A Buddhist monk goes to a hotdog stand and says “make me one with everything”.
What do you call a group of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
The England rugby team visited Great Ormond Street children's hospital earlier this week.
"It was really sad. Looking at their empty eyes, their sad faces, with all hope gone", said Amy, aged 7.
Why are native american chiefs buried on the top of hills
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because they're dead
Why do elephants have big ears?
Because Noddy won't pay the ransom.
What's ET short for?
He's only got little legs!
One for the older readers...
What's the difference between Robert Maxwell and Popeye?
Popeye got to mount olive [i]before[/i] he died.
How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts?
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Wi' Jam in.
Went to a restaurant recently where the soup of the day was called Oasis soup. What's Oasis soup?,I asked the waiter.
You get a roll with it...he replied.
What is written on Richard Gere's kit bag?
Richard's gear.
What did Kermit the frog say when Jim Henson died?
Nothing.
I was attending a New Years party when a small scuffle broke out at the dessert trolley.
Apparently, someone had knocked over a bowl of meringue fingers.
A trifling matter, really.
There are two monkeys in a bath. The first monkey says "ooo ooo ooo" to which the second monkey replies "if it's too hot put some cold water in".