[Closed] Expectant parents - OMG how much do babies cost!!

[b]It is worth every single penny.[/b]

And remember Ebay is your friend - sell things when you no longer need them (unless you plan on having further children of course). We bought a Mamas & Papas swing for £30 off there and have just sold it again for £35.

And NCT sales are brilliant - get your wife to volunteer so she gets the pick of the bargains before they let the crowds in.

And try not to buy things until you know you need them - my wife spent about £200 on really nice organic natural cotton bedding sets (x2 for our twins) then we ended up putting them in £15 sleeping bags. It is heartbreaking to see all that wasted bedding 🙁

Yup it carries on like that. We are starting to see sone light the youngest we will take out of nursery in a few weeks as the MIL has retired. Nappies, milk and all the rubbish are long gone and that was a help.

They're worth it though, most of the time.

LOL, Mrs Bream has 7 weeks to go and thus far we have spent about 50 quid, and until last weekend we hadn't even spent anything 😯

I call it denial but the wife just calls me lazy..... whatever 😆

Good luck with it all, can't wait myself, even more exciting than buying bikes

Babies are cheap. It's dressing them, the nappies, the car seat, the buggy, the food, the utensils, etc. etc. etc.

Then the cost drops for a couple of years - ages 4-9 aren't too bad.

Then they want a TV, computer, ...

get used to it brother north 🙂

ebay, NCT sales, second hand shops, etc etc

almost 4 years in with 2 little lads and I've never been poorer but its worth every penny

You really have to have another to justify the expense of the first 🙂

Hmmm selling stuff. I'm afraid I'm not that tight or mean we give all the unwanted stuff away to friends or friends of friends. There's always someone who is struggling to kit out or grandparents who want something for when they baby sit.

Even offered stair gates to a young mother who's child we got called to was just mobile and had an accident. Was told it was fine though as health carer was going to bring some new ones. My colleague then asked if I'd not noticed the 42" plasma and ps3.

Yep, NCT sales, eBay and hand-me-downs from friends and family.

Buying tons of expensive new stuff for babies is madness - but hugely hormonally driven by parents who want "everything to be perfect for their little angel".

The simple truth is babies don't give a hoot if the Moses Basket is second-hand or that nice new one from Mamas and Papas. And they grow out of it in a couple if months anyway.

Yep - the times of excess money each month, saving left right and centre have long-gone and we are just getting by each month, but Mrs M only works part-time. Hopefully when ours go to school (3.5 years and counting) she will go back full time, there won't be nappy costs and they can eat with us (and no more expensive pots* to buy).

How much? .... everything you have and more! But what a result 😀

I'm afraid I'm not that tight or mean we give all the unwanted stuff away to friends or friends of friends. There's always someone who is struggling to kit out or grandparents who want something for when they baby sit.

Everyone has different circumstances. We are among the last with children and we have given away things when we know someone wants something, but some other new parents also want to buy new rather than be given someone else's hand-ons.

🙄

Having children is like entering into an eternal hire purchase agreement where the payments keep rising and you never reach the final payment until you die, and sadly the novelty of the goods wears off after 2 days 🙂

We give clothes to friends and receive them from friends as the kids go through sizes.
Only buy new what you have to and overcome the problem that some people appear to have with "second hand" it is cost effective and environmentally friendly.

Babies are cheap - wait till they grow up!!! And they grow up ruddy fast!

Babies don't have to be expensive. I still ended up with too much stuff despite not buying a single item of clothing. All provided by friends and relatives (not requested mind, just seems you can't stop people giving you stuff).

Think our only essential expense was a car seat

Didn't buy a pram, used a sling instead, Moses basket was a gift, picked up reuseable nappies cheap on ebay.

It really need not cost you a lot. The industry conspires to make you think you need to spend thousands.

We got a cast-off bed
Mattress for £90
Sling at first instead of a buggy for £40
Car seat (bought of ebay at knock down price of £250 for a stupidly expensive thing) but we got given another two anyway.
Cheap clothes stacky thing from ikea for baby clothes (£10)
Cheap changing table from ikea (£20)
Got given a TON of clothes both used and new
Bought reusable nappies (£120 from ebay)
Didn't use a moses basket
Got given a lil seat thing from Grandparents
No bottles/utensils etc, used the breast

When we finally did get a pushchair it was £150 reduced end of line.

