[Closed] Do you find you can't be arsed disagreeing with people any more?

After being in the house with the family for the last 6 months, i find myself walking away, often out of the house, as soon as an argument starts, rather than defending my position. Just not worth fighting.

If you say so.. ** sigh **

There are certain types of thread that are unhealthy so I don't get involved; otherwise I (try to) make my point once but then not get dragged in!! This is the internet so realistically, you're not going to change anyone's mind 😂

Wouldn't ever bother even trying on FB but then (unlike here) you can choose who you see posts from... choose wisely & it's very rarely an issue.

All depends if I have anything else to do. Nothing on an internet forum is worth spending much time on a reply. Would help if the posts were limited to 100 words though to make the discussion quicker and to the point.

Yes, especially on ArseBook when some posts utter crap I just block them. The chances of being able to have an adult discussion with anyone these days is sadly diminishing.

I've found myself correcting people who have posted something incorrect about Coronavirus etc. There's no disagreeing, just stating of facts with a source. Unless they are from the US, then I just leave them to it.

Yep. Often find myself about to post a response and then thinking "it's not worth it" and deleting it.

I culled my FB "friends" the other day because of this, went from 200+ "friends" to just 20 close friends, family and a couple of colleagues. And a few of them are on borrowed time.

It's not just calling out or fact checking some of the bollocks some of them spout that I disagree with, even people who I agree with seem to be fixated on an extreme world view and can't entertain any concept of a possible middle ground.

Plus some of the virus paranoia really does my head in, people who couldn't possibly go to a socially distanced outside cafe but quite keen to go back to the office. Well which is it then?

So I've scaled back, including on here, after being roasted/abused for trying to express an opinion that didn't agree with someone elses

Problem is that you do end up in an echo chamber and out of touch with wider "opinion", which may not be the same as "knowledge"

Mostly on Facebook where I deliberately keep a few 'pet' opposing views as friends. Quite often type out a complete response before deleting it. I guess it gets the 'rage' vented without creating an argument.

I don't even read posts from certain people.
That way I don't even have to bother not being bothered to reply.
Don't do facebook either so that's not a problem for me.
I had to train myself to not stop and have an argument with grumpy "shouldn't be riding here" types. They just get a pleasant morning/afternoon/evening as I ride past now.Far mor effective at ruining their day and not mine.

Someone's already said it - in a disagreement, give an opinion, walk away. I'll make an exception for something technical where I think someone might harm themselves. I rarely get involved in discussions on Facebook but then I've obviously "curated" my Friends list well enough that I rarely see any of them posting stuff that ires me.

I find myself deleting lot of posts as I ask myself “does this do anything to move the conversation forward?”.
Often the answer is no.

So I’ve scaled back, including on here, after being roasted/abused for trying to express an opinion that didn’t agree with someone elses

Yeah, I've had that too and seen it happen to others. There is a certain clique who will all jump in as soon as one does. There are some opinions that just can't be expressed on here.

Yes, especially on ArseBook when some posts utter crap I just block them. The chances of being able to have an adult discussion with anyone these days is sadly diminishing.

This.

I tried engaging with a few FB 'friends' who I had kept as 'representative of views other than my own'. I actually tried quite hard. Not aggressive or piss-takey just pointing out stuff or asking the odd pertinent question as neutrally as possible. Most interactions ended up with them playing to the gallery and escalating to various degrees of aggression or silliness.

I just block them now. Life is too short to engage with people who won't give an inch, be in any way introspective or, most likely, posted in the hope of an argument so they can look big in front of other people.

It is quite refreshing.

I'm going to have to disagree with you there Morecash (sorry)
My Mrs follows all kinds of arseholes on twitter, she says she wants to know what the enemy are thinking. I already know what they think, I can't avoid hearing their shite, but if I can minimise it I will be a happier person.
I don't really argue tho, I can think of about 2 times when I've seen someone change their position based on an internet discussion. I'll ignore the minor stuff, block the serious. All hail the killfile (when it works)

Yeah, some of those posters on the best fighter jet thread who don't know the difference between an interceptor and air superiority fighter really need setting straight, but honestly, what can you do?

Sometimes

The ones o struggle with are family, in particular my parents, who have managed to fill their heads with the most ridiculous nonsense they can find in the daily mail.

My mum is Scottish but lived in England for years, brexity, pro Boris & they are having massive issues getting their head round the fact that sturgeon is a better leader than Johnson, they've already alienated my Scottish cousins.

I find myself arguing with them more than I should, it's hard to bite my tongue when they are spouting real bobbins.

Politics becoming more & more polarised
I'm not sure it's good for anyone.

Yep, can't be bothered arguing I the main.  Quite often here people post responses to my posts which I know I can / should post a rebuttal, but can't be bothered.

I've enough stress staying alive and paying the bills, I don't need any more.

It's like screaming at a hurricane arguing with people these days, and for what end really? It's not like they're going to suddenly change their minds based on what i'm going to say.

I'm an idiot, i'll be the first to admit it, I've believed stuff over the years that may be classed as "conspiracy theories" but recently I've learned that I was mostly wrong in my angry twenties and rationality wins over every time.

I've gave up trying to argue with anyone because it gets you absolutely nowhere, I think we're misled by social media to think that the asshole problem in the world is bigger than it is, people are generally decent, it's just the ones who scream the loudest that get all the attention.

Experience has taught me that internet opinions are ofter quite stubborn, so I will very rarely get involved in wasting my time in "I'll be there in a mo, someone on the internet is wrong" scenarios.

I just sit in the cheap seats and throw peanuts for my own peurile amusement

I just sit in the cheap seats and throw peanuts for my own peurile
amusement

It's a trap!

It’s a trap!

I disagree.

