be the best advice but it does really help, she obviously doesn't have the love and support that your daughter has and maybe thats what she is jealous of and so drives her to attack your daughter and you..........

I hope that it gets sorted sooner rather than later keep the pressure on the school all the best

i also deal wityh young people in a similiar field to you I assume and it ias true that almost all of them have some sort of history of maltratment/abuse/neglect behind them. That said they also need to be aware of there actions on others, generally dont give a sh1t for society or victims, are fully aware of their own rights and oblivous to other peoples rights and their own personal responsibility. Like you I have them fail to tun uo , grunt at me go through the motions with their mates in tow mocking the justice system at work and refusing all efforts to help or to actually make an effort to hange by saying getting employment or an education....
I dont disagree with anything you said btw this is just for balance ;lets not get all rosey eyed about these people. yes they have a history but they are still responsible for their own actions and can be agents of change or agents of abuse and violence.

trussle, I have sympathy with kids who have a hard time. My daughter hasn't had life easy. She just chooses to do the right thing and work hard. scrote chose a different route, consequences, ripple effect etc....

what I find most sickening is the police apathy. they assume we're thick and believe what they say just because we're not in and out of court like the scrotes. then when they're pulled up on something they just move onto the next bit of slack advice so they can jog off home earlier.

pc left vital fact out of statement which would reduce the charge to common assault rather than assault causing actual bodily harm. we had to make him add it.

I will be making noise tomorrow

{Post deleted - user warned}

I do agree with you Junkyard, i try not to be soft but at the end of the day they're children given a crap start in life, but they still have to be responsible for their own actions and behaviour. Its sometimes through getting into trouble they actually get the help they need to sort themselves out.

Good to hear from another person who works with them though 🙂

IDave as i said earlier i think you are fighting cleverly and using your intelligence, you've done the right thing with the Police statement, keep up the pressure it may just be a long hard slog, thinking of you and your family

Nice to know that people were looking for my input.

I have nothing but sympathy for the OP and his family - I have been there as the victim.

My advice remains - don't stoop to there level and get the school to carry out its duty.

Be calm but firm. Ask to see the bullying policy and tell the head that you want it carried out. Do not take no for an answer

Hi iDave, just read this. You must be incredibly frustrated. But well done today. You should be proud of your daughter and your own self control.

Hope you get some satisfaction escalating tomorrow both with the police and the school etc.

On the school bully violence thing STW have [url= http://www.singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/should-my-son-hit-the-school-bully ]been here before[/url]

Edric 64

You sad, sad, sad specimen.

TJ I'd be letting the Head know its going above him, the Scrote should have a teacher with her at all times and not allowed within a mile of iDave's daughter. To do so is an EPIC FAIL.

And I'd also be talking to the PCs Inspector as well, just a bit of persistant questioning 😉

Based upon what iDave says it seems clear to me that there are reasonable grounds to risk-assess the aleged assailant, and therefore measures may need to be put in place to ameliorate potential incidents.

AFAIK this is pretty much enshrined in Health, Safety and Welfare at Work legislation. Whilst your daughter may only be classified as a 'visitor' to the workplace she still has the right to be protected.

In the school that I work in the aleged assailant would be in constant isolation at the very least by now, more likely fixed term excluded. Personally, as a pastoral manager I would have encouraged/ supported Police involvement too. Local Police to us are VERY supportive indeed- People- please don't take your frustrations out on the entirity of HM Police, There are thousands and thousands of good coppers out there. I feel for your daughter, life is horrid sometimes and seeminly for no apparent reason.

I'd be tempted to tell the police that if they don't sort it out I'd be doing it for them, this seems to give them a kick up the arse at times. The whole situation is disgusting. In the past when I was a sprog we solved such issues Tons way, and that seemed to work. These days you'd be on the wrong side of lots of people if you do that and won't get any support.

What area of the country you in iDave? just curious?

I would be far more annoyed with the school than the police to be honest, this should never get to the police stage & you can surely understand there genral lack of police 'action' basically because they know themselves, they will make lil difference...

Give the school a hard time, Ofsted etc etc, maybe no the press though...

hope it all works out

Firstly, my sympathies and well done to the OP for being so restrained - I don't think I would have been.

I would have thought there was a cast iron case for assault or even ABH as the attack was witnessed by a teacher and presumably others. WTF are the police playing at? Is a private prosecution a possibility?

Interesting to hear what Trusselbabes and Junkyard have to say. Although the "[i] from my experiences working with young people who offend, this young girl will probably have something not very nice going on to make her behave in this way.[/i]" while possibly true would absolutely boil my p!ss if were the OP and [b]that[/b] was trotted out in mitigation of the attackers actions. From my experience, any sympathy or compassion is seen as a sign of weakness to be taken advantage of and I don't envy either of you your job.

All this 'give the school a hard time' stuff is just rubbish! What would you like the school to do? They can't exclude, they can't expel, they can't even issue a ruddy detention now without the consequences from gobby parents along the lines of "My little Tyrone doesn't do detention...".

It's a damn shame when issues like this arise but teachers hate it too, we're just powerless. All kids are required by law to be educated somewhere, it takes at least 16 weeks to permanently exclude, that's 2 full terms minimum and that's pretty much for murder. Bullying policies aren't worth the paper they're written on and home school contracts are just so much bog roll. Contact papers etc but please explain that the school is caught in a quandary too.