That's about it really. Oh except we did buy a baby trailer for £500 but that was an extravagance not really necessary 🙂

just keep all the boxes and as above flog everything on ebay and make some cashback.

we were given loads and were lucky, got pushchairs from mates really cheap.

buy clothes from asda (george) my brother in law kits theirs out in baby gap and mammas and pappas pointless in my eyes BUT each to their own

If you've spent a fortune already then thats choice. Babies don't need much when they are born. I think we got the lot for about £100 used off mates (bath 2 prams clothes bottles)

We did but a cot but neither child ever slept in it ever. I'd buy things as you need them not according to what you think you need

Its really easy to say get sucked into a travel system covered in features with claims you'll use it for years. But the reality is that you want them in a nice light stroller ASAP

The real cost is lost income/ child care. We are talking bling carbon bikes per year. Unless you were already in a position where Mrs North wasn't generating an income

Cheers all. We have a mixture of new, s/hand gifted.

Am v excited. No idea if it's a boy or girl, names aren't decided and we've still to agree whether to decorate the "nursery" (one wall is currently a beautiful soft pink...).

😀

Freecycle (freegle) or the local equivalent is tops! Babies are an industry and they want you to buy shiny, fashionable stuff to go with your brand new baby. Resist! Save the dosh for all the classes they (you) want to attend, that's big money. Football and swimming classes start at 6months now! 🙄 And all the bikes they'll get through.........

Lol @ using the bling carbon bike as a monetary unit.

Mrs North has just finished work for mat leave, and it is her current intention (though not yet communicated to work) to return on a part-time (60%) basis (assuming there is a job for her to return to - higher education).

Frankly, I earn enough that if her salary drops by 40%, we will still be fine. Just got to stop frittering money away like we have been over the past few years.

So, no more bikes for me (six is probably enough...).

Six is definitely enough to sit in a garage not being ridden for the next two years...

😉

Travelling system = circa £700?

Our pram = £200 bought by bro and sister.

Car seat = £50

Clothes soo far = TkMaxx and from friends who currently have a Son who is 1.

Why do people need to spend spend spend?

Show them love = love doesn't cost a penny but time 😀

Show them love = love doesn't cost a penny but time

Good luck to you .. it's a great thing having kids.

Don't be too proud we got loads of clothes from friends as handme downs.
I've got 2 young girls and they love it.
And a lot of the clothes have not been worn much if at all.

Me too. When hes in the sling/walking the dog I'll give him a right smack on the cheek which makes him smile! 😀

Me too. When hes in the sling/walking the dog I'll give him a right smack on the cheek which makes him smile!

Kids aren't a fashion statement - we don't need an £800 Bugaboo buggy or designer clothes for our nippers.

Just get a safe car seat, a useable buggy and let the relatives buy it loads of clothes!

Exciting times OMITN!

When they're babies, people want to buy you stuff and you can't have enough vests/sleepsuits etc for a good while. You just have to remember to dress the baby in whatever each person got them when they come to visit. People love that.

Friends, relatives and colleagues whose kids no longer need bulky baby kit (such as cribs, cots, nappy bins, baby baths etc) will see you as the perfect repository for getting rid of all that junk and reclaiming some loft space. They'll scrub and disinfect it all to within an inch of its life so you don't think they're manky slatterns. Result.

Mrs ITN should establish a baby social circle (breast-feeding/mother-and-baby type groups are ideal if you don't have suitable friends nearby) as soon as, if only to save herself from going mental while you're out enjoying yourself and relaxing at work. This has an important bonus that becomes clear as the kids grow older - they grow at different rates so need different clothing sizes at different times. Smart mothers swap clothes around to make sure everyone wears the right size and cut down on the amount of storage you need. You and Mrs ITN get free (often alarmingly expensive) clothes and the fun of laughing at what some people are willing to dress their kids in. Just hope your kid isn't the biggest one or this won't work.

