[Closed] Fat letter made me lose my confidence

Trouble is, for every sensible parent like DezB who can explain the findings or the context (BMI isn't that reliable at your age, there are better metrics, I'm not worried about you because I know you have a healthy lifestyle), there will be another who just tells their kid that it's official, they're a porker. And, more importantly, another who just chucks the letter on their way to the chippy for tea.

Kids that age can be body conscious and worried about their appearance, so a blunt instrument like this letter could be a bit counterproductive. But I suppose it's cheap.

Shortly after that picture was taken, she ate the cricket bat.

How fat was this letter?

so a blunt instrument like this letter could be a bit counterproductive

So they have to do a psychological check on the whole family before sending each letter? Or do nothing?

Can I be the first to point out that she is fat? 👿

<p style="margin: 1rem 0px !important; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 12px; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: transparent; line-height: 1.2em; color: #444444; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: left; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;">Can I be the first to point out that she is fat? 👿</p>

I think the school beat you to it.

But! but! but.. she can run! (That's what the news story seemed to be saying anyway)

They didn't send it to the kid though did they, it was the parents who received it. I actually got a phone call from the district health worker saying my youngest was 'clinical obese'. I asked if they had seen him in person before making the call and they confessed they hadn't. The problem is that the BMI calculation is a bit of a blunt tool; most top level rugby players score as overweight by that measure. It's still useful but it can be a bit ignorant of the problem. The health worker acknowledged this but it's still very useful to have something flagged early on because as I know myself, I'm genetically predisposed to huge fluctuations in weight (mine goes up and down by about 30kg or 40% of my lean weight if I'm not careful).

The letter should have been sent with a fine for the parent(s) or guardian(s) along with a follow up appointment in 6 months time for remeasurement.

If they are going to do it they may as well do it right.

I'm thinking they should tread on those eggshells and incorporate some of geetee's post into the letters in future. Give it a personal angle. Might help.

On the plus side, fat kids are harder to kidnap.

We were called by the nurse about two of our kids (twins) when they were in primary school.

'They're both quite tall for their age'

She just wanted to check if my wife or I were above average height, or it could have been a sign of growth problems. My son has just tipped six foot two at 14 and has finaly crept above me. Still he won't be happy when he starts having to duck under doorways.

Size twelve shoes too!

[b]mum[/b] wrote:

They've got other things to think about at this age

So don't make her think about it; don't show her the letter. I'm really not sure what is so difficult about this - the whole problem was caused by her parents not handling the situation properly.

Or should we just ignore the obesity epidemic?

I refused Babybgoode to be weighed on the basis that it is essentially data harvesting.

He is also not fat on the slightest so didn't see the point.

So how exactly are we going to tackle the obesity epidemic?

I'm not sure, but one thing we definitely can't do is tell anyone that they might be a little chubby, there'll be outrage on the BBC.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/topics/cq23pdgvryrt/eating-disorders&link_location=live-reporting-stor y"> http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-42889234?intlink_from_url=http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/topics/cq23pdgvryrt/eating-disorders&link_location=live-reporting-story

"most top level rugby players score as overweight by that measure"

Yeah, but who's going to send them letters telling them they could afford to lose a few pounds?

Bring back bullying, that's what i say.

You didn't need the school to tell you you were fat when i were a lad.

Well you could start by removing all those snack machines and fast food style "restaurants" in schools..

Or I'm surprised Greggs/Costa/Starbucks haven't moved into become a PSL provider.. Take all the LEA headaches away, then supply all the nutrition/coffee and biscuits.

Why hasn't that been thought of?

I think with kids it's really that they're insufficiently active. Fat kids were not the norm when I was young, and often they had a problem causing it (before TV etc). These days there seems to be a lot more pudgy looking kids, especially the boys.

I've heard this "fat and fit" business quite a bit but it generally seems to be uttered by folk who have no idea what being fit means and who may have difficulty waddling up a small hill.

If an adult is fat, that's their business, but it's verging on abuse allowing a kid to get obese when you consider all the future health problems consequent to that.

<p style="padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 12px; vertical-align: baseline; background-color: transparent; line-height: 1.2em; color: #444444; margin: 1rem 0px !important;">I refused Babybgoode to be weighed on the basis that it is essentially data harvesting.</p>

I hope you put on your tinfoil hat, and bid them good day in the strongest possible terms.

I hope you put on your tinfoil hat, and bid them good day in the strongest possible terms.

And did you explain your reasoning to the nurse? I'd love to have seen the reaction.

Regarding the cricket girl - seems like a quitter to me. How far would she have got with that attitude anyway?

Didn't have to. They sent a consent letter out. I wouldn't have minded if they didn't record name address and school of the child and had just weighed him.

Surprisingly there aren't any kids in his class that I'd consider to be obese which I know bucks the trend.

The problem really is we have two conversations about 'fat' - especially in relation to girls.

One is a conversation in relation to health the other is a conversation in relation to body image. Unfortunately in the media the two issue are in conflict.

