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I've given up, took me months to find the guts to ask out [s]my last victim[/s] the last girl I liked from my tennis club and she said no and laughed a lot.
It's not worth the hassle.
Frankenstein - Member
Never been on an Internet date.Just find it easy to ask someone out.
I guess it really depends what your social circles are, the internet just helps you get to the asking out phase a little quicker
[i] j4mie - Member
I've given up, took me months to find the guts to ask out the last girl I liked from my tennis club[/i]
A friend who has recently become single swears to me he won't ask out the ladies at the rowing club or the tennis club. I'm currently undecided whether that's a good or bad move. His theory is you only get one chance. If that doesn't work out all the other Women at said club will know the [i]details[/i], close ranks and repel borders.
He may have a point, although this particular scenario doesn't bother me as I generally don't to the sports club thing. Although I did go to badminton regularly for a while.
[i]she said no and laughed a lot.[/i]
Crazy girl? Certifiable!
😆
Sure he might only get one chance, but it's better than no chance. And there is nothing stopping him being a decent human being if anything goes wrong. Sounds like he's massively overthinking it.
[i] greencat - Member
Sure he might only get one chance, but it's better than no chance. And there is nothing stopping him being a decent human being if anything goes wrong. Sounds like he's massively overthinking it. [/i]
He's a friend and yes, he's a good guy, thanks. I think he just values being able to attend clubs without having any [i]issues[/i] and explore other avenues when seeking a partner.
🙂
Edit:
In fact, giving it some more thought, I recall people have told me they'd never get involved with anyone in the office, for similar reasons.
The deep irony is that as soon as you get married you lose your fear of chatting up girls. I'm sure that if I was a philanderer I would be enjoying more "Egyptian PT" now than ever.
[i]"Egyptian PT"[/i]
Hadn't heard that one before.
😆
It seems a bit less of a problem as you get older.
Met and talked with some nice people a year ago when I dipped my toe into the dating pool aged 53.
Very luckily found someone truly lovely, and she is now beginning to say she needs a bike with discs, rather than her aged rockhopper.
But heard some horror stories from friends, including from female friends. I don't think all the blokes out there are honest or bargains either...
Solo - well there is the old adage of don't screw the crew which I would subscribe to (particularly in the office). Equally, there's no point in being lovelorn and worried about the consequences of what might happen if you are really keen on someone.
The main problem in terms of coupling up is this: people don't want to compromise, they are looking for the ideal, which doesn't exist.
The people who are serious about settling down and having kids in their 30s often end up compromising, especially on the romance and courting side of things - they are often married and with two kids within four years of meeting one another.
I was speaking to a lady who cares for people in hospice care. She said the biggest regret many of them had was not having children.
My own experience is of a string of disappointments, definitely because my expectations were too high and I lacked tolerance and patience. Quite late, in my late 40s, I came back from working in France and realised that I probably was mature enough to marry and that the best kind of wife would be one with whom I could get along in the bad times as well as the good, because the early days of a relationship don't last very long. Happily Mrs Gti and I see eye-to-eye on most things except the room-stat setting and married life is pretty harmonious for us.
[i] badnewz - Member
The main problem in terms of coupling up is this: people don't want to compromise, they are looking for the ideal, which doesn't exist.[/i]
Ime, Women suffer more with this, I refer to these types of Women the "[i]Perfectionists[/i]". I saw one for a while, the pressure to say and do X,Y,Z, was significant. It really killed it for me.
[i]I was speaking to a lady who cares for people in hospice care. She said the biggest regret many of them had was not having children. [/i]
I was listening to a BBC radio program about this, recently. I think my Generation saw the largest number of Women at that time, avoid relationships or anything "steady" instead choosing to build a career for themselves. And fair play, a lot of them appear to have succeeded in whatever field they chose. However, according to the radio program I was listening to. A lot of them now, V late 30s, early 40s, are apparently regretting not doing the children thing. Of course, their careers are coming good now as they have lots of experience and are probably starting to finally get to where they always wanted to be which is again another distraction from family and children.
And that's before they would have to start sifting through us lot for decent candidates.
Plus I've noted Women of that age group are easily distracted by Men in their late 20s, as witnessed last week, at the office Xmas do...