Trust me, you'll soon stop frittering money away when there's none to fritter. Mrs Tyred has been off work for over 2 years now since Tyred Jr number 2 was born, a few more months left then she's due to go back, after a year's mat leave and a career break. We are going to feel like millionaires once she starts getting paid again!

Best of luck matey, enjoy!

Mrshora wanted a fancy pushchair partly because she wanted to be seen to be classy to the other mums whereas my criteria was lightweight and easy to handle whilst out and about 😀

Kids aren't a fashion statement - we don't need an £800 Bugaboo buggy or designer clothes for our nippers.

EDIT: We spent over £1k on a travel system for our twins (not much choice, it was by far the best) but conversely we also bought a £35 second-hand stroller off Ebay. Everyone makes their own choices about what they spend their money on...

Agree but I see it as essentially waste. They go through kit soo quickly its not worth the additional cost.

Labels/brands for childrenswear is another area I'm non-plussed over.

Congratulations Mr North. Our first is due in 7 weeks.

We managed to get lucky by buying £1200 of kit off friends for less than a third of that (their nine month old boy had outgrown it all). And it's all in immaculate condition. All we need now is the pram/pushchair - probably a Quinny Buzz, and then the usual running costs.

It's the child care that scares me. Some are paying £800/month around here - and one couple are paying £1100! And it seems they're having to pay for the holiday time when the kid(s) aren't even in child care!

No idea how we're supposed to find that amount of extra cash, but I guess one will somehow.

But some people want to be able to get the best they can afford for their new arrivals.

Yeah, but Bugaboo isn't necessarily the best, nor is it really worth anything like £800.

Is OMITN's wife called OWITN?

Yeah, but Bugaboo isn't necessarily the best, nor is it really worth anything like £800.

only thing we spent big money on was pram/childset for car system thing and some nice bedroom furniture, baby clothes from h+m, next, even m+s aren't expensive if you but the multipacks and avoid anything branded

worth every penny though, just wait till they put your mobile in the toilet

In my experiance it's not the cost of the cloths etc that are the killer, it's the wife/G-friend not working and then when they do go back it's the childcare.....oh sweet jesus it's murdering us. it wasn't too bad for the first years ago cos her mum looked after little-un but she has sadly passed away so we are forced to pay full cost for minders and nursery and it's brutal.

but still congrats i'm only winging cos it's affected my bike buying hobby. 😆

Why is "the most expensive" always considered "the best?"

A £400 travel system (Mothercare my3) did the job brilliantly and we still use the buggy bit. Rave reviews, well designed.

Looked at Bugaboo and they didn't do as much as this system and everything, I mean EVERYTHING was an extra. My3 comes with all you need as do many others.

When it came to a car seat though (when he reached one) then I did spend - imported a rear facing seat from Sweden - 5x safer than front facing seats for this age according to lots of research.

For clothes, we mostly got bought stuff. I do spoil him with toys though!

All that stuffs for you not the baby, they need very little.

Unless you are happy with a mountain of debt – babies only cost what you can afford

I don't think anyone's criticising those who choose to spend whatever amount. Your money your choice. But when these expenses are not essentials but choices it's a bit silly to moan about it.

It's the child care that scares me. Some are paying £800/month around here - and one couple are paying £1100! And it seems they're having to pay for the holiday time when the kid(s) aren't even in child care!

baby clothes from h+m, next, even m+s aren't expensive if you but the multipacks and avoid anything branded

Why is "the most expensive" always considered "the best?"

Actally I'm sure I saw one of these studies that reckoned to bring up a child from birth to adulthood costs the parents in the region of £200'000.00 or some such amount. I laughed at first but on reflection....

OMITN,

We've got loads of baby boy's clothes if you want any more. Some of it's never been worn and those that have been worn have only been used a handful of times. He was born weighing 10lbs, is three months old on Saturday and already needs 6 months plus sized outfits!
They're yours if you want them, I'm near Chortlon on the Merseybank estate. email in profile.

Cheers
Iain

Thanks, all. Some great advice.

Frustratingly, those of our friends with children are too afr ahead of us to have any cast-offs left (our fault for taking so long to getting round to making one), so we're on the hunt via family.

First NCT clas next week (full day), so Mrs North and i will be able to get to know other expectant parents in the area.