When we discuss fat / weight in relation to health publicly it tends to be done against a backdrop of images of very fat people being filmed in the street from the neck down. However the health story isn't actually about being that fat and the people who's weight is much lower will be in the frame for those health issue being discussed but they won't recognise themselves in those images.

But for girls in particular theres a discussion about weight in relation to unrealistic body shape expectations and the risks surrounding anorexia.

So messages from one source about weight in relation to physical health are crashing into messages coming from another source in relation to weight and mental health. When you try to have the first conversation its difficult not to use the language used to bully and shame people as part of the other conversation. When you raise the issue of fat/weight with someone you unwittingly  apply the exaggerated image the media uses to them and thats the behaviour and language of a bully even if its not the intention.

<span style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">Didn’t have to. They sent a consent letter out. I efficient have minded if they didn’t record name address and school of the child and had just weighed him.</span>

<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 0.8rem;">I assume they wanted the other data to allow them to see what causal factors may be influencing weights. Location, socio-economic profile etc.</span>

....or maybe they did just want to sign your kid up for a Tesco Clubcard.

Edit: Ohh. Random extra span tags. I feel blessed.

Didn’t have to. They sent a consent letter out. I wouldn’t have minded if they didn’t record name address and school of the child and had just weighed him.

Your previous post made it sound like you'd refused to let the district nurse weigh your baby.

I think B is the fattest letter. Look at him the chubby bastard

B

Look at him the chubby bastard

B is just O with wearing belt. Q is O with his cock out.

I think we’re straying from the issue now

B is just O with wearing belt.

Nah, B is more like D with a belt.

Lard-Ass - Stand by Me

'I dropped the comb' kid (also from Stand by Me)

The Truffle Shuffle

The toothless chunk from Stranger Things

The Baby Gap joke from Superbad (in fact most things that Jonah Hill has done)

Fat kids are HILARIOUS! Just watch them wibble as they 'run' !

Is the gingers the schools should be worried about. The fatties can always lose weight.

"One is a conversation in relation to health the other is a conversation in relation to body image. Unfortunately in the media the two issue are in conflict."

There seems to be some sort of acceptance in the UK of fat birds. (yes, I could call them "large", "curvy", "bubbly" but the reality is they are fat... A spade is a space, after all.)

They spend money on their nails, make up, nice hair styles and of course some high heels because we all know that makes their legs look slender (but it doesn't, does it?).

I'm lays surprised (or is that disappointed?) when I return to the UK and walk down the high street.

In other countries I frequent I don't see that many fat birds. Those that I do wee are not "flaunting" it (as it were).

The average UK diet is crap. Food is cheap and portions too big.

Many of my arms and cousins are fat. Some of them even have type two diabetes, brought on from a shitty diet and a lack of exercise.

And I think, as a nation we should do something to shame people rather than shout about the body beautiful and embrace the fat. If these people are paying for their own private health care and not wobbling to the NHS then fair enough, but they're not. The burden is carried not only on the ankles of the fat, but all of society who contribute taxes towards the running of the NHS.

Get the fat people moving more. Increase the price of shit food. Higher fuel prices (do away with VED and levy ge tax on the fuel... The more you drive the more you pay).

Stop pandering to me so are too ****less to look after themselves.

<span style="color: #444444; font-size: 16px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: #eeeeee;">Many of my arms and cousins are fat.</span>

Many of your arms? Kali, is that you?

i agree there are a lot of fat people, but there are also just people of different shapes and sizes. We’d all look like Stickman if some folk had their way.

she needs to mind her back swing , looks very close to the stumps to me.

Aunts!

#fatfingers

Or....

#bottleofred

I had the misfortune to see both mother and child interviewed on TV this morning.  Mum would appear not to be very bright ...

We have a country that has an obesity and diabetes epidemic ... and we are not allowed to mention it.  Dear god !

I'd send the child a letter telling them that their parent is stupid 😉

We have a country that has an obesity and diabetes epidemic … and we are not allowed to mention it.  Dear god !

TBF it does get mentioned all the bloody time.

Dunno if there's an effective solution as yet though, despite the best of intentions...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-42976971

So concerned Mum showed her the letter and then approached the press?
Poor lass.

^^^ exactly ...

They were that humiliated

So concerned Mum showed her the letter and then approached the press?

Pretty much my point, I believe.

Fat shaming their own kids whilst offering them a KFC bucket to comfort eat.

Parents of the year candidates.

But is she any good at cricket?
Maybe a nationwide link up with Weight watchers and the ECB is on the cards?

i'm more concerned that whoever is teaching her to play cricket hasn't even coached her to hold the bat properly

We sent our kids to school with half a roll of Rolos each in their lunch box as a treat once.  I went to pick them up and I was presented with the banned chocolate and told this was against policy by - you guessed it - a porker of a teacher.  The ensuing conversation didn't go well.

Unfortunately, resource and time short school authorities have to implement 'lowest common denominator' policies as a salve to the latest government knee jerk.  As always, any decent parent has to sort the wheat from the chaff (or just go on National TV and ensure their child is bullied for the remainder of their days, f##kwit).