😉
I was speaking to a lady who cares for people in hospice care. She said the biggest regret many of them had was not having children
i'm not quite in a hospice yet but i can relate to this
Many - certainly not all!! Sooo happy I don’t have kids!
Mind you, having found myself back looking again, I can confirm that single women in their 40's are way more “complicated” than ones in their 30’s!
(Actually no - it seems all gay women are complicated - why did nobody warn me of this?????)
Rachel
(Actually no - it seems all [s]gay women[/s] [b][u]people[/u][/b] are complicated - why did nobody warn me of this?????)
I don't think gender or sexuality comes into it! 🙂
I was speaking to a lady who cares for people in hospice care. She said the biggest regret many of them had was not having children.
Maybe because they had no-one close to look after them and keep them out of a hospice. To expand the generalisation further everyone regrets things they didn't do from turning down a job to the "one" that got away maybe.
You make your choices in life and let the chips fall where they may. It could well have turned out a lot different travelling down a different road. Maybe better, maybe worse, who knows?
Avoid chaps who are still living at home or want you to meet their mothers/fathers. Chaps who say 'I need to call my mum to tell her where i am" WTF! I just walk away.
Men how can you be still under your mothers apron at that age! 😯
Worst line i have heard was "When my parents die, i will get the house" i ran into the night screaming.
Worst line i have heard was "When my parents die, i will get the house" i ran into the night screaming.
Unfortunately for the younger generations, this is the only way they are going to get on the property-ladder!
I wasn’t being entirely serious, woody2000… 🙂
Rachel
He wasn't young, He's 40 and still at home.
I now ban all friends from trying to farm me out.
I couldn’t even imagine living with my parents at 40 - we’d drive each other mad!!
Rachel
Understood, I'm just wondering how it will affect dating conventions in the future, as most of the people where I live who are in their 20s live at home now and say they can't afford the rents (which I can believe in many cases).
We may be returning to multi-generational families (i.e. people can't afford to move out until they've met someone).
I think it's not a case of 'only the mad ones' but you do need a bit of luck and good timing. I'm very lucky, myself and the better half both found ourselves single within a few months of each other. He's not perfect, but as luck would have it, he's perfect for me. Plus we both agree that the relationship would probably have never worked if we had met in our twenties as we are both more tolerant, kinder and I guess aware of everything that has failed in previous relationships.
Well maybe more.luck than judgement but ive never met a woman who wanted to "change me" and now at 44 and single they would have **** all chance:-)
May be im a bit old fashioned but you go out with people because you like who they are not some big plan at moulding them on how you want them to be.thats just mad!
I think I'd be very hard to change now too. I've been single for so long I'm simply too used to doing what I want, when I want. It is threads like these which make me think I will stay like this, as there are a lot of "complicated" people out there, and in all fairness I'd include myself in that definition.
Anyhow, I hope all the single people have a relaxing and enjoyable christmas 🙂
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😆
I see a love affair brewing between mrsfry & badnewz... you can thank me for starting this thread at the wedding!!
So sweet 🙂
Don't forget to write down your mothers maiden name, DOB and the first line of your adresse......
love you till the money runs out....or the police arrive
I'd hate to be in the dating game- imagine it's time to sell your Santa Cruz Heckler on STW classifieds. You put up pics that you took 7yrs earlier (it looks different now but you want to deceive potential buyers), you take deposits/payments from numerous buyers and lie to each of them. Then when one won't stop contacting you you say 'look I've decided to hold onto it here's your money back'.
Well not quite the best analogy but its how it looks to me; liers, deception, mistruths etc.
Some people just want action, love attention but can't understand themselves or just feel embarrassed to go on the appropriate sites. They want taken out and seeing too regularly but without strings.
Then there are normal men and women who are genuinely looking for a partner who have to suffer these people.
Thing I noticed when I went on a dating site(well pof,maybe not the best dating site out there for non crazies;),was the amount of women who's photos just contained pictures of their tattoos,i don't mind tattoos at all as it goes but about 10 close ups is a bit much.
