MegaSack DRAW - This year's winner is user - rgwb
We will be in touch
Slow day at work. What's yours?
"Yay sleep! That's where I'm a viking!"
Press any key to continue. Where's the "any key" ?
Probably this one for me
"Beer: The cause of, and solution to, all life's problems"
Press any key to continue. Where's the "any key" ?
Definitely one of the very best.
may I also add (sorry, need the first two lines for context).
Homer: Lisa, would you like a donut?
Lisa: No thanks. Do you have any fruit?
Homer: This has purple in it. Purple is a fruit
I hate every monkey I see, from Chimpanz-A to Chimpan-Z
Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand
Must. Kill. Mo.
Wheeeeeee!
Must. Kill. Mo.
Wheeeeeee!
Homer sleep now.
[url= http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/o/o_j_simpson.html ]"I'm absolutely, l00 percent, not guilty."[/url]
If something's hard to do it's not worth doing
Super Nintendo Chalmers (Ralph)
Nobody snuggles with Max Power , Marge , you just strap yourself in and feel the g's
Marge: work called, they said if you aren't in work on Friday, don't bother coming in on Monday.
Homer: Woohoo! 4 day weekend!
I'm a rage-aholic and all out of rageohol.
There there Bart, you tried and failed. The lesson is 'never try'
If something is hard to do, it's not worth doing.
If at first you don't succeed, give up.
Spider-pig. Spider-pig. Does whatever it is a spider-pig does
"Lisa, beer me!" [always goes down well in our house]
and
"Sweet liquor eases the pain"
“(Lisa) “I’m going to become a vegetarian” (Homer) “Does that mean you’re not going to eat any pork?” “Yes” “Bacon?” “Yes Dad” Ham?” “Dad all those meats come from the same animal” “Right Lisa, some wonderful, magical animal!””
No you can't play with it you won't enjoy it on as many levels as I do.
Professor Frink to small child..
(Ralph Wiggum) Me fail English? That's unpossible!
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RM.
Lugash: "Lugash says you all did great, cats for everyone!"
(Hands out cats)
Girl: "I had a dog"
Lugash: "it cat now"
Arty Ziff: "What's it like to be married to Marge?"
Homer: "It's like being married to my best friend, and he lets me touch his boobs."
I used this in my wedding speach 🙂
No TV and no beer make Homer something something...
Homer: What is a wedding? Well, Webster's Dictionary defines it as - the process of removing weeds from one's garden.
The only quote I can ever remember.
Homer: "Ohhhhh, I've got three children and no money. Why can't I have no children and three money?"
Strikes a note with me 🙁
Homer, "It's funny because it's true". Applicable to sooo many inappropriate situations.
[b]tomhoward[/b] - MemberMarge: work called, they said if you aren't in work on Friday, don't bother coming in on Monday.
Homer: Woohoo! 4 day weekend!
🙂
I wanted to post this but could only remember the punch line !
Homer: How come things that happen to stupid people keep happening to me?
The Simpsons have had to put a banner up on their house which says 'Sorry for my intolerance' and Homer says to Marge "That banner sure has paid for itself"
Out on motorbikes with a mate last sunday morning when a deer ran across the road in front of mate. I laughed all the way to the cafe stop.
Homer (on hitting a deer): D'oh
Marge: a deer
Lisa: a female deer
Couldn't get the above simpsons scene out of my mind
beer- the cause and solution to all lifes problems
As a mere level 4 vegan...
Homer:
Sure, you can prove just about anything with facts!
I have used this many times at work.
The only quote I can ever remember.
And a marvellous one at that! I keep referring to our "weeding" in all the preparations, not sure ms njee20 gets the reference.
Two stand outs for me:
Mr. Burns: What are you doing in my corpse hatch?
Wiggum: Mr. Burns, you're under arrest!
Mr. Burns: Did I say "corpse hatch"? Uh... I meant "innocence tube"!
and
Homer: That baby-proofing crook wanted to sell us safety covers for the electrical outlets. But I'll just draw bunny faces on them to scare Maggie away.
Marge: She's not afraid of bunnies!
Homer: She will be!
"Put me back on my bike".
(I know he probably didn't say it)
Homer (pretending to be Mr Burns): Hello,I believe you have a package for me.
Postal worker: Ok Mr Burns, what's your first name?
Homer: ......... I don't know.
Boy, everyone is stupid except me.
I am so smart! S-M-R-T... I mean S-M-A-R-T
"A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man"
"Stupider like a fox"
[i]every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain.
