[Closed] Disappointing chocolate

I bought one of these at the weekend:

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Sounded delicious, but tasted like easter egg chocolate dipped in a jaffa cake.

Thank god I had a Double Decker to fall back on.

Thank god I had a Double Decker to fall back on.

I had one of those last week and was also strangely disappointed. Just not what I remembered at all. Thanks god I had a Picnic to fall back on 🙂

How bizarre! I had a picnic only five minutes ago, and nearly slit my wrists with disappointment as it had slightly less raisins than I remember. Thank god I had a fat nurse to fall back on - I didn't even get a bruise.

There's only one true, reserve choclate bar to prop you up after a Milky Way or Bounty experience.

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The Tunnock - bathed in its own celestial light

[b]It's the Winston Churchill of confectionery.[/b]

The king if all chocolate bars was the Maverick Bar.

I've been disappointed with everything since.

😥

Actually, Tunnocks wafers are fantastic.

Thank god I had a fat nurse to fall back on.....

They do love the chocolate.

I would say that the Tunnock's was the Roy Keane of the confectionary world. Churchill was more of a Fruit and Nut.

Shame the coating on Tunnocks Wafers tastes nothing like chocolate though.

Tunnocks FTW! But not those new fangled dark chocolate imposters.

fat nurses taste of chocolate. i know this to be a legal fact.

(i've never tasted a fat nurse, but as a nurse i feel qualified enough to comment on the assumed flavour of my portly colleagues)

mrsconsequence is made out of cocopops, also a legal fact.

After Green and Blacks cherry all chocolate is disappointing to me now!

Tunnocks FTW! But not those new fangled dark chocolate imposters.

They're doing Tunnocks in dark chocolate now???!!!???

Noooooooo!

When I were a lad, it wasn't even proper chocolate - it was a chocolate flavoured coating 🙂

After Green and Blacks cherry all chocolate is disappointing to me now!

Heathen, I bet you like cheese with fruit in too.

I once went out with a medium sized nurse who was the Curly Whirly of the nurse world. I think.

Heathen, I bet you like cheese with fruit in too.

Spot on! that cheddar with the fruit cake in was sublime!

Seriously the sour cherrys against the bitter dark choccy...............mmmmmmmm

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The king of tedious chocolate has to be

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It's just like a regular bar of chocolate only with all the taste removed. Come on, Twirl, where's your soul, where's your god damned passion? I know that when you wanted to grow up you wanted to be a Ripple, but sometimes we've got to just roll with the punches and play with the hand we're dealt. But no, you're content just to sit there in your insipid, yellow and purple wrapper, looking like some bastard lovechild of that Quality Street with the hazelnut in it and a peanut M&M, only with the charisma of neither. You are to chocolate as daytime TV is to high drama. You're a sad, pathetic excuse for a chocolate bar and you should take a long, hard look at your life. Even the Yorkie bar can be made interesting by snapping off the individually lettered chunks, amending the 'O' into a 'C' with a sharp knife, and rearranging to make a Crikey bar. And, AND, it bloody well tastes of something. And it's still JUST CHOCOLATE! What's your goddamn excuse? I've had more interesting white chocolate, and that's just all the crap that's left over when you make chocolate but don't put any bloody chocolate in it. Pull yourself together, you utter waste of cocoa.

It's just like a regular bar of chocolate only with all the taste removed. Come on, Twirl, where's your soul, where's your god damned passion? I know that when you wanted to grow up you wanted to be a Ripple, but sometimes we've got to just roll with the punches and play with the hand we're dealt. But no, you're content just to sit there in your insipid, yellow and purple wrapper, looking like some bastard lovechild of that Quality Street with the hazelnut in it and a peanut M&M, only with the charisma of neither. You are to chocolate as daytime TV is to high drama. You're a sad, pathetic excuse for a chocolate bar and you should take a long, hard look at your like. Even the Yorkie bar can be made interesting by snapping off the individually lettered chunks, amending the 'O' into a 'C' with a sharp knife, and rearranging to make a Crikey bar. And, AND, it bloody well tastes of something. And it's still JUST CHOCOLATE! What's your goddamn excuse? I've had more interesting white chocolate, and that's just all the crap that's left over when you make chocolate but don't put any bloody chocolate in it. Pull yourself together, you utter waste of cocoa.

And it hasn't got cherries in it

When I saw the thread title I initially assumed one of you was in America and had purchased one of the many poor quality chocolate products available in stateside confectionary establishments.