We've a bugaboo pram thingy on order - but there's a practical reason for that cast outlay: Mrs North is tiny (4'10"), and so needs soemthing lightweight. It's pretty much the lightest out there.

Nursery costs look scary. But we'll address that at the time...

Good stuff. 🙂

It does seem important to bear in mind that the majority of children born in the world are raised on very little money. That doesn't mean one shouldn't spend thousands on one's own, but it does suggest it may not be necessary, and therefore is not worth fretting over if it is a strain.

Some extras wile I've spent ages typing a response:

[b]spacemonkey[/b] - congrats too. Race for the prize, eh?

[b]molgrips[/b] - no, she thinks internet forums are full of weridos. She is, as with so many things, entirely correct. 😉

[b]pieman[/b] - thanks. Don't know the gender yet, so can we hold fire. However, if we have a boy, I'll be sure to take you up on that. Am in West Dids, so just round the corner. *Think I sent you to Stu for a wheel, didn't I?*

[b]All[/b] - stop bickering about the price of things. We all have our budgets and our aspirations and an idea of where they should (but often don't) meet. I'm just passing a general comment on cost, mainly because it's all new expense. Now, play nicely. 😀

First NCT clas next week (full day),

where are you going (you are Leeds-based I recall).

Manchester.

I've taken your previous advice on the social aspect of NCT classes to heart, and have told Mrs North that we need to make sure we "join in".

Bugaboo schmugaboo, that's all I have to say.

You could get a Chariot for that price.

Bugaboo schmugaboo, that's all I have to say.

You could get a Chariot for that price.

I could buy one as well....

If you think its bad now wait until they start secondary school - school uniform (blazer / school shirts / rugby kit / trips / bus money etc) grrr grrrr and tory twonks taking money away from parents

probably need more caps for a proper rant.

Chariot are absolutely amazing. Push with one finger 🙂

Not so good for lil babies though because whilst they do have a lovely comfy hammock attachment, they can't see your face as you push.

Slings are best for little uns because they are close and cosy and secure.. much better.

I've taken your previous advice on the social aspect of NCT classes to heart, and have told Mrs North that we need to make sure we "join in".

Hope your experience is as positive as ours was.

Hope your experience is as positive as ours was

Mrs North thinks they're all going to be earth mother hippies.... (my mother was one, so I'm well prepared.)

LOL none were at ours.

Well one was leaning that way everso slightly.

Errmmm - mf - you wrote:

But some people want to be able to get the best they can afford for their new arrivals.

As someone else said, people buy expensive baby stuff for themselves, not their offspring.

More money spent = booming childrenswear/accessories industry.

We managed a straight flush of 3 boys, that kept the price down, but the noise levels up.

Bear it in mind for the future 😉

I wouldn't even think about nursery costs yet, having children does strange things to all of you - Mrs North may not even want to go back to work no matter how she feels now, which is great if you can afford it.

Slings are best for little uns because they are close and cosy and secure.. much better.

Agreed, but they do your back in! Nice to have a flat pram base option as they'll drop off nicely on days out in it, and you can have an almost normal time (usually retrieving other children from nearest river/fountain/hole).

As someone else said, people but expensive baby stuff for themselves, not their offspring.

We're all essentially selfish, having a baby is selfish (we want ensure our genes are passed on). So kitting a baby out in stuff that cements their/our place in society is to be expected I suppose.

Most folk don't like it when this is pointed out to them though! True altruism doesn't exist...

Baby Bjorn active sling is good for potentially sore backs - one of our most used baby purchases.

Then when they get too big - Bush Baby Pinnacle with in-built suspension 😉

Surf-Mat - Member
Errmmm - mf - you wrote:

But some people want to be able to get the best they can afford for their new arrivals.
clearly hinting that best = most expensive.

So therefore anyone with any money MUST get the most expensive kit then? Therefore proving they are well off?

That's what is implied.

Baby bjorns may be better for your back but they're bad for baby's back, google it

What about those hippy swaddle-things?

I love using our sling however my lowerback aches.

Agreed, but they do your back in!

Only bad ones. Close baby carrier = v good.
[img] [/img]

Aww 🙂 No aches on shoulder or back for me, only stopped when she weighed 23lbs cos of the sheer size and extra effort required.