[/i]
comes in very handy
Not a quote as such but:
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I'm amazed we've got this far with no mention of....
'Won't somebody think of the children?!'
Literally hundreds of quotes I could list, but cba...
Homer searching under sofa: "$20, ah, but i wanted a peanut"
Homers brain: "$20 can buy many peanuts"
Homer: "Oohh explain how"
Homers brain: "Money can be exchanged for good and services"
Homer: "Woohoo!!!"
Bart watching Itchy & Scratchy when it gets taken off the air; "But if we don't watch the violence then how can become desensitised to it?"
"Look at this country! U-R-Gay"
Edit: And not so much a quote on it's own, but Krusty the Clown's "What the hell was that?" after the Worker and Parasite show.
Carl,
"I think I've just logged onto my internet"
Homer (on hitting a deer): D'oh
Marge: a deer
Lisa: a female deer
Coincidentally heard earlier today in the office as a colleague was designing a poster with deers in it (on the cheap 😉 )
Toby, it's the bit just before that when he his searching for the peanut that makes me laugh.
Fishing under the sofa for it, 'hmm, hard. Hmm squishy. ARGH! MOVING!!!
'... and I owe it all to Yes I Cannabis'
Ralph, addressing Skinners boss - 'Super Nintendo Chalmers!'
When homer asks Burns what he wants for breakfast, Burns says 'a Dodo egg'
Marge, don't keep blaming yourself...
blame yourself once, then move on.
Mr Burns talking about one of his aging guard dogs,
"ahh, I'll never forget the day he bagged his first hippy, that young man didn't think it was too grooooooovy!" 😆
(Otto playing guitar loudly.)
Homer: Will you knock it off!? I can't hear myself think.
(Otto stops.)
Homer's Brain: I want some peanuts.
Homer: That's better
"Now I DRIVE the school bus"
Homer: Hey, I earned that money. While you lounge around here doing laundry and putting up drywall, I'm at work busting my hump.
Marge: Oh, please. From what I hear, you waltz in there at 10:30, take a nap on the toilet, then sit around Googling your own name until lunch.
Homer: (gasping) Who told you that?!
Marge: You shouted it while we were making love!!
"Everyone loves rats, but they don't wanna drink the rats' milk?"
Fishing under the sofa for it, 'hmm, hard. Hmm squishy. ARGH! MOVING!!!
Hah, I'd long since forgotten that, genius!
"Let the fools have their tartar(e) sauce"
I've never seen a brain freeze this bad. Give me 50cc's of hot fudge, stat! Hold still, you're going to feel a slight chocolately sensation.
Homer waiting impatiently behind someone @ traffic lights... " Green light Moron "
Mr Burns: "Why you're the fattest thing i've ever seen and I've been on Safari"
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Carmen Electra: My face is up here, Homer.
Homer: (looking at Carmen's breasts) I've made my choice.
"That's not a knife that's a spoon"
"I see you've played knifey spoony before"
Classic episode.
From the same episode...
Bullfrog? That's a stupid name! I'd have called them chazzwozzas!
Moll Flanders: We're not talking about 'love' here Edna, we are talking about S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N!
Krusty (suddenly paying attention) SEX CAULDRON?! I thought they'd closed that place down!
Some genius ones up there I haven't seen, love the bunny faces on the outlets one 😀
Poison....poison.....tasty fish!
And
Trampopoline!
If something's hard, then it's not worth doing.
Tramapaline +!
Homer: Hello… My name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
Clerk: Okay, Mr. Burns, uhh, what’s your first name?
Homer: I don’t know…
&
Space coyote: Find your soulmate, Homer. Find your soulmate.
Homer: Where? Where?
Space coyote: This is just your memory. I can’t give you any new information.
Milhouse: I thought you said you could read lips
Bart: I assumed I could
[i]Springfield enclosed in a big dome to contain the pollution...[/i]
We're trapped like rats!
No, rats are too intelligent to be trapped that easily; you're trapped like...... carrots
Heh clown college! How could I forget?!
"it's just a little airborne it's still good it's still good"
'Mmmmm forbidden donut... Sacrelicious'
From the episode where homer is trying to get fat enough to be classified as disabled, some advice from Dr Nick "You'll want to focus on the neglected food groups. Such as the whipped group, the congealed group and the chocotastic!" and "if you’re not sure about something, rub it against a piece of paper. If the paper turns clear, it’s your window to weight gain."