I mean, everyone talks about Hershey bars so that's the first one I tried when I was over there. GAH! It's like brown flour mix.

Then I decided to try something I understood like M&M's, which of course is the same brown flour mix surrounded by peanut tasting candy. Everything tastes like peanuts!

I was glad to get home so I could have a good old gnaw on the chocolate bar of champions.

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Twirls are Flakes for the anally retentive. I should know, my wife loves them but refuses flakes on the grounds of 'too messy'. 🙄

Twirls are Flakes for the anally retentive.

I thought I'd seen them all, but I must've missed that Flake advert. They really pushed the boundaries, didn't they.

That's why the bath was blocked.

Perhaps if it had more fruit in it she wouldn't have that problem.

That's why the bath was blocked.

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tasted like chicken, very disappointing.

As Samurai says - Wife brought me back a Hershey bar last week - wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. How can the yanks do it to themselves.

Am I alone on still insisting on calling s*****rs (can't bring myself to type it) Marathon bars?

America does a lot of things very well. FM radio, for example, and Waffle House.

Chocolate, however, is not one of these things.

Hersheys chocolate is pants, yet their peanut butter chocolate things are mmmmmmmm.......... fat nurses enjoy! 😉

Am I alone on still insisting on calling s**rs (can't bring myself to type it) Marathon bars?

No. I undertook a rather childish boycott of s**rs for many, many years before another vending machine loss of concentration. Luckily the s**rs was nowhere near as tasty or massive as I remember the Marathon being.

As far as I am concerned the s**rs is the Marathon's cousin, not the fit one (Whisper) but the short one with the hairy mole and the odd shaped shoulders that you would only entertain during an emergency or when nobody would find out.

Blimey - what could a lack of concentration at this vending machine buy you?

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A copy of each probably...

Not sure about the peanut butter stuff either. Those reeses cup things are pretty minging. Though admittedly not as minging as Hershey kisses.

Once a month, every month we get a very nice box drop through our letterbox from http://www.chocs.co.uk/

All other chocolate tastes like processed poop afterwards

high street chocolate to me is always disappointing, tastes so dam sweet!
the only thing i can stand in Green and Blacks!

European chocolate can be nicer i find.

Wife brought me back a Hershey bar last week - wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. How can the yanks do it to themselves.

That's what European chocolate makers say about the rubbish that the likes of Cadbury/Rowntrees/Nestle churn out in this country. It really doesn't deserve to be called chocolate.

Oh I forgot - she also brought me back a packet of twinkies. What in the name of sweet confectionery shaped products are they?!! Admittedly they got a little squashed and appear to be leaking puss out of the side but at least I got as far as putting the Hershey in my mouth, not a chance of that happening with those yellow and white abominations.

anything cadburys nestle or rowntree gets a wide berth from me.. what exactly [i]is[/i] that stuff..?

Took me years to get over the Marathon thingy - I still haven't recovered from the loss of Opal Fruits. Starburst. FFS. 🙄

I find European chocolate minging, just like their crisps.

German crisp. You would think that the nation that brought you the Bugatti Veyron, Jürgen Klinsman and 99 Luftballoons could come up with something better than paprika bloody crisps.

I had some chilli chocolate last night, it was quite nice surprisingly enough,
The wife brought some Hershey bars and some crisps from America not long ago, the Hershey bars were foul and the crisps had a big label on the front of the bag that said 'no cholesterol' and then the list of ingredients had cholesterol in them 😯
And they were foul as well 😕 How do they get so huge with that crap?

How do they get so huge with that crap?

ernie_lynch's next victim. He'll be on you like a rabid doberman and he won't let go.

He'll call you a fat bastard and everything.

*unlocks security shutters and lets some sunshine into the panic room*

You would think that the nation that brought you the Bugatti Veyron, Jürgen Klinsman and 99 Luftballoons could come up with something better than paprika bloody crisps.

It was still messed up man.

I remember the profound disappointment I felt when I saw into Nena's armpits. HAIR - LOTS OF HAIR.

*unlocks security shutters and lets some sunshine into the panic room*

Oh' so he's met me then......

 

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Whenever one of the managers goes to the US, they bring back Hersheys chocolate, and we all dare each other to each it. Hersheys is known as 'vom chocolate' and 'trout chocolate' in our office. Chocodiles are also utterly dreadful creations - twinkies covered in chocolate.

I love Belgian, German and Swiss chocolate, but I'm also partial to a bit of Cadburys, especially Crunchies and Wispas. Don't mind Nestle, their chocolate is rich with suffering, and Malteasers are practically a diet food. Not that keen on Galaxy as I find it a bit cloying.