Travelling system = circa £700?

Our pram = £200 bought by bro and sister.

Aren't they the same thing?

And you only need to spend as much money as you want to. But you might look silly putting your foot down with the wife and then spending £££s on bikes.

Ebay can be your friend. Its oncve you have them as well, wife off work, more dependant on parents etc etc etc etc. A ssomeone said it does seem to get cheaper for a few years but once they get to 10+ I do think the costs start to rise again.

Good luck and enjoy

:lol:Good luck with the NCT OMINT, we’ve just finished ours. Have to say we really enjoyed them. We were prepared for some proper hippy sh1t, but it wasn’t at all – but I have heard it is v dependent on the teacher. Our group were great and we all got on v well, so am looking forward to starting ML in 3 weeks (not that I’m counting 😉 ) to get together again.

Hope MrsNorth is ok? I seem to have ballooned suddenly in the last few weeks and am now proper comdedy basket ball up jumper looking, is quite entertaining

There is a real crop of STW babies due in the next couple of months isn’t there?

So therefore anyone with any money MUST get the most expensive kit then? Therefore proving they are well off?

I didn't say 'MUST' I said 'want to be able'. And I don't see any connection of any of that with 'proving they are well off'. Would a single mum on benefits stretching to £100 on a chair be doing it to prove she is well off or simply to get what she considers is the best she can get for her and the baby?

chakaping - Member
Travelling system = circa £700?
Our pram = £200 bought by bro and sister.

Aren't they the same thing?

And you only need to spend as much money as you want to. But you might look silly putting your foot down with the wife and then spending £££s on bikes.

Drawing comparisons would be like describing night as day.

mrsflash - I was talking to 3 dog walkers this week in the park who were marvelling over hora 'junior. One said 'it must be hardwork when hes awake at night'? I replied 'shattering, Im worn out all the time and its been very hard on me' ...so one says 'how often does he wake'?

Me: no idea Im a heavy sleeper (2 laughed and one looked alittle unimpressed)
😆

mrsflash - Mrs North has started ML this week (well, via three weeks of accrued holiday, so ML starts in August).

She's doing well, though getting v tired and has had the basketball look for a while now. Baby is still v active - borrowed a listening device thing the other day and we fell asleep listening to Number 3's* heartbeat ticking away.

Her mum is going to go with her to her next midwife appointment to try to get some sense out of them - like at what point we have to go to the hosp once labour starts. NHS hasn't been that great in this regard. Perhaps NCT will assist (so long as don't spend too much time chanting "om").

Yes, we seem to be among a select group of forthcoming junior STWers..!

Hope all is well with you - is Rich prepared yet for the change to lifestyle?

😀

Yes, NCT will definitely help with when to go in, also great for coping strategies for before you go in such as positions to try out etc etc. We also had a breastfeeding session, which we both found v helpful.

We had no “ommm” chanting and no panting either most disappointing 😉

I agree with MrsN’s assessment of NHS info though, it’s been useless. Midwife not interested in anything other than BP and urine tests, you’re just in and out of the appointments – we requested NHS classes and have heard zero back on them. Although we did go to a v good talk at the hosp last night about waterbirth.

Rich is very excited!

We did the NHS classes too.

Four one hour sessions.

First one hour session covered what drugs we could have.

Second one hour lesson covered how useless it was that her colleague hadn't turned up for the session and they were short-staffed and she was fed up and she couldn't believe we hadn't already been told how to deal with x, y or z and that due to staff shortages they would have to cover everything else that night and cancel the final two sessions.

But in fairness they were VERY good during the delivery and the aftercare.

Would a single mum on benefits stretching to £100 on a chair be doing it to prove she is well off or simply to get what she considers is the best she can get for her and the baby?

What about someone on £100++k a year that doesn't think a £1000 travel system is sensible so gets a £100 buggy instead? Not everyone with money feels the need to advertise it via there offspring...

What about someone on £100++k a year that doesn't think a £1000 travel system is sensible so gets a £100 buggy instead? Not everyone with money feels the need to advertise it via there offspring.

Nothing wrong with buying the best. My point is that the expensive stuff is very often not the best and hence a waste of money.