I shut down my facebook account for this reason. An old uni mate and overt nasty Tory kept posting bollocks followed by "thats my opinion and no point arguing about it". Well, OK, I'm done then.

I think that’s just what people did in the past, and not so long ago either.

IME arguments were rare, you either said your view and then talked about something else, just nodded along as you were told the Earth was flat, the Royals had Diana whacked or the moon landings were faked and laughed about it later.

More likely now people will fight their corner on every little thing, become more entrenched and more polarised through a sort of weird loyalty to their ‘team’. I can’t help but think we’re being manipulated into it somehow.

Some people don't seem to have any opinion on what the thread subject is about and just wait to slag off someone else's post. It's quite pathetic really. One post is usually enough from me but have found myself reacting occasionally. Had to report my own post to the mods a week or so ago 😆
One poster just seems to check each thread so he can disagree with me. One day he'll realise I don't even read his posts.
But yeah, I have typed stuff then just thought 'why bother' and hit refresh instead quite a lot.
Have a Facebook account, but it's just to see what gigs, music releases are about. Never discuss anything else on there. Same with Twitter.

It depends on the topic of disagreement and how knowledgeable and invested I am in the issue. Some things are a privilege to ignore and others aren't worth it

Yes, I feel similarly. I do have several dear friends that I wholeheartedly have differing views from - but we share the same values, just disagree on how best to get there. Those friends I can have an adult conversation with...

I can’t help but think we’re being manipulated into it somehow.

This, really. Its hard to escape the notion that the internet (or social media) is having an insidious effect on society in way that we won't fully understand until it's too late. Not really sure how you put that genie back in the bottle though.

I think people in general are as decent as they've always been but its often not the picture that is being represented in the media or online and you've got to wonder what sort of effect this distorted representation will have.

Do you find you can’t be arsed disagreeing with people any more?

Depends if they want to have a full argument, or were thinking of taking a course? 😁

One poster just seems to check each thread so he can disagree with me. One day he’ll realise I don’t even read his posts.

Then how do you know?

Shouting into a hurricane is about right. You can post something several times on here, it's there in black and white and people will still either ignore it or misinterpret it to such a degree its difficult not to think its deliberate. God forbid you try and call people out for being arseholes as well, rather than play the ball they play the man and you're suddenly the bad guy.

Still far too many people with an attitude of "it's only the internet" that are quite happy spouting the sort of crap that would earn them a proper hiding in the real world. Sadly I find myself getting included in that these days.

But you're right, sometimes it's easier just to ignore people.

This, really. Its hard to escape the notion that the internet (or social media) is having an insidious effect on society in way that we won’t fully understand until it’s too late. Not really sure how you put that genie back in the bottle though.

Better, more even handed moderation IMO. Descent World was positively draconian (especially if you pissed Gaz off) and even Southern Downhill was more heavily moderated in comparison to here but there was in no way the same mob mentality, antagonisation, bickering or circular arguments as the mods tended to keep things on track rather than the laissez-faire attitude on here. That's not a criticism of the mods BTW, it's just how a difference in the attitudes and philosophies underpinning your platform can affect these sorts of things.

It depends.

Even on the "internet" and various social platforms thereof, you can generally tell the difference between a well natured discussion and a slanging match.

Debate is an important thing, testing out ideas by asking other people what they think of them is one of the things that actually drives progress.

But yeah, when a "discussion" descends into a series of personal attacks, ad homs or random invective then I don't engage.

Never done FB etc. STW is the only social media outlet I indulge in. There's the odd contrarian on here but for the most part I find it an engaging, informative and supportive place.

I have a 3 strikes rule, I'll give the benefit of the doubt twice then it's bombers / potty mouth time.

I reserve my anger for technology, things like trying to type on a phone with my sausage fingers, getting logged out unexpectedly etc. That shit makes me really mad. Autocorrect is the spawn of Satan and has argued with me numerous times whilst typing this reply. It's even more contrary than morecash!

Autocorrect is the spawn of Santa

FTFY

Problem is that you do end up in an echo chamber and out of touch with wider “opinion”

Mleh, I wouldn't go drinking with folk who's opinion is diametrically opposed to my own, so why would I go out of my way to engage with them on social media? Like many on here, I gave up on FB a long time ago, I re-engaged with a village community page a few months ago, and TBH it was just as vile as I remembered.

This site is the only place I'll really "contribute" to a discussion, and I'm finding that increasingly, I can't even be arsed with that either.

Yes. I think it's important that people are provided with a range of views, so there are friends on Facebook posting stuff I'll frequently (and politely) challenge. But I tell you what, that shit is getting real tired.

Online - definitely CBA, it rarely does any good . IRL then I think I challenge people more.

Never been one for arguing whether that be face to face or online as its ****ing pointless and achieves the grand total of **** all whilst needlessly raising stress levels/hormones, I'll offer my opinion on subjects and then walk off, I do read some of the argumentative threads on here by some of the more vociferous posters and i wonder just what the **** is going on (or not) in their lives that they consider it so important to get their argument and point of view across.

#sadsackforumdwellers

I’m finding this with work right now. Currently going through about the 5th re-org in as many years. Initially keen to input to try and get things right. Increasingly I can’t be arsed. I’ve got to the point where I’m argued out and management can just deal with the consequences of poor decisions.

The rise of social media coincided with the decline in graffitti. So all of that sloganeering, self-aggrandisement, misspelling, obscenity, idiocy and vandalism is now brought right to your screen, gratis.

God forbid you try and call people out for being arseholes as well, rather than play the ball they play the man

Don't know if I'm missing some subtle wind-up here, but surely calling someone an arsehole is the exact definition of playing the man?

Don't give up. The world needs people to speak out. If you stop, they'll win.

However, this doesn't mean getting into a row. The trick is to do it nicely, it's far more effective.