I used to do a lot of business trips to Brussels & always had to bring back 'Team treats' - a box of Godiva. Proper chocs that even I can't eat more than 3 or 4 of in one go. Oh OK, 5 or 6.... or 7....

as ALOVER OF CHOCOLATE, I'M CURRENLY SUPER IMPRESSED BY aLDI's Choceur selecion !

not real chocolate, but exceptionally tasty 👿

on the other hand to what the_lecht_rocks just said i had some of thornton's chocolate the other day and it tasted just like some of that gritty tosh you get in america. i don't see why thorntons are so highly regarded. they just make them look good.

Posted 3 hours ago # Report-PostHarry_the_Spider - Member
I once went out with a medium sized nurse who was the Curly Whirly of the nurse world. I think.

Were you convinced that she was bigger when you first met?

Green and Blacks ginger disappointed me the other day. I should have guessed it would taste rank given it was ginger and chocolate.

I like Green and Blacks dark chocolates especially the mayan gold with orange and spices but I found their milk chocolate really disappointing, especially given the price. Give me a bar of Milka anyday.

German crisp. You would think that the nation that brought you the Bugatti Veyron, Jürgen Klinsman and 99 Luftballoons could come up with something better than paprika bloody crisps.

No one has really posted any quality chocolate yet.

Cadburys is still a veg fat processed bar of low cocoa solid origin.

I run screaming from the cloying fatty nastyness of Dairy Milk. All this about twirls, snickers. Its not chocolate, its "confectionary", in the same way Darts is a pastime, not a sport, and Nursing auxillaries are bottom wiping tea makers, and not qualified underpaid medicians.

Even Green and blacks I find gritty and rough.

Try Montezumas chocolate bars, they're ace.

Makes the best hot chocolate I've ever tasted.
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Quality chocolate is not about the cocoa content. It's what tastes nice that counts. Just saying.

This is where it's at
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http://www.hotelchocolat.co.uk/

Whenever one of the managers goes to the US, they bring back Hersheys chocolate, and we all dare each other to each it. Hersheys is known as 'vom chocolate' and 'trout chocolate' in our office. Chocodiles are also utterly dreadful creations - twinkies covered in chocolate.

Christ on a bike, when I was in the Andes (sorry, but I was) we came to regard Hersheys as indescribably delicious, which tells you everything you need to know about the locally made chocolate in, say, Ecuador or Peru which basically tasted like chocolate-scented candle wax. Stuff made in Chile was marginally better, but trust me, it was all relative.

In Bogota we found a delicatessen where Cadbury's Fruit and Nut was actually kept locked in a glass-fronted case, really, which tells you everything you need to know about South American chocolate 😉

MARS BAR - that is the best chocolate ever, fact. (albeit feels like a bit of a rip off nowadays, I'm fairly young but still remember it being around 20-25p and in a paper wrapper)

Cadburys and coco pops for the win!!!!

EDIT - MrsConsequence using phils login

Hotel Chocolat? Some of the nastiest chocolate I've ever tasted came from there. I'd sooner eat Tesco Value milk chocolate.

Artisan du Chocolat, maybe... Especially their hot chocolate!

We used to get the Hotel Chocolate boxes but packed them in after a couple of years as we thought a lot of repeat chocs were coming up , it's ok but not super special.

We used this as our favourite mid ride snack when we used to go touring BC (before children).
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Green and Blacks was good before cadbury. now it's been ruined. Quite upset me at the time! Get the Hotel Chocolat boxes delivered at work, just for a bit of fun really. We have a decent chocolate shop in town, but they don't deliver or have a little menu 🙁

Green and Blacks isn't very good IMO, but you don't need to spend loads of money on 'artisan' chocolate with pretentious marketing to get the good stuff either. Lots of supermarkets have decent quality stuff, including M&S, who even have varietal chocolate.

didnt Thortons get taken over / change suppliers a few years back - i could taste the difference quite immediately but they still have that 'aura' of it being some kind of special boutique brand - a bit like how Coke a Cola take over all these boutique fruit juice companies without you really knowing .....

Jamie

Thank god I had a Double Decker to fall back on.

Sounds like George Michael with a Careless Whisper 😉

Most disappointing chocolate I have had has been that fair trade stuff - the really small, over priced bars. Was not a fair trade for me that was for sure.

Oh and when I was a kid you could get those clear plastic walking sticks full of fake Smarties at Llandudno - they were truly disgusting.