MegaSack DRAW - This year's winner is user - rgwb
We will be in touch
Following on from another thread where I was surprised about the response of one post, how many of you have actually discussed death and what will happen.
For me I know exactly what Mrs FD wants to happen to her body when she dies. She wants her brain to go to a very specific foundation which do some pioneering research, and her body to go on the standard donor list. She also wants to be cremated (well whats left of her). When she first told me I found it very difficult to deal with and comprehend, but now, although I dont think I fully like the idea, at least I know and it hopefully wont be a hard at the time.
We also have our wills set out, and have made financial provisions for our son if we go before him etc
I also know what my parents want to happen to them when they die, and in essence what they want to happen with their estate.
To me all the planning now will save a load of hassle and distress when it comes to the time when one of my family does die. I am not saying it will make the loss of a familly member easier, just that there will be less things for me to worry about.
Surely this is better than burying your head in the sand?
absolutely. agreed. although my parents didn't discuss the donor / cremation stuff with e, I think they'd discussed it between themselves. and were very much of the "draft a will in good time" school.
something we've managed to do as well; comprehensive coverage for most eventualities. don't forget the Power of Attorney side for ageing parents or indeed for yourselves / when the children are around but not mature.
yes my will is clear and what I do with my parents is known as well
yes everytime I go DHingDeath & Planning for it - Do you talk about it in your family?
Me, no, but at 43 I'm not too concerned.
My mum refused to accept she was not going to cope forever at home which made things difficult for her, also no tax/care home costs planning as a result. I really hope I don't do that.
Didn't make a will until I'd children, probably should have made one earlier.
If you are reading this and haven't a will, that's ok as long as you've no dependents and don't really care about the person/people who have to sort out your death and tidy up your 'estate'...
...must get ass in gear and make a will....
(it's been on my to do list for a while!)
DrP
yes. know where my parents & grandparents wills are too. & what their donor wishes are too.
having searched my uncles house & his extensive collection of paper work, including 15 years of spanish telephone bills & 30 years of bank statements, looking for a will we realised how important it is not only to make one but to tell someone where it is!
She wants her brain to go to a very specific foundation which do some pioneering research,
where do we sign up?
this thread has just kicked my arse into gear DrP - just made an appointment for a Friday at our solicitors for Mrs S and I to start the ball rolling on will writing.
Been putting it off for ages, despite having two boys and a certain amount of net worth, just because it never seems pressing. But I could be run over by hora tomorrow and then where would I be eh?
I've been telling my old man for years that as soon as he's wheel chair bound he'll be sending Hengistbury Head.
My dad made a wiill and also planned his funneral out, with me and the undertaker, the music, the church and flowers etc,he even paid upfront.
He had terminal cancer so knew the end was near, it was really sad sitting there trying to not to think of the day when the plan would be put into place, it happened about 18 months latter and all went to plan.
Always best to make arrangements early,just incase something happens.
Stoner - Does that mean you are going to make me a beneficiary in your will 😆
I shall leave you my unpaid credit card debts. Something to remember me by.
I was talking it through for the first time with my mum last night. She said she wants a cardboard coffin, which might be a bit of an engineering challenge. She's not a small woman.
We've got a belated appointment to make a will in a couple of weeks time. The thing that has always held us up was what to do with the kids in the event that we both die. I'm still not sure that there is another couple who I would want to entrust them to/inflict them on.
The thing that has always held us up was what to do with the kids in the event that we both die.
have them buried with you like the egyptians. Its a sign of love.
[i]The thing that has always held us up was what to do with the kids in the event that we both die.[/i]
I'm the named guardian for my nephews by one sister and niece by another sister. I'm one dodgy family BBQ food-poisoning disaster away from an instant family 😯
I was uncharacteristically unsettled by that Stoner. But I'll give it some thought.
The problem is IHN, I'm not sure there's an obvious choice in our family, and it is such a big commitment to ask people to make. Even now I'm struggling to decide what to do.
^^^we've not done our will for the same reasons, still can't decide who'd have our kids if we both died.. we were sorted until my brother developed what is probably going to be terminal cancer a few years back.. now we don't know... must get organised and do something though.
My old man wanted me to chuck him in the river on a ebb tide...
... but he now seems to have changed his mind and wants to be buried
Yes. I've said what I'd like including the music. I've even told the sis in law that I'd like mrshora not to grieve too long/move on.
To be honest I like the idea of being chopped up and placed ontop of a mountain for Vultures to feed on but I don't think thats possible.
What I haven't done is spelled out how much I have in my pockets, what my house is worth or how much I've got at the local Building society and neither have they worked out percentagewise what to have each from this. This is a tiny part of the 'terrible' event. A tiny, fractional part.
What is important is savouring the life, what I'd like, how comfortable I am with the decisions/what would happen etc- this would really help their grieving IMO. They wouldn't feel lost or as shocked.
The thing that has always held us up was what to do with the kids in the event that we both die.
Yep - utterly stumped on this one
[i]The problem is IHN, I'm not sure there's an obvious choice in our family, and it is such a big commitment to ask people to make. Even now I'm struggling to decide what to do[/i]
I know of one couple who made a deliberate choice to go outside the family with their choice of guardian, the thinking being that the children are then more likely to keep equally in contact with both sides of the birth family.
Yep, very clear. My parents (mid 60s) are just in the process of sorting out power of attorney for if/when it's necessary (hopefully a long way off), especially as they're currently sorting the same out for my grandparents.
Death happens. Hopefully it'll be a long time off but the last thing you'd want is for people you care about to have to sort out all sorts of forms/legalities at the time because it hadn't been planned for.
No family. Don't talk about it. Nothing to say except - couldn't care less. Why would I? I'll be dead...
Whatever, nevermind.
My Mrs has made it clear how she want's her ashes dealt with at least, but I wish she would actually write and register a will.
How about; you've kids and haven't made a will because you don't know who you don't want to pi55 off - her parents/sister/brother, or your parents/sister/brother?
Don't worry, 'cos it'll be social services that'll have 'em while the court argue's about it! Stop ****ing about, make a will!
b r, I know you are right. Decision time next week.
Give me away to medical science or donor parts and what they don't want torch the rest. No flowers no service cheap as possible.
I'm going to stipulate I want my stiffened corpse sent to the "Jim Henson factory", to be filled with anamatronic stuff, and have the 'controls' set on 'random' so as to eternaly freak out the atendees at my funeral.....
DrP
The problem is IHN, I'm not sure there's an obvious choice in our family, and it is such a big commitment to ask people to make. Even now I'm struggling to decide what to do.
Yes, this is a massive decision. My sister-in-law would take on guardianship of our daughter if we died. In a ideal world she's not a 'perfect'* guardian. She is a good person but has different values to us but considering the real possibility of our daughter being taken in care if we die is the alternative you are far better to make provision in a will than to leave it to chance.
(*but who is a perfect parent anyway!?)
To answer the OP's question - yes we've discussed all matters to do with death and wills are sorted out. If you do want to donate organs don't put this in your will as by the time its read it will be to late to use them. Just let everyone know your wishes and get registered on the appropriate donor websites.