Thanks for all the comments.

Monkee, I'd like the school to do something when a teacher sees food being thrown at her. I'd like them to call me when my daughter is beaten up, which they didn't do. I'd like them to call the police when she's assaulted. Just the little things....

Scote is excluded for 2 days - again....

The school can do a lot more.
Students do have to be in some form of education until they are 16, even if they will not be taking any exams. There should still be other centres or courses the school can put them on, preferably away from the trouble they are causing. This way help the other students continue their studies in peace. It should also help the troubled student to get help with their problem as well as possibly some other sort of training which might give them a slightly brighter future, hopefully trouble free. Saying the schools hands are tied is rubbish. They have a legal obligation to look after all the students in their care and there are other options, it's probably just they don't want to pay.

Hope things improve soon idave. Can I suggest you take the advice above and speak to your local police inspector, that should result in a big boot up the arse for your lazy policeman which it sounds like he needs. And make a nuisance of yourself with them and the school until they do their jobs properly. The threat of formal complaints can work wonders.

I hope I am never in this position. I can't even begin to imagine how awful it must be.

Have you taken legal advice? Your Daughter has clearly been assaulted and the school have only excluded the child for 2 days? Sorry, thats not going to solve anything. The girl sounds like a nutjob.

Slightly OT- at our school we had 3 girls who were all nutters, went out with guys alot older than them outside of school (we are talking 14yr olds dating 19yr old losers etc). They used the feint threat of violence to get their own way round the school. Took some absolute liberties.

I don't know how it happened but they really did zero in on me. One day in Maths class one was bothering me- threw ink allover my white shirt. I immediately turned round and punched her square in the face. She fell backwards off her chair. Maths teacher said he didnt witness anything (so you get an idea of these girls). So....these girls arrange for a couple of their fellas to meet me outside school. Guess how many kids turned up to meet this lads? 😆

get your daughter to sneak laxatives into the girls drink so she's too busy shitting herself 😀 (im being serious)

Got all this to come. With lads its different though isnt it? You just have to say confront it head on yourself with lads.

See how things go with the agencies involved. I work in education (and health, safety and welfare) and its worth pointing out to the headmaster that you are aware that the safeguarding element of the ofsted system is a LIMITING GRADE and as such they need to make a conclusive action sooner rather than later if they are serious about retaining their performance grade.

if you want extra info on this then pm me

On the other hand my wife was bullied horribly at school (being the only english kid in a scottish school) and it only stopped when she hospitalised the bully with a house brick.

I really do sympathise with the situation but there are no 'other centres' for students to got to and it's not just a case of schools being skint, (which they are!), the systems in place do not facilitate proper sanctions for students who will not behave in a civilised fashion.

The school should, of course, have contacted home after a serious incident but beyond that what do they do? There are no special schools anymore, there is a focus on schools to retain kids at almost all costs - example - Knowsley, one of the most deprived boroughs in Britain has an exclusion quota of 5 students per year for all schools. Where do we put these anti social students? We can't isolate them, we can't exclude them, what do we do?

Schools are in the situation of 'managing' anti social students behaviour instead of dignifying them with correction and socialising them. Good students suffer, teachers suffer, the anti social remain anti social and to top it all off schools fail if the are full of naughty kids hat hey're not allowed to do anything about!

The system is screwed and until we get a political agenda in education with a backbone horrible situations like this will continue to exist.

LOL at the tag.

there are no 'other centres' for students to got to and it's not just a case of schools being skint, (which they are!), the systems in place do not facilitate proper sanctions for students who will not behave in a civilised fashion.

Monkeeknutz I'm sorry but that's not true.
I and my colleagues (at the time) used to run projects which did exactly that. We looked after the "disaffected" students who were unlikely to sit any exams but were too young to leave school. They were causing all types of problems to themselves, other students and teachers but the school did not or could not expel them, except for the seriously troubled ones.
I looked after between 10 and 20 students. Technically they were in school but they were not there very often and I monitored them daily.

Once the child is in school, the school has a legal obligation to look after that child.

There is a national orgaanisation called http://www.connexions-direct.com their office is next door to mine and I just had a word with someone there.

They work with both disadvantaged kids but also provide advice for all children from 13-19 on various topics. I'm told that they often get involved in situations such as yours and there will be a nominated person looking after your daughters school. Might be worth giving them a call?

What that school really needs is a 40k PA for the Headmaster so he can concentrate all his energies on problem children.

I'm not sure if I would have shown as much restraint as the OP but to be honest at this stage I would be visiting the girls Father.
He played by the rules and kept calm and look what happended.

At this point I would be taking action into my own hands. I don't necassarily mean violence but something needs to be done.
If the Father is an account then I'd be finding out where he worked and showing up one day to cause a fuss in front of his employers. Let him know that your visits to his work will not stop until he controls his child.

....Today scrote assaulted my daughter again, pulled out clumps of her hair, punched her, pushed her into a hedge in a totally unprovoked attack which had been threatened for the last few weeks. A teacher was present and was assaulted and injured attempting to protect her...... Scrote also came at me when i was at the school

The girl sounds as though she is seriously disturbed and should not be in a place where she can harm others, teachers or pupils.

Surely the teachers can't be happy that this girl is still in school