Don't forget to write down your mothers maiden name, DOB and the first line of your adresse......love you till the money runs out....or the police arrive
Well I am due to inherit my parents house... 😉
The problem with online dating, as far as i can see, is that there's not much jeopardy involved. Instead of meeting someone in day-to-day life and having to pluck up the courage to tell them that you like them or ask them out it's just swipe right and send them a few messages, there's nothing to lose and therefore, it's totally different chemistry (i.e. not much). You don't get that tension, or the relief when you do manage to cop off with someone.
I reckon (and i'm no psychologist but i have been on a lot of Tinder dates recently) that it's a case of easy come easy go. Make one mistake and you're out the door and it's onto the next one. I apply the same rules, i'm picky and i find a lot of traits of single thirty something females a bit annoying. Kind of makes me wish i'd met and stayed with someone in my 20's.
But having said that i met someone in real life a few months back, thought she was my ideal woman, turned out she was a bit of a control freak and also had a history of dating mountain bikers. I think she just saw me as a toy or some sort of prey she could toy with.
It's hard but what else can you do except keep trying? Try not to let the bad experiences poison your view of females in general, and bin the girls who have a negative attitude towards men as soon as possible. Don't waste your time on haters.
I've been dating on Tinder since September, had a few single dates, couple of few dates, one few weeks and have been seeing a girl for about six weeks now. She's brilliant 😀
Haven't had anyone who looked nothing like their profile pics, the only thing I've found is I get more attention from foreign girls which was great as there was always loads to talk about on first date.
I don't know what it is about female profiles on dating websites but the following want to make me instantly move on:
Photo posing with one of those god awful fashion dogs with a face that looks like it's run into a concrete wall very fast.
Pouting selfie in the mirror, screams 'self centred' and makes you look like a goldfish.
Set of face only photo's without a full body shot (have to assume the 'iceberg' scenario).
Photos with all your mates - which one the hell are you? Probably the ugly one!
Photos taken with dudes - I'm looking for a girl to date, not guys to drink beer with!
Come on girls, you can present yourselves better surely?
[quote=hora ]I'd hate to be in the dating game- imagine it's time to sell your Santa Cruz Heckler on STW classifieds. You put up pics that you took 7yrs earlier (it looks different now but you want to deceive potential buyers), you take deposits/payments from numerous buyers and lie to each of them. Then when one won't stop contacting you you say 'look I've decided to hold onto it here's your money back'.
or buy a new bike every few weeks, sell the old ones on, complain on here that none of them ever seem quite right, whilst asking for advice on making them fit better...
Is that any better as an analogy?
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Other observations, single, no kids, probably a teacher and likes horses.
I just want to meet a person with independent thought, good hygiene and not a idiot. So far it's only people with delusions of their own importance.
I ride a unicycle and I've just had a shower, but I suspect [s]most[/s] some people think I'm an idiot - is 2 out of 3 OK?
I've been with the same girl since I was 16. We grew up in the same schools (primary/secondary), and I asked her out via text while I was on a night shift on new years eve.
I'm 31 now and we've been married for 3 years almost. I've never really been single, so never had to go through a lot of stuff on this thread.
We both bought each other at least one surprise present this year. She got me a Renthal Far Bar Carbon and I got her a..... Renthal Fat Bar Carbon Lite!
She's a keeper 🙂
Other observations, single, no kids, probably a teacher and likes horses.
Disproportionate amount of teachers on the dating sites.
And nurses....
It's all lies, they are really secret millionaires trying to check out potentials.
You can normally tell the teachers as they don't generally have profile pictures up.
Met some lovely people through online dating, and some absolute nut jobs. Most of the normal ones have also regaled stories about nutty men too. Hopefully there's somewhere out there for everyone, and as has been said before, embrace your nuttiness and hopefully you'll find someone who compliments it.
[i]mr[b]s[/b]fry - Member
I just want to meet a person[/i]
I'm not understanding the "Mrs" part, 😆
Horses? I avoid the horse ladies. I concluded I'd never see her. Or if I wanted to see her, I'd have to visit the stables, etc. Nope, none of those types for me.
Ref dating sites and ladies profile pages. I did get the impression a lot of them were trying very hard. I'd read the "about me" section only to discover that the lady in question had such a full and busy life, Work, family, friends, travel, there'd be little or no room for a/the Man in her life.
I'd suggest that there may indeed be some scope for online dating coaching. For both Women and Men.
🙂