So,
Been texting and snap chatting a girl for a few months now and we "seem"' to be getting along quite well. Sent her a couple of inexpensive gifts (flowers when she was feeling down etc) but have yet to meet for a date due to her working weekends and my not, and the small matter of 275 miles distance.
The potentially awful plan: She works in John Lewis assisting customers. I arrive unexpected, ask her shopping advise on something I know she wants and buy it for her then leave..... Means we get to meet, only for a short while in case she thinks I'm nuts and hopefully looks low key romantic.
Thoughts?! Ace romantic gesture or removed from store by security?!
*Pulls up chair. Opens bar.*
well, just ran that past the wife, she's not convinced! I'm guessing she won't know you're coming? High risk 275 mile journey!!
This all seems so strange to me.
Just can't get my head around the idea of more or less going out before you've even met.
I must be getting old.
DO IT YOU MAD FOOL! *
* If you'd like to look a bit stalkery.
my assessment,
she doesnt work in john lewis, doesnt look like her profile picture, doesnt live where shes told you and is probably called something else.
run for the ****in hills man, go find a real person to hang out with.
Sorry, forgot to say go for it.
With a bit of luck she'll be flattered and not think you're at all stalkerish?
Sounds kinda stalkerish to me, but i'm not a romantic so ignore my advice.
Martymac +1!!!! Think I'm old too...
Move on, honestly.
[quote=FFJA ]I arrive unexpected, ask her shopping advise on something I know she wants and buy it for her then leave..... Means we get to meet, only for a short while in case she thinks I'm nuts
You're quite safe there - she'll definitely think you're nuts!
If you're serious about it, just sort out your calendar and arrange a date - if you can drive to meet her during her working day, then you cana manage an evening. Something low key rather than full on if you're worried about that.
Ha yes it possibly does look a touch stalkery! Aparently folk in that there London aren't right romantic tho and the other stuff seems to have gone down very well! Hmm....
*Opens biscuits myself and puts kettle on*
A few months!!! 275 miles!!! Turn up at work!! At the very least you will escorted off the premises. Yer ontae plums.
I was about to offer an alternative view along the lines of "what have you got to lose?", ran it past my wife for her opinion which was "it's slightly stalkerish "
Perhaps if I wore a disguise?.....
Fake nose and glasses?
Yep, definitely an awful plan. Creepy etc.
Do something open and honest and that she knows about in advance... at least until you've met her once or twice!
Aye that's the sort of thing!
A 550 mile round trip to 'surprise' someone you've never met???
Definitely a bit freaky.
Has she bought you any inexpensive gifts?
No more gifts, no surprise visit. Surely the next step is meeting up half way in a pleasant place.
I thought it was a bit stalkery also. And speaking from experience, are you absolutely sure that you want to enter into a long-distance relationship? Are either of you likely to want to move 275 miles away?
Other women are available (if you're lucky).
beefheart - Member
A 550 mile round trip to 'surprise' someone you've never met???
At her place of work, too.
Episode highlight: Milligan says "OK then.".
If she works weekends why not go down to see her after work?
Or Take a days holiday and go for a proper date through the week,
I'm sure if she was interested there must be a way of you both meeting up.
Hmm the consensus seems to be its perhaps not my best thought out idea! I have asked previously if something like that would embarrass her, which would be awful, and she reckons not.
Perhaps one for another day. Faint heart never won fair maiden and all that jazz!!
Make the effort to come down when you're off and take her out for the evening.
Extremely creepy and cringey IMO.
Good on you for being such a thoughtful fella.
That doesn't mean you should do it though 🙂
What about if I tell her I'm in town for the day and pop in, forgetting the other idea? Still as bad?!
the consensus seems to be its perhaps not my best thought out idea!
The problem really is that it's a gamble. She might be swept off her feet, she might well think "WTAF?!" Certainly if I was on the receiving end I'd be thinking "woah, that's a bit sudden!" It puts her on the spot, implies that you've an expectation that she's obliged to reciprocate.
[quote=FFJA ]What about if I tell her I'm in town for the day and pop in, forgetting the other idea? Still as bad?!What about if you arrange to meet her and take the day off? Why does it have to be such a surprise for her?
Do you already have a van and duct tape?
she doesnt work in john lewis, doesnt look like her profile picture, doesnt live where shes told you and is probably called something else.
FRANK?
What about if I tell her I'm in town for the day and pop in, forgetting the other idea? Still as bad?!
That's a considerably better idea, gives her an 'out.'
Reckon it's better still to be honest though.
You need to write her a song and perform it in the shop.
What about if I write her a song and play it on a one man bad set up while marching up and down Oxford street?
You may be lucky.
Someone I know* proposed on the ground floor of Peter Jones. Successfully.
*ahem.
Cougar - Agree on the problem being that it makes implications and puts her on the spot. I'm certainly keen to avoid that. Will just have to be patient I guess 🙁
FFJA - Dull, harsh answer, learnt from bitter experience in the past.
Be open and honest and ask to meet up, you do the travelling, at a time convenient to her. I reckon excuses not to meet will keep coming, yet all the time you getting more deeply emotionally attached to this person.
my money is on the fact she's loving your attention, it makes her feel good, but she really doesn't understand what it's doing to you. She probably has no intention of meeting you
Good luck and prove me wrong!
Bad idea...BAD IDEA!
Mental; mental; mental. But also a fairly sweet idea. It won't go down well though - unless she's one of those ditsy, gormless types off Take me Out.
FunkyDunc - You're probably right mate 🙁
So far the plan sounds only slightly less stalkerish than this:
[IMG] 
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That sign they had on the BT Tower for Bowie.....
What about if you arrange to meet her and take the day off? Why does it have to be such a surprise for her?
Because he's an impetuous, romantic fool that wants to make some lass happy with big, spontaneous gestures. It's got risks but it's an admirable quality and ultimately, if she's the one for you, she'll get it - that said, your plan as described may need [i]some[/i] refinement 🙂
(Oh, and stop buying her stuff!)
I do try to understand the rise of these dating apps - I'm sure there are benefits but they just seem to add another layer of problems to the while dating thing.
My eldest is happily settled and thankfully hasn't had the need for them however my 22 year old son seems to use then quite a bit.
There is one girl that he's had this weird sort of 'relationship' with over a similar distance (he's up north and she's in London although has family near us). However on the couple of occasions they could have met she's not gone through with it.
They call, text, snap chat, face time - but not meet - I'm confused?! I mean what is that all about.
He still seems drawn to her but her behaviour just seems really odd.
He didn't see the funny side when I said there are plenty more Tinderella's out